Why do men only like women that are...

[SophiaGrace]

This thread will begin with a story.

When I was younger, around the age of 14 I was in a clique of girls who were sort of goth. Honestly, I was on the outer fringes of it but I was still in it. And like, hey I liked boys. And I had this one friend named Melody, she was my best friend. And we had math class together and she'd eat lunch with me sometimes. She was a huge flirt, and would talk about sex all the time making me go O_O <= my facial expression.

I remember one day when I was eating lunch alone, wondering why boys didnt seem to like me as much as they did her. I was nice, kind, funny. Why didnt they like me? And i asked my nurse this...and I dont remember what she said back but I remember the look in her eye, I could almost tell that she wanted to tell me "well because melody is very loose with boys."

I remember very distinctly one time Melody telling me that she was planning to sexually suprise her boyfriend. And i really didnt know what to say to that .

Anyway, I grow up...and I see all these girls who are loose, and they get all the guys. It isn't fair. Why do all the nice, quiet girls never get the guys & get stuck with douchebags that treat us rotten?

It sucks. Guys have it so much easier, all they have to do is go to a strip club or buy an escourt. Women get stigmatized if they are loose and then called frigid if we dont put out.

What do you guys want from us?!?! :l

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Women get stigmatized if they are loose and then called frigid if we dont put out.

I was going to swoop in on you for the sweeping generalization, but then I saw this, and there really is some truth to it. If there is anything I dislike more than a sweeping generalization, it is a double standard.

Take today's non-news item: Tiger Woods. He is a Man-Whore, plain and simple. "Sex-addict" my ass. He's just another rich celebrity who used his money and status to get laid, and put his personal life into jeopardy. But you just know that when the news initially broke, that there were men out there who were cheering Tiger on, if only in the locker room and well out of earshot of their wives and girlfriends.

If it had been a woman, Society would have labeled her as the Whore of ******* Babylon.

We get called sluts and skanks, and men who score big are studs and heroes.

Gag me.

What do you guys want from us?!?! :l

Hell if I know.

And yeah, I bet that there are men out there who really don't want "just" sex.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Hell if I know.

And yeah, I bet that there are men out there who really don't want "just" sex.

It really is VERY difficult for me to tell whether or not guys just want sex or not because apparently they'll say anything to get in your pants. :/

So I stall for time to try to figure it out and then they think i've friendzoned them when really I haven't. It's confusing.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

It really is VERY difficult for me to tell whether or not guys just want sex or not because apparently they'll say anything to get in your pants. :/

This is actually funny in that ironic, it's really-not-so-funny sense.

I dated a guy for a bit who had made a big deal of stating on his dating profile (yes, I'm a loser, I used match.com) of saying, "I don't just want sex, ladies."

Later on after we'd dated for a bit, he told me "yeah that was a lie, I'm just in it for the sex."


ARGH!!!!!!!!

 

[mintymint]

I don't know why you assume all the quiet girls wind up with douchebags. Are you saying that these loose girls are getting all the intelligent, chivalrous men? There is a price to pay for these girls who define and value themselves through their sexuality and ability to attract men. I've known girls like that who face massive insecurity in other areas of their lives and just gravitate back to men because it's a safety zone where they will always find acceptance. It can be a real hindrance when they try to find a sense of self later on in life. I've also seen it affect their ability to have more serious committed relationships. I'm just saying that there can be a downside to that kind of behavior.

As for strip clubs and escorts... hehehe... not as easy for some of us as you might think As a "quiet guy" I can see myself at the helm of the first manned mission to mars before I can picture myself doing... ummm... yah.

And I've always thought that as we move(inch?) towards "gender equality" that the guys would end up with the short end of the stick re: sex. I mean, all things equal, you girls will totally have the upper hand. Women may want sex, but men WANT sex. But for now, yeah, women do get screwed over by the slut/stud double standard. Although honestly, both men and women help to propagate that double standard.

As a practical matter, do the guys know you're out there? How quiet are you? It's always hard to get someone to consider something they don't know exists.

And there are many men who don't "just want sex." However, sex is almost always an important part of a relationship for guys. It just is. That doesn't have to degrade the rest of it.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I don't know why you assume all the quiet girls wind up with douchebags. Are you saying that these loose girls are getting all the intelligent, chivalrous men?

Oh, good call! I missed that one.


Soph: this is for you!!

Although honestly, both men and women help to propagate that double standard.

Well, it's Society at large that does that, not "men" or "women."

I still think that it's total BS.

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha OK...I think mintymint has a good point here.

GUYS NEED SEX!!

No questions, no exceptions. The only variable is HOW MUCH a guy needs/wants sex. Is he willing to mess a girl up to get it from her? Is he willing to work for it? Is he gonna force himself upon a girl for it?

As mintymint noted, sex is definitely a huge part of a relationship for a guy...generally speaking, if a guy feels that the sex is good, he'll be willing to stay with the woman EVEN IF her character is piss-poor....it's like sex sometimes becomes a relationship marker or gauge for a guy. That's one reason why it's so annoying when a woman withholds it for some reason. XD LADIES, DON'T PAWN YOUR SEX FOR FAVORS OR GOOD TREATMENT!! haha, OK...soapbox over.

Haha....awwww...poor girls on this blog. Yeah, there are guys who would say anything to get in your pants...but as you've all mentioned, there are plenty who won't do such things also. So I think guys need to be looked at on a case-by-case basis....but just KEEP IN MIND that even if the guy is willing to wait for you to be ready...he still wants sex and is looking for it. He may not get nasty or manipulate you into it, but he wants it; don't ever doubt that.

