Dating websites - do they work ?

[Menorahman]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.

And this is why most men are floundering in misery.

"It's not working, but keep at it."

If you want to be happier, delete your online presence.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.

And this is why most men are floundering in misery.

"It's not working, but keep at it."

If you want to be happier, delete your online presence.

Yes, if you want to be happier, become a hermit and just smoke weed

Or maybe you can decide NOT to give up and keep trying because that is the only way anything will happen. When you stop trying is when you fail, not before. Dating websites aren't magical places that give you everything you want. It's just like real life, only gives you a wider selection of people to associate with and meet.

 

[Restless soul]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.

Because? No matches. Why does it not do anything?

 

[JenniferJones]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.

Because? No matches. Why does it not do anything?

I was in a long-term relationship, and last went out on a 'date' with an unknown person 15 years ago. I'm scared of online dating sites. Am I just being stupid?

 

[kamya]

Hi,
Currently a member of several dating websites, some with paid memberships :-
Eharmony,
Elite Singles
POF
Ok Cupid

and Tinder

My profile(s) are full and include photos but despite sending out lots of messages and contact requests no one ever replies.

Makes me feel like the ugliest guy in the world and I'm wasting my time and money.

Do they actually work ?

Dating sites work, and I noticed the ebb and flow of success. Pictures are important, however writing is very important. An honestly written profile will get attention. Women get 10X (or more) messages, requests, and emails that men do, so standing out is important. And while they get alot more attention, alot of it is "bad" attention. I've chatted with alot of women on these sites, gone out with enough to hear that it's a norm, over half of all these messages are seedy, inappropriate sexual requests, requests for pictures, creepy messages.... then there are the handful of "good" messages. Women have to filter out all the obvious ones, to get to those good normal and honest messages. YOU have to work a little to get your profile into the noticeable pile, one thing I would do is read through the profiles, and send a message commenting on something I read. Nothing weird, just open ended, honest, and then leave it. They will message you back or not. I made a list of anyone I had messaged, just so I knew to not message them again if they didn't respond. It's a patience game, but it works. I've dated quite a few women, slept with most of them, and if I had wanted a relationship, I could have had one with almost all of the ones I went out with. Remember, patience.

Lets see your profile. Smells like bs. Would be nice to see an example of what works. Assuming you arent super attractive, otherwise id say the pictures are doing more than you give credit for.

**** that was so long ago i doubt hes still around.

 

[bd1974]

Hi,
Currently a member of several dating websites, some with paid memberships :-
Eharmony,
Elite Singles
POF
Ok Cupid

and Tinder

My profile(s) are full and include photos but despite sending out lots of messages and contact requests no one ever replies.

Makes me feel like the ugliest guy in the world and I'm wasting my time and money.

Do they actually work ?

Dating sites work, and I noticed the ebb and flow of success. Pictures are important, however writing is very important. An honestly written profile will get attention. Women get 10X (or more) messages, requests, and emails that men do, so standing out is important. And while they get alot more attention, alot of it is "bad" attention. I've chatted with alot of women on these sites, gone out with enough to hear that it's a norm, over half of all these messages are seedy, inappropriate sexual requests, requests for pictures, creepy messages.... then there are the handful of "good" messages. Women have to filter out all the obvious ones, to get to those good normal and honest messages. YOU have to work a little to get your profile into the noticeable pile, one thing I would do is read through the profiles, and send a message commenting on something I read. Nothing weird, just open ended, honest, and then leave it. They will message you back or not. I made a list of anyone I had messaged, just so I knew to not message them again if they didn't respond. It's a patience game, but it works. I've dated quite a few women, slept with most of them, and if I had wanted a relationship, I could have had one with almost all of the ones I went out with. Remember, patience.

Lets see your profile. Smells like bs. Would be nice to see an example of what works. Assuming you arent super attractive, otherwise id say the pictures are doing more than you give credit for.

**** that was so long ago i doubt hes still around.

I agree 100%. This guy is obviously super attractive or he wouldn't be getting all that attention. Attractive people don't always realize that's the reason things are working for them.

 

[Menorahman]

I know what you mean. Tinder does nothing for me. Haven't had any interest in over a week. Don't dispare however. Keep trying.

And this is why most men are floundering in misery.

"It's not working, but keep at it."

If you want to be happier, delete your online presence.

Yes, if you want to be happier, become a hermit and just smoke weed

Or maybe you can decide NOT to give up and keep trying because that is the only way anything will happen.  When you stop trying is when you fail, not before.  Dating websites aren't magical places that give you everything you want.  It's just like real life, only gives you a wider selection of people to associate with and meet.

