Online Dating?

[TheRealCallie]

Just in passing though, back to topic, I never got the whole rejection thing being a blocker. I mean sure, it hurts, but considering the 2 for 1 ratio of female vs male on this planet?
I always figured guys got it easier.
Because we can afford to be dicks with more than one woman. That's a POWERFUL weapon in our arsenals.

I'm sorry, but you have to victimize yourself since you're a man.  You don't want to be ignorant too, do you? 

Also, you haven't been rejected your entire life, so you couldn't possibly know or understand. (I'm just saving a few from having to post this again)

GUYS HAVE IT SOOOOOO BAD.  MY GENDER COULD NEVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

 

[user 139760]

I'm sorry, but you have to victimize yourself since you're a man.  You don't want to be ignorant too, do you? 

Also, you haven't been rejected your entire life, so you couldn't possibly know or understand. (I'm just saving a few from having to post this again)

GUYS HAVE IT SOOOOOO BAD.  MY GENDER COULD NEVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE.

Oh right, honeysuckle, forgot, apologies.
Um, I am in pain.
My mother was evil and manipulative, she was a Vixen to my dad, who looks like an older version of Tom Seleck, but with actual sex appeal.
Woe is me.

 

[kamya]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

It's pretty much 1:1

It's not that rejection is the issue. It's the amount of it that the average guy has to go through to get anything, IF they are lucky enough to get anything at all. While women can put in minimal effort and still have men come to them for her to pick whichever one interests them.

The original comment I made was basically about having the option of being friends first and then having it develop into something more. This is a strategy that very rarely works for the vast majority of men out there. Which sucks because IMO I prefer getting closer through friendship first. 

And then in a post afterwards I only stated that its easier for women to have their pick. I wasn't trying to argue that women have easy lives or have no problems at all in the dating world. Again, you bring unrelated crap into what I'm claiming to try to discredit it instead of arguing against anything I'm ACTUALLY saying. Instead we just like to ignore the points and make vaguely related tangents and argue those points and pretend as if they were the original issue.

 

[user 139760]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

It's pretty much 1:1

It's not that rejection is the issue. It's the amount of it that the average guy has to go through to get anything, IF they are lucky enough to get anything at all. While women can put in minimal effort and still have men come to them for her pick whichever one interests them.

The original comment I made was basically about having the option of being friends first and then having it develop into something more. This is a strategy that very rarely works for the vast majority of men out there. Which sucks because IMO I prefer getting closer through friendship first. 

And then in a post afterwards I only stated that its easier for women to have their pick. I wasn't trying to argue that women have easy lives or have no problems at all in the dating world. Again, you bring unrelated crap into what I'm claiming to try to discredit it instead of arguing against anything I'm ACTUALLY saying. Instead we just like to ignore the points and make vaguely related tangents and argue those points and pretend as if they were the original issue.

LOL
I wasn't picking on you. That just hasn't been my experience. And I stand corrected, thank you, haven't really brushed up on this info since I was a babe in high school. (**** shame though, there go my plans for having a harem when I'm 90)

I used to be, though. When I was younger, used to be the "nice-guy" trope. Had much the same opinions as you do. Probably still do to an extent, sometimes, I don't think it's all that unreasonable in some cases.
However, I made a choice, long time ago.
I chose never to blame a group, or an ensemble, or a race or a sex, for the actions of a few against me.
In the end, made myself view things differently. Got plenty of anger toward girlfolk sometimes. But I still love my mother. My sister. My daughters. And they don't fit in any of those statistics (as my sister's 300 some-odd pound boyfriend might attest).
I think the dating world is more of a viewpoint problem than a sex (male-female)problem. But hey, that's my point of view ;-)
For example, I was on POF (Plenty of Fish) for about 2 years. Met a couple people, but not lots. And what I met was...rather scary. Spent most of the time on the forums because I figured most single people were idiots on dating websites. Now that I've been off for several years, well...I think it's truer than before lol.

Anyways, I won't beat this dead horse, think I've made my opinions known enough on other threads, I'm just here to jerk of...um, jerk around with Callie

Oh and it may be more of a hassle to men, but...I'm worth it. Whatever the outcome, that's something I know that someone who doesn't want to return the effort doesn't know, and who never will. That's another choice.

 

[ManitobaBrit70]

Ok I've read this thread from beginning to end......And yeah I agree and disagree with the comments but I just wanted to share my 3 days on POF!!! Yes 3 whole days of absolute craziness.

so I'm 47 and they match you with similar age groups..... I don't really go much for looks as personality and honesty is key but it is kinda important that they don't have three eyes and an arm growing from the top of their head!

