How do people do it?

[ensom]

Find someone they like who likes them back? Not only that, but find someone they like who likes them back and is in the position to be someone's significant other (no boyfriend/girlfriend)?

This just seems like such a hard thing for me, but people manage. People I have no idea how they could manage, manage. But I can't manage. Despite my abysmal self-esteem, I think I should be able to manage, but I just can't.

I have no problem finding women to fall in love with. It's finding one who feels the same way I do that's the difficult part.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

You know when you're little and things like algebra just seem so mystical and strange? How can you have letters in math?? Well when I was little I used to look at teenagers who were dating and it just baffled me. She likes him AND he likes her back?? But... there's just SOOO many people on the planet! There's so many just in their school! How does it happen? And even if they DO like each other, it's at the same time?? What???? AND then to top it all off, they like each other at the same time... Well how do they find out? Wait... she TOLD him?? He asked her out to a movie?? But... it's so scary! What if they get rejected? But then... it's just like algebra: it's mysterious and makes no sense, but I can still do it. Just like I still managed to find a love. Things happen when the time is right. The most important thing is to be the kind of person you would want to be around.

 

[ShybutHi]

I have no idea either. lol
It is impossible! Atleast for me anyway... I am not shallow at all but never had a girlfriend and I am 25. Probably one of the least desirable guy's on the planet because It take's me a long time to be comfortable around people I dont know and women are certainly not attracted to me physically either. Instant fail.

Guess how many friend's I have or have had that are female.




Good guess.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have been in love several times in my life. However, the girl has never felt the same way about me, so no relationship happens.

 

[ensom]

I have been in love several times in my life. However, the girl has never felt the same way about me, so no relationship happens.

Same issue here, friend. I fall in love so easily -- always with girls who show no romantic interest in me -- and hate myself whenever it happens.

 

[blackdot]

it's just like algebra: it's mysterious and makes no sense

Algebra made perfect logical sense.
dating makes no sense.

 

[VideoVidiVisum]

it's just like algebra: it's mysterious and makes no sense

Algebra made perfect logical sense.
dating makes no sense.

You took that out of context: I said when you're really little algebra seems so mysterious.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

it's just like algebra: it's mysterious and makes no sense

Algebra made perfect logical sense.
dating makes no sense.

You took that out of context: I said when you're really little algebra seems so mysterious.

Dating seems mysterious to those of us who have never been in relationships.

Including those of us who are older.

 

[blackdot]

You took that out of context: I said when you're really little algebra seems so mysterious.

My nephew was doing some algebra at the age of 4 years old. *laughs*

 

[ShybutHi]

What is this thing you speak of called "dating".

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I had a girlfriend once, when I was 11 years old.

We broke up after three weeks. She gave me back the bracelet that I gave her. Broke my heart!

Oh, you mean ADULT dating? Never heard of it!

 

[2eyedcyclops]

It is the most complicated thing ever. In my experience there is no perfect situation. Your eventually going to spend allot of time around each other. And when the initial "fun" part of the relationship wears off, the work starts. And the biggest thing is the T word. Tolerate.
Your going to have to tolerate honeysuckle in the relationship that doesn't make sense, or you don't agree with. And she is going to have to do the same. You have to rely on the other person to make it work and that is beyond your controll.

My advice in this is treat dating as an afterthought. Don't put all your effort into finding the right one.
Just do what makes you happy. you'll get some one that can tolerate you and vice versa

 

[putter65]

It is the most complicated thing ever. In my experience there is no perfect situation. Your eventually going to spend allot of time around each other. And when the initial "fun" part of the relationship wears off, the work starts. And the biggest thing is the T word. Tolerate.
Your going to have to tolerate honeysuckle in the relationship that doesn't make sense, or you don't agree with. And she is going to have to do the same. You have to rely on the other person to make it work and that is beyond your controll.

My advice in this is treat dating as an afterthought. Don't put all your effort into finding the right one.
Just do what makes you happy. you'll get some one that can tolerate you and vice versa

I agree with what you say.

I am 43 and have had hardly any dates. A few in 1996, but thats it. Last year I started seeing this woman. I am not even sure if I liked her that much. She was okay and she seemed to think I was okay. It wasn't love or anything like that.

I found out she lied to me over xmas and I stopped seeing her. We have kept in touch and yesterday I met her again for the first time in a month. It was okay nothing brilliant. God knows why I am still interested ? Maybe it's because she is willing to meet me and other women aren't interested. She's the first woman for 15 years willing to spend time with me. She is okay but I have met hundreds of women nicer than her. Trouble was none of them were interested.

 

[markyj82]

Unfortunatly in this world love is there but honesty and faithfulness is not. To find someone and to fall in love is the greatest emotional feeling. Our society is surrounded by alcohol, drugs and people who have no respect towards others and that affects relationships. I've learnt to not look for a partner and if someone appeals to me I start a simple conversation and go from there. People do have relationship's that seem perfect but you would be amazed how many relationships are abusive, controlling and not faithful. People put up with this many times becuase there scared to be single and alone. So when you say "how do they do it", with a lot of sadness, depression and low self esteem even if they seem ok to others.

People who fall in love and are faithful all the way, and have that connection are so lucky.

Stop looking and let it happen in due course, you can't make someone love you. It is one of the hardest feeling to find, I hope you find it someday.

---

You are not with the right person if you experience all of these issues.

 

[jjam]

I think the FIRST thing people need to do is master themselves.

Master yourself THEN take TIME to get to KNOW someone else before even attempting to make it official.

 

[markyj82]

well said spot on

 

[blackdot]

I think the FIRST thing people need to do is master themselves.

Master yourself THEN take TIME to get to KNOW someone else before even attempting to make it official.

Unfortunately if you take that route then you are screwed (and not in a good way).
I did that. Then when I was ready to know someone else, there wasn't anyone else left to know.

 

[SophiaGrace]

it's just like algebra: it's mysterious and makes no sense

Algebra made perfect logical sense.
dating makes no sense.

You took that out of context: I said when you're really little algebra seems so mysterious.

I'm 23 and Algebra is STILL mysterious to me. >.>

 

[Aube]

What is this thing you speak of called "dating".

There is not always ''dating'' happening. Sometimes you're just regularly in a place, whether it's work, sports, activity of other kind and then, you connect with someone else for a period of time until one day, you're starting a relationship

 

[markyj82]

If you find your real self and live YOUR way it should'nt matter if there is know one else, there are people out there, instead of being so negative be positive and patient, if you master patience you become clear from wordly cares.