Do You Have Sympathy For Obese People?

[VanillaCreme]

Perhaps the worst is now how I feel about overweight women. I've spent so long thinking I must be repulsive to the opposite gender I cannot find overweight women attractive, which is a bugger as sadly fat tends to go with fat. I'm going to be single for a long time if I don't either lose alot of weight or learn to settle.

I find this sad. A lot of women, whether we be overweight or slimmer, find bigger guys attractive. I know I personally like bigger dudes. My ex, in fact, was around your size.

 

[21acceptedbeingalone]

I feel sympathy for fat people yes. Ive always been a skinny guy, so I haven't expereinced what it's like firsthand. Ive had acne for about 10 years though, which I think is probably a similar problem because its made me depressed a lot and afraid to be around people. While I do feel sympathetic towards fat people, I'd almost rather be fat than have acne because there is no actual cure for acne, it can only be treated somewhat. Losing weight is probably really hard when you are lacking in motivation or confidence, but at least a remedy is available once you can commit to starting the path to solve it.

 

[Intranetusa]

Absolutely.

I've heard it time and time again from some people who say: Put down the fork! Get your lazy ass of the couch and do some exercise! I just don't see any therapeutic value in harsh statements like that.

These are the same types of people who would tell depressed people to just "snap out of it".

I think there is a difference. One requires you to do something to fix it. The other requires you to not do something to fix it.

Solving the issue of overweight can be as simple as eating less...so the solution is much simpler.

Do I feel bad for them? Certainly. But being overweight can be fixed by both doing something (working out) and not doing something (not eating as much).

 

[Ox Blood]

After being 80lbs heavier than I am now... I can say I've been there.
Now I'm on the opposite end of the scale where people think they have the right to try and force-feed me.

It used to be: "You gotta put down the cheeseburgers..."
Now it's: "You need to eat a cheeseburger."

This is how it should be:

 

[MadMonkè]

^^ thats perfectly put.

but having thicker skin is a type of skill i think that is useful when needed...

 

[Ox Blood]

I agree, Monke.

 

[kaetic]

I don't really sympathize with the obese part. That is a health issue that a person does have control over. I am overweight myself and I am trying to do something about it. But the emotional and self esteem issues that go along with being heavy I can empathize with. I certainly wouldn't go and insult a larger sized person, or a thin person. (The bias does go both ways). I also think people don't really understand what a healthy weight is.
I guess what I'm saying is my being overweight is my own fault, maybe that's not the case with everyone. (medical issues and whatnot) I don't want or need sympathy for it. There is a difference between not sympathizing with someone and having outright hostility towards them.

Another poster said people started to treat him better after he lost weight. I don't doubt that, many people are shallow and don't recognize it. But did you act any differently after you lost the weight? Maybe you felt better about yourself and it showed? I know that when I started losing weight I felt a lot better about myself and people seemed nicer. A persons frame of mind tends to influence how they perceive they are being viewed.

I remember reading once this story about a man walking down the road. One traveler asked what the people in the village up ahead were like. He asked, how were the people in the last village. The traveler said they were horrible and dishonest. To that the man said, that is how you will find the people in this village. The next traveler he met asked him the same question, and again he asked them how the people were in the previous village. They said, oh they were wonderful and kind. To that he said, you will find these villagers the same.