Another rude craigslist reply -Well you guys ne the judge

[Restless soul]

Thanks vanilla

Sorry. I didn't get that feeling from her. That she was being

' constructive in any way. And I am pretty good at getting a read off people. And if she wasz she did a pretty crappy job at it.

 

[Restless soul]

Constructive criticism would be more like.

"Hey, you look so serious you should smile I bet its very nice"
Actually that is not really constructive criticism. But that is a better way to express oneself. No. Do not give any criticism to someone you dont know bottom line. Not her place. I already know a smile might come off better.

There is a saying it goes. " if you got nothing nice to say, say nothing " that is what she should have done!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Constructive criticism would be more like.

"Hey, you look so serious you should smile I bet its very nice"
Actually that is not really constructive criticism. But that is a better way to express oneself. No. Do not give any criticism to someone you dont know bottom line. Not her place. I already know a smile might come off better.

There is a saying it goes. " if you got nothing nice to say, say nothing " that is what she should have done!

That would be your idea of constructive criticism.  Not everyone has the same idea.  You want to take it badly, so you are, because you can only see things from your perspective. 

No, she doesn't know you, but I'm sorry, when you put yourself out there, especially on a place like craigslist, you are going to hear things you don't want to hear.  No one is obligated to be nice to you and no one is obligated to make sure you don't get your feelings hurt.  If you don't want to see it as rude....don't.  It's as simple as that.

 

[Restless soul]

Thanks callie. Not very understanding this time around are you?
Yes. It was rude. Not even a question of being overly sensitive.
You don't say that. Many others have agreed with me already on here.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm understanding just fine, thanks. I don't find it rude at all. No she didn't HAVE to say it, but lots of things don't HAVE to be said. That doesn't mean it's rude.
You don't know the person, you don't know her intentions behind what she said. I don't care how well you "read" people, that doesn't mean you know why they say everything they say. Especially when you seem to be looking for rudeness.

 

[Restless soul]

Ok..its not rude. She is just an immature idiot. Happy?
All you have to donis reverse it.
You send someone a photo. " you look scary" or whatevr else sje added. Hello??? It's not funny. Not cute.

 

[Restless soul]

Um..where we getting at here?

Doesn't matter her intentions. Especially if she cannot express herself properly. If I knew the person it is way different. Don't know them. Will always sound a bit rude.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Just for the record, I didn't find it rude either. Unnecessary, sure. Crime of the year? No. She could have not said it, but she did, because she's entitled to have her own opinion, too. Just because someone doesn't like it, doesn't mean they aren't capable of having one.

Smile anyway. I'm sure you look nice with a smile.

 

[Restless soul]

Awww. So sweet vanilla.

 

[Restless soul]

Anyway, I can't believe I am writing another post related to my looks. Or just being insecure.  But I am glad I have this place to vent and get feedback.

So here is what happpend in a nutshell. I Send someone a photo which I think is ok. Yes, I am not smiling. Yes, I look too serious. But her reply was something like. " you look scary"
" you should send smiles" first of all tell someone they look scary? How is that not being rude? And she was condescending in the way she said show it to others. See what they say. Wtf? I never do that. If I dont  like someones photo I don't highly critique it. Especially when I do not know them from adam.

Any thoughts? Agree? Do I need a thicker skin ( duh )
But all replies welcome

It's not about having a thicker skin ... you can't magically grow thicker skin.

Try to look at it slightly differently ... her comment was just noise generated by someone's brain. Do we really need to take others' opinions that seriously ? How important is this person's comment to you ?

When a 5 yr old tells you, "You're a poopoohead !", do you take that seriously ?

Who cares what this chick thinks about your photo or about ***anything*** ?

What do they say ? Opinions are like a$$ho!!es ... everybody's got one.

BTW, I fully agree with you and DarkSelene about smiles in pictures ... I almost NEVER smile in pictures, unless it just happens automatically.

Hi som. But that is just what a thicker skin means not caring.
Letting things roll off your back. Obviously I don't or else I wouldn't post. But your example of a 5 year old vs an adult woman is a little different espeacially with someone with a fragile ego, poor self image. Because you start questioning if evryone might  think negative of that photo or you when not smiling.

