Dating websites - do they work ?

[Paraiyar]

All these dating websites and dating apps on smart phone are plain garbage.

I could not even get ONE freaking response when I was using both the Tinder and Bagel Meets Coffee (BMC) dating apps.

Well, ..I take that back.
I got one response on BMC, and the girl was a pediatrician - a good match since I'm also in the health field. But man! She was kind of obese, and face-wise, not really a looker. This was back when I was living in my home state. Now, I've tried Tinder, and people here where I'm living are racist, so they don't respond to any of my comments / personal messages.

I'm white in a predominantly white area and didn't get many responses on Tinder either and I know other guys with the same problem. It might not have been to do with race in your case.

 

[Nethic]

Online dating is perfectly symbolized by the very act of sex and fertilization itself: - one egg surrounded by millions of furiously squirming sperm all trying to get in. Nearly every sperm will die trying, with the exception of the lucky one whose combination of attributes (strength & stamina) and starting position happen to connect with the egg.

Great deal for the egg, lousy deal for the individual sperm.

Source: https://www.quora.com/World-Wide-Web-What-is-it-like-being-a-man-on-a-dating-site

Dating websites in a nutshell.

 

[soresoul]

I posted about what happened to my daughter a few weeks back for being stood up by that *******.

I was reading some profiles on her pof account (with her permission of course) and these people always says the same bullshit "looking for a serious relationship" "no games or drama" and the always "let's chat or anything hit me up".

I asked her if you ever come up with questions or start up a conversation and failed to get a responds? She says all the time. She also says too when you message someone just a hello, they block you. I'm thinking how the fresia can be someone just be rude and block you at hello?

So glad I don't date anymore.

 

[niceguysfinishlast]

I feel like they don't work. Most of the time people don't get a reply and when they do, it's likely spam anyway. How does anyone meet other people anymore? Bar-seeing doesn't work and lacking a social life doesn't help. :/

 

[Restless soul]

And what to do when you hate how you look in every photo? Or hate how you look when you smile? It can be a real blow to self-esteem when you email 100 people. And nothing. Dead air. But at the same time it's easier to do in the comfort of your home and phone as opposed to some crappy bar. At least you can cover plenty of ground. But aside from that I think it's better to be on some, than none. Right?? If you are addicted to your phone might as well try to meet some people in the process.

Just to add To what I wrote. Actually i feel tindr match type apps are better in some ways in terms avoiding rude rejections which you can experience and I have on apps where you are actually writing a message vs a swipe and a like and a match. Something to think about

 

[TheRealCallie]

And what to do when you hate how you look in every photo? Or hate how you look when you smile? It can be a real blow to self-esteem when you email 100 people. And nothing. Dead air. But at the same time it's easier to do in the comfort of your home and phone as opposed to some crappy bar. At least you can cover plenty of ground. But aside from that I think it's better to be on some, than none. Right?? If you are addicted to your phone might as well try to meet some people in the process.

Just to add To what I wrote. Actually i feel tindr match type apps are better in some ways in terms avoiding rude rejections which you can experience and I have on apps where you are actually writing a message vs a swipe and a like and a match. Something to think about

I always ask someone who will tell me the brutal truth about my photos before I will post them anywhere. I know I'm not a good judge of how I really look, so I can't rely on my own opinion of myself.

 

[edgecrusher]

They've worked for me in that I've actually dated two people. One was a relationship for over a year. Neither lasted, but I wouldn't have met anyone otherwise. They're good for introverted types that don't go out. Which is exactly me.

 

[dan_in_stoke]

Hi,
thanks for all the responses, I guess the opinion is they don't work. From my experience is they don't as I have filled in all the various profiles with photos and descriptions, sent numerous, probably 100s of messages and never got a reply. From E harmony I think they might use BOTS as the few times I started the "guided communication" with a women, once you get to ask you own questions their profile disappears.

Got a few insulting replies from women on POF regarding my looks and expectations.

So totally a knock and confidence destroyer.

 

[LonelySutton]

I guess the opinion is they don't work. From my experience is they don't as I have filled in all the various profiles with photos and descriptions, sent numerous, probably 100s of messages and never got a reply.
Got a few insulting replies from women on POF regarding my looks and expectations.
So totally a knock and confidence destroyer.

I also feel like I am a backward communicator for most dating sites. If I see a photo first that photo does something to my opinion of them and then subsequent conversations are tainted by the photo. But if I do conversations first like the person based on that... no matter what the photo is... I see it in a more flattering light.

I would do better in a dating site without a photo for a long time.

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

I decided to join one last night and give it a shot. Within 20 minutes of my profile going live, I had a message from a 74 year old guy asking if I'd call him daddy and let him spank me. I deleted that account very quickly. Some people are just plain weird

 

[bd1974]

I'm a guy and I'm short and ugly. That disqualifies me for 99.9% of all women so dating sites don't work for me. I filled out the eHarmony personality questionnaire thing just for fun. It said that there is 1% of the population that is beyond all hope, even for them. It said I was in the 1% so I shouldn't even try. That's the truth.

