A Lonely Life: A Memoir

[Matt]

Simple thread. I'll start a story, and everyone continue it with each successive post. Try to make this a "real" story, rather than just some jumbled mess of random literary chaos.

The story ends with post 100. So whoever makes the 100th post - make sure it's a satisfying ending!

That said, here it goes:


A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

 

[NeverMore]

A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

-move to California where I knew I would have the best opportunity to find a job and to try and live on my own, the problem was getting there... I had enough bus fare to get me half of the way to LA, so I hopped on a Grey hound and rode it all the way to a town called Canyon Peak where I met-

 

[Kristen]

A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

-move to California where I knew I would have the best opportunity to find a job and to try and live on my own, the problem was getting there... I had enough bus fare to get me half of the way to LA, so I hopped on a Grey hound and rode it all the way to a town called Canyon Peak where I met-

Clark from Smallvile. He said that I can take on some of his owsoame powers and fly to LA on my broom only if I got off crack , so I said :"so long pal.." and---

 

[Matt]

A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

-move to California where I knew I would have the best opportunity to find a job and to try and live on my own, the problem was getting there... I had enough bus fare to get me half of the way to LA, so I hopped on a Grey hound and rode it all the way to a town called Canyon Peak where I met-

Clark from Smallvile. He said that I can take on some of his owsoame powers and fly to LA on my broom only if I got off crack , so I said :"so long pal.." and---

Instead headed south to Mexico. As I approached the desert, -

 

[NeverMore]

A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

-move to California where I knew I would have the best opportunity to find a job and to try and live on my own, the problem was getting there... I had enough bus fare to get me half of the way to LA, so I hopped on a Grey hound and rode it all the way to a town called Canyon Peak where I met-

Clark from Smallvile. He said that I can take on some of his owsoame powers and fly to LA on my broom only if I got off crack , so I said :"so long pal.." and---

Instead headed south to Mexico. As I approached the desert, -

-I noticed that my broom was running low on magic crack rocks, so I booked it all the way to Mexico where I landed in-

 

[diamond-dancer]

...a huge pool of mucus. It was disgusting! Where did all this mucus come from, anyway? All of a sudden I heard a loud roar. I turned around, and that's when I saw it. Staring at me with ill intent was an enormous...

 

[Kristen]

A Lonely Life

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days - chilling out, relaxing, and maxin' all cool; all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school - when a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in my neighborhood! I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, so she took a machete and butchered them, and now she's facing manslaughter charges and I've got nowhere to go, because my dad walked out on the family when I was only six. As a young adult with just a bit of cash in my possession, I decided to -

(your turn)

-move to California where I knew I would have the best opportunity to find a job and to try and live on my own, the problem was getting there... I had enough bus fare to get me half of the way to LA, so I hopped on a Grey hound and rode it all the way to a town called Canyon Peak where I met-

Clark from Smallvile. He said that I can take on some of his owsoame powers and fly to LA on my broom only if I got off crack , so I said :"so long pal.." and---

Instead headed south to Mexico. As I approached the desert, -

-I noticed that my broom was running low on magic crack rocks, so I booked it all the way to Mexico where I landed in-

...a huge pool of mucus. It was disgusting! Where did all this mucus come from, anyway? All of a sudden I heard a loud roar. I turned around, and that's when I saw it. Staring at me with ill intent was an enormous...

"Men In Black" smashing the huge ellien cocaroach and his green guts were all over me, when I woke up from coma in a psychiatric facility with head concussions, the crazy lunatics in white robes said I had an out of body experience , I didnt believe them and ----

 

[NeverMore]

-reached out and punched the nearest one in the face...After they tasered me a couple times, they gave me some pills to take that made me feel all happy, I took this new happiness to the streets where I-

 

[evanescencefan91]

started a jazz band and panhandled a good sum of money in an myserious alleyway, where we happened to meet an even more mysterious stranger in a dark cloak, who said he liked our style and invited us to the library were he would treat us to some terraki chicken

 

[toxic-tears]

-with a lot of sauce. i look at him and he smiles back. i was feeling cloud nine when our eyes meets. my head runs with illusion of him being with me someday. My friend shacks my shoulder and she point her lips. I ran my lips with my fingers and found my lips drolling with saliva. I quickly ran to the restroom and.......

 

[Kristen]

and jacked off, but I still remebered that my dreams in LA are the most impo things to me and that Clark from Smallvile urged me to fly there no meter what, I looked for my good old broom that I bought in HomeDepot, it was no where to be found I totally freaked out and made a terrible mistake of my life , I---

 

[evanescencefan91]

then got back in the moment with some cold water on the face. Using my super secret hair gel formula that is neatly conceled in my pant leg, i pulled some dasteredly dangerous hand gestures around my head and in an instant.

