Do you feel like a loser?

[Jently]

^^^

Agreed, it sucks doesn't it

 

[Orius]

On a subconscious level maybe. I don't feel like I'm consciously acknowledging that I'm a loser, but from my triggered tempers and symptoms of persecution and/or inferiority complex, I'd say on a subconscious level, I probably have some deep-seeded thoughts about being a loser. It's not something I want to embrace or actively acknowledge, because I know that won't improve my self-esteem whatsoever. The general advice for a low self-esteem is positive thinking, ain't it? To think of yourself as a normal person whose problems can be solved or whatever. That's how normal people treat their low self-esteem, ain't it?

Sigh. I don't know. I guess I am a loser. It's not something pleasant I want to shout at the top of the world. All I know is, I'm losing more hope with each passing year, that I can have a happy life. I lost more friends. I lost my temper more often. I lost a lot of precious things.

 

[kamya]

On a subconscious level maybe. I don't feel like I'm consciously acknowledging that I'm a loser, but from my triggered tempers and symptoms of persecution and/or inferiority complex, I'd say on a subconscious level, I probably have some deep-seeded thoughts about being a loser. It's not something I want to embrace or actively acknowledge, because I know that won't improve my self-esteem whatsoever. The general advice for a low self-esteem is positive thinking, ain't it? To think of yourself as a normal person whose problems can be solved or whatever. That's how normal people treat their low self-esteem, ain't it?

Sigh. I don't know. I guess I am a loser. It's not something pleasant I want to shout at the top of the world. All I know is, I'm losing more hope with each passing year, that I can have a happy life. I lost more friends. I lost my temper more often. I lost a lot of precious things.

I dunno much about your circumstances but for me the only thing that built my confidence and made me stop feeling like a loser was to start doing honeysuckle.

Setting hard but realistic goals. Being disciplined. Working towards and accomplishing those goals. 

As far as I know people usually aren't able to just mindfuck themselves into suddenly being a confident person with high self esteem. 

This is just what works for me. Getting out of my own head and focusing doing things instead.

 

[Orius]

On a subconscious level maybe. I don't feel like I'm consciously acknowledging that I'm a loser, but from my triggered tempers and symptoms of persecution and/or inferiority complex, I'd say on a subconscious level, I probably have some deep-seeded thoughts about being a loser. It's not something I want to embrace or actively acknowledge, because I know that won't improve my self-esteem whatsoever. The general advice for a low self-esteem is positive thinking, ain't it? To think of yourself as a normal person whose problems can be solved or whatever. That's how normal people treat their low self-esteem, ain't it?

Sigh. I don't know. I guess I am a loser. It's not something pleasant I want to shout at the top of the world. All I know is, I'm losing more hope with each passing year, that I can have a happy life. I lost more friends. I lost my temper more often. I lost a lot of precious things.

I dunno much about your circumstances but for me the only thing that built my confidence and made me stop feeling like a loser was to start doing honeysuckle.

Setting hard but realistic goals. Being disciplined. Working towards and accomplishing those goals. 

As far as I know people usually aren't able to just mindfuck themselves into suddenly being a confident person with high self esteem. 

This is just what works for me. Getting out of my own head and focusing doing things instead.

Well, that's kinda what I'm in the process of doing - set a goal not to lose my temper for more than a month. As you can see from my diary, it's going as well as one would expect from someone like me.

 

[GizmonicScrewdriver]

I think in my opinion that...ummm....dammit!......

 

[Lonewolf33]

I feel like a loser and spend most of my time obsessing over all my daily fresia-ups. This all on top of the constant feelings of loneliness.

 

[Paraiyar]

Not anymore so much and my confidence has been rising a lot on the last week or so.

 

[GizmonicScrewdriver]

Not anymore so much and my confidence has been rising a lot on the last week or so.

Then get out! :club:
You are cured. We got other People to fix!

Haha just kidding.

 

[SilentLife]

From society's (i.e others) point of view I am definitely a loser. Because I don't live up to any universal standards. Except having a job and being self-sufficient.

I feel also a loser, because the world exhausts me so much, so I can't live an active life like many others. It has frustrated me a lot - I have had to give up a lot of plans, because I am exhausted or actually ill. While others have parties, fun, travels, etc.

