When "yourself" just isn't good enough

[Lonesome Crow]

Mmmm...a chick signed up on this site not too long ago only lives less than miles from me. So its relatively next door. I kindly offered her my assistance. She softly declined my invitations. She said it wasnt me..it was her.lol

Im no saint by all means..

Oh...I have plenty of secrets thats not bad...helping others from this site and beyound this site. Sometimes it requires putting my money where my mouth is... With complete strangers or with people very close to me. Just one of those things I chose to keep secrets. It dosnt make me better than or more noble than anyone else. The spirit of loving N giving is also my true nature. Just greatful for the oppotunties to live give N love.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Dudes...I did threesomes all summer. Obviously I dont have a problems getting women in bed with me.
Getting one chick is a chore..Getting 2 chicks @ the sametime is a challemge.lol

Im with Francis @ the moment. Trying to settle down or form a relationship with her. Balancing her wants N needs with my wants N needs without losing ourselve but taking a change to love again. Im leanring alot being with her.
Im still growing N developing as a person even @ my age. Im 44. Shes 29
Btw I also dated a woman thats younger than my duaghters. So whatever opinions about that is....
Kelsie ( my duaghter) wasnt too accepting of it. She rather just not hear about my love life..but is undertand that I do need and want a woman in my life...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

See what happens as soon as i say nice stuff about her.....
It was peacful until she got home...
which didnt last too long.
now i ma stab her fucken eyes out..

when i look into ur eyes...ur amazing
so please dont change anything about you....lmao

 

[nerdygirl]

"I became a man." That sentence bothers me quite a lot about the choices you made. My understanding of the word, "man" is that it is a mature male of our species. It does not sound mature to say, "I traded all that I was and became some other guy because chicks didn't dig me."

I'll agree. There are some men out there who really need to change a few things. Some should devote less of their day to gaming. Some should care more about their health, hygiene, and/or appearance. They should try to lose some of their awkwardness in social situations. That doesn't mean throwing out everything you are and starting over.

Women do not like a man less because he'd rather play Final Fantasy than basketball. We don't find a guy less attractive because he digs movies with light sabers. We don't think a guy is hotter because he drinks. And you know what? Even girls who aren't into science will be attracted to a guy who can explain something in a way that is interesting and easy to understand.

You sacrificed everything that you were in order to fit in. If you're happy with that, great! Don't, however, mistake all that you described with becoming, "a man". You didn't become a man- you became ANOTHER man.

 

[Mary Mary]

"I became a man." That sentence bothers me quite a lot about the choices you made. My understanding of the word, "man" is that it is a mature male of our species. It does not sound mature to say, "I traded all that I was and became some other guy because chicks didn't dig me."

I'll agree. There are some men out there who really need to change a few things. Some should devote less of their day to gaming. Some should care more about their health, hygiene, and/or appearance. They should try to lose some of their awkwardness in social situations. That doesn't mean throwing out everything you are and starting over.

Women do not like a man less because he'd rather play Final Fantasy than basketball. We don't find a guy less attractive because he digs movies with light sabers. We don't think a guy is hotter because he drinks. And you know what? Even girls who aren't into science will be attracted to a guy who can explain something in a way that is interesting and easy to understand.

You sacrificed everything that you were in order to fit in. If you're happy with that, great! Don't, however, mistake all that you described with becoming, "a man". You didn't become a man- you became ANOTHER man.

Well said. What I did like about the OP's post was his discovery of empowerment. What's the definition of neurotic? To do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. However, you're right, there were a lot of changes he probably didn't need to make.

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
It's possible that the OP's "changes" also reflected who he really is too and perhaps he is still being himself, albeit expressing himself to the world differently.
We all evolve throughout our lifetimes. Heck, I was a shy nerd in high school 20 years ago and wouldn't say "boo" to a fly. Anyone from those days who met me now would not recognize me. But the self-confidence I have was always in there, waiting to come out. My turning point was moving to London for 2 years. I'm at a place now where I can say "this is who I am, take it or leave it".

Teresa

 

[AFrozenSoul]

This topic is full of honeysuckle. Give me liberty to be who I am or give me DEATH!

