Fear of arrogance

[Rosebolt]

A good day to you. For a while i wanted to share this, but i always feared it would come across as attention seeking. With some encouragement, i figured i could try anyway.

For a long time i've always had a fear of becoming an arrogant person. When i express that fear people usually tell me something along the lines of "you don't become arrogant out of nowhere" or "you need to find a balance."

Of course that is very much true, but the fear still nags at me, especially since i started feeling more confident in recent times. I know confidence and arrogance are two entirely diffirent things, but i guess those lines are kind of blurred to me.

For example, deep in my mind i believe i am quite intelligent and knowledgeable when it comes to psychological matters. But even me typing this out triggers a feeling of "shut up, that's only in your head."

So my question is, if anyone has felt the same, or something similar, and/or if anyone ever thought of me as arrogant and why. (please be honest there, it helps out a lot for me to learn from such mistakes)

Thank you very much for reading.

 

[9006]

I've actually felt like this sometimes, but it's not often.

You're right about trying to find a balance but your only balancing it relative to what you think is 'acceptable', different people will feel different about the level of arrogance you may be displaying.

Arrogance for me is someone who constantly looks down on people, corrects stupid things that shouldn't matter in the situation, quick to point out flaws in others etc..

But I think that if you meet and/or hangout with a lot of people and you've never heard a whisper about being arrogant then you're probably just feeling slightly paranoid. I don't think you sound arrogant anyway...

 

[Lilianna]

Rosebolt, I feel that way all the time.

 

[aspalas]

I know what you mean. I sometimes "feel" better than someone else, even if I don't even know him/her, but I'm never rude or condescending towards anyone who isn't actually doing something wrong (on purpose, obviously). I sometimes think like an arrogant person but I never act like one. If you just hang on to that everything will be fine.

Oh, and being talented, smart, etc. etc. isn't arrogance, as long as you're not bragging about it. Thinking you don't have any talents can even be bad. When I was young I used to think I was average in everything, even though I was a very intelligent kid and I had/have some nice talents. Nowadays I just know that I'm better at some things than others, but I'm not bragging about it (although writing this feels kind of "wrong" like you said).

 

[perfanoff]

I'm arrogant in my nature - I've learned a long time ago to accept that part of me.

 

[ShadowMan2898]

Aye, I feel that way, too. Nice to know there are others out there who feel the same way....

 

[ladyforsaken]

I know what you mean. I sometimes "feel" better than someone else, even if I don't even know him/her, but I'm never rude or condescending towards anyone who isn't actually doing something wrong (on purpose, obviously). I sometimes think like an arrogant person but I never act like one. If you just hang on to that everything will be fine.

Oh, and being talented, smart, etc. etc. isn't arrogance, as long as you're not bragging about it. Thinking you don't have any talents can even be bad. When I was young I used to think I was average in everything, even though I was a very intelligent kid and I had/have some nice talents. Nowadays I just know that I'm better at some things than others, but I'm not bragging about it (although writing this feels kind of "wrong" like you said).

I'm thinking along the lines of what aspalas has written here. As long as you're not bragging, I don't think you're arrogant. It's good to feel confident and acknowledge your own talents - that's totally fine I would say. But yeah it's easy to fall into feeling like you're arrogant when you're just feeling confident.

 

[Lilianna]

Rosebolt, I feel that way all the time.

LOL I mean I feel the way you described not about you!

 

[ladyforsaken]

Rosebolt, I feel that way all the time.

LOL I mean I feel the way you described not about you!

Lol.. that made me laugh.

 

[ucxb]

The manner in how one communicates makes a world of difference. To determine whether one is being arrogant or not in text can be difficult (especially if there is a lack of expression) and misinterpretation occurs in any form of communication for that matter. Anyways, I have not sensed arrogance at ALL yet

 

[Gondwanaland]

I don't think you're arrogant. If you were, you wouldn't be here trying to help us and giving us advice. An arrogant person would probably say: I'm not gonna waste my time helping others.

Besides, arrogant individuals only care about themselves. You'd probably be on FB posting 1.000 pics of you on a daily basis and talking only about how great and cool you are.

 

[BrokenInside]

No, you are not arrogant Arrogant people are self-centered and inconsiderate in general. You might be arrogant in your head but as long as you treat others nicely, i really don't have any problem with that

 

[Rosebolt]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, i really appreciate it!

But I think that if you meet and/or hangout with a lot of people and you've never heard a whisper about being arrogant then you're probably just feeling slightly paranoid. I don't think you sound arrogant anyway...

This was what i was afraid of to hear. I mean, that i'm slightly paranoid is nothing new to me, i actually like it that way. I guess this works in my mind as a confirmation that i'm indeed an attention seeker, well, in this thread that is. Something tells me you don't mean it that way though, i'll try to focus on that. Sorry for the trouble.

as long as you're not bragging about it.

As long as you're not bragging, I don't think you're arrogant.

Thanks for this kind of advice especially, i think that's a missing piece of the puzzle i was missing, though it sounds so easy now that i read it. All i have to do now is get a clear view for myself what i would consider bragging, and then i'm done dealing with this fear. I don't think that will be hard though, i think i already kind of know that. Thanks alot, again, for helping me kill another fear.

The manner in how one communicates makes a world of difference. To determine whether one is being arrogant or not in text can be difficult (especially if there is a lack of expression) and misinterpretation occurs in any form of communication for that matter.

Good post, i didn't think of that part yet either. So much for my intelligence, haha. Nah that was a joke, anyway, you're right there, and there is nothing much i can add to it.

Arrogant people are self-centered and inconsiderate in general. You might be arrogant in your head but as long as you treat others nicely, i really don't have any problem with that

The first line makes sense as well, i don't see myself as either of those. And the rest, all i can do is laugh. The arrogance in my head will be beyond measure and no one will know!

I don't think you're arrogant. If you were, you wouldn't be here trying to help us and giving us advice. An arrogant person would probably say: I'm not gonna waste my time helping others.

Besides, arrogant individuals only care about themselves. You'd probably be on FB posting 1.000 pics of you on a daily basis and talking only about how great and cool you are.

Thank you, both for the reassurance and for the laugh from the reminder about these soulless people that go on fb doing such things.

I think you're right about them not wanting to spend time in helping others.

All in all, i know i said it alot, but thank you guys, i appreciate this greatly!