Choosing not to be a slave is the opposite of giving up. Most people have nothing to offer and they are miserable to boot. Dating websites are for sad people who crave a ball and chain to drag them down even further.

 

[Tuathaniel]

Dating sites can work for some, depending on how lucky you are and what you're looking for. None of them have ever worked for me, but I know at least two couples who met on a dating site and are now happily (as far as I know) married.

It's the same way as it is with most things - no universal answer. People are different, and what works for some won't work for others.

 

[Menorahman]

It's not luck, it's looks. How do people still not get this?

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's not luck, it's looks. How do people still not get this?

Probably because it's not true....  

 

[soresoul]

Dating sites can work for some, depending on how lucky you are and what you're looking for. None of them have ever worked for me, but I know at least two couples who met on a dating site and are now happily (as far as I know) married.

It's the same way as it is with most things - no universal answer. People are different, and what works for some won't work for others.

Dating websites are the worse. They tend to lead you into endless empty promises of bullshit thinking your "number 1" awaits you. Yet, there are endless amount of useless spam bots, delusional people, or far out fakes on there that these websites fail to weed out for the real people who have the good intentions. I heard more terrible things then happy results.

If you read a few pages back, I posted a story on what happened to my daughter where she got stood up by a guy she was trying to meet on a date. Down the road he turn into a tranny so I guess it worked out in the end.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You are aware that people get stood up even when they don't meet on a dating site, right? And he turned into a tranny within a month? Somehow I doubt that.

 

[soresoul]

I really don't give a **** what your doubts are. Since day one you were nothing but negative to me for no **** reason and always challenge me or anybody who had a different opinion on anything but hey same honeysuckle different day.

It wasn't a month, this was back in August so a little longer than a month. Again, this was the follow up what my daughter told me. Apparently another person had this happen to them.

Of course, you don't have to be on any site to be stood up but still if you look at the percentage of people on there and the factors of more negative things that happen when netting on those siites, not just being stood up. You see a greater chance of running into brick walls than finding your other. Yes, I'm sure it can happen, I never said it couldn't. But cmon...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Um, you hear about all the big bad on dating sites because it's the internet and people like to ***** and whine. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen in real life. I know many people who had bad dating experiences that have nothing to do with meeting online or through technology. It's called life. It doesn't cater to you, you aren't entitled to anything. You get what you get and then decide how to deal with it. It's just an excuse to blame it on technology. Nothing is perfect, whether it is online or off.

And in case there's any doubt, all my yous are generalized.

 

[Somnambulist]

In my opinion, they can work. I honestly don't know how much having a "great profile" helps. I think it's all a god damned crapshoot ... it was for me.

I tried match.com and EHarmony.

On EHarmony, I must have sent out 500 messages, and I met 2 quality women. I have to admit - the 2 women that I met were really special.
On Match.com, I sent out about a 100 messages, and I met no one.

I don't like online dating as a concept, because, it mirrors job hunting ... resume/profile, first interview/first date, comparing candidates/comparing dates. Too much pressure, and too many spammers on those sites. It's too forced, not spontaneous.
However, it's also good in that, if you can't find a partner because you're shy or not direct enough, it gets right to the point !

Although I've been told I'm very attractive looking, I hardly ever take pictures because I don't like to show off to the world where I am and what I'm doing. I don't do Facebook or any of those sites, so I don't have 10,000 pictures to choose from.

And, I can't stand seeing people's fake profiles with 100 pictures (and zero substance) that don't tell me jack about them other than that they like to put on appearances - here I am with my "friends" at this bar, drinking this fine wine ... here I am in Africa, saving the starving children ... here I am at work, a dedicated employee ... here I am with my family, see how much we love each other ? All those pictures tell me diddly honeysuckle, because I can't reach into a person's soul through their pictures, and see their core values - are they honest ? are they serious ? are they loyal ? will they commit ?

To summarize, I HATE the concept of online dating, but for people who have a hard time meeting people otherwise, it can be a lifeline.

But that's just me.

 

[MisterLonely]

And, I can't stand seeing people's fake profiles with 100 pictures (and zero substance) that don't tell me jack about them other than that they like to put on appearances - here I am with my "friends" at this bar, drinking this fine wine ... here I am in Africa, saving the starving children ... here I am at work, a dedicated employee ... here I am with my family, see how much we love each other ? All those pictures tell me diddly honeysuckle, because I can't reach into a person's soul through their online profile, and see their core values - are they honest ? are they serious ? are they loyal ? will they commit ?

