Do you guys feel like you are dependent on online friendships?

I feel like I do.

And I feel like I need to change that. I can look forward to chatting with people online but I know they won't be here forever and I can't live my whole life on the Internet. Does anyone here feel trapped like me? Like you want to go out there and make great friednships but its just not happening? In the past few months, I've been attending a lot of social gatherings from meetup but I feel like it's not going anywhere. Should I be more bold in my approach? Like for example, a lady tells me "Oh we have a a, b, c group" on Monday, then I don't feel like going because I kind of know who's going already and they're the same people and I feel they are kind of groupie.

Where else can I make friends? Volunteer places are mostly business like and not the friendship type. Tried that too.

What do I do?

You're doing yourself more harm than good by discounting friends just because you only communicate via the internet. Friendship is friendship. I work seven days a week, from morning to night, and I'm a single mom. If not for the internet, I'd have no means of contact with the outside world. It's been a year since I actually hung out with a friend, face-to-face.

Yeah I guess I am. I am trying to break my dependence. Without actually purging it.

Online friendships can always go further and develop into real life friendships. Yes, depending on where these friends are located in relation to you will sometimes cause a problem, but it's not insurmountable. Last year, a friend I met online that lives 7 hours away from me, drove up here and stayed with me for a week, we'll be getting together again this year sometime as well, so while it's not the same as having a friend where you live, it's still a friend. We talk on the phone and text each other. I also have friends I met online that are invaluable to me, that live further away and really have no chance of meeting right now or anytime in the near future. I guess my point is that even though you met online, that doesn't mean that they can't be a vital part of your life
However, that said, it's also rather important to have friends where you are. Me, personally, I don't have many where I live and really the ones I have are the "only there when they want something or you go to them" type.
Okay, to get back to you and off of me... wow, sorry bout that. As far as the groups that feel groupie to you, yeah, they may seem set in their ways and friends already, but that doesn't mean you couldn't become a part of that group. Anywhere you go there will be friends already made and it's more or less up to you to penetrate their group and become a part of them. I don't know what kind of volunteering you are looking at, but I would think that a soup kitchen or something like habitat for humanity or something like would be more likely to help create friendships than other types. Or even maybe walks and races to help charities.
Take something you enjoy and see if you can find others that enjoy the same thing, maybe take a class to learn something you think you may enjoy or a class to further educate yourself on something you already enjoy. Join a book club if you enjoy reading or something along those lines.

i am very dependant on online friendships pity i only have 2 online friends but i have 0 offline friends so its slightly better

Nope

I'm moving in with someone from another city hundreds of mile away. Met him twice. First played games online for years. Having online friendships is great and I have 3-5 guys that I will never forget, and that I hope I will be long time friends with. Many people do get dependent, and its not a good thing. Get out there, vibe with people. Don't try to prove yourself, just laugh and smile and keep the conversation nice and easy.

I've met lifelong friendships, slept with a fair few women and literally and unambiguously saved lives thanks to people that I have met online. I do not distinguish between 'online' or 'offline' at all, nor do I think it makes any sense to; the medium should not change the nature of the friendship, it is saying that my attitude toward 'phone friendships' should be different from 'face to face friendships.'

It doesn't. People are still people, in all their beauty and ugliness. One can certainly mourn the lack of a local friend to help you when you're moving, but that's distinct from the medium of how you met.

beans said:

I feel like I do.

And I feel like I need to change that. I can look forward to chatting with people online but I know they won't be here forever and I can't live my whole life on the Internet. Does anyone here feel trapped like me? Like you want to go out there and make great friednships but its just not happening? In the past few months, I've been attending a lot of social gatherings from meetup but I feel like it's not going anywhere. Should I be more bold in my approach? Like for example, a lady tells me "Oh we have a a, b, c group" on Monday, then I don't feel like going because I kind of know who's going already and they're the same people and I feel they are kind of groupie.

Where else can I make friends? Volunteer places are mostly business like and not the friendship type. Tried that too.

What do I do?

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When you know that you doing this wrong then you should change this as soon as possible,because once you get addicted it will be very hard for you. Online friends will not always be with you so it is better that you make and find some friends around you whom you can meet and share everything.

lopez01scott said:

When you know that you doing this wrong then you should change this as soon as possible,because once you get addicted it will be very hard for you. Online friends will not always be with you so it is better that you make and find some friends around you whom you can meet and share everything.

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Neither, will that matter, will local friends.

I'm not dependent on them, but I do value the friendships that I have.

Yes I do.

I once did.

I just decided to unplug the computer one day and experience immersing myself in real life for a week, it was strange. I started using the internet daily again since then but I try to minimise my use of it where I can, and use it more as a tool for my benefit, rather than a socialising machine.

In general: no, I don't. I really don't mind being alone and I hardly ever let anyone in my life.
But I did make a mistake of getting too attached/used/dependent on someone on internet. And now I'm paying the price for it.

Edit: But I really should make an effort to make some friends. Both online and offline ones.

I know that it's late reply, but why not. I have rather good experience of foreign language classes. Maybe it could work for you.

I'm neither dependent on real life friendships or online friendships.

Totally.

I have 2 online friends from the Netherlands who I've never met in RL, but still consider my best friends. They're mostly gaming buddies in practice, however, and I can't really talk to them about my life.

I have (had?) one really great female friend that I had met in RL, but she lived in a different country. She was kind of my confidante, but she's since got a BF and doesn't have time for me any more

As a result I feel like I've kind of got a void in my social relationships right now, and it really hurts sometimes actually.

TheSolitaryMan said:

I have 2 online friends from the Netherlands who I've never met in RL, but still consider my best friends. They're mostly gaming buddies in practice, however, and I can't really talk to them about my life.

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I'm the same. I'd say my best friends are both girls I've never met. One lives in the US and we met online though we've sent each other letters and presents The other is a girl from Norway who I met pen palling but we now keep in touch online.

I used to have loads of really good friends I just wrote to. Its a shame the Internet has kind of killed that off because a chunky letter on my doormat was SO much better than a message in my inbox...

beans said:

I feel like I do.

And I feel like I need to change that. I can look forward to chatting with people online but I know they won't be here forever and I can't live my whole life on the Internet. Does anyone here feel trapped like me? Like you want to go out there and make great friednships but its just not happening? In the past few months, I've been attending a lot of social gatherings from meetup but I feel like it's not going anywhere. Should I be more bold in my approach? Like for example, a lady tells me "Oh we have a a, b, c group" on Monday, then I don't feel like going because I kind of know who's going already and they're the same people and I feel they are kind of groupie.

Where else can I make friends? Volunteer places are mostly business like and not the friendship type. Tried that too.

What do I do?

Click to expand...

I've posted some articles in the Social Problems
forum if you haven't seen them already.

I have some online friends too who play video games with and we talk and stuff like everyday, but in real life I have zero friends at all. Think I am too reliant on online friends as well. On one hand, it keeps me from feeling worse at least having people to talk to, but online friends feel a bit fake since you cannot interact with them in real life.