 

[Somnambulist]

Anyway, I can't believe I am writing another post related to my looks. Or just being insecure.  But I am glad I have this place to vent and get feedback.

So here is what happpend in a nutshell. I Send someone a photo which I think is ok. Yes, I am not smiling. Yes, I look too serious. But her reply was something like. " you look scary"
" you should send smiles" first of all tell someone they look scary? How is that not being rude? And she was condescending in the way she said show it to others. See what they say. Wtf? I never do that. If I dont  like someones photo I don't highly critique it. Especially when I do not know them from adam.

Any thoughts? Agree? Do I need a thicker skin ( duh )
But all replies welcome

It's not about having a thicker skin ... you can't magically grow thicker skin.

Try to look at it slightly differently ... her comment was just noise generated by someone's brain. Do we really need to take others' opinions that seriously ? How important is this person's comment to you ?

When a 5 yr old tells you, "You're a poopoohead !", do you take that seriously ?

Who cares what this chick thinks about your photo or about ***anything*** ?

What do they say ? Opinions are like a$$ho!!es ... everybody's got one.

BTW, I fully agree with you and DarkSelene about smiles in pictures ... I almost NEVER smile in pictures, unless it just happens automatically.

Hi som. But that is just what a thicker skin means not caring.
Letting things roll off your back. Obviously I don't or else I wouldn't post. But your example of a 5 year old vs an adult woman is a little different espeacially with someone with a fragile ego, poor self image. Because you start questioning if evryone might  think negative of that photo or you when not smiling.

I have heard that same comment about my pictures. It used to bug the honeysuckle out of me, till I realized that everyone out there is just echoing, like a puppet, the "rule" that one must be smiling in a photograph, and that that doesn't mean honeysuckle to me, because I like to capture whatever emotion or state I am feeling at the time the picture is taken. If that means a long face and wrinkles, fine.

I'm a non-conformist and so, disagreeing with people is as natural to me as breathing air ... and consequently, so is being alone.

If you really wanna please others and get positive feedback, then go ahead and take a different picture in which you are smiling. Problem solved, right ?

What I said about the opinion of this girl not mattering is something I learned from listening to Eckhart Tolle (a spiritual teacher), and have confirmed from 33 years of life experience. Scientists claim that, as a result of our conditioning, through schooling and media and culture, and because the brain is like a gland that constantly "secretes" thoughts, 98% of our thought activity is completely repetitive, unoriginal, and pointless. We then spit these thoughts out as spoken words or actions. It doesn't matter whether you're an adult or child. In fact, a child's thoughts are way fresher or more original than an adult's thoughts, because children aren't as conditioned yet. We are puppets of our conditioning.

Anyway, this girl who responded to your photo was likely just regurgitating the universal rule that one must smile in a photo, along with a little (thoughtless) slap to your ego - "you look scary". To me, that means very little, if anything. If I'm satisfied with a picture I posted, then that's the best picture of me that anyone is going to see. Period. If someone doesn't like it, ok, move on to the next person.

And again, if you want a different outcome, try changing the picture (or the person to whom it is showed) till you get one. Either way, I don't see the problem.

 

[Restless soul]

Anyway, I can't believe I am writing another post related to my looks. Or just being insecure.  But I am glad I have this place to vent and get feedback.

So here is what happpend in a nutshell. I Send someone a photo which I think is ok. Yes, I am not smiling. Yes, I look too serious. But her reply was something like. " you look scary"
" you should send smiles" first of all tell someone they look scary? How is that not being rude? And she was condescending in the way she said show it to others. See what they say. Wtf? I never do that. If I dont  like someones photo I don't highly critique it. Especially when I do not know them from adam.

Any thoughts? Agree? Do I need a thicker skin ( duh )
But all replies welcome

It's not about having a thicker skin ... you can't magically grow thicker skin.

Try to look at it slightly differently ... her comment was just noise generated by someone's brain. Do we really need to take others' opinions that seriously ? How important is this person's comment to you ?

When a 5 yr old tells you, "You're a poopoohead !", do you take that seriously ?

