Women who aren't afraid to pursue and what men REALLY think about them.

[jd7]

Nearly all my exes pursued me, not because I'm a prize but because I spent a lot of years being either too shy to try, too stoned to notice, or too hurt too try again.

I love aggressive chicks.

 

[mountainvista]

I've been both the pursuer and the pursued, and I didn't really find that it made all that much difference in the end result. The relationships either lasted or didn't last for reasons other than who made the first aggressive move.

The one slight difference is that for some of the times I was the more aggressive individual, the men took that as my being only sexually interested and acted accordingly. So yeah, there is that idea still prevalent among some people that if the woman pursues, then it means she's a slut.

 

[Wanderer145]

It's worked once being the pursuer...it has not worked since. Being Pursued? Maybe once or twice but circumstances were a little awkward as in the people were off on rebounds with baggage... few of my close friends have had it happen but its never genuinely happened for me. I would be incredibly flattered if it did happen and would try to make a more active approach on my end to take it further...however it seems like the stuff of myth these days. It is refreshing to see other women have been doing the initiating on here.

 

[EveWasFramed]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

 

[AJ1982]

This could be a very hot-button topic, so everyone be civil and respectful.
This is an issue that I've heard conflicting opinions on.

I can only relate my own personal experience and would like to hear what others have experienced. Opinions are welcome, but I'm especially interested in actual experiences. Experiences from both male and female are highly desired.

Again, I'd like to ask that no one gets ugly, but that we just discuss the matter like adults.

OK, my experience when doing the "chasing" so to speak....

Anytime I've done the initiating, it's always ended badly. The relationships were almost always VERY short term. I have often wondered if there is that initial "wow, she's interested in me and letting me know" surprise/feeling and then when it fades, so does the man's interest. Oh I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons why initial attraction fades, but based on my own reasoning (and experiences), I do wonder if being the pursuer plays a large part in it. I have often wondered if perhaps (subconsciously) people don't appreciate things as much if they didn't have to work for them, so to speak.
I've heard varying opinions from men. One opinion is that they enjoy being pursued. Other opinions (even ones I've read on this very forum) suggest that the man wonders if the woman is "desperate" or "just how many men has she been with" if she's bold enough to do the chasing.

What do you guys (and gals ) think?

Well from my own experience (all of two times in 15 years lol) I preffered to be the one that got chased, it helped break any anxiety I had and made me feel more relaxed because it was obvious the lady was interested in me, which is great for me because women pretty much much have to etch I like you into a bat and smack me around the head with it before I notice. But on both occasions we lived just to far apart for it to work (other countries). Which lead me to the theory that anyone I like doesn't like me, and anyone that does lives too far away. I'm sure had these ladies not liked me then fate would of had us living next door to each other.

 

[kamya]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

Have had this experience with gay men a few times. Tell them you aren't interested :O

 

[AJ1982]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

Have had this experience with gay men a few times. Tell them you aren't interested :O

Yeah, I think it's best to just be honest and tell them they're not your type.

 

[Sci-Fi]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

I tell them straight out. And in one case that did not work with one girl I had no romantic interest in, so it destroyed a long time friendship and I had to start ignoring her. With another girl it was her personal honeysuckle that stood in the way and even when she pressed the issue about a relationship I had to remind her why not. Just stuck to my guns and didn't let them pressure me into anything.

 

[Erevetot]

I agree with what the rest mentioned. Honesty is better for both sides, it may hurt them temporarily, and damage any friendship you may had, but it's better in the long run

 

[Locke]

I have been pursued and done the pursuing. I like both.

I was going through rough patches during the few times that women showed interest in me first and pursued me. It was nice. It boosted my self-esteem, made me feel wanted. I never placed any negative judgments on women who pursued me. The thought never even occurred to me.

Pursuing a girl I liked was always fun too. Asking someone I cared about for a date (or being asked) and dating should be fun, not something I had to do so I wouldn't be alone.

I think that's the key, whether you're chasing someone or being chased: Have fun. Don't take things too casually, but don't be too serious either. It's always worked for me. I do take relationships seriously though.

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

In a polite, respectful and straightforward a way as possible.

 

[OnlyMe]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

Definitely be honest and upfront about it.

As someone who has been rejected numerous times, the thing that annoys me the most is when someone doesn't even have enough respect to be honest about why they're not interested.

 

[AJ1982]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

Definitely be honest and upfront about it.

As someone who has been rejected numerous times, the thing that annoys me the most is when someone doesn't even have enough respect to be honest about why they're not interested.

