feel like i want to die

[terryjw84]

anybody else here ever get thoughts such as this ?, anybody else ever think they are simply incompatible with modern living, i mean work, relationships, the lot of it ?, sorry to be such a debbie downer here ? but anybody else relate ? and you simply see no way forward, of ever turning it round i mean, hopelessness is real i guess, anybody else ?

 

[okidoke]

Yep I regularly ask to die in my sleep when I go to bed, but I keep waking up.

 

[movinggirl]

I don't want to sound like a know it all. I will just say this. Life is meant to be cherished. It goes by so fast.

The way of thinking I hear is depression talking. It is an evil b*tch. It lies, it lies, it lies. It tells us nothing but lies.

 

[Unsigned]

Yep I regularly ask to die in my sleep when I go to bed, but I keep waking up.

Same and same.
Not sure what God has in store for the future.
But he sure ain't taking requests for the present...

 

[okidoke]

Same and same.
Not sure what God has in store for the future.
But he sure ain't taking requests for the present...

There just can’t be a god

 

[Running Alone]

Same and same.
Not sure what God has in store for the future.
But he sure ain't taking requests for the present...

I say something similar to myself often. A huge factor in my loneliness has been my lifelong journey of being single and rejected my seemingly all women. I know, I know, you should be able to find joy on your own, and for many stretches I do, but when your life is reaching the golden years and you're still running along alone, it crushes your spirit. That's where the thought pops up: "god may mean well as far as one's big picture is concerned (health, roof, wellbeing, friends, family, etc) but he sure ain't involved in the romance business, it's just clearly not his concern."

 

[Unsigned]

A huge factor in my loneliness has been my lifelong journey of being single and rejected my seemingly all women. I know, I know, you should be able to find joy on your own, and for many stretches I do, but when your life is reaching the golden years and you're still running along alone, it crushes your spirit.

This is also my situation...

 

[ardour]

I put myself in situations where I'm likely to feel this way.

Last night I spent a couple hours staring at youtube k pop stars followed by escaping into the past with old shows and music videos from decades ago. I certainly felt like I 'wanting to die' after that, but for some reason still end up doing it.

There's a lot of unresolved problems stemming from youth, bullying etc that I'm too lazy to really address. Along with this I continually fantasize about pairing up with a young woman, hanging around with less inhibited people in their 20s, finally experiencing what was missed. Not what you would call noble or profound, right?

I don't value my life because I don't value whatever it might hold in middle age and can't, or won't, adjust to current realities.

I would be very easy for someone to portray me as an aging creepy degenerate, because, well... guilty.

 

[TheSkaFish]

anybody else here ever get thoughts such as this ?, anybody else ever think they are simply incompatible with modern living, i mean work, relationships, the lot of it ?, sorry to be such a debbie downer here ? but anybody else relate ? and you simply see no way forward, of ever turning it round i mean, hopelessness is real i guess, anybody else ?

Yep, I feel this way more and more all the time.

I feel incompatible with modern living, because I feel like I'm not good at the things that the world just so happens to value most. I don't think I'm naturally good at them, and I'm not naturally interested either. That makes it even harder to be good at them, because it's hard to get good at something you don't really care about. I feel like I have to force myself to be someone I'm not, to try to fit into this world.

Everything seems worse than when I was younger too, so that just depresses me more.

And I also struggle with seeing a way forward, turning it around, and feeling hopeless. Most of the time, I struggle with getting interested in/caring about anything because I feel like I can't get good at it. And this in turn makes it impossible to have any pride or self-esteem, which makes me feel worse.

I don't feel very religious, but sometimes I think if I were a praying person, I would ask God to either turn on whatever genetic potential I have, or if not, then to please mercifully end it as quickly and painlessly as possible. If my life isn't going to get any better than it is right now, then I'm ready to go at any time. I only want to stick around if it's at all possible for me to have a better life.

I wouldn't want to my life to end without being 100% sure I have no potential, though. So I guess I'd like to get a genetic test/IQ test/aptitude test, before doing anything drastic.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I know the sentiment of this thread is quite dire and serious, but...



...

*sighs* Star Trek
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(use CC subtitles for optimal viewing experience!)