Are you picky when it comes to friends?

[Okiedokes]

And why? Is this a good thing or bad? Or neither.

---

And if you are a girl... do you prefer girl or guy friends? Same to guys... do you prefer guy or girl friends? thx.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I guess I am somewhat picky when it comes to friends.

I am a 26 year old male.
I mostly have older friends (40's-60's).
I have a hard time getting to know people my own age - It seems like they are interesting in things I have little interest in.

I think it's not necessarily a bad things that I am picky. I want my 'friends' to be interesting in more then booze, mindless sex, and partying.
Unfortunately, it is difficult for me to find people my age that are not really all that interested in these things, so I often end up associating with people that are older, and generally more mature or developed as people.

I do wish that I was able to have more friends my age, but what can I do? lower my standards, I suppose.

I actually prefer female friends by a wide margin.
They are much less confrontational, aggressive, competitive, and jealous.
They also tend to be more mature, relaxed, and interesting in conversation.
They are also prettier to look at.

Hope that helps .

 

[Masson]

I wouldn't say I'm picky , as long as you can say more interesting things than what you did yesterday at a party , what are you doing today at a party and what will you do at a party were good. Also I like people that don't take everything serious , I mean yeah when nedded be serious but if its nothing formal or something like that I like people who are more goofy and who can take a more insulting/dirty joke , kind of like bros but without the retarded parts.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I've always had a close circle of friends, when we were 16 we used to hang out in each others houses and this lasted until we were 18. Then we went to Uni and would meet up in the holidays, then a couple moved down to london, a few up north and we'd meet at Christmas. Now I have a couple of Friends I see regular and the others now and then, weddings funerals etc.

Time takes it's toll on a friendship circle, I still consider them great friends and would be there for them if they needed me at the drop of a hat but people move away and your circle of immediate friends who you can spend time with can diminish over time.

I made new friends along the way of course but none seem to stick like the ones I made growing up. I wonder what would become of me if the 2 I still hang around with suddenly upped sticks and left town, I'd be stuffed!

 

[Okiedokes]

It's crappy when old friends leave or you have to leave them. Growing up I had pretty much only girls for friends and then in highschool I made a few guy friends. I don't know which is better honestly, they both can be great. Seems like I fear disapointment or not being liked by girls though..which probably gets in the way of making new gal friends. I wonder how common that is..

 

[The Good Citizen]

I have a couple of very close, old friends who are female. I think the best way to qualify them as such is that I don't really notice them as female anymore!

 

[Sci-Fi]

Not really, I probably should be but oh well. I like female friends better, you can talk to them about stuff and the don't look at you like your balls dropped off.

 

[Lost Drifter]

It's crappy when old friends leave or you have to leave them. Growing up I had pretty much only girls for friends and then in highschool I made a few guy friends. I don't know which is better honestly, they both can be great. Seems like I fear disapointment or not being liked by girls though..which probably gets in the way of making new gal friends. I wonder how common that is..

Since I grew up with four sisters I find it a lot easier talking with women more than men, not that there should be much of a difference, but for the most part I just don’t see women as being some alien entity that requires special treatment other than the usual respect and courtesy that I would extend to everyone. Most men seem to hate this however.

I’d actually like to have some male friends but am put off by the amount of bitchy comments that I receive from them whenever they see me talking to women. I’m either labelled a pervert for talking to women (even though nothing sexual is going on) or get called gay for talking but not sleeping with them, I just can’t seem to win either way! Plus I’m just not into most (perceived) male interests; I don’t care about cars, sports, trash talking women or drinking and certainly don’t feel the need to swagger around in a desperate bid to establish some pathetic sense of dominance. I’m the captain of my own ship and no-one else is of my concern, I don’t need to control or lord over others.

You’d also be surprised by how many women have complained about me not having those traits, I have a very masculine appearance but because I don’t act like how they expect a man to act (there is a whole other issue on gender stereotyping and pigeonholing going on here) they in turn don’t know how to react to me. Heaven forbid they actually treat me like an individual and how rude of me for not wanting to sleep with every woman I meet but ironically those same women will then go on to complain about how all men are the same jerks. It’s another no win situation.

Bottom Line: give me a friend who shares common interests over a narrow-minded idiot who may or may not possess the same genitals as I do any day of the week.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I’d actually like to have some male friends but am put off by the amount of bitchy comments that I receive from them whenever they see me talking to women. I’m either labelled a pervert for talking to women (even though nothing sexual is going on) or get called gay for talking but not sleeping with them, I just can’t seem to win either way! Plus I’m just not into most (perceived) male interests; I don’t care about cars, sports, trash talking women or drinking and certainly don’t feel the need to swagger around in a desperate bid to establish some pathetic sense of dominance. I’m the captain of my own ship and no-one else is of my concern, I don’t need to control or lord over others.

You’d also be surprised by how many women have complained about me not having those traits, I have a very masculine appearance but because I don’t act like how they expect a man to act (there is a whole other issue on gender stereotyping and pigeonholing going on here) they in turn don’t know how to react to me. Heaven forbid they actually treat me like an individual and how rude of me for not wanting to sleep with every woman I meet but ironically those same women will then go on to complain about how all men are the same jerks. It’s another no win situation.