All choices come with consequences. You can be yourself. However, if you are doing something that your chosen... preference finds unattractive... well then realize that yourself will repel many potential mates.

 

[Mr. Sir]

"I became a man." That sentence bothers me quite a lot about the choices you made. My understanding of the word, "man" is that it is a mature male of our species. It does not sound mature to say, "I traded all that I was and became some other guy because chicks didn't dig me."

I'll agree. There are some men out there who really need to change a few things. Some should devote less of their day to gaming. Some should care more about their health, hygiene, and/or appearance. They should try to lose some of their awkwardness in social situations. That doesn't mean throwing out everything you are and starting over.

Women do not like a man less because he'd rather play Final Fantasy than basketball. We don't find a guy less attractive because he digs movies with light sabers. We don't think a guy is hotter because he drinks. And you know what? Even girls who aren't into science will be attracted to a guy who can explain something in a way that is interesting and easy to understand.

You sacrificed everything that you were in order to fit in. If you're happy with that, great! Don't, however, mistake all that you described with becoming, "a man". You didn't become a man- you became ANOTHER man.

This is a lie ^

I can understand it not bothering somebody self-proclaimed as "nerdygirl", but for the vast majority of females, role-playing games and not partying is a MAJOR turnoff.

 

[Code S.O.L]

This is a lie ^

I can understand it not bothering somebody self-proclaimed as "nerdygirl", but for the vast majority of females, role-playing games and not partying is a MAJOR turnoff.

Granted, it's not something one should be particully open about in a club or certain social environments, but being expected to completely drop your rpg games and the like is utter bullshit in any sense of the word.

 

[Mary Mary]

Hi-
It's possible that the OP's "changes" also reflected who he really is too and perhaps he is still being himself, albeit expressing himself to the world differently.
We all evolve throughout our lifetimes. Heck, I was a shy nerd in high school 20 years ago and wouldn't say "boo" to a fly. Anyone from those days who met me now would not recognize me. But the self-confidence I have was always in there, waiting to come out. My turning point was moving to London for 2 years. I'm at a place now where I can say "this is who I am, take it or leave it".

Teresa

That's true, too. These changes may have been what he needed; but I don't other guys should feel the need to make such drastic ones.

---

This is a lie ^

I can understand it not bothering somebody self-proclaimed as "nerdygirl", but for the vast majority of females, role-playing games and not partying is a MAJOR turnoff.

Granted, it's not something one should be particully open about in a club or certain social environments, but being expected to completely drop your rpg games and the like is utter bullshit in any sense of the word.

I agree with this. I have unusual hobbies relative to my peer group; and although I do talk about them, I just don't talk about them very much.

 

[Brian]

Always share common ground first. You don't immediately invite your neighbor in to your house...that's why you have a nicely pruned hedgerow: it's for talking over after work a couple times first.

We can actually look at this the other way around. Let's say we're all friends and we all play video games on friday night and visit the museum whenever there's a new exhibit. Now let's say we meet somebody new by happenstance and one of the first things he talks about is how much he likes football and working on his car. Are we going to immediately warm up to him?

What if he tried to tell us about his new Dungeons and Dragons campaign first, or the blues concert he went to last week?

I spend a lot of my time around redneck types, or people who are generally a bit rough around the edges. But they're cool with geeky hobbies as long as you show them your common traits first.

 

[Mr. Sir]

Well I just don't understand the video game thing. I know plenty of jocks, jarheads, and fratboys who play video games, but I think the difference between them and the dorks is that the dorks think about them as a lifestyle where as the jocks just do it for like 30 minutes a day.

I am opposed to video games and junk food in the same way I am opposed to cocaine, binge drinking, and the hookup culture. It's just a form of parasitism, and nothing good really comes from it. The difference is that binge drinking and hookups trashes the jock people, and video games and junk food trashes the nerd people. I dunno this is just my opinion. I believe in freedom however, and cannot make decisions for another people. Therefore, do what you what, but there are consequences to the actions.

