This week

[Triple Bogey]

It's been an odd week. It occurred to me on Friday that people at work were laughing AT me and not with me.

I can take a joke and there is loads of playful banter at work which I don't mind.

However on Friday this woman, Linda was really going over board. It was all sexual innuendo. Example. Me, Linda and a girl called Lisa talking in the warehouse. Linda says to me 'What do you think of Lisa's breasts ?'

A transgender shopper comes in. Linda asks me if I would have sex with her once he has the operation. A colleague called Karen who is large. Linda asks me can I imagine having sex with her. I could go on and on. In the warehouse they were 5 women all laughing at me. I was the only man. Linda was saying something smutty and asking if I liked sucking. They all started laughing. I wasn't impressed.

On Saturday - The manager wrote a message on facebook making fun out of me. A worker wrote 'ha ha ha' underneath it. He may not have meant anything by it but I don't know what he was getting at.

Today at golf, the normal guy was ill so this other bloke took his place. We was stood on the 1st tee when this other guy walked past and said 'morning' to me. I said 'morning' back and then this new guy made fun out of me saying a really miserable 'morning', mocking the way I speak. I was fuming and told the others guys that if this new guy said anything else I would walk off. I nearly did. Anyway the rest of the round was okay. I don't go to golf to take honeysuckle from people. I has all that when I played football. People taking the piss, giving me honeysuckle. I'm 46 for god's sake !

So, been a funny old week. Makes me want to keep myself to myself even more.

 

[Sometimes]

WTF??!!!! What the hell is wrong with these people? What is their damage? Jeez.

 

[Lost Drifter]

On Saturday - The manager wrote a message on facebook making fun out of me. A worker wrote 'ha ha ha' underneath it. He may not have meant anything by it but I don't know what he was getting at.

This isn't right at all. I can understand banter being taken lightly (though I don't agree that it should) but that right there is bullying. Is there someone above this manager that he can be reported to?

 

[Triple Bogey]

On Saturday - The manager wrote a message on facebook making fun out of me. A worker wrote 'ha ha ha' underneath it. He may not have meant anything by it but I don't know what he was getting at.

This isn't right at all. I can understand banter being taken lightly (though I don't agree that it should) but that right there is bullying. Is there someone above this manager that he can be reported to?

He's a new manager and I think he is a nice enough bloke.

The team we both support had a big game and there was this video by some celebrities saying 'good luck' etc floating around on facebook. He shared the video and tagged me onto it and said he expected to see me on there. I don't know what he was getting at ? Maybe suggesting he thinks I am arrogant or something.

It's just been a week like that. People laughing at me or making fun of how I speak.

 

[Sometimes]

...It's just been a week like that. People laughing at me or making fun of how I speak.

May I ask, how do you speak?

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's been an odd week. It occurred to me on Friday that people at work were laughing AT me and not with me.

I can take a joke and there is loads of playful banter at work which I don't mind.

However on Friday this woman, Linda was really going over board. It was all sexual innuendo. Example. Me, Linda and a girl called Lisa talking in the warehouse. Linda says to me 'What do you think of Lisa's breasts ?'

A transgender shopper comes in. Linda asks me if I would have sex with her once he has the operation. A colleague called Karen who is large. Linda asks me can I imagine having sex with her. I could go on and on. In the warehouse they were 5 women all laughing at me. I was the only man. Linda was saying something smutty and asking if I liked sucking. They all started laughing. I wasn't impressed.

I don't know, man. I think you might be looking into things a little bit too closely, seeing problems where there are none. This stuff about your co-worker, Linda. It reminds me of the stuff people used to ask me in middle or even grade school. I took it seriously then too, and thought people were laughing at me. But really, this fixation on sexual innuendo is more of a reflection on them than it is on you. How old is this co-worker of yours? She seems very immature if she is your age. If she is a lot younger, then that explains it. Still, I'd say it's very immature for a person even in their early 20s. If anything, she is insulting that other colleague, Karen, by making fun of her size and suggesting it makes her an undesirable partner.

You could ignore it. Or, you could give her cheeky responses back.

The team we both support had a big game and there was this video by some celebrities saying 'good luck' etc floating around on facebook. He shared the video and tagged me onto it and said he expected to see me on there. I don't know what he was getting at ? Maybe suggesting he thinks I am arrogant or something.

It's just been a week like that. People laughing at me or making fun of how I speak.

This doesn't sound like your manager was mocking you at all. It sounds like he was saying that since you are such a big fan of this team, he expects to see you on there. It's not about you being arrogant, he just knows it's something you're really into. It's a joke, yes, but it is likely not an insult. That would be like someone saying they expect to see me at a Shelby Mustang meet. Not because they are saying I am stuck-up and think I belong with rich guys who can afford fancy cars, but rather, because they know I am a big fan of those cars.

 

[Triple Bogey]

...It's just been a week like that. People laughing at me or making fun of how I speak.

May I ask, how do you speak?

deadpan, miserable, strange. I don't intend to, just happens.

---

It's been an odd week. It occurred to me on Friday that people at work were laughing AT me and not with me.

I can take a joke and there is loads of playful banter at work which I don't mind.

However on Friday this woman, Linda was really going over board. It was all sexual innuendo. Example. Me, Linda and a girl called Lisa talking in the warehouse. Linda says to me 'What do you think of Lisa's breasts ?'

A transgender shopper comes in. Linda asks me if I would have sex with her once he has the operation. A colleague called Karen who is large. Linda asks me can I imagine having sex with her. I could go on and on. In the warehouse they were 5 women all laughing at me. I was the only man. Linda was saying something smutty and asking if I liked sucking. They all started laughing. I wasn't impressed.