I looked good.

Which was more than good because conviently every friday night the library is miraciously transformed into an 80s disco bar and and i was more than ready to get my moves on after a few well placed mgs of Vicodin.

i took a deep breath and vomited once again, so i popped a tic-tac, and went back out praying i looked half as cool as i felt.

 

[NeverMore]

But I don't think I did because my hair gel had an adverse reaction with my hair and it turned into an afro, which I thought was strangely fitting for the 80's disco bar.. As I walked in a saw a fine dude sitting in the corner all by himself, I walked over and

 

[evanescencefan91]

I froze I couldn't thhink of any thing to say to him i was just about in a panic, when a rave song came on full blast and i forgot about the guy and everything, i forgot the whole world.

I just shook it and shook it like a maniac-actually that was the song that was playing, but i couldn't care less, because on my side view i noticed a man in his late 20s and besides being super pimp happen to be stlying a snow white afro, well at first i was shocked. Nice afro he said to me, thanks not as nice as yours i replyed while swallowing the excess vomit that had come up in my mouth.

I couldn't resist but to..

 

[Kristen]

ask Michael Jackson what powder he used on his make up to look like the most beautiful snow white princess I ever seen. Just when I asked the pop king for a dance the king of rock-n-roll teped me on my shoulder and offered some green pills for vomiting so that I don't mess up his blue swade shoes. And I was like:"yo, Elvis, thanks bro!".Elvis said he grew it in the back yard of his Graceland mansion and I could come by any time to chill and grill some hot dogs with him. Also since he was there already I said:"Elvis, I heard u was a cool dude, u see my broom? How'bout one of them cadillac's man you got there parked..". He was awsome, I hopped in behind the wheel of "convertible-merceder benz - cadillac-lamborghini " and---

 

[Borne Hopeless]

turned to page 78. "Wow!", I thought to myself. "This choose your own adventure book is really good! But what am I doing sitting inside reading a book at 4PM on a Saturday afternoon? I should be out skating, smoking weed, and punching cops in the back of the head like a normal adolescent!" So I got high, grabbed my board, and headed to my favorite skate spot. On the way there, I found a stray cat. He was pretty dirty, and looked homeless. I felt bad for him, so I scooped him up. He looked like he could use a name. "Pet," I said out loud. "That's your last name. And your first name shall be Harry." Well, the last thing a stray cat needs is to be left wandering around. So I decided to take him home, but on the way--

 

[toxic-tears]

--i saw a guy on my front house. he was staring at me.. i approched him and asked him what he wants. he told me that the cat that i saw was his. i gave the cat to him back. two days after, a young lady appoached me and smile. and begin thanking me for bringing back a cat. i wonder about the cat that i saw two nights ago..

then i saw my bestfriend, he walk towards my direction with some stuff on his two hands-------

 

[Kristen]

those were another two stray cats. I was like:"yo, wtf...are u carrying them around for spreading lice and flees overhere near my crib?" With all these crazy people and their cats and the bar and Elvis I totally forgot why I was trying to get to LA in the first place. So I hopped into my brand new "convertible-merceder benz - cadillac-lamborghini" and was on my way to LA as I pulled up at the gas station to fill up my trunk or whatever I saw this cawboy on a horse, so I asked what state I was in, he looked mad or sad or high or drunk or whatever and said:"

 

[armor4sleepPA]

"Son, I reckon you've landed yourself in the great state of Alabama. But, you ought to know we have a rule 'round these parts about sportin' afros and riding crack-rock powered brooms disguised as cadillacl lamborghinis."

Perplexed, I responded, "I'm just trying to find my god father, because if he's rich, perhaps he could support me in realizing my truest dream, which is to open the world's first fully automatic chocolate covered hotdog flavored cappucino bar. Do you think there's a market for such an establishment in this area?"

The sad, high, drunk looking man stared at me as if I was some strange vomit-scented afro-wearing freak straight out of a discoteque. He pulled out some chewing tobacco, stuffed it in the corner of his mouth, and...

 

[Kristen]

said:"ya, wonna roll a blunt, my son?" (and even though I've never rolled tobacco in my life I smell some hydro pot in the corner of his mouth..I'm shocked, how can this be...but who knows what cawboys plant these days)No, you dumb old dope pusher, I'm thinking to myself, but sensing some evil foul play in his bloody eyes, I said:"No,I do not, my dear father, I'm good..I shell leave u now, peace out". I grabed a Heineken in brown paper bag and I was out of the estranged station in the middle of nowhere I was back on the road to LA from Alabama. I'm drinking my beer and steering my wheel, I turn on the radio station "Alabama "most wanted list" breaking news" and I hear: