More men are single and lonely then ever before. The solution? They need to man-up.

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michael2

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:cautious:

When is the world going to realize telling men to 'man up' in the face of their problems is obscenely sexist? Because its cold, unloving, and reeks of the sexist stereotype that men should never complain about anything and should just 'man up' no matter what crap comes their way? This is why male suicides are so high. We are constantly told we arent a 'man' if we raise concerns about our problems. And when a man feels his problems are overwhelming, he kills him self in silent shame for not being able to 'man up'. It's absolute garbage and the people who proliferate this nonsense need to stop, now.

The article details how everything has turned against men. Yet the article's advice to men is to head to the gym, get a six pack, and up your game. Of course lets never even remotely consider the possibility that women just might be doing something wrong, like not taking long term commitment as seriously as they use to. This of course led to the male alternate, the 'mansphere' where men vow to match that female trend and refuse to commit long term to a woman.

Remember we live in the same society that tells women it's OK to be overweight and even glorifies obesity by putting plus size models on magazine covers and using plus size mannequins in department stores. Funny how nobody told these overweight women to 'woman up' , hit the gym and get a 6 pack when they felt offended by thin women. There's nobody telling me it's OK I dont have Zac Effron's body. Its the exact opposite! I'm being told to haul my ass to the gym and get his body ASAP if I want a chance at a relationship.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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The dating pool is the wrong reason to exercise and try to get into shape.
The only dating reason you should be trying to exercise and get into shape for is because you have a dinner date with Death and you want to look the best for him/her.
If you're exercising and trying to get into shape for any other dating reason, it's the wrong reason.

Where's Robert Frank when I need him to be like: "Don't worry about the girl, worry about the gym."
 

TropicalStarfish

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I was going to bang out this awesome post that made a lot of valid points, lol.

Nobody gives a ****, though.

Life's unfair, what are you going to do?

For me, the answer isn't, 'upping my mental health game,' as stated in the article, and, 'improving my lot in life so I become more desirable.' Women are often attracted to conmen, sociopaths, and narcissists; because such men, are high in confidence, and low in empathy. The successful one's achieve status, power, and money, and may even be wildly attractive and buff to boot. The successful one's can read you like a book, break you down, and get what they want from you while having you believe whatever they need you to, so they can get it. And if you aren't useful anymore, then they discard you. This happens to men too, possibly more so; but, you will hear about it less, because, ya know, we're _men_ damnit.. And I'm not sure all of that even needs to be viewed clinically. There's no need to use a scalpel to butter bread. We're all human. At our best, most of us, at one time or another, or perhaps more often than not, are selfish, awful creatures, that every once in a while, manage to display a glimmer of humanity.

It's just as simple as, you are fortunate to know you aren't an eligible bachelour and also, to not particularly care. The hard bit, is when you know you occupy a large swath of the loser land trust, and there is little you can do about it, _and_, you desperately want a relationship.

I could be wrong cuz I dunno, I'm an idiot on the internet; but, I think the number one problem to work on, in the above situation, is the _desperation_ part. Rid yourself of that first, and then you are just a loser, rather than a desperate loser; and being a loser, isn't really so bad, cuz you can't have winners without losers, and some one has to do it.

And then, if you're just a loser, your kind of free, in a way. With all the expectation and pressure gone, paradoxically, such a situation may end up being beneficial.
 
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CenotaphGirl

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Honestly…. I find the level of lonely men… insane. I have no idea what the solution is, but men have changed, they never used to be like this. Telling them to change back is useless because they simply cant. I feel women are to blame but even pointing that out is… well… pointless?

I think the confusion is pretending men and women are the same and equal. In my opinion… we are not. Tough pill to swallow, but I swallowed it real quick, I’ve been punched by a man, instantly wet myself and could not move, no woman, has ever, done that to me. This was no champion boxer. Just a normal man.

So what is the other tough pill to swallow ? Men and women typically want different things, many men like overweight women, men like young women. Most women like strong men, forget the abs and blah blah, what we like (not all but most check the stats…for the women who are going to harp on about how much they like men who are weak) is to feel protected. If men are not going to be that pilar for women, most women will just date each other or simply not date anyone and swing from one man to the next, a mans ultimate value to me is his strength, mine to him is my youth and ability to provide him children… it sucks but there you go.
 

CenotaphGirl

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Part of the agenda.

Everything is by design. 🤷‍♀️
Quick Jewels throw me the blue or the red pill you took 😂🙈 I want to get out of the matrix but i’ve never watched it and I just have no idea what colour I need to take.

At some point this really starts to seem like some sick agenda for population control but then the states pull an abortion ban out their back pockets… to throw us off the scent?
 

michael2

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I was going to bang out this awesome post that made a lot of valid points, lol.

Nobody gives a ****, though.

Life's unfair, what are you going to do?