In fact nowadays I don't plan anything at all (apart from going to work obviously), because I never know, which energy levels I could have the next day. I could maybe want to go to some event, but the next day arrives I am on the verge of collapse and need to go to home and have a rest all evening.

Well, that's my life. The loser's life.

I am fortunate to have been born in this age and era, because centuries ago remember life expectancy was much lower. And most likely I would have been among those, who died shortly after birth. So natural selection doing its work.

 

[user 139760]

From society's (i.e others) point of view I am definitely a loser. Because I don't live up to any universal standards. Except having a job and being self-sufficient.

I feel also a loser, because the world exhausts me so much, so I can't live an active life like many others. It has frustrated me a lot - I have had to give up a lot of plans, because I am exhausted or actually ill. While others have parties, fun, travels, etc.

In fact nowadays I don't plan anything at all (apart from going to work obviously), because I never know, which energy levels I could have the next day. I could maybe want to go to some event, but the next day arrives I am on the verge of collapse and need to go to home and have a rest all evening.

Well, that's my life. The loser's life.

I am fortunate to have been born in this age and era, because centuries ago remember life expectancy was much lower. And most likely I would have been among those, who died shortly after birth. So natural selection doing its work.

Or you could have been a tough as nails "I just shat my pants" Roman soldier. SPQR made many people honeysuckle themselves in those days and conquered 3/4 of the known world. So you may not be as loser as you think you are lol.
Today's standards....
Speaking only for myself, as well as without any kind of political or otherwise interelated context, I always feel the world we live in is "for the weak". In the sense that, instead of glorifying, or valorising difference, we keep harassing people to fit into a specific mold. If they don't, they're cast out.
I mean, I'm sure 2000 years ago, small and weakly little child ALEXANDER THE GREAT was at one point told by an instructor he was weird, or crazy, or a number of things designed to honeysuckle all over him. Yet he became feared and respected all the like, up to this day.

I dunno, I keep feeling that today's social climate isn't about taking everyone and rising them UP. It's about finding the lowest possible common denominator and bringing everyone down to it's level. Even though it's in the diversity of people we find the greatest strenght.

I was called a loser, a long time ago. Viewed myself as a loser as well. Yet I've made grown men (quite literally) piss themselves. While I'm not particularly proud of the fact (now lol) how can one be called a loser when he does something few have? WHO is able and willing to judge others to the point where they can actively say someone is a loser?
Myriam Webster defines a loser as "a person who is incompetent or unable to succeed". Well, most people have succeeded in SOME things, wether it be work, a particular art realisation, or something else. Everyone has a special talent, wether that be being good at video games, at polka, at running naked and farting through his mouth, SOMETHING. A loser has NOTHING.

In that sense, there's very few losers. You just need to concentrate on what you have, and how to get other things, instead of depressing on what you DON'T.

;-)

 

[Harker]

Sometimes. It depends on the circumstances, humor and social network. Sharing burdens with some companion makes life more bearable.

 

[Pablo]

Yeah , i feel a bit. I don't even know how to dance or sing..
I just started going to the gym so maybe i will change my style of life.

 

[Tealeaf]

I dunno, it's complicated.

I've missed out on a lot of "normal" things, like groups of friends, nightlife, marriage, nice job, etc. Have always been anxious. Don't like social media or have much of anything to post on Instagram or whatever people are using now. By some standards, people might call me a loser because I don't really keep up the appearances that we see on TV or Facebook.

Thankfully, I've skipped a lot of other "normal" things... don't need to drink, smoke pot, or have sex with people whose names I don't even know to amuse myself. Don't waste time on petty games like exactly how long you're supposed to wait before texting someone back. Non-smoker and a runner. I actually read books and I do volunteer work.

 

[X-1 Alpha]

I dunno, it's complicated.

I've missed out on a lot of "normal" things, like groups of friends, nightlife, marriage, nice job, etc. Have always been anxious. Don't like social media or have much of anything to post on Instagram or whatever people are using now. By some standards, people might call me a loser because I don't really keep up the appearances that we see on TV or Facebook.