Who cares what this chick thinks about your photo or about ***anything*** ?

What do they say ? Opinions are like a$$ho!!es ... everybody's got one.

BTW, I fully agree with you and DarkSelene about smiles in pictures ... I almost NEVER smile in pictures, unless it just happens automatically.

Hi som. But that is just what a thicker skin means not caring.
Letting things roll off your back. Obviously I don't or else I wouldn't post. But your example of a 5 year old vs an adult woman is a little different espeacially with someone with a fragile ego, poor self image. Because you start questioning if evryone might  think negative of that photo or you when not smiling.

I have heard that same comment about my pictures. It used to bug the honeysuckle out of me, till I realized that everyone out there is just echoing, like a puppet, the "rule" that one must be smiling in a photograph, and that that doesn't mean honeysuckle to me, because I like to capture whatever emotion or state I am feeling at the time the picture is taken. If that means a long face and wrinkles, fine.

I'm a non-conformist and so, disagreeing with people is as natural to me as breathing air ... and consequently, so is being alone.

If you wanna please others and get positive feedback, then go ahead and take a different picture in which you are smiling. Problem solved, right ?

What I said about the opinion of this girl not mattering is something I learned from listening to Eckhart Tolle (a spiritual teacher), and have confirmed from 33 years of life experience. Scientists claim that, as a result of our conditioning, through schooling and media and culture, and because the brain is like a gland that constantly "secretes" thoughts, 98% of our thought activity is completely repetitive, unoriginal, and pointless. We then spit these thoughts out as spoken words or actions. It doesn't matter whether you're an adult or child. In fact, a child's thoughts are way fresher or more original than an adult's thoughts, because children aren't as conditioned yet. We are puppets of our conditioning.

Anyway, this girl who responded to your photo was likely just regurgitating the universal rule that one must smile in a photo, along with a little slap to your ego - "you look scary". To me, that means very little, if anything. If I'm satisfied with a picture I posted, then that's the best picture of me that anyone is going to see. Period. If someone doesn't like it, ok, move on to the next person.

Oh, no. So now you started a whole new issue. So ifna child. What age we are taking here by the way? Says I am scary or ugly? Should that mean anything since you say they are more original and fresh? I am being serious right now

 

[Somnambulist]

Anyway, I can't believe I am writing another post related to my looks. Or just being insecure.  But I am glad I have this place to vent and get feedback.

So here is what happpend in a nutshell. I Send someone a photo which I think is ok. Yes, I am not smiling. Yes, I look too serious. But her reply was something like. " you look scary"
" you should send smiles" first of all tell someone they look scary? How is that not being rude? And she was condescending in the way she said show it to others. See what they say. Wtf? I never do that. If I dont  like someones photo I don't highly critique it. Especially when I do not know them from adam.

Any thoughts? Agree? Do I need a thicker skin ( duh )
But all replies welcome

It's not about having a thicker skin ... you can't magically grow thicker skin.

Try to look at it slightly differently ... her comment was just noise generated by someone's brain. Do we really need to take others' opinions that seriously ? How important is this person's comment to you ?

When a 5 yr old tells you, "You're a poopoohead !", do you take that seriously ?

Who cares what this chick thinks about your photo or about ***anything*** ?

What do they say ? Opinions are like a$$ho!!es ... everybody's got one.

BTW, I fully agree with you and DarkSelene about smiles in pictures ... I almost NEVER smile in pictures, unless it just happens automatically.

Hi som. But that is just what a thicker skin means not caring.
Letting things roll off your back. Obviously I don't or else I wouldn't post. But your example of a 5 year old vs an adult woman is a little different espeacially with someone with a fragile ego, poor self image. Because you start questioning if evryone might  think negative of that photo or you when not smiling.

I have heard that same comment about my pictures. It used to bug the honeysuckle out of me, till I realized that everyone out there is just echoing, like a puppet, the "rule" that one must be smiling in a photograph, and that that doesn't mean honeysuckle to me, because I like to capture whatever emotion or state I am feeling at the time the picture is taken. If that means a long face and wrinkles, fine.