So you look at guys older than you.......Hmmmmmmm it seems a lot have three eyes (No disrespect) and because I look and act much younger they are the ones messaging me! I'm nice right and it feels really hard to say NOOOOOOOO so I ignore then. I hate that but I do! So then I'm feeling guilty but I just couldn't go with a guy with three eyes even if he's got the best personality in the world.

So I think ok lets look for younger guys! like maybe 5 years or so........."Hey there pretty do you wanna suck my cock" no I really don't "Here's a dick pic" OMFG GO AWAYYYYYYY!!!

On your profile you put that you are TALL in big letters! IM 6FT! And specifically state that id like to meet guys as tall if not taller....... "Hey girl I'm 5ft 4" Can people actually read these days or are most people illiterate! And really would they like to carry a box to stand on all the time!

So you wait......... and get a nice message.........2 hours later he wants to move me in and I'm freaked out as he seriously thinks he's going to marry me!! Psycho alarm bells go off! Errrmmmmm goodbye!!

Then there is a guy whos 25........He's the nicest so far and you ask him WHY do you want a woman so much older?! He says because he likes the mind of a mature woman. Hmmmmm what does that mean. Ok so I ignore! I don't want to but I do!

ITS AWFUL!!!!!!

Its just Like a cattle market......then the ones left get shot down with nothingness.............

And please don't think I'm shallow because I'm not......How a person looks to another is unique, and ultimately nobody is physically ugly because of that!

Then I removed myself from POF saying to myself honeysuckle that was a freaky 3 day ride of weirdness! And went back to the lonely ball of fun that I am

 

[TheRealCallie]

Ok I've read this thread from beginning to end......And yeah I agree and disagree with the comments but I just wanted to share my 3 days on POF!!! Yes 3 whole days of absolute craziness.

so I'm 47 and they match you with similar age groups..... I don't really go much for looks as personality and honesty is key but it is kinda important that they don't have three eyes and an arm growing from the top of their head!

So you look at guys older than you.......Hmmmmmmm it seems a lot have three eyes (No disrespect) and because I look and act much younger they are the ones messaging me! I'm nice right and it feels really hard to say NOOOOOOOO so I ignore then. I hate that but I do! So then I'm feeling guilty but I just couldn't go with a guy with three eyes even if he's got the best personality in the world.

So I think ok lets look for younger guys! like maybe 5 years or so........."Hey there pretty do you wanna suck my cock" no I really don't "Here's a dick pic" OMFG GO AWAYYYYYYY!!!

On your profile you put that you are TALL in big letters! IM 6FT! And specifically state that id like to meet guys as tall if not taller....... "Hey girl I'm 5ft 4" Can people actually read these days or are most people illiterate! And really would they like to carry a box to stand on all the time!

So you wait......... and get a nice message.........2 hours later he wants to move me in and I'm freaked out as he seriously thinks he's going to marry me!! Psycho alarm bells go off! Errrmmmmm goodbye!!

Then there is a guy whos 25........He's the nicest so far and you ask him WHY do you want a woman so much older?! He says because he likes the mind of a mature woman. Hmmmmm what does that mean. Ok so I ignore! I don't want to but I do!

ITS AWFUL!!!!!!

Its just Like a cattle market......then the ones left get shot down with nothingness.............

And please don't think I'm shallow because I'm not......How a person looks to another is unique, and ultimately nobody is physically ugly because of that!

Then I removed myself from POF saying to myself honeysuckle that was a freaky 3 day ride of weirdness! And went back to the lonely ball of fun that I am

So what you're saying is that the men who contacted you were creepy or only wanted sex?

Okay, sure so that means women DO have better odds in dating....IF and ONLY IF....you look decent and you want a creepy jackass or a one night stand.  Yeah, us women have it SOOOOO much better

 

[ManitobaBrit70]

Callie every single guy bar NONE were either really creepy or wanting sex! And I know three days isn't long but it was more than enough for me!

The only guys I could have talked to were either pensioners or boys just about out of diapers! The ones in the middle were freaks or sex mad!

And they LIE soooooo bad! not just white lies to make yourself look better, we are talking great big massive lies!!!!!

One nice guy says "hey I don't want a one night stand and I'm honest and reliable" ok so where about's do you live locally? "well actually I'm from California" Well fresia that's a long way from Manitoba! "Well actually I'm in Afghanistan" WTF!!!!! So not only was he not local but in a completely different country!!! and hes not actually a widow with a small child! He's a US army guy whos looking fro a one night stand when he gets back!

Kamya is so right that it is so much better to get to know someone as a friendship online first. But that's only if you meet someone online in the first place! How do you do that? Ughhhh it seems the online friendships I've had are disasters too!

All I can say is its a good job I'm smart, because those who have less intelligence would be sucked right into the vortex of online dating at its worst!