For me, the answer isn't, 'upping my mental health game,' as stated in the article, and, 'improving my lot in life so I become more desirable.' Women are often attracted to conmen, sociopaths, and narcissists; because such men, are high in confidence, and low in empathy. The successful one's achieve status, power, and money, and may even be wildly attractive and buff to boot. The successful one's can read you like a book, break you down, and get what they want from you while having you believe whatever they need you to, so they can get it. And if you aren't useful anymore, then they discard you. This happens to men too, possibly more so; but, you will hear about it less, because, ya know, we're _men_ damnit.. And I'm not sure all of that even needs to be viewed clinically. There's no need to use a scalpel to butter bread. We're all human. At our best, most of us, at one time or another, or perhaps more often than not, are selfish, awful creatures, that every once in a while, manage to display a glimmer of humanity.

It's just as simple as, you are fortunate to know you aren't an eligible bachelour and also, to not particularly care. The hard bit, is when you know you occupy a large swath of the loser land trust, and there is little you can do about it, _and_, you desperately want a relationship.

I could be wrong cuz I dunno, I'm an idiot on the internet; but, I think the number one problem to work on, in the above situation, is the _desperation_ part. Rid yourself of that first, and then you are just a loser, rather than a desperate loser; and being a loser, isn't really so bad, cuz you can't have winners without losers, and some one has to do it.

And then, if you're just a loser, your kind of free, in a way. With all the expectation and pressure gone, paradoxically, such a situation may end up being beneficial.

A single life isnt bad. I just wish I didnt have this perpetual desire to be with a woman. It's simple biology. I'm hard wired to want to be with a woman. You cant turn it off. So it's going to gnaw at my brain until I find someone.

Honestly…. I find the level of lonely men… insane. I have no idea what the solution is, but men have changed, they never used to be like this. Telling them to change back is useless because they simply cant. I feel women are to blame but even pointing that out is… well… pointless?

I think the confusion is pretending men and women are the same and equal. In my opinion… we are not. Tough pill to swallow, but I swallowed it real quick, I’ve been punched by a man, instantly wet myself and could not move, no woman, has ever, done that to me. This was no champion boxer. Just a normal man.

So what is the other tough pill to swallow ? Men and women typically want different things, many men like overweight women, men like young women. Most women like strong men, forget the abs and blah blah, what we like (not all but most check the stats…for the women who are going to harp on about how much they like men who are weak) is to feel protected. If men are not going to be that pilar for women, most women will just date each other or simply not date anyone and swing from one man to the next, a mans ultimate value to me is his strength, mine to him is my youth and ability to provide him children… it sucks but there you go.

About confusing men and women to be the same and equal - I agree. Men and women are not equal. In general, they expect different things from eachother. However society is obsessed with making men and women equal, when they are not. And this obsession to force them into being equals has caused just as much harm as it as fixed. It's like the pendulum swung way too far in the opposite direction.

For me a woman's ultimate value is her empathy, and tenderness. In plain English her 'girly' side, her soft side. This is very attractive to me because it's different from me and I find it endearing. Sadly, many of the women I run across nowadays are not like that at all. The last woman I tried to get to know even bragged about how tough and un-sensitive she was. Imagine how devastated I was discovering as we talked that I was the more sympathetic, compassionate, feeling person. For you to understand how this feels imagine dating a guy and discovering you were physically stronger then him, more assertive, and braver then he was. Basically everything you wanted your partner to bring to the relationship you did better. Anyways, I'm sorry that man abused his strength in hitting you. It didnt matter what you said or did, it was inexcusable for him to do that to someone who couldnt defend themselves.

So yeah, like how many men are less and less masculine many women are no longer feminine. And it's all because society decided to glamorize feminine men (simps, Harry Styles) and toxic masculine women (the plethora of 'strong' female characters in contemporary film). Again this happened because people dont want to believe that men and women are innately different. They want to believe men and women are somehow interchangeable, which is absolutely absurd.
 

ardour

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"For me a woman's ultimate value is her empathy, and tenderness."

Could you honestly say you would date someone who looked like Roseanne Bar or Susan Boyle if they happened to have those qualities? Inevitably there are going to be women you wouldn't find attractive either. The positive side of the gym advice is that it's a simple, straightforward course of action that is at least doable for most, and worth a try at least.

...What, are you busy with something else right now?
 
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CenotaphGirl

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A single life isnt bad. I just wish I didnt have this perpetual desire to be with a woman. It's simple biology. I'm hard wired to want to be with a woman. You cant turn it off. So it's going to gnaw at my brain until I find someone.



About confusing men and women to be the same and equal - I agree. Men and women are not equal. In general, they expect different things from eachother. However society is obsessed with making men and women equal, when they are not. And this obsession to force them into being equals has caused just as much harm as it as fixed. It's like the pendulum swung way too far in the opposite direction.