I'm a non-conformist and so, disagreeing with people is as natural to me as breathing air ... and consequently, so is being alone.

If you wanna please others and get positive feedback, then go ahead and take a different picture in which you are smiling. Problem solved, right ?

What I said about the opinion of this girl not mattering is something I learned from listening to Eckhart Tolle (a spiritual teacher), and have confirmed from 33 years of life experience. Scientists claim that, as a result of our conditioning, through schooling and media and culture, and because the brain is like a gland that constantly "secretes" thoughts, 98% of our thought activity is completely repetitive, unoriginal, and pointless. We then spit these thoughts out as spoken words or actions. It doesn't matter whether you're an adult or child. In fact, a child's thoughts are way fresher or more original than an adult's thoughts, because children aren't as conditioned yet. We are puppets of our conditioning.

Anyway, this girl who responded to your photo was likely just regurgitating the universal rule that one must smile in a photo, along with a little slap to your ego - "you look scary". To me, that means very little, if anything. If I'm satisfied with a picture I posted, then that's the best picture of me that anyone is going to see. Period. If someone doesn't like it, ok, move on to the next person.

Oh, no. So now you started a whole new issue. So ifna child. What age we are taking here by the way? Says I am scary or ugly? Should that mean anything since you say they are more original and fresh? I am being serious right now

A child's expressions (facial or spoken or actions) are derived more from the pure joy of being alive and less from conditioning, because the child's brain hasn't been filled with information, the way an adult's brain might have been. Children are more present than adults, for that reason. More in the moment ... less thought, more being.

I'm not saying that everything a child says is to be taken seriously. Just that when a child speaks, often, we see a lot of honesty in the child, because the child has less inhibitions or "morals" or other influences that might make a child lie. And, the reason for that is less conditioning, as I mentioned above.

I'm not saying that children make good judges of a person's face. I'm just saying that when they speak, in general, they are more likely to be telling you how they really feel, or what they really perceive, than an adult, who is more or less a puppet of his/her conditioning.

My reason for bringing up this conditioning stuff is to point out that the girl who commented on your picture likely spit out her comment as a result of her own conditioning. For one thing, she just couldn't get past the fact that you weren't smiling, because there is a universal (and stupid) bias against pictures without a smile.

There is not much objectivity in what she said. Not much originality. She told you something that most of the people on the planet would say. Now, you might give importance to "public opinion" and might say that it matters what they think about your picture. I don't.

Apart from conditioning, how can a judgment of a person's face ever be objective ? By definition, it is entirely subjective. I might think you look like Syd Barret, and you might disagree completely (as we discussed in your other thread).

 

[Restless soul]

It's not about having a thicker skin ... you can't magically grow thicker skin.

Try to look at it slightly differently ... her comment was just noise generated by someone's brain. Do we really need to take others' opinions that seriously ? How important is this person's comment to you ?

When a 5 yr old tells you, "You're a poopoohead !", do you take that seriously ?

Who cares what this chick thinks about your photo or about ***anything*** ?

What do they say ? Opinions are like a$$ho!!es ... everybody's got one.

BTW, I fully agree with you and DarkSelene about smiles in pictures ... I almost NEVER smile in pictures, unless it just happens automatically.

Hi som. But that is just what a thicker skin means not caring.
Letting things roll off your back. Obviously I don't or else I wouldn't post. But your example of a 5 year old vs an adult woman is a little different espeacially with someone with a fragile ego, poor self image. Because you start questioning if evryone might  think negative of that photo or you when not smiling.

I have heard that same comment about my pictures. It used to bug the honeysuckle out of me, till I realized that everyone out there is just echoing, like a puppet, the "rule" that one must be smiling in a photograph, and that that doesn't mean honeysuckle to me, because I like to capture whatever emotion or state I am feeling at the time the picture is taken. If that means a long face and wrinkles, fine.

I'm a non-conformist and so, disagreeing with people is as natural to me as breathing air ... and consequently, so is being alone.

If you wanna please others and get positive feedback, then go ahead and take a different picture in which you are smiling. Problem solved, right ?

