Why are guys homophobic?

[grainofrice24]

I was reading the "why aren't all women gay" post...and it reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She asked me: "Why are all guys homophobic".

I responded with something like:
"What do you mean WHY!?!
Isn't it obvious....duh!?!
It's because...
...
...
well....
think of it this way....uhm.....
if you were.....
fresia me...why are we homophobic?"

I'm in NO WAY claiming to be above it, but it struck me as definitively irrational. The conversation lead to the idea of homophobia being caused by men not being comfortable with their sexuality...which I countered with the argument: "then why do some women who are so comfortable with their sexuality conveniently switch their sexual orientation when given a substantial amount of alcohol".

That argument was countered with "a) for free drinks, 2) because guys like lesbians...D) and HOW can guys be homophobic AND love lesbians?!?!?!". :club:

I know for me...I don't mind talking to a gay dude. I have before...I don't CURRENTLY have any gay friends, but that's because I don't go out LOOKING for gay friends. But there are things that women do that I wont do because it's considered gay. Like women share beds all the time...but I'd sooner sleep on the floor than share a bed with another guy. Women can say another girl is pretty like "oh my god she's GORGEOUS!", but I typically wouldn't compliment another guys looks.




Well...that's what I ask you ALL?!?! Why are us guys homophobic?!

P.S. to any straight guy who claims to not be homophobic...BULLSHIT

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm not afraid of homosexuals.

So I'm sort of wondering what you mean by "homophobic." Here's a little something that today's modern media doesn't want you to know:

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO GAY FRIENDS.

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC BECAUSE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS AND YOU SAY, "Oh, that's gay!"

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC IF YOU'D RATHER NOT SHARE A BED WITH A DUDE.

Don't swallow liberal Hollywood's crap. There's nothing wrong with preferring to not come into close physical contact with a man. And there's nothing wrong with simply not having gay friends if you've never met any. I'm tired of this attitude where everyone assumes that someone HATES or is AFRAID OF gay people just because their life doesn't come into close contact with the gay lifestyle or issues.

P.S. to any straight guy who claims to not be homophobic...BULLSHIT

Like I said.. I'm not homophobic and I'm straight.

This thread reeks of ignorance.

 

[evanescencefan91]

I agree with bjd he makes a good pint,

first a few tidbits, female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality

like except for the occasional bi dude

(don't mean to sterotype)

but we studied this in our psyche class,

and most guys are either like 99.999% straight or 99.99% gay

in female sexuality there's more wriggle room, so it's more common for a straight girl to have the occasional romantic thought about another female, than a straight guy thinking about another another man. ( although it does happen)

also in society it's more okay for woman to be less femine but it is not as okay for men to be less manly, and many people assocaite men together as not manly

also I think there's more of an emotional bond between woman, that can more easily lead to an intimate relationship

I don't really think all guys are homphobic

I could maybe elaborate more but it's getting late

but there are some of my thoughts

 

[Sean]

I think what evfan said about how female sexuality is more fluid, more 'wiggle room' can be true.

I believe it's more socially acceptable for a woman to be bisexual than it is for a man.
Like Evfan said, which I may not 100% agree on (and apparently is statistically proven, from what she says ), people tend to not believe guys who claim to be 'bisexual'.


Some reasons for homophobia, this article says it better than I would have been able to:

"What causes people to be prejudiced against gay and lesbian people?
There are many factors that can cause a person to be homophobic. [Some are]:
* Having strong religious beliefs that disapprove of sex and/or homosexuality
* Having little/no social contact with lesbian and gay people
* Reporting no homosexual experiences or feelings

'When you're scared, especially of something you actually know nothing about, hatred is a natural reaction.' Robert [Avert]"

(Source: http://www.avert.org/homophobia.htm)

 

[evanescencefan91]

also in earlier times and now it's more accoustumed for woman to hang out, woman were more expected to be friends with other woman

you know do the whole weaving washing, bathing together deal

and men were ment to compete with other men and stand on their own, and not do the whole man hug thing

 

[Sean]

also in earlier times and now it's more accoustumed for woman to hang out, woman were more expected to be friends with other woman

you know do the whole weaving washing, bathing together deal

and men were ment to compete with other men and stand on their own, and not do the whole man hug thing

Yeah, some men can be insecure about themselves.
They may fear that things like crying, sharing emotions/feelings or man hugging could make them, or cause others to think they're 'unmanly.'

