People are attracted to different things and what one person finds attractive someone else might not. I have always been attracted to slightly quirky looking guys, a close friend of mine once remarked that what other people tended to see as flaws of a person in their looks I found attractive,but then i'm slightly odd myself.
How to look good?
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M_also_lonely
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Serephina said:
True but when all peole around you have same feelings about you, you dont have anyone who understands you. So, they find you wierd. And so it becomes a challenge to get up and go to college. And ot is easy to say "ignore them, follow you dream" ,but when the environment around you constantly keeps on demotivating you, you cannot focus on progress.
So you become lonely as you dont have anybody to listen to u.
And so an inferiority complex arises that causes false beliefs conquer you. When you find that you have done a lot for making others happy, and nobody is there to listen to what you want to say, you start believing that helping selflessly has no meaning.
So you start to find, how actually can get you a friend. So you look around and find a person who has a lot of friends. You see that he is a smart person, attractive and fun loving. So you try to become like thaat so that you may make friends and share your emotions. But then you find that to be like that, you already need to be like that.
Like, why would a customer choose a new product when he is already satisfied with older one? So you should have something that nobody else has....Or atleast that can make people happy. But to make people happy, you need to be happy first. But you are making them happy because you want to be happy. This cycle goes on and on...
Ohh sorry, I dont know what I just said.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
TheRealCallie said:
Well, I'm ugly with a weird voice. Go me! That trophy is mine for the taking.
Triple Bogey said:
Although some people may not consider frowns unattractive. Some may not like smiles. You agree with the statement I made, yet argue it anyway. Odd.
Serephina said:
Quirky is good. I didn't start liking a certain type until Left 4 Dead 2. So quirky is good. Very good.
Despicable Me
Well-known member
M_also_lonely said:
That's not really true, exactly.M_also_lonely said:
Intelligence is earned. It's something you must earn through study and interest in the world. Despite how the world sees it as something you're born with, they are wrong - it factually can't work that way. Knowledge doesn't come through magical revelations, it comes through learning.
Attractiveness is something that is entirely subjective, as Serephina pointed out. Some people like one thing and others like something else.
Fun-Loving is something everyone has - everyone loves to have fun. More importantly, everyone loves to have fun in different ways, so again it is subjective.
So no, you don't have to already be like that, exactly. People ARE already like that, except for being smart. They have to earn that. Otherwise it's just about finding the right person who matches you. Finding the right pieces to finish the puzzle. Finding the people who like the way you look and likes the way you have fun.
It is a cycle, yeah... but one you kind of have to force your way out of. A cycle you have to break with a lot of courage and a lot of hard work and perseverance.M_also_lonely said:
It is hard, yeah. And just being happy isn't exactly the right way to put it. You don't need to be happy to be with someone. You just need to be happy with yourself, at least a little bit. More accurately, you really just need to know yourself, your real self. And not be clouded by faulty judgement, especially when it comes from others. Happiness comes later, and there are different kinds of happiness.
You don't need to have a smile on every minute to find others who like you for who you are. A good smile means nothing if it is not meant. You just need to know how to smile and just do it occasionally, and how to enjoy a good moment without thinking about all the negative things. Mostly, you just need to know that those negative things can't keep you down forever, and that you will do your best to enjoy life and be the person who you want to become. That is what really matters.
It's hard to overlook a lot of rejection. It's hard to see what is really there. It's hard to see past all the illusions, all the deception, and all the confusion. But the most important thing is just that you try, and you pick yourself up again and again when you fall down. Never stay down.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Despicable Me said:M_also_lonely said:
That's not really true, exactly.M_also_lonely said:
Intelligence is earned. It's something you must earn through study and interest in the world. Despite how the world sees it as something you're born with, they are wrong - it factually can't work that way. Knowledge doesn't come through magical revelations, it comes through learning.
Attractiveness is something that is entirely subjective, as Serephina pointed out. Some people like one thing and others like something else.
Fun-Loving is something everyone has - everyone loves to have fun. More importantly, everyone loves to have fun in different ways, so again it is subjective.
So no, you don't have to already be like that, exactly. People ARE already like that, except for being smart. They have to earn that. Otherwise it's just about finding the right person who matches you. Finding the right pieces to finish the puzzle. Finding the people who like the way you look and likes the way you have fun.
It is a cycle, yeah... but one you kind of have to force your way out of. A cycle you have to break with a lot of courage and a lot of hard work and perseverance.M_also_lonely said:
It is hard, yeah. And just being happy isn't exactly the right way to put it. You don't need to be happy to be with someone. You just need to be happy with yourself, at least a little bit. More accurately, you really just need to know yourself, your real self. And not be clouded by faulty judgement, especially when it comes from others. Happiness comes later, and there are different kinds of happiness.
