9006 said:
Felix said:
No, I don't think it's possible to overcome deep problems by just thinking possitive.
It takes a slow learning/growing process. I thinik I'm doing that in therapy, slowly I'm knowing more and more about myself and why I'm like this.
So you don't think some people are better at overcoming things than others?
Yes, some are in fact better than others.
But what I mean is no one is gonna overcome anything by themselves by just thinking possitive. You're just gonna slip it under the rug. In some cases, people can overcome things by talking to their friends, a teacher, a relative; someone wise. I don't have that so I have no other option than going into therapy. You see it all the time here... people are dealing with a lot of negative emotions, they have trouble handlig those emotions by themselves and they start taking it out on others, last example is that guy retrospective-something...
Possivie thinking is good. Is just not enough to overcome something.
Many times we look at someone and he/she seems like it has it all together, sucessful, meantally healthy, smart... My dad is like that. He's also openly optimistic about life. That's the way my dad seems to others but if you knew him in his private life you'd know he's got little to none contact with his emotions. He can't connect to anyone, and he has violent outbursts.
That's the price of slipping it under the rug. He couldn't form a real bond with his sons, and he can't deal at all with his past.
We look at people all the time in the media, famuos and rich people that seem to have perfect lives and they seem strong, like they can overcome everything by themselves. But what's the price of that? Is that facade real? I have my doubts. Can you be trully possitive if you don't have any clue as to why you fresia up every relationship, if you don't know where that anger comes from or whatever your problem is? You're sugar coating your own honeysuckle, and guess what, it will start to smell bad at some point. So I say, deal with that honeysuckle first and then sugar coat all you want...
It annoys me a little... I'm actually done expressing my point, but I'd like to add that it annoys me becasue this is western thinking at it's worst. Everything fast, express, light-hearted. Superficial.
I don't have time to deal with my own emotions, the only thing that makes me special as a human being so I'm just gonna burry them beneath a pile of optimism and hope for the best. If anything happens, that's why we have drugs, right?People don't even get achance to think that they need to stop for a while and think. They don't even get to think about that because the denial is automatic. I've been there myself... But guess what, the time of your human mind/emotins is much slower than what society's been making you believe. And if you have serious problems, most likely nothing is gonna be solved fast, and much less painless.
Please don't take this personally, these are just my toghts about this in general... I just think it's a shame that we're somehow lead to believe in false solutions and quick/simplistic/painless way outs. It's really sad when people don't deal with their problems and their past. They get stuck in life and are never trully happy. That's the way my parents are. They've done relatively well in life but to me it has become aparent that they carry this weight and it has held them back to have a more fulfilling life.