Thankfully, I've skipped a lot of other "normal" things... don't need to drink, smoke pot, or have sex with people whose names I don't even know to amuse myself. Don't waste time on petty games like exactly how long you're supposed to wait before texting someone back. Non-smoker and a runner. I actually read books and I do volunteer work.

Wow, that does sound a lot like me, except less sucky, haha.

I've a crippling anxiety, so I've been pretty much hiding in my own room for most of my life. Never liked social media, not only because I've no real social life to speak of, but also because I absolutely hate the thought of tweeting news about every moment of my life. I do like to have some privacy, which seems to be a dying concept nowadays.

But yeah, I've also skipped on some of the "fun" aspects of growing up, like getting drunk 'till I drop, smoking ... stuff and engaging in other ... shady activities.

I've tried gym initially, but that didn't work out for me, so I've tried running and came to a conclusion that I do actually enjoy it, except there's no decent places to do it in my area, so I did buy a threadmill eventually. Guess that's the best I can do.

I guess the coin does have two sides after all, eh?

 

[TheSkaFish]

I dunno, it's complicated.

I've missed out on a lot of "normal" things, like groups of friends, nightlife, marriage, nice job, etc. Have always been anxious. Don't like social media or have much of anything to post on Instagram or whatever people are using now. By some standards, people might call me a loser because I don't really keep up the appearances that we see on TV or Facebook.

Thankfully, I've skipped a lot of other "normal" things... don't need to drink, smoke pot, or have sex with people whose names I don't even know to amuse myself. Don't waste time on petty games like exactly how long you're supposed to wait before texting someone back. Non-smoker and a runner. I actually read books and I do volunteer work.

I feel somewhat similar.  I've missed out on the normal things too like being in the "in" crowd.  But I never liked them and never wanted to be one, I just wanted to get the perks they enjoyed, like how things always seemed to magically go their way.  Nightlife, eh.  I could take it or leave it.  Marriage....I don't know.  I've never gone on a date yet, and I don't know that I'll ever be able to date anyone I would feel that strongly about.  It could change, but I feel like the chance is very small now.  If I can only be with someone I'm lukewarm about, then I don't want to bother with marriage.  No point marrying someone I'm not crazy about.  

I've never known what kind of job I want to do.  All I know is that I want to do something respectable because I don't want people looking down on me and I want to be able to feel like I have some business feeling like I can get somewhere.  But I don't know what that is yet.

I've tried drinking, which I still do.  Weed was just OK, I don't really feel a need to revisit it.  And sex, well, I have no "game" so yeah.  I've always wanted a relationship but I never understood the whole idea of hookups with strangers, it seemed like more work than it is worth since you have to start from scratch each time and that it doesn't even build up to anything real.  

It's nice to see you don't play the power games though.  I don't get those either.

I'm not sure what kinds of activities I want to do in life.  Lots of things cost money, and if you don't have that you can't do those things often.  And if you don't do it often, you don't get good and if you don't get good, it's not worth it to me.  The normal stuff, eh, it looks just OK.  Part of what doesn't excite me about it is that I want to be a creative person, have some original ideas of my own and I don't think the normal stuff would inspire me so to me it looks like killing time.   But the normal stuff is how most people have fun and relate, so I don't know.

 

[Amelia]

I dunno, it's complicated.

I've missed out on a lot of "normal" things, like groups of friends, nightlife, marriage, nice job, etc. Have always been anxious. Don't like social media or have much of anything to post on Instagram or whatever people are using now. By some standards, people might call me a loser because I don't really keep up the appearances that we see on TV or Facebook.

Thankfully, I've skipped a lot of other "normal" things... don't need to drink, smoke pot, or have sex with people whose names I don't even know to amuse myself. Don't waste time on petty games like exactly how long you're supposed to wait before texting someone back. Non-smoker and a runner. I actually read books and I do volunteer work.

Nice way of looking at things . I'm starting to think that maybe, the term "loser" is very much self defined. 

Maybe I am just focusing on all the social norms I haven't subscribed to and am forgetting my personal achievements and growth. Everyone's going to have a list of fails, but as the saying goes, I can choose to define myself by my successes (however small), or failures.

I don't know...just a thought

 

[Jently]

I dunno, it's complicated.