 

[AncientBard]

Why are all women sexist?

 

[evanescencefan91]

Why are all women sexist?/

not all but some are,

I don't think I am and I have tons of guy friends to prove it

ome reasons for homophobia, this article says it better than I would have been able to:

"What causes people to be prejudiced against gay and lesbian people?
There are many factors that can cause a person to be homophobic. [Some are]:
* Having strong religious beliefs that disapprove of sex and/or homosexuality
* Having little/no social contact with lesbian and gay people
* Reporting no homosexual experiences or feelings

'When you're scared, especially of something you actually know nothing about, hatred is a natural reaction.' Robert [Avert]"

those are also some good points thanks for sharing those

 

[Mr. Sir]

I am cool with gay guys as long as they are manly and act like men. I think the lisping, the limp wrist, and the funny walk is just a big act to get attention that I dont respect. Gays are often really into art, so that's something that I could have in common with a gay dude.

I have no problem with people being gay as long as they keep it to themselves. The act repulses me, but it's not up to me to tell people what to do in their bedrooms. I honestly think everyone's a little bit bi. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a homosexual as long as they are responsible sexually.

But honestly, I think alot of gay men put on the "act" to get attention and claim "victimhood" behind a minority status. I'm all for guys being into art and fashion (I am myself) and not being football-watching meatheads, but I think alot of gays were driven to being gay because they were alienated by meatheads. Which is ashame because dudes shouldn't be called "faggots" for being into art and drama.

Here's my issue though. I used to be a beta male that got sexually harassed by bigger dudes in his early teens and called faggot all the time. I went to the gym, the MMA mat, and now nobody fucks with me anymore. But the psycological scars are still deep. In a sense, it makes me angry that some gay guys use their homosexuality as a victim card and call themselves an "oppressed minority" and act effeminate instead of toughening up and fighting the meatheads who bullied them.

 

[wresponpanfruit]

I am cool with gay guys as long as they are manly and act like men. I think the lisping, the limp wrist, and the funny walk is just a big act to get attention that I dont respect. Gays are often really into art, so that's something that I could have in common with a gay dude.

I have no problem with people being gay as long as they keep it to themselves. The act repulses me, but it's not up to me to tell people what to do in their bedrooms. I honestly think everyone's a little bit bi. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a homosexual as long as they are responsible sexually.

But honestly, I think alot of gay men put on the "act" to get attention and claim "victimhood" behind a minority status. I'm all for guys being into art and fashion (I am myself) and not being football-watching meatheads, but I think alot of gays were driven to being gay because they were alienated by meatheads. Which is ashame because dudes shouldn't be called "faggots" for being into art and drama.

Here's my issue though. I used to be a beta male that got sexually harassed by bigger dudes in his early teens and called faggot all the time. I went to the gym, the MMA mat, and now nobody fucks with me anymore. But the psycological scars are still deep. In a sense, it makes me angry that some gay guys use their homosexuality as a victim card and call themselves an "oppressed minority" and act effeminate instead of toughening up and fighting the meatheads who bullied them.

It sounds like you've got a ways to go before you're over your homophobia.

 

[evanescencefan91]

But honestly, I think alot of gay men put on the "act" to get attention and claim "victimhood" behind a minority status. I'm all for guys being into art and fashion (I am myself) and not being football-watching meatheads, but I think alot of gays were driven to being gay because they were alienated by meatheads. Which is ashame because dudes shouldn't be called "faggots" for being into art and drama.

I disagree with people being driven to being gay, it's not really something that can be affected by the surrounding environment

if everyone who got bullied in school then pretty much anyone who went to middle school would be gay.

