Women who aren't afraid to pursue and what men REALLY think about them.

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ardour said:
Minty said:
I did ask a guy out once. He said no. I never bothered again.

Turned down once so you didn't bother again, as if it were some great slight against you that you could never be expected to recover from. No offence but I have to laugh at that. It reveals an entitled attitude in my opinion, especially when you consider that most of the advice men receive boils down persisting through rejection after rejection.

o_O

I think you're reading too much into it, Ardour.
 
ardour said:
Minty said:
I did ask a guy out once. He said no. I never bothered again.

Turned down once so you didn't bother again, as if it were some great slight against you that you could never be expected to recover from. No offence but I have to laugh at that. It reveals an entitled attitude in my opinion, especially when you consider that most of the advice men receive boils down to persisting through rejection after rejection

I once attempted to ask a girl to dance I liked, she turned me down I never asked a girl again, I let them ask me. And women are encouraged to get back out there after rejection. If there is any "entitled attitude" going on I suggest you read your own posts first. You keep coming around with this attitude against women and just got off a ban for your remarks, next time it will be longer so knock it off.
 
Sci-Fi said:
I once attempted to ask a girl to dance I liked, she turned me down I never asked a girl again, I let them ask me. And women are encouraged to get back out there after rejection. If there is any "entitled attitude" going on I suggest you read your own posts first. You keep coming around with this attitude against women and just got off a ban for your remarks, next time it will be longer so knock it off.

I've never implied I was entitled to romantic attention if that's what you're suggesting.

The idea men will think women promiscuous if they pursue is an anachronism imo, at least over here. Being drunken and flirty in a bar might come across that way, but generally no, guys I know wouldn't assume a woman had low self-esteem because she initiated. It would be nice if women would take the initiative a bit more often since that creates a "safe space" to return the interest. And if there is no interest then something like "sorry but I don't feel that way about you" is all I'd feel the need to say since I'm not paranoid about being stalked or assaulted.
 
SophiaGrace said:
o_O

I think you're reading too much into it, Ardour.

^ I agree. =/ I took her meaning differently, but I don't wish to speak for her.

ardour said:
especially when you consider that most of the advice men receive boils down to persisting through rejection after rejection.

Regarding that last comment, that advice is not just reserved for men. Few people have ever advised me after rejections to just give up and stop persisting. The only ones who have said anything like that were men of the opinion that women should not do the pursuing (and even then the advice wasn't to do nothing; they just had different ideas of what women should do to attract and indicate interest).
 
ardour said:
The idea men will think women promiscuous if they pursue is an anachronism imo,

I'm not going to create a debate about this, but I will say that on THIS VERY FORUM, male members have expresses that very opinion. The opinion DOES exist (for some). Again, Im just pointing this out for clarification.


ardour said:
Minty said:
I did ask a guy out once. He said no. I never bothered again.

Turned down once so you didn't bother again, as if it were some great slight against you that you could never be expected to recover from. No offence but I have to laugh at that. It reveals an entitled attitude in my opinion, especially when you consider that most of the advice men receive boils down to persisting through rejection after rejection

Maybe she didn't feel "entitled." Maybe she felt the same thing that anyone else (men and women) feel when they get rejected. Maybe she simply doesn't want to endure that again. I certainly don't see that she exhibits an entitled attitude, based on this single response.
 
If it wasn't for aggressive women, I'm pretty sure I'd still be a virgin.

(...exuberantly thanks all the aggressive women of the world...)

Thank you, for Deflowering me.
 
I'm yet to introduce myself on this forum but I figure that since I'm here perusing this thread, I may as well chime in as well.

Personally, I love the idea of women pursuing.

It's funny how easy it is to say that despite the fact that it's not something I've ever really genuinely experienced before. Well, that's not completely true, I did have a couple of girls who 'asked me out' during high school, but something tells me that it's not the same thing as what's being discussed here and, besides, I can't be certain that these two girls from school were literally interested anyway thanks to bullying experiences and so on. In my adult life, no one has ever expressed interest. I suppose it's possible that somebody may have been interested -- you never know until you know, right? -- over the years but I certainly didn't know about it. The circumstances that have defined my past decade or so (I'm 27) haven't helped matters either but that's a topic for another day.

Back to the thread, in theory I would love it if a girl showed interest or indeed initiated something. Depression, low self-esteem, and hardly any confidence in one's self only breeds a belief -- whose accuracy (or not in most cases) is almost irrelevant when dealing with such things -- that it's either unlikely or impossible for someone, anyone, to be interested; someone expressing interest instantly erodes that and obviously boosts the self-esteem at the same time. I know I could use that from time to time, just as I'm sure all of you could.

Since my limited experience limits me in what I can say, instead let me briefly talk about the way the Australian culture seems to deal with this subject.

Basically, I don't think we care as a society as to who initiates or chases. Instead I think we're more concerned, in a good way, with the end result, be that an in-depth relationship or a one night stand. Obviously sometimes there are still instances where people think or expect the male to court the female, but generally speaking I think our laid back nature means we are more open to anyone initiating or chasing. But again, my experiences or lack thereof restrict my ability to truly know what it's like. I could be completely wrong. That's my two cents.

Guess I should go introduce myself now, huh?
 

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