----Steve

 

[SophiaGrace]

But its true, nice girls end up with douchbags. Why? Because I see it happen ALL the time.

Nice girls are more likely to put up with the douchbaggery, and douchbags KNOW this so they seek out these nice, sweet girls. It sucks, but this is what happens.

 

[Badjedidude]

Nice girls are more likely to put up with the douchbaggery

I don't think that they're more likely to PUT UP with it...maybe FALL FOR it. Nice girls are definitely easier to trick sometimes, as they will generally be more willing to give a guy a second or third chance...or perhaps postpone judgement on a guy in order to see what he's really like.

A devious ******* of a man will use that postponed judgement or extra chances to create a fake front that is believeable to the girl (who usually always hopes for the best and expects that others are as honest as she is). Then, right when the woman lowers her guard....BAM. Over. It sucks, and I always hate to see women taken advantage of like that.

Lol my knight-in-shining-armor-syndrome flares up at such things.

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

i can only respond from my own personal experience.

but i tell you this.

i am the quintessential nice guy. or at least, i used to be. in my own personal experience, the more i cared, the more i was walked on, the more i opened up, the more it was used against me, the more i tried, the less effort she put forth.

just my two cents, i have never had a girl be so attracted to me as when i was going through a total ******* phase. i couldn't beat them off with a stick when i was with my girlfriend, banging her bestfriend, and sleeping over at her neighbor's house, while trying to re-convert (successfully) my roommates lesbian friend. was just a phase. but, my God, they kept coming back for more and more.

i don't get it. i really don't.

but i think that each gender thinks this experience is exclusive to theirs. i don't think it is. put aside gender for a minute.

i think it is a deadly combination of factors...

first, i think that the strong prey on the weak, man or woman.

second, i think we are oftentimes primally attracted to our opposite (sadist, masochist)

third, i think sometimes, we, ourselves, are not in tune with what we really want.

mix it all up and you get a giant fricking mess, which is exactly what every one of my relationships has ever been. now (especially after this last week), i'm about ready to just give up and look for a lady with no strings attached who wants casual sex.

sad?

so, i am not convinced it is man vs. woman, so much as predator vs. prey. i've been the predator. i've been the prey.

---

Wow! that picture makes me feel like i don't know what i did, but i need to say, yes ma'am, i am sorry!

 

[SophiaGrace]

GUYS NEED SEX!!

no no no no....guys dont NEED sex...they want it. WANT.

Geez...I don't understand why guys get wants/needs mixed up.

 

[Badjedidude]

Geez...I don't understand why guys get wants/needs mixed up.

It's not a mix up. I meant what I said. Guys NEED sex. They can pretend not to for a while, and they can even appear to not need it....but if a guy holds off too long, deep inside of him a fire builds, slowly consuming him from inside out if he doesn't actually act upon the need. Seriously.

If a guy does NOT need sex, then that's usually a sign of psychological problems or apathy.

It might be hard for you women to understand...lol but yeah, I'd say it's a NEED.

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

I vote NEED.

like, being in the presence of a female that you are attracted to can actually be a painful experience.

primal needs (i know this is debatable), but for me: food, water, shelter (maybe LOL), and SEX! aka - procreation

same reason i am sitting here feeling guilty about banging my sociopath ex for 2 hours this morning...

 

[SophiaGrace]

Ok, let me pose you guys a question.

Are you going to die if you don't have sex? Like, literally, die?

Food, water, shelter <= without two of these you'd most definately die and if you didn't have shelter it'd be damned hard to live.

If you aren't going to die, its a WANT.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

Ok, let me pose you guys a question.

Are you going to die if you don't have sex? Like, literally, die?

Food, water, shelter <= without two of these you'd most definately die and if you didn't have shelter it'd be damned hard to live.

YES. I would die. heart attack, stress, cancer, something would get me. Can't say it would kill me outright, but it certainly would contribute to an early passing! Of course, that is why God invented masturbation! (will i be struck by lightning now?)

 

[SophiaGrace]

Ok, let me pose you guys a question.

Are you going to die if you don't have sex? Like, literally, die?

Food, water, shelter <= without two of these you'd most definately die and if you didn't have shelter it'd be damned hard to live.

YES. I would die. heart attack, stress, cancer, something would get me. Can't say it would kill me outright, but it certainly would contribute to an early passing! Of course, that is why God invented masturbation! (will i be struck by lightning now?)

LOL!!

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

Also, without sex,

I might not die immediately,

but the human race certainly would within a hundred years or so!

so, you see, it is with a heavy heart and a thoughtful valiant mind, that i determine, i need to have sex! for the good of mankind!

 

[mintymint]

Ok, let me pose you guys a question.

Are you going to die if you don't have sex? Like, literally, die?

Food, water, shelter <= without two of these you'd most definately die and if you didn't have shelter it'd be damned hard to live.

If you aren't going to die, its a WANT.

Guys absolutely do have sexual needs. It's part of being a healthy adult. We may not need it to survive, but we certainly need it to be healthy and happy. Why are you so anti-sex?

 

[Badjedidude]

A guy will die because he'll go nuts. Seriously. The most tightly-wound, frustrated, awkwardly nutso guys I've ever known have been dudes on epic dry spells...no sex for YEARS...like that.

It's not a joke. @_@ Guys need it.

----Steve

 

[SophiaGrace]

A guy will die because he'll go nuts. Seriously. The most tightly-wound, frustrated, awkwardly nutso guys I've ever known have been dudes on epic dry spells...no sex for YEARS...like that.

It's not a joke. @_@ Guys need it.

----Steve

But...but...theyre not dead lol.

It's a want, not a need.