Definitely, I was on the end of rejection on a dating site, and the lady couldn't have been nicer about it, she just said she was flattered but She wasn't interested in me can't remember te exact words sorry, but I cam away from that thinking at least she was easy on me and that was that. I respected her for it.

 

[Regumika]

OK...for those of you who claim to like aggressive women/women who case/initiate, here's another question.
What if it's UNWANTED attention? How do you decline the attention?

Definitely be honest and upfront about it.

As someone who has been rejected numerous times, the thing that annoys me the most is when someone doesn't even have enough respect to be honest about why they're not interested.

Definitely, I was on the end of rejection on a dating site, and the lady couldn't have been nicer about it, she just said she was flattered but She wasn't interested in me can't remember te exact words sorry, but I cam away from that thinking at least she was easy on me and that was that. I respected her for it.

I agree with this. Thank her for the interest and tell her it's just not going to work out =s

 

[Niantiel]

I like a forward woman, but I don't like an argumentative and controlling woman.
A healthy relationship based on individuality meeting together at the 50/50 line and clear communication with confirmation that things are understood and mutually respected. The tradeoff being that I show them that same respect, I'm not all that argumentative and controlling. Personally, I really don't want to have to come home from work as a manager to micromanage someone else...for free. Like seriously, if you're an adult, take some responsibility and act like an adult, you know? I like a woman that can hold her own and doesn't really need a man, but wants to have one. That's my type, really.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Only once has a girl who I found unattractive pursued me, and I rejected her.

Most of the time, it's girls I find cute. And as a shy guy, I run far, far away. This is why I've never been in a relationship - on the few times that I ask someone out, it's always someone who's not interested in me that way, and whenever someone is interested, I run.

 

[FauxReaL]

I've only had sex one time and it was with someone I really trusted. She was the one who initiated, or rather made it glaringly obvious that she was down enough for me to make the first move. She pretty much seduced me. When I arrived at her home (she lives a state away, this was the second time meeting) we really hit it off. She smiled and laughed at the things I said and playfully hit me on the arm a few times. Later in the day she showed me a bondage collar that she'd recently ordered and made me put it on her. She was fixing some wires for the TV so we could watch Netflix and bent down in a really erotic way. We went on a walk and sat under a tree and she just had this spark in her eye so I akwardly kissed her, reeled back and said like a dope "Sorry I'm not so experienced with this." (it was my first kiss ever) but I tried again and we actually made out pretty passionately and I tried my best to not be all sloppy. We went back inside and you know the rest.

I don't think I'd have had the courage otherwise to engage on that level had she not be the one to initiate. I think she knew that I'm not all that socially perceptive and she had to really put on some obvious cues.

It was pretty wonderful and I'm glad I lost my virginity to someone I loved (as a friend). I didn't tell her beforehand I was virgin, and when I finally did she didn't believe me saying, "I didn't think I was taking a man's virginity AT ALL."

I'm told I'm pretty attractive by societal standards, so I often times find girls hitting on me. I'm something of a clamoring buffoon so they typically either get bored, weirded out by my eccentricy or get into me depending on how confident I'm feeling att. I'm no player. If they are into me I don't even bother with asking for a # because I live with my mom again, and have no car or job. I'm also not in the greatest mental health (getting markedly better, though), so I don't want to rope another person into my personal honeysuckle slurry of a life.

Sorry. I sort of just spilled my guts, but that's what this place is here for right?

 

[jd7]

Sorry. I sort of just spilled my guts, but that's what this place is here for right?

Yep. Good job, by the way! . Sounds like you took care of business...

 

[FauxReaL]

Sorry. I sort of just spilled my guts, but that's what this place is here for right?

Yep. Good job, by the way! . Sounds like you took care of business...

Lol. Yeah. I think I got lil more swagger than I give myself credit for. That girl was too good for me.
...eh. There was a lot about that that I left out. Primarily what happened afterward. We had a major falling out. I won't get into it, though. Off topic.

 

[Minty]

Men generally don't approach me, like ever.

I'm comfortable with this, it's always been this way.

Same here. The only guys that approach me are drunk and it's the end of the night.

The normal, sober, lovely guys that I have a laugh with, good conversation with and think I am making a connection with, always end up asking me for my friends number

I did ask a guy out once. He said no. I never bothered again.

 

[ardour]

I did ask a guy out once. He said no. I never bothered again.

Turned down once so you didn't bother again, as if it were some great slight against you that you could never be expected to recover from. No offence but I have to laugh at that. It reveals an entitled attitude in my opinion, especially when you consider that most of the advice men receive boils down to persisting through rejection after rejection