Now if you are good looking, I have heard that some people have success.

 

[senthendryl]

I tried a few dating sites but i am very dissapointed. For example badoo,, when i saw pictures of woman it was sad. Photos breast, butts and duck faces. Ahh i hate that type of girl. I am looking for normal, simply woman that would be my best friend. I burned myself few times, so i hate that things who somebody tell: my love or my teddy bear. I feel like an alien, because i hate so much mainstream culture, expensive brand, fake stars and so on. I like books, nature, science, space, surreal art and happy hardcore D)

 

[morrowrd]

Hi,
Currently a member of several dating websites, some with paid memberships :-
Eharmony,
Elite Singles
POF
Ok Cupid

and Tinder

My profile(s) are full and include photos but despite sending out lots of messages and contact requests no one ever replies.

Makes me feel like the ugliest guy in the world and I'm wasting my time and money.

Do they actually work ?

Dating sites work, and I noticed the ebb and flow of success. Pictures are important, however writing is very important. An honestly written profile will get attention. Women get 10X (or more) messages, requests, and emails that men do, so standing out is important. And while they get alot more attention, alot of it is "bad" attention. I've chatted with alot of women on these sites, gone out with enough to hear that it's a norm, over half of all these messages are seedy, inappropriate sexual requests, requests for pictures, creepy messages.... then there are the handful of "good" messages. Women have to filter out all the obvious ones, to get to those good normal and honest messages. YOU have to work a little to get your profile into the noticeable pile, one thing I would do is read through the profiles, and send a message commenting on something I read. Nothing weird, just open ended, honest, and then leave it. They will message you back or not. I made a list of anyone I had messaged, just so I knew to not message them again if they didn't respond. It's a patience game, but it works. I've dated quite a few women, slept with most of them, and if I had wanted a relationship, I could have had one with almost all of the ones I went out with. Remember, patience.

 

[blackdot]

I also feel like I am a backward communicator for most dating sites. If I see a photo first that photo does something to my opinion of them and then subsequent conversations are tainted by the photo. But if I do conversations first like the person based on that... no matter what the photo is... I see it in a more flattering light.

I would do better in a dating site without a photo for a long time.

Back when I was in a dateable age range, I had somewhat similar issue but instead of photos, it was conversation. I like to get to know someone online first before meeting. That way I know something about them and can tailor my conversation the first time I meet them. I can tell a lot about someone talking online. Most women hate talking before they meet someone. They want to meet as quick as possible so they can mark you off the list and move to the next guy. Seeing a message from someone that is long and detailed does something to me that makes me like them a lot. Unfortunately this is the Twitter age and people expect messages to not going past 1 line.

Meeting someone without knowing looks at all would be terrible as looks are too important. I can't talk to people on dating sites that have no photo at all.

 

[amulet]

Some do and some dont. I ave had good and bad luck using them. I met one gal who lived 3 states away from me, we talked alot on the internet and phone calls, after a while she moved to where I live turned out to be huge mistake. a few years later met another gal on different dating site, she lived in same town fell in love married her a year later and we still are married 7 years later.

 

[lei]

I never had a boyfriend or even went on a date before. I just turned 33 this year. I tried eharmony in january and started talking with someone. Had a good feeling about him and liked him a lot. Took a crazy chance and finally agreed to meet him in person after texting every day for a month. Well we've been dating every week since then and we've even bought a house together and are moving in a few weeks from now. So it can happen even for weirdos like me. My friend situation is still dire but I'm in love and it's going well. I can say so far I've had an unexpectedly great year. We've been together almost 8 months.

 

[Paraiyar]

I never had a boyfriend or even went on a date before. I just turned 33 this year. I tried eharmony in january and started talking with someone. Had a good feeling about him and liked him a lot. Took a crazy chance and finally agreed to meet him in person after texting every day for a month. Well we've been dating every week since then and we've even bought a house together and are moving in a few weeks from now. So it can happen even for weirdos like me. My friend situation is still dire but I'm in love and it's going well. I can say so far I've had an unexpectedly great year. We've been together almost 8 months.

Hey congrats, hope it stays strong and that you get a circle of good friends as well.

 

[lei]

It bothered me enough that I paid to renew my membership, just so I could let him know that I wasnt "looking" anymore. I had no idea what he looked like nor did he know what I looked like. As it turns out, he had to actually purchase a membership to even see my message.
The rest is history.
So they CAN work, but the process can be emotional suicide if you aren't careful..

This exactly happened to me. I joined eharmony as a free member and answered my bf's questions back and forth. Finally at the last part I couldn't respond to his message or view his picture because I wasn't a paying member. I just had a feeling like I wanted to reply to him so I signed up for their cheapest package ($180!!) and now we've been together since. First guy I met online too

 

[kuro]

I've tried online dating and well it takes a lot of hard work to get anywhere. I hardly got messages and no one replied to mine.

I did meet someone from there who eventually became my boyfriend (who now is an ex), so it does work but at the same time it doesn't.

Times have changed and more people looking online etc. I wonder what it's going to be after ten years time.

 

[daglinch]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.