This is really interesting!
(no sarcasm, honestly).

So, you have met women that have complained about you not being a beer-guzzling, car-racing, sport-watching manly-man, and then complain that you don't act like a man to them, and are not promiscuous?

You know, I think it might be because you are just a hunk, and they don't want to go through the process of holding you in intelligent conversation (difficult) to hold you in bed (probably quite nice) .

 

[Peter Lorre]

I'm not very picky, I just enjoy 'pleasant' people.

Basically it all boils down to this: if you're not a 'jerk' then you can be my friend.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Im not overly picky about making new friends - but Im somewhat picky about the ones I STAY friends with. Sometimes, once you really get to know a person, you find that they arent the kind of person that you really want to be around.

 

[Lost Drifter]

This is really interesting!
(no sarcasm, honestly).

So, you have met women that have complained about you not being a beer-guzzling, car-racing, sport-watching manly-man, and then complain that you don't act like a man to them, and are not promiscuous?

You know, I think it might be because you are just a hunk, and they don't want to go through the process of holding you in intelligent conversation (difficult) to hold you in bed (probably quite nice) .

I think it’s more a case of people (and from both genders) not being able to cope with someone who exists outside of their limited mindset.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I think it’s more a case of people (and from both genders) not being able to cope with someone who exists outside of their limited mindset.

And here I was hoping it was a simple case of awesome-tude.
Augh. Well, there are good women, and they are everywhere.

Perhaps you should 'shop' for a lady in a place that better suits your tastes?
Say, literary clubs, casual classes, or the like?

 

[Sci-Fi]

I’m either labelled a pervert for talking to women (even though nothing sexual is going on) or get called gay for talking but not sleeping with them...Plus I’m just not into most (perceived) male interests; I don’t care about cars, sports, trash talking women or drinking and certainly don’t feel the need to swagger around in a desperate bid to establish some pathetic sense of dominance.

Isn't that the truth. That pretty much sums up the bullying I endured throughout high school because I don't exhibit those traits either. I have more female friends than male friends. My part time employee exhibits those traits though, but even he prefers to have female friends because they talk. Guys just go "what's up" "not much" "cool" and that's the extent of it. LOL

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I'm not picky about my friends, but they seem picky about me!

I've had 3 best friends and all have pretty much drifted away over time. I've tried everything I can to stay friends with them, but they're just not interested I guess.

I don't think I've ever had a proper friend who cares about me and wants to do social things with me. Just people who mention that they think I'm "cool", "nice" or "sweet", but otherwise don't bother with me.

Perfect example was a Friday evening recently - everyone I knew was going out (though I didn't know where), and not one person bothered to so much as mention it to me, because I'd outlived my purpose as someone who helps them out.

Much in the way I've never had a girlfriend, but lots of girls randomly tell me I "deserve" a decent one.

So I guess it's in human nature to humour someone when you have no actual intention of getting to know them better? I don't know, but all the effort I've put into friendships in the past has always been rather pointless.

So I don't work too hard on them these days

 

[crowtching tiger]

I see a continuous trend of hatred towards dudes that like to party, drink beer, and just be a man. Okay, I am a human being as well! Okay, just 'cause I go to bed at 3 in the morning and wake up at 3 the next day doesn't make me any different!!

 

[Lost for now]

Kind of, yes.

I have mostly male friends. I can't talk to most of the women because make-up and guys are all they talk about. Maybe sometime later I'll have those kind of friends too, when I'm away from this place where only Vanity rules and knowledge has no importance.

Also, older people than me. They're wise.

I haven't had a problem with it so far, so I think it's not too bad.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'm not picky. That's a good way miss out on a potentially
great friendship.

 

[Ak5]

Note: Sarcasm ahead!

-No Blacks
-No Asians
-No Latinos
-No Indians
-No Muslims
-No Jews
-No weirdos
-No virgins
-No Democrats
-No Liberals
-No nerds/geeks
-No social misfits
-No fat people
-No anorexics
-No short people
-Nobody who lives in a ghetto
-Nobody who likes RPG video games
-Nobody who likes anime
-Only people of the Aryan race
-Only people of my intellectual level
-Only people of wealth
-Only people who play FPS video games
-Only people who own everything made by Apple
-Only people who drive BMWs, Porsches, and Maseratis.
-Only jocks


No wonder I'm lonely lol.

 

[LoneKiller]

Note: Sarcasm ahead!

-No Blacks
-No Asians
-No Latinos
-No Indians
-No Muslims
-No Jews
-No weirdos
-No virgins
-No Democrats
-No Liberals
-No nerds/geeks
-No social misfits
-No fat people
-No anorexics
-No short people
-Nobody who lives in a ghetto
-Nobody who likes RPG video games
-Nobody who likes anime
-Only people of the Aryan race
-Only people of my intellectual level
-Only people of wealth
-Only people who play FPS video games
-Only people who own everything made by Apple
-Only people who drive BMWs, Porsches, and Maseratis.
-Only jocks


No wonder I'm lonely lol.

Nobody who likes RPG video games?! Blasphemy!!