As for weird/unorthodox interests, I draw alot of cartoons, do acryllic painting, and make alot of ceramics for fun, and I also write alot of fanfiction using characters that I have made up. I guess all my nerdy interests are constructive though, whereas I just cannot for the life of me see how video games is constructive. I will say, in all fairness, a jock dude who obsesses over pro-sports is just as bad as a dork who obsesses over WoW and D&D. I don't ever watch sports. Many people are shocked that despite my involvement in bodybuilding and MMA that I can't even name more than 15 pro athletes. But I've reached the level where I don't have to care anymore.

 

[Mary Mary]

Well I just don't understand the video game thing. I know plenty of jocks, jarheads, and fratboys who play video games, but I think the difference between them and the dorks is that the dorks think about them as a lifestyle where as the jocks just do it for like 30 minutes a day.

I am opposed to video games and junk food in the same way I am opposed to cocaine, binge drinking, and the hookup culture. It's just a form of parasitism, and nothing good really comes from it. The difference is that binge drinking and hookups trashes the jock people, and video games and junk food trashes the nerd people. I dunno this is just my opinion. I believe in freedom however, and cannot make decisions for another people. Therefore, do what you what, but there are consequences to the actions.

As for weird/unorthodox interests, I draw alot of cartoons, do acryllic painting, and make alot of ceramics for fun, and I also write alot of fanfiction using characters that I have made up. I guess all my nerdy interests are constructive though, whereas I just cannot for the life of me see how video games is constructive. I will say, in all fairness, a jock dude who obsesses over pro-sports is just as bad as a dork who obsesses over WoW and D&D. I don't ever watch sports. Many people are shocked that despite my involvement in bodybuilding and MMA that I can't even name more than 15 pro athletes. But I've reached the level where I don't have to care anymore.

Video Games Lead to Faster Decisions That Are No Less Accurate
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100913121656.htm

I do watch the occasional UFC fight, but only after Netflix gets it.

 

[nerdygirl]

This is a lie ^

I can understand it not bothering somebody self-proclaimed as "nerdygirl", but for the vast majority of females, role-playing games and not partying is a MAJOR turnoff.

Did you even manage to type that out without laughing? Seriously? Maybe you need to wake up and smell the internet. There are so many non-nerds out there who play as various characters in MMORPGs. If a guy told a non-nerdy girl, "On Thursday nights, I get together with a bunch of my friends and we play a role play game in person, instead of online." She wouldn't think it was a "major turnoff". It would just be one of his interests.

If you said a girl doesn't want to listen to a guy ramble about his dwarf engineer for an hour, I'd agree. We also don't want to spend an hour hearing about lifting weights, the last football game you watched, or how hilarious it was when you farted on your friend's lunch while he was in the bathroom.

As for the alcohol... I have never met anybody- outside of alcoholics- who will reject somebody simply because they're not into getting drunk! This has nothing to do with me being a nerd, because frankly, I'm like the token nerd among most of the people I talk to offline.

 

[Ladysphinx]

I think that balance is the key to unlocking who you are. I have many hobbies and try new things when ever I get the chance. My hubby loves video games and he watches sports. He's a electronic's technician. You don't have to completly chance, just adjust yourself to what is needed in order to BETTER yourself. Fact is if you are single and the nerdy look isn't working either except loneliness or adjust your self so that you will be capable of attracting the oppesite gender. You can still chance a little and still be your self. It's like telling a women abuser don't change the right girl for you will come along eventually, does that sound logic no it doesn't he has to change certain behavior for that to happen. This applies to all ppl. To get the desired effect you have to make changes to the undesired settings.

 

[Mr. Sir]

This is a lie ^

I can understand it not bothering somebody self-proclaimed as "nerdygirl", but for the vast majority of females, role-playing games and not partying is a MAJOR turnoff.

Did you even manage to type that out without laughing? Seriously? Maybe you need to wake up and smell the internet. There are so many non-nerds out there who play as various characters in MMORPGs. If a guy told a non-nerdy girl, "On Thursday nights, I get together with a bunch of my friends and we play a role play game in person, instead of online." She wouldn't think it was a "major turnoff". It would just be one of his interests.

If you said a girl doesn't want to listen to a guy ramble about his dwarf engineer for an hour, I'd agree. We also don't want to spend an hour hearing about lifting weights, the last football game you watched, or how hilarious it was when you farted on your friend's lunch while he was in the bathroom.