For me a woman's ultimate value is her empathy, and tenderness. In plain English her 'girly' side, her soft side. This is very attractive to me because it's different from me and I find it endearing. Sadly, many of the women I run across nowadays are not like that at all. The last woman I tried to get to know even bragged about how tough and un-sensitive she was. Imagine how devastated I was discovering as we talked that I was the more sympathetic, compassionate, feeling person. For you to understand how this feels imagine dating a guy and discovering you were physically stronger then him, more assertive, and braver then he was. Basically everything you wanted your partner to bring to the relationship you did better. Anyways, I'm sorry that man abused his strength in hitting you. It didnt matter what you said or did, it was inexcusable for him to do that to someone who couldnt defend themselves.

So yeah, like how many men are less and less masculine many women are no longer feminine. And it's all because society decided to glamorize feminine men (simps, Harry Styles) and toxic masculine women (the plethora of 'strong' female characters in contemporary film). Again this happened because people dont want to believe that men and women are innately different. They want to believe men and women are somehow interchangeable, which is absolutely absurd.
Yes, yeps, this is what I feel, I dont feel men and women are the same, and I feel like men want me to be attracted to their feminine side that I dont not wish to see. Plenty of women want to see that stuff but they are a masculine, loud minority who shame the rest of us into silence. Wanting to be feminine and a housewife to your husband is seen as being a gold digging sex worker, so who is going to aspire to be that?

"For me a woman's ultimate value is her empathy, and tenderness."

Could you honestly say you would date someone who looked like Roseanne Bar or Susan Boyle if they happened to have those qualities? Inevitably there are going to be women you wouldn't find attractive either. The positive side of the gym advice is that it's a simple, straightforward course of action that is at least doable for most and worth a try.

The power average men have in the dating scene to set themselves apart is in avoiding appearing desperate, not openly seeking approval. It's shocking how many men have a strategy that boils down to groveling for attention and pestering someone who clearly isn't interested. Just on this forum for instance.
Honestly, I do think men should go to the gym, get off these mind warping games and porn sites for an hour a day, there is nothing wrong with that advice. Lool Ardour, you are so bad, but yes, grovelling for attention is not cute. I think some things are simply not fair, it's not fair that pregnancy is all on the woman, it's not fair men are often so much stronger and taller and more rational. Men also have to accept somethings... It's not fair that women will never struggle to get a man as much as you will struggle to get a woman. Simples. The only way for men to reclaim their throne is to start marrying again. Make a woman's value connected to marriage. Men control marriage. But most women know, the man they are married to would sleep with me in 10 seconds flat simply because i'm under 25, fit, and friendly. So then marriage isn't worth much...
 

insecure

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:cautious:

When is the world going to realize telling men to 'man up' in the face of their problems is obscenely sexist? Because its cold, unloving, and reeks of the sexist stereotype that men should never complain about anything and should just 'man up' no matter what crap comes their way? This is why male suicides are so high. We are constantly told we arent a 'man' if we raise concerns about our problems. And when a man feels his problems are overwhelming, he kills him self in silent shame for not being able to 'man up'. It's absolute garbage and the people who proliferate this nonsense need to stop, now.
I feel like a totally untypical man, I am not a macho, and I don't want to become one.
I try to do some sports, but this is not so as to look more attractive, but more because it is healthier.
I think the people who write this kind of article have a complete lack of empathy, and think that what works for them should work for everyone.
It's the kind of failed logic such as "I wear glasses, I've never had a problem with finding a partner, so everyone should wear glasses".
The last thing I want is to pretend to be someone I am not, just to be attractive to a certain woman.
If a woman likes me, or even loves me, I want it to be for loving me, not for being in love with some kind of stereotypical male.
 

Deosil

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Articles like these are designed to prey on minority groups who are vulnerable to sell magazines imho.
 
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TheRealCallie

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Articles like these are designed to prey on minority groups who are vulnerable to sell magazines imho.
Of course they are. It's click bait. and people fall for it...every single time.

There are stereotypes for every gender, race, profession, literally anything that involves people. So what. Be your own ******* person and stop relying on bullshit words to try to make you be something else. But yes, you do need to "man up".....everyone does, even if they aren't a man. Doesn't matter how you say it or what words you use to say it. It's the truth. Stop blaming other things and start fixing yourself. Buck the **** up and be the person you want to be. Or at least start working toward it.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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Articles like these are designed to prey on minority groups who are vulnerable to sell magazines imho.

People have a tendency to forget that search engines are mechanical and inorganic.
So of course if you search for male inadequacy, you're going to receive search results about male inadequacy. Just like if I searched for chocolate ice cream, I'd probably get search results about the age-old "chocolate or vanilla" debate. The trouble is, that the average internet user fails to realize the operator error in their application of the search. So if you go searching for "why don't women like me" etc. you will get search results for communities of men and articles about men who are struggling with women as their main problem in their lives. You get what you search for because you searched for it.
 

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