Just wondering, if someone took the time to write in theit bio that they "enjoy going for a drink with friends " and "volenteer for habitats for humanity in Africa" or "Love hanging out and socializing with their family" would that tell you more than those pictures? and would you be more inclined to take those values for truths?

Ofcourse I do also agree in some way, it's very hard to gage someones personality, sence of humour and intelligence from a picture, but a picture can tell a story, or part of it, when you like the outdoors you might be drawn to someones camping pictures, and when you like sports to somones sporty pics.

So no pictures don't tell you everything, but if you look closely they might tellyouenough to decide to contact that person, who just might be the love of your life (or a catfish ;P)

(P.S. I also HATE those dating sites, I find it appalling that on many of these sites women can sign up for free and men need to pay, it's just companies praying on the lonely)

 

[Somnambulist]

And, I can't stand seeing people's fake profiles with 100 pictures (and zero substance) that don't tell me jack about them other than that they like to put on appearances - here I am with my "friends" at this bar, drinking this fine wine ... here I am in Africa, saving the starving children ... here I am at work, a dedicated employee ... here I am with my family, see how much we love each other ? All those pictures tell me diddly honeysuckle, because I can't reach into a person's soul through their online profile, and see their core values - are they honest ? are they serious ? are they loyal ? will they commit ?

Just wondering, if someone took the time to write in theit bio that they "enjoy going for a drink with friends " and "volenteer for habitats for humanity in Africa" or "Love hanging out and socializing with their family" would that tell you more than those pictures? and would you be more inclined to take those values for truths?

Ofcourse I do also agree in some way, it's very hard to gage someones personality, sence of humour and intelligence from a picture, but a picture can tell a story, or part of it, when you like the outdoors you might be drawn to someones camping pictures, and when you like sports to somones sporty pics.

So no pictures don't tell you everything, but if you look closely they might tellyouenough to decide to contact that person, who just might be the love of your life (or a catfish ;P)

How and what a person writes tells me VOLUMES about the person. Grammar, vocabulary, word choices, etc. Not just the content, but what's in between the lines.

You're right ... pictures can provide useful information, but after seeing thousands of immature infantile pictures out there, I just can't give them any importance anymore. Other than to say ... ok, there's some physical attraction, and she's not nude (I live in Southern California), which is good.

They're both kinda important, but if I had to choose between pictures and words as a better indicator of compatibility, for me, it would be words.

 

[Somnambulist]

And, I can't stand seeing people's fake profiles with 100 pictures (and zero substance) that don't tell me jack about them other than that they like to put on appearances - here I am with my "friends" at this bar, drinking this fine wine ... here I am in Africa, saving the starving children ... here I am at work, a dedicated employee ... here I am with my family, see how much we love each other ? All those pictures tell me diddly honeysuckle, because I can't reach into a person's soul through their online profile, and see their core values - are they honest ? are they serious ? are they loyal ? will they commit ?

Just wondering, if someone took the time to write in theit bio that they "enjoy going for a drink with friends " and "volenteer for habitats for humanity in Africa" or "Love hanging out and socializing with their family" would that tell you more than those pictures? and would you be more inclined to take those values for truths?

If they summarized their interests like that, it wouldn't tell me more than the pictures. But, on the other hand, if this was said ...

(Assuming it's not all lies, of course )

"My sister is my best friend, and I thank God, each day, for her, because I know I can count on her to hear me out after a tough day at work."

This above sentence tells me a few things:
- She is close to her family/sister
- She is humble enough to praise this other person (sister). Praising another (if it is genuine) requires humility.
- She is not afraid to admit that she can have the occasional tough day at work AND needs someone to talk to (a big challenge for most fake people)

"Due to my own struggles in childhood, I cannot bear to see other kids in pain, so I am determined to do what I can to help starving children."

And this, again, demonstrates courage (to mention problems in life) and compassion.

That's what I mean by words that have substance. It's how the content is presented that speaks volumes.

"Pictures are worth a thousand words."

Not always

 

[MisterLonely]

I do agree,

However most people will not post too much personal information to the public, they tend to keep those things to have something to talk about when they start conversing with someone, so the dating profile is little more than an advertisment for ones self, screaming at the world, come try me, i'm interresting, i'm fun, i'm active, i'm social and so on.

I think you can get allot of information out of just a photograph, because dating in this ages doesn't start with morals and values, it's starts with finding someone that shares your interrests a common ground so to say, i know thats not necessarily a good thing, and it definitly doesn't work for everyone.

 

[ardour]

Dating sites seem to work for those that:

1. Look like a male model
2. Are women (accepting you may have to deal with creeps)
3. From a first or second generation migrant background that only wishes to date within their ethnic group and limits their interactions accordingly