As for the alcohol... I have never met anybody- outside of alcoholics- who will reject somebody simply because they're not into getting drunk! This has nothing to do with me being a nerd, because frankly, I'm like the token nerd among most of the people I talk to offline.

You obviously didn't read the post I made in Post # 32 of this thread. Just read it for reference. As I said, I know plenty of muscleheads and army boys who are hardcore gamers. However, most girls would be slightly turned off by a dude who said he did role-playing, unless he was HOT.

Not drinking socially is considered creepy for multiple reasons, I can list why later.

Also, it doesn't matter that you are a nerd if you are a female. You have the option to date fraternity juicers if you want and you have the option to date pseudo-intellectual pretty boys if you want and you have the option to date neckbearded dudes with acne who live in their parent's basement, too.

Being dorky is a turn-on, "cute", for females. It is a symbol of weakness for males.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Relaxing N being in the moment is onething..
Making corrections to improve my golf swing is another...

Telling a woman she beautiful is onething. Making her feel she beauitiful and appriciated when Im around her is another....

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well I just don't understand the video game thing. I know plenty of jocks, jarheads, and fratboys who play video games, but I think the difference between them and the dorks is that the dorks think about them as a lifestyle where as the jocks just do it for like 30 minutes a day.

I am opposed to video games and junk food in the same way I am opposed to cocaine, binge drinking, and the hookup culture. It's just a form of parasitism, and nothing good really comes from it. The difference is that binge drinking and hookups trashes the jock people, and video games and junk food trashes the nerd people. I dunno this is just my opinion. I believe in freedom however, and cannot make decisions for another people. Therefore, do what you what, but there are consequences to the actions.

As for weird/unorthodox interests, I draw alot of cartoons, do acryllic painting, and make alot of ceramics for fun, and I also write alot of fanfiction using characters that I have made up. I guess all my nerdy interests are constructive though, whereas I just cannot for the life of me see how video games is constructive. I will say, in all fairness, a jock dude who obsesses over pro-sports is just as bad as a dork who obsesses over WoW and D&D. I don't ever watch sports. Many people are shocked that despite my involvement in bodybuilding and MMA that I can't even name more than 15 pro athletes. But I've reached the level where I don't have to care anymore.

Just a random thought. Video games become constructive when you finally stop playing them and start making them.

This thread is so much fun to read.

 

[Ladysphinx]

Video games can also help build good eye/hand coordination. But again balance is the key.
Part reason why video gamers are single who would wanna be with a guy playing video games all day. Trr communicating with one tha are busy play and see what happens you get more reaction from a wall then one intriged while playing video games. This is what I have LEARNED out of experience. thats why female run when they hear about your GREAT LOVE for video games. Let me point out balance. If you have only one hobby/obsession it could mean that this is what most conversations will be about, again this will make MOST female run for the hills. Again it's about balance. You don't have to through all in the dustbin just find more intrests that will help you broaden you horizen. I found me a nice shy one to marry but I made sure that he had somethings we could talk about other than video games. I think Brain and socarets has a few good point. If you want to find someone that you can be with you have to make SOME adjusments or except loneliness. You dont have to change but it WILL help.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lmao...X ALl the women Ive gone out with plays vedio games. Some r more into it than others honeysuckle dude..U should see things Chelle N I were doing in vedio games.. Its kind of T rated thou
Non of these women r Nurds..its jsut enttertainment N something to do togther..something in common..

Im also smart enough to go shoping with my woman or take time with her doing her interest. After all...i wanted to get to know her???
if its not vedio games..wheather its vedio games or not..is not the piont..Its balance or compremizing..Its not all about me Of course my buddies might make fun of me...but I dont them giving me blow jobs Say Im pussy whooped or whatever..

What women want is to be chirrished.
You can change outside honeysuckle all day long but until u have this type of attitude from within..a woman can sense it or FEEL it. She might be gracious enough to give me a couple of chances to figure the honeysuckle. Shell fresia with me while shes @ it too.lol but if I dont change or adjust..the candie gets closed....