You don't need to have a smile on every minute to find others who like you for who you are. A good smile means nothing if it is not meant. You just need to know how to smile and just do it occasionally, and how to enjoy a good moment without thinking about all the negative things. Mostly, you just need to know that those negative things can't keep you down forever, and that you will do your best to enjoy life and be the person who you want to become. That is what really matters.
It's hard to overlook a lot of rejection. It's hard to see what is really there. It's hard to see past all the illusions, all the deception, and all the confusion. But the most important thing is just that you try, and you pick yourself up again and again when you fall down. Never stay down.
Agree....But as uyou say, I have to know my real self. What does it mean and how to do that?
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
And why is everyone calling me OP ? What is that?
ABrokenMan
Well-known member
OP = original poster (person who first started the thread).
I've always been attracted to those who are not afraid to be or express themselves. to me, that means they do not care what others may think.
In my eyes a girl can be sexy in jeans and a Ramones T-shirt, as well as a cool vintage dress / skirt.
anyone who doesn't follow the current "in vogue" style automatically garners my attention.
I've always dressed "different". i still have / wear my hair long at my age, still wear black jeans out and about, lots of jerseys, rarely a shirt and tie (I hate ties with a passion). Formality ain't my bag.
I've always been attracted to those who are not afraid to be or express themselves. to me, that means they do not care what others may think.
In my eyes a girl can be sexy in jeans and a Ramones T-shirt, as well as a cool vintage dress / skirt.
anyone who doesn't follow the current "in vogue" style automatically garners my attention.
I've always dressed "different". i still have / wear my hair long at my age, still wear black jeans out and about, lots of jerseys, rarely a shirt and tie (I hate ties with a passion). Formality ain't my bag.
Despicable Me
Well-known member
That's a very good question... but it's hard to put into words, exactly. I'll try to describe it.M_also_lonely said:
It's really just being happy with who you are and knowing who you want to be.
Like, for example, not wanting your face to look different, which isn't really possible. And simply realizing that appearances are subjective and that a good person that will love you will love you no matter how you look.
There are times when you should still want to 'look your best', like dressing up for formal occasions, wanting to wear clean clothes, and having a hairstyle that you like, but those can be things just for you, not for other people. Things you do because you want to do them, not because other people want you to. And it's about thinking you look nice in the mirror when you do them.
Other times it might be just knowing what you want to do with your life and trying your best to get there (and not feeling miserable when it doesn't go your way every time). As you explained in your other topic, you aimed to be the top of your class and you did it. That's was a very healthy attitude and you should always keep trying for things like that.
It's also not being desperate to be with someone. Not 'needing' them to be happy with yourself, but just understanding that this is a desire and that you just want someone to share your love with. Becoming desperate makes relationships about you and you forget the other person and their feelings. You have to remember it's not just about you, it's about two different people. It's also realizing that some people just aren't meant to be together, even if it hurts.
Overall, knowing yourself is mostly just a good maturity and having a healthy perspective on life. Not always looking down, and never allowing yourself to get desperate or become very negative. Just being able to look in the mirror every day and being able to smile - because you're you and because you're truly unique and one-of-a-kind.
To become really good at knowing yourself means to be able to enjoy the little moments as well as the big ones, and to not let even the worst moments stop you from carrying on and still being a positive person. For example, enjoying the beauty of the world on a wonderful day, and generally just taking joy in the simple moments.
It also means to accept loss when loss comes, because we all have loss in our lives it is part of being human, and to be able to move forward despite how awful it may seem, to still see the beauty in each day, every day, even though we have lost.
Being able to do these things, that's the difference between knowing yourself and not knowing yourself.
Triple Bogey
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M_also_lonely said:
Original poster. The person who started the thread.
Rainbows
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Had this conversation with my bf just now. He didn't believe me when I said that I thought he was handsome bc society has told him multiple times that he's ugly (He's not ugly at all, screw those people who made him think that, it bothered me so much to see the look in his eyes. )
Like the others said, don't surround you with people who give attention to that, find yourself someone who doesn't give a fresia!
) Like the others said, don't surround you with people who give attention to that, find yourself someone who doesn't give a fresia!
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Rainbows said:Had this conversation with my bf just now. He didn't believe me when I said that I thought he was handsome bc society has told him multiple times that he's ugly (He's not ugly at all, screw those people who made him think that, it bothered me so much to see the look in his eyes.
Like the others said, don't surround you with people who give attention to that, find yourself someone who doesn't give a fresia!
He shouldn't care if he is pretty or not. You still like him and want to be with him. That's the important thing.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Well, I was not talking about beauty that we get by haircut and all...I am talking about natural beauty. Like a singer for whom people get crazy, and injure themselves because he leaves the band, who is never going to come to them and talk to them. Still people do it, because he looks handsome.
On the other side, somebody who cares for one out of those people, who can do anything for that person, but nobody bothers to think about that and nobody notices him because he is not good in looks.