Here's my issue though. I used to be a beta male that got sexually harassed by bigger dudes in his early teens and called faggot all the time. I went to the gym, the MMA mat, and now nobody fucks with me anymore. But the psycological scars are still deep. In a sense, it makes me angry that some gay guys use their homosexuality as a victim card and call themselves an "oppressed minority" and act effeminate instead of toughening up and fighting the meatheads who bullied them.

I haven't met every gay guy, so I can't say this with complete certainty, but I don't think many gay guys do that, but I'm sure some people might do that.

Also not everyone has the same body type, and man seriously gay men ( sorry don't mean to sterotype) but gay guys are a pretty gym going people, and man really have you seen some gay guys they are really buff, have you seen some of them shirtless, i mean seriously

but besides the point not everyone can bulk up like that, some people can go to gym everyday, but they'll still be thing and gangly,

especially in middle school and high school not everyone reaches puperpy at the same time, so a guy, might still be smaller than the other guys for a few years

 

[Mr. Sir]

Meh I guess it's just the really loud effeminate ones who go around spurting their Parlor Pink agenda who act like that. They draw attention to themselves, and deserve criticism. We have alot in my area.

The ones who don't act like that I have no reason to have a beef with.

 

[wresponpanfruit]

Meh I guess it's just the really loud effeminate ones who go around spurting their Parlor Pink agenda who act like that. They draw attention to themselves, and deserve criticism. We have alot in my area.

The ones who don't act like that I have no reason to have a beef with.

Maybe they aren't drawing attention to themselves so much as you feel your attention drawn to them? hmmmm... j/k

 

[Brian]

I am cool with gay guys as long as they are manly and act like men. I think the lisping, the limp wrist, and the funny walk is just a big act to get attention that I dont respect.

...For once I agree with something Socrates says. I never have understood the lisp thing. And I had a gay friend for a time who called the guys who acted that way 'faggots' (his words, not mine), so I'm led to assume there's some sort of divide on the matter in the gay male community.


I don't mind gay people, it's their business. But I don't feel ultra special for meeting one or anything...honestly I couldn't care less. I can't say gay rights issues are something I really campaign for. I think they should have the same rights as straight people. I suppose there's just a lot of other issues that I consider to be looming, dangerous problems in comparison, and I can't really see people wanting to legally glue themselves to each other to have a divorce later as being on the same level of importance as said issues. Kind of like a house fire. As you enter you might find lots of little flames, but what you need to find is the main fire. Gay marriage, 'Dont ask Dont tell', and a variety of other issues are the little flames to me.

I don't think I'd want to share a bed with a guy regularly, but I have before in hotels. LOL, that sounds bad...it was a trip we took for work and we only had one room for four of us. I've also come in early for work at the ambulance before and 'snuggled up' with a couple of the guys still sleeping as a joke. So I'm pretty secure in my sexuality I'd say.

 

[grainofrice24]

I'm not afraid of homosexuals.

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO GAY FRIENDS.

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC BECAUSE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS AND YOU SAY, "Oh, that's gay!"

YOU ARE NOT HOMOPHOBIC IF YOU'D RATHER NOT SHARE A BED WITH A DUDE.

Don't swallow liberal Hollywood's crap. There's nothing wrong with preferring to not come into close physical contact with a man. And there's nothing wrong with simply not having gay friends if you've never met any. I'm tired of this attitude where everyone assumes that someone HATES or is AFRAID OF gay people just because their life doesn't come into close contact with the gay lifestyle or issues.

Perhaps I should clarify. When I say "homophobic" I DON'T mean you hate or dislike gay people in ANY WAY. I have enough of my own honeysuckle to worry about, I really don't care what gay people do in the privacy of their own bedroom. They're just average joes and josephines who happen to like something I'm not personally into. I look at it not too differently as if someone liked rap...i'm not personally into rap...but I don't think it's WRONG to like it, nor am I afraid of people who do.

HOWEVER...when I say homophobic, perhaps I should have said "the fairly common male sexual insecurity". In other words...WHY men would refuse to share a bed. To me, that discussion can't be made without bringing up "homophobia" (or sexual insecurity). I suppose it is unfair to generalize...but the reason I'd sleep on the floor instead of in a bed with another guy is because "I'm not sleeping with another guy!" (and I was under the impression most guys feel the same way...but if not so be it).

