"I basicly consider my life over, as I had bad luck almost all life."
Unless you're planning to commit suicide soon, have an accident, or are inflicted with a terminal disease, you're only in the early stage of life - being so young, with so much ahead of you. To judge the destiny of your next 50+ years based upon the past 15 or so years is entirely unwarranted. Let me explain, based upon my own life experiences.
Middle School was tough for me too, with few friends, struggles with learning, and bullies to fear. High School was entirely different though, with a new environment, good friends, fun times, and easier learning. First year of college was tough again, with me moving to a big city and struggling with classes, uncomfortable roommate situations, and loneliness - to the point of being put on probation and nearly dropping out. A new dorm the next year though changed everything. I learned how to study right, made some great friends, and enjoyed the best social time of my life for the next 3 years. My 35 year work career followed the same up and down path, with 6 locations each giving me completely different environments, relationships, and experiences. In all, I can look back and see that my life has gone through 9 eras, with each one offering unique, interesting living experiences - some good and some bad.
So, while TheRealCallie tries to suggest ways to help you through the present, I wish to change your perspective for the future. Your past or present struggles are NOT a prediction for the future unless you choose to embrace them. When you get into High School, the new environment and people will provide an opportunity for things to change. And since High School can also be tough these days for kids, don't judge your entire life on that short phase of your life either. You've got many eras of life to pursue, with new places, changing environments, and interesting experiences to look forward to.
Through easy or hard times, your identity, self worth, purpose, and success in life should not be determined by your circumstances. Consider that there are numerous rich, famous, attractive people around that are miserable failures in life - with many becoming drug addicts, alcoholics, and suicide victims. At the same time there are poor, simple, unattractive people who have made incredible lives for themselves or others - people with peace, joy, and love enriching their lives. Both types can be found in any nation, I assume even in yours, so the outcome must be tied to one's beliefs, values, and mind set, not location or inherited privileges.
"I feel like trash, like nothing, like no one wants me nearby. I want this to end. I feel like others are privileged, and I have just bad luck."
Iontu, I sympathise with your stated feeling and problems, but I don't think resolving all of these current issues will straighten out your life. You see, you're going to have various problems throughout your whole life. And though our mindset and choices can certainly help minimize these problems, its ultimately our character, and God's guidance if we allow it, that helps us through them. Understand that life is a process of you going through experiences that shape your character, and God's more interested in your character than your comfort. So what do you do?
First, I'd suggest you realize that your self worth and infinite value comes from God and his love for you, not from others. Here's a song to remind you of that.
[size=small]Second, I'd suggest you pray daily for God to change your heart, your mind, and your attitude. Although he does steer us around many of life's challenges when we ask, he also helps us walk through and face them, which strengthens us in many ways. Here's a real nice song to help you with that - worth hearing through a good set of headphones.
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