I've missed out on a lot of "normal" things, like groups of friends, nightlife, marriage, nice job, etc. Have always been anxious. Don't like social media or have much of anything to post on Instagram or whatever people are using now. By some standards, people might call me a loser because I don't really keep up the appearances that we see on TV or Facebook.

Thankfully, I've skipped a lot of other "normal" things... don't need to drink, smoke pot, or have sex with people whose names I don't even know to amuse myself. Don't waste time on petty games like exactly how long you're supposed to wait before texting someone back. Non-smoker and a runner. I actually read books and I do volunteer work.

Apart from the anxiety (not nice, I know from personal experience) it sounds pretty much ideal so may I say you definitely don't sound like a loser to me

 

[user 139760]

From society's (i.e others) point of view I am definitely a loser. Because I don't live up to any universal standards. Except having a job and being self-sufficient.
[quote pid='847518' dateline='1501182822']

I feel also a loser, because the world exhausts me so much, so I can't live an active life like many others. It has frustrated me a lot - I have had to give up a lot of plans, because I am exhausted or actually ill. While others have parties, fun, travels, etc.

In fact nowadays I don't plan anything at all (apart from going to work obviously), because I never know, which energy levels I could have the next day. I could maybe want to go to some event, but the next day arrives I am on the verge of collapse and need to go to home and have a rest all evening.

Well, that's my life. The loser's life.

I am fortunate to have been born in this age and era, because centuries ago remember life expectancy was much lower. And most likely I would have been among those, who died shortly after birth. So natural selection doing its work.

[/quote]


Oh, I forgot something, a bit personal, that I forgot to say the other day that might put some things in perspective, what with what I saw about the term "loser" being self-defined.
I've had a rather rock and roll life, full of ups and down, these days mostly downs.
Do you have ANY idea what I'd give to have your life right now, dude?
I mean, my entire life, 38 years of it, has been with the goal of being you. Up to and including your username; Silentlife. Silence. Peace. No huge stress. No responsibilities.
With all I'm going through right now, a lot of things have been put in perspective and I'M the one feels like the loser. Because my goal was to have a sustainable, quiet and boring little life, where my kids and my once future family would be able to grow up satisfied.
EEEERRRRRRR! DENIED lol.
Job stability, comfort, quiet...I've spent my time striving for it. You might consider yourself to be a "loser", but if I envy YOU (and trust me, if you read my posting history, you know why, I DO), what does that make me, whom others consider often to be a normal, functional, useful member of society?
Maybe you're a far cry from the loser you think you are. Maybe you actually had your priorities straight, had the intelligence to pull through and I didn't. Maybe someone's loser is someone else's goal. Of course, we all have our troubles, yours might be from a lonelyness stand point  but in other ways, in ways that to me, matter, you're a far cry from being what we define as a loser. I see you as a goal to strive for. It...just does not seem to work LOL. I gave up figuring out why.

Anyways, I wanted to add that. I actually envy the silent life and I can't see to get it. Right now, I'd trade anything I have for it, instead of trading in probably several years of my future old life. This is bound to have health impacts later.
I'm saying, in general, learn to appreciate what you have, in some ways, even if it's not quite what you want. Because for someone else, when you want just that and don't get it, it can be sheer torture.
You're a much wiser and cooler dude than you give yourself credit for, too ;-)

 

[SilentLife]

Thanks, Richard.

To give some insight about my calm life.

Then yes, I have been pretty cautious in my decisions. I don't go to many places or do many things, but where I go I really feel that now that's the thing I need to do. To put in perspective - while in the same timeframe other people may do like 10 things, I do just that one thing and concentrate on that.

Luckily though I never feel bored. People are often 'busy' because I don't know - they feel the need to do something all the time, hence end up in all kind of situations. But I feel fulfilled enough, when I do my statistics, etc. You can imagine some slightly nerdy stuff, haha. Or take interest in geography or history, or read about something like that.

I appreciate that people may wish such life. But that's how the world is like. People's lives, journeys and fates are sooo different on this planet. Everyone is kind of stuck in their own journey, at best they could slightly just about modify it.

 

[weste]

When I'm by myself or in my room no. But when I'm in public or interacting with others yeah everyday.