Although evanescencefan's point of guys seeing being gay as either black or white does pretty much sum it up. I suppose women do give themselves more "wiggle room". The thing is, I know I'm straight...the idea of doing another guy is definitely not for me...especially when comparing it to having sex with a girl. But regardless it seems our sexual insecurity still dictates some of our actions (to a degree). That's the part I figured most guys have in common...and that's the part I found irrational. Not wrong...just irrational.

P.S. I agree that hollywoods definition of a homophobe is garbage, but then the same can be said about a LOT of things that come from hollywood

 

[A Desolate Soul]

to me, gay guys are no different from anyone else. so what? they like the same gender, big deal. homosexuality is actually a fairly common thing in nature. i think what pisses me off the most are the "god hates fags" people. they could fall off the earth for all i care (d)

Oh! and speaking of which,this discussion reminds me of something funny i read earlier:
Dear women,
Please remember if gay men seem kinder, funnier, and more attractive than straight men, it could be because they haven't spent their lives under relentless psychological warfare from your gender.
Sincerely,
A straight man
XD

 

[Mr. Sir]

to me, gay guys are no different from anyone else. so what? they like the same gender, big deal. homosexuality is actually a fairly common thing in nature. i think what pisses me off the most are the "god hates fags" people. they could fall off the earth for all i care (d)

Oh! and speaking of which,this discussion reminds me of something funny i read earlier:
Dear women,
Please remember if gay men seem kinder, funnier, and more attractive than straight men, it could be because they haven't spent their lives under relentless psychological warfare from your gender.
Sincerely,
A straight man
XD

I think the homosexuality appearing in nature is a big hoax.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I have a gay male friend and a gay female friend. For some reason they both have fallen into the stereotype of a gay man and woman. My male friend (who I don't talk to that often because he's always a drama queen, a real downer) is very flamboyant when it comes to how he acts. The first time I saw him after high school I was delivering a mattress to his female neighbour, she got him and his boyfriend to help because she didn't want me to hurt myself. He comes out dressed in short shorts, (both actually) and had a pink cut off t-shirt on. The two of them were acting very "girly" as they carried the other end of the mattress into the apartment. He wasn't like that before until he came out, I couldn't figure out why he had to change and act so hollywood gay.

My lesbian friend used to be a bit of a tom boy in highschool, but she had long hair and work a little make-up. I noticed a few years ago that her hair was chopped short, no make up, wears guy clothes, not a big difference from before but enough of one.

I once worked with a guy that I became good friends with and he was homophobic, he didn't even want to be near another gay person. He didn't even believe me that the girl who worked in the office was a lesbian, or her when I told her to tell him. Actually she was bi but went full lesbian because a guy knocked her up then took off. I understood where it came from with him, he was made fun of because he had very "feminine" eyes, long thick eye lashes, the kind women die for. He wasn't a small guy either, he worked out but wasn't a confrontation type of person. Some of my coworkers nick named hi PD squared (power dyke squared) until I stopped them because I could see how much it bothered him. His family was also very chirstian and did not believe in homosexuality.

It doesn't bother me, unless like someone else mentioned, they put on the whole act, like my gay friend, or start hitting on me, that makes me uncomfortable. He may have hid his homosexuality before but when he came out he completely change his personality. Now though he doesn't dress like he did when he first came out, he's back to how he was before, he's still over dramatic like we're programmed a gay person to be from Hollywood.

 

[ShybutHi]

I know a gay guy who really hates flamboyant gay guys. I think these gay guys who are really flamboyant just put it on and dont even realise that all they are doing is trying and fit into a stereotype because apparently thats how you act if your gay. The majority of people always try and fit in to a certain stereotype or group, alot of people dont even realize that they do it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I have a theory of my own:

Maybe homophobia is NATURAL. As in, it's our sexual orientation's way of expressing itself. Like "omg this doesnt feel right!" *Cringe*

Does that make any sense?