 

[ardour]

The original comment I made was basically about having the option of being friends first and then having it develop into something more. This is a strategy that very rarely works for the vast majority of men out there. Which sucks because IMO I prefer getting closer through friendship first. 

I'm the same unfortunately. It's nice she found someone, but that fact the should has such a range options that she can determine the particular context in which she would like a relationship to start is outside of reality for most of us.

 

[VanillaCreme]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio

It's pretty much 1:1

It's not that rejection is the issue. It's the amount of it that the average guy has to go through to get anything, IF they are lucky enough to get anything at all. While women can put in minimal effort and still have men come to them for her to pick whichever one interests them.

The original comment I made was basically about having the option of being friends first and then having it develop into something more. This is a strategy that very rarely works for the vast majority of men out there. Which sucks because IMO I prefer getting closer through friendship first. 

And then in a post afterwards I only stated that its easier for women to have their pick. I wasn't trying to argue that women have easy lives or have no problems at all in the dating world. Again, you bring unrelated crap into what I'm claiming to try to discredit it instead of arguing against anything I'm ACTUALLY saying. Instead we just like to ignore the points and make vaguely related tangents and argue those points and pretend as if they were the original issue.

You're taking your own personal experiences and spreading them across every other guy. Just because you feel like you always go through it, doesn't mean every "average" guy does. That'd be like me saying every fat girl has a moving dude flirting with her. Just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it happens to everyone else in my category.

 

[TheRealCallie]

lol, moving dudes flirt with EVERYONE.

 

[user 139760]

lol, moving dudes flirt with EVERYONE.  

I resent that.
It happened ONCE.
And I was only a mover for 2 months lol.
Besides...it's your girls faults for being pretty. I resent any implication of responsibility ;-)

 

[ardour]

..."moving dude". I guess that's the guy who worked for a moving business who tried to hit on vanillacreme a few months back.

 

[VanillaCreme]

lol, moving dudes flirt with EVERYONE.

The other two didn't. The one was being a wingman though. Rather good one, too. The third guy was more concentrated on the moving. But the guy was legit flirting, so much so that even I noticed it. I usually don't pick up on it.

..."moving dude". I guess that's the guy who worked for a moving business who tried to hit on vanillacreme a few months back.

You'd be correct. Last year. The company sends out three guys.

 

[kamya]

You're taking your own personal experiences and spreading them across every other guy. Just because you feel like you always go through it, doesn't mean every "average" guy does. That'd be like me saying every fat girl has a moving dude flirting with her. Just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it happens to everyone else in my category.

#yesallmen 

I know that you are just going to throw out any evidence supporting what I'm saying no matter how reliable the source is so I won't bother. But, it's more than just my personal experience I assure you. Believe what you want. =P

 

[VanillaCreme]

You're taking your own personal experiences and spreading them across every other guy. Just because you feel like you always go through it, doesn't mean every "average" guy does. That'd be like me saying every fat girl has a moving dude flirting with her. Just because it happened to me, doesn't mean it happens to everyone else in my category.

#yesallmen 

It's more than just my personal experience I assure you.

No, just your experience. You can't speak for anyone else, regardless of experience you hear from anyone else. Only yours really matters to you. We can't claim other people's experiences as our own, so why someone would take up a negative view on something just because of that, I don't know. You're hurting yourself more than anyone else ever could.

 

[Xpendable]

There's no patterns, everyone, all individual people in the world has not a single similarity on experience whatsoever regarding 100% of every subject imaginable. Burn all studies and surveys, apparently, every man is an island.

 

[kamya]

There's no patterns, everyone, all individual people in the world has not a single similarity on experience whatsoever regarding 100% of every subject imaginable. Burn all studies and surveys, apparently, every man is an island.

Yup trends don't exist. Sociology is a myth. Statistics are voodoo. Very frustrating "logic" to try to reason with for sure. Meanwhile anytime they present the issues women face suddenly they are able to speak for women as a whole no problem. =P

I like how now they're trying to make it about me specifically now instead of what is being said as well. 

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know what does exist though? Bitterness. It's alive and well. Have fun with that.

 

[kamya]

I said it in chat earlier and I'll say it again here.

It is not bitter to understand the way things are.

Again, stop with the shaming attempts and stick to the arguments.

The only thing giving me a negative attitude is trying to reason with the ignorant as they refuse to see anything other than what they want to see despite all evidence. There was nothing particularly bitter about my original posts. The REACTIONS to the posts however...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Again, it's not shaming....unless you are ashamed of being bitter, of course.

Just because you believe it, doesn't make it true. Just ask the flat earthers, they believe the earth is flat...so by your logic, that must be true too.