Ok whatever, dont you think that the attention which that singer recieves is actually deserved by the 2nd person?
Imagine, 10000 people in a hall, applauding, shouting his name and getting mad to meet him, just because he is a good person, even though he has no special talents and looks. Its just that people are so crazy, because he is a good person.
Why doesnt that thing happen?
Do you really know what kind of person that singer is, in real life?
So it means, good looks are worshipped versus good nature.
On the other side, somebody who cares for one out of those people, who can do anything for that person, but nobody bothers to think about that and nobody notices him because he is not good in looks.
Ok whatever, dont you think that the attention which that singer recieves is actually deserved by the 2nd person?
Imagine, 10000 people in a hall, applauding, shouting his name and getting mad to meet him, just because he is a good person, even though he has no special talents and looks. Its just that people are so crazy, because he is a good person.
Why doesnt that thing happen?
Do you really know what kind of person that singer is, in real life?
So it means, good looks are worshipped versus good nature.
L
lonelyfairy
Guest
Smile can make anyone look good and attractive.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
lonelyfairy said:Smile can make anyone look good and attractive.
Everyone says that, nobody accepts that. Imagine, two stranger men, (stranger to each other too) . 1st handsome and rich and etc etc etc. gives a smile at you. You return a smile. 2nd not good by looks, but likes you, smiles at you, you dont return the smile.
Dont say no, I have seen it. And I have experienced it. And I have felt it.
No matter whatever you say, women behave the same way as I mentioned above.
Yes, smile makes one look attractive, but only to those, who are already attractive. Like you see a handsome guy, he smiles, you say, "see, his smile makes him attractive." huh...
The whole world says, "Its not the looks" but follows "Wow, he is so handsome"
Now many will say "Thats not true" but actually thats not true.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
M_also_lonely said:
Or not all of us do. I usually don't get pissed at generalizations because I know I'm not a part of them. I think for myself, and I can certainly defend myself. But if you're going to have the audacity to make a thread about a topic such as this, at least have the common courtesy not to toss around simple-minded, archaic, fatuous, stereo-typical ideals as facts because you happen to never come across someone who could open your mind to the world around you.
People are people. There will be ones who prove you right, and ones who prove you wrong. Let's hope for the latter for the sake of common sense.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Well, I was not talking about beauty that we get by haircut
and all...I am talking about natural beauty. Like a singer for
whom people get crazy, and injure themselves because he
leaves the band, who is never going to come to them and
talk to them. Still people do it, because he looks handsome.
On the other side, somebody who cares for one out of those
people, who can do anything for that person, but nobody
bothers to think about that and nobody notices him because
he is not good in looks.
Ok whatever, dont you think that the attention which that
singer recieves is actually deserved by the 2nd person?
Imagine, 10000 people in a hall, applauding, shouting his
name and getting mad to meet him, just because he is a
good person, even though he has no special talents and
looks. Its just that people are so crazy, because he is a
good person.
Why doesnt that thing happen?
Do you really know what kind of person that singer is, in
real life?
So it means, good looks are worshipped versus good
nature.
and all...I am talking about natural beauty. Like a singer for
whom people get crazy, and injure themselves because he
leaves the band, who is never going to come to them and
talk to them. Still people do it, because he looks handsome.
On the other side, somebody who cares for one out of those
people, who can do anything for that person, but nobody
bothers to think about that and nobody notices him because
he is not good in looks.
Ok whatever, dont you think that the attention which that
singer recieves is actually deserved by the 2nd person?
Imagine, 10000 people in a hall, applauding, shouting his
name and getting mad to meet him, just because he is a
good person, even though he has no special talents and
looks. Its just that people are so crazy, because he is a
good person.
Why doesnt that thing happen?
Do you really know what kind of person that singer is, in
real life?
So it means, good looks are worshipped versus good
nature.
H
HoodedMonk
Guest
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
HoodedMonk said:
However, the term "Lookism" was first coined in the 1970s within the fat acceptance movement. It was used in The Washington Post Magazine in 1978, which asserted that the term was coined by "fat people" who created the word to refer to "discrimination based on looks." The word appears in several major English language dictionaries.
That's all I needed to read from that Wiki page.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
VanillaCreme said:
Agree with Nilla here.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
All these posts when it is obvious looks give you an advantage.
But it isn't everything. A good looking person who is rude won't get very far.
If you aren't that good looking then always try and look your best. Wear smart, interesting clothes.
Keep yourself clean. And smile because that's the real key. Loads of miserable people out there, not that many happy ones.
Stop moaning and complaining about your luck. Be positive, be happy. People will like you !
But it isn't everything. A good looking person who is rude won't get very far.
If you aren't that good looking then always try and look your best. Wear smart, interesting clothes.
Keep yourself clean. And smile because that's the real key. Loads of miserable people out there, not that many happy ones.
Stop moaning and complaining about your luck. Be positive, be happy. People will like you !