What I said about the opinion of this girl not mattering is something I learned from listening to Eckhart Tolle (a spiritual teacher), and have confirmed from 33 years of life experience. Scientists claim that, as a result of our conditioning, through schooling and media and culture, and because the brain is like a gland that constantly "secretes" thoughts, 98% of our thought activity is completely repetitive, unoriginal, and pointless. We then spit these thoughts out as spoken words or actions. It doesn't matter whether you're an adult or child. In fact, a child's thoughts are way fresher or more original than an adult's thoughts, because children aren't as conditioned yet. We are puppets of our conditioning.

Anyway, this girl who responded to your photo was likely just regurgitating the universal rule that one must smile in a photo, along with a little slap to your ego - "you look scary". To me, that means very little, if anything. If I'm satisfied with a picture I posted, then that's the best picture of me that anyone is going to see. Period. If someone doesn't like it, ok, move on to the next person.

Oh, no. So now you started a whole new issue. So ifna child. What age we are taking here by the way? Says I am scary or ugly? Should that mean anything since you say they are more original and fresh? I am being serious right now

A child's expressions (facial or spoken or actions) are derived more from the pure joy of being alive and less from conditioning, because the child's brain hasn't been filled with information, the way an adult's brain might have been. Children are more present than adults, for that reason. More in the moment ... less thought, more being.

I'm not saying that everything a child says is to be taken seriously. Just that when a child speaks, often, we see a lot of honesty in the child, because the child has less inhibitions or "morals" or other influences that might make a child lie. And, the reason for that is less conditioning, as I mentioned above.

I'm not saying that children make good judges of a person's face. I'm just saying that when they speak, in general, they are more likely to be telling you how they really feel, or what they really perceive, than an adult, who is more or less a puppet of his/her conditioning.

My reason for bringing up this conditioning stuff is to point out that the girl who commented on your picture likely spit out her comment as a result of her own conditioning. There is not much objectivity in it.

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

 

[Somnambulist]

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

Thank you, my restless friend

 

[Restless soul]

Not just restelsss...at this point but thanks friend

 

[Restless soul]

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

Thank you, my restless friend

So now that we got that at of the way...any ideas of what I should do tonight?

 

[Somnambulist]

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

Thank you, my restless friend

So now that we got that at of the way...any ideas of what I should do tonight?

Haha, I believe we discussed that topic in your other thread (NYC, right ?).

Why don't you just, seriously, get dressed, head out for a walk downtown ... coffee shops, bookstores, live music, bars. Don't be afraid to start up a conversation when you see an interesting person. I think you really should just get into the habit of saying hi, smiling (hey, in real life, I'm ALL for smiles !), and small talk. Eventually, you'll get comfy doing it. Worked for me. Yeah, you also have to overcome that fear of rejection. You really need to develop that mindset of "Ok, your loss ! On to the next person".

I recently traveled to Portland, OR. All I did there was walk downtown (downtown Portland is highly recommended to any and all), eat at restaurants, do wine tasting, see live music, hop from one bar to the next, drink a lot of wine, say hi to interesting people. And, I did talk to quite a few ! I met more people on that weekend trip than in my 7 years locked up in Santa ******* Barbara.

 

[Restless soul]

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

Thank you, my restless friend

So now that we got that at of the way...any ideas of what I should do tonight?

Haha, I believe we discussed that topic in your other thread (NYC, right ?).

Why don't you just, seriously, get dressed, head out for a walk downtown ... coffee shops, bookstores, live music, bars. Don't be afraid to start up a conversation when you see an interesting person.

I am sure we touched on something like that. But moods my friend moods are powerful. Prevent me from wandering around too long alone.

 

[Somnambulist]

Gotcha som, as always a very well thought out and articulated reply. With a positive twist

Thank you, my restless friend

So now that we got that at of the way...any ideas of what I should do tonight?

Haha, I believe we discussed that topic in your other thread (NYC, right ?).

Why don't you just, seriously, get dressed, head out for a walk downtown ... coffee shops, bookstores, live music, bars. Don't be afraid to start up a conversation when you see an interesting person.

I am sure we touched on something like that. But moods my friend moods are powerful. Prevent me from wandering around too long alone.

Then, how about pizza and a movie