I don't know, man. I think you might be looking into things a little bit too closely, seeing problems where there are none. This stuff about your co-worker, Linda. It reminds me of the stuff people used to ask me in middle or even grade school. I took it seriously then too, and thought people were laughing at me. But really, this fixation on sexual innuendo is more of a reflection on them than it is on you. How old is this co-worker of yours? She seems very immature if she is your age. If she is a lot younger, then that explains it. Still, I'd say it's very immature for a person even in their early 20s. If anything, she is insulting that other colleague, Karen, by making fun of her size and suggesting it makes her an undesirable partner.

You could ignore it. Or, you could give her cheeky responses back.

The team we both support had a big game and there was this video by some celebrities saying 'good luck' etc floating around on facebook. He shared the video and tagged me onto it and said he expected to see me on there. I don't know what he was getting at ? Maybe suggesting he thinks I am arrogant or something.

It's just been a week like that. People laughing at me or making fun of how I speak.

This doesn't sound like your manager was mocking you at all. It sounds like he was saying that since you are such a big fan of this team, he expects to see you on there. It's not about you being arrogant, he just knows it's something you're really into. It's a joke, yes, but it is likely not an insult. That would be like someone saying they expect to see me at a Shelby Mustang meet. Not because they are saying I am stuck-up and think I belong with rich guys who can afford fancy cars, but rather, because they know I am a big fan of those cars.

Thanks. You may be right.

Linda is 60 by the way. She will be as nice as pie to Karen to her face but behind her back she says all sorts. Calls her fat and a sex maniac and talks about her huge arse. She teases me relentlessly about my lack of a girlfriend. I normally say as much back but on Friday there was 5 or 6 of them all laughing at me and I didn't like it. I did tell a few staff on Saturday about it and they agreed with me. It went too far !

 

[Sometimes]

Well, I can see that a more positive spin can be put on all this than the one I've got. I just have a strong belief in being respectful. And I see disrespect to the transgender person, the large person, you, etc. But, I know it's a cultural thing too, and getting along in a culture is important, especially at work.

OK, I read through it again. Nope. These people really offend me.

 

[mickey]

What your coworkers were doing is sexual harassment. You have grounds for a human rights complaint. They stand to get fired and never get jobs again.

What your _boss_ did is something to take toi HIS boss. It might be enough to create a new email address that keeps your identity anonymous and make an anonymous complaint with a link to the facebook page. Just say that you thought the boss's conduct toward "this employee" is inappropriate and yoiu are bringing it to his boss's attention.

What happened at golf is neither here nor there. Unless it's the workplace people have much looser rules of behavior when engaging in a recreational activity. Next time just refuse to play with this one person who offended you.

 

[SofiasMami]

The smutty comments by your coworkers were out of line for sure. Sounds like this Linda is just an all-around offensive person. Perhaps the other coworkers didn't realize how hurtful they were being. I have a female coworker who sits next to me that makes lewd comments that some days make my eyes go wide and my jaw drop. Since we're not friends, I'm able to ignore her most of the time. I've worked with her so long that I know that is the type of person she is - not classy at all and proud of it.
That's good you stood up for yourself at the golf game - sometimes people need to be put in their place. I'm guessing they won't try to make disparaging comments again.

-Teresa

 

[ringwood]

Linda is 60 by the way. She will be as nice as pie to Karen to her face but behind her back she says all sorts. Calls her fat and a sex maniac and talks about her huge arse. She teases me relentlessly about my lack of a girlfriend. I normally say as much back but on Friday there was 5 or 6 of them all laughing at me and I didn't like it. I did tell a few staff on Saturday about it and they agreed with me. It went too far !

Sounds like a two-faced c$&% if you ask me - you would do well to simply walk away from the likes of her.

And Mickey wrote this: What your coworkers were doing is sexual harassment. You have grounds for a human rights complaint. They stand to get fired and never get jobs again.

I completely agree. I would mention this the next time they go overboard like that, you do not need to take behavior like that.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Linda is 60 by the way. She will be as nice as pie to Karen to her face but behind her back she says all sorts. Calls her fat and a sex maniac and talks about her huge arse. She teases me relentlessly about my lack of a girlfriend. I normally say as much back but on Friday there was 5 or 6 of them all laughing at me and I didn't like it. I did tell a few staff on Saturday about it and they agreed with me. It went too far !

Sounds like a two-faced c$&% if you ask me - you would do well to simply walk away from the likes of her.

And Mickey wrote this: What your coworkers were doing is sexual harassment. You have grounds for a human rights complaint. They stand to get fired and never get jobs again.

I completely agree. I would mention this the next time they go overboard like that, you do not need to take behavior like that.

Thanks everybody !

On Saturday when I was talking about it to Julie she said if it was the other way round - 5 men making lewd comments to one woman then it would be sexual harassment. The other way round and it's nothing just banter.

Normally I can take it. It just seemed way too much.

The transgender person is this guy who looks nothing like a woman. He looks ridiculous. We are polite to him when he is in the shop but of course there is a bit of laughing in the warehouse about him.

Nobody likes Karen. She is lazy and complains all the time. She is big as well. The minute she started working, Linda started ribbing me about her making all kinds of sexual comments when I wasn't interested.

I have history with Lisa as well and Linda knows about it. Not good either yet Linda still stirs it making comments trying to embarrass me. When I walk away from them they are always cackling with laugher, obvious talking about me saying jokes.

I am off this Friday which seems the worst day so I am glad about that !

 

[ardour]

I agree with Skafishburger, you're reading too much in these things.

 

[TheRealCallie]

On Saturday when I was talking about it to Julie she said if it was the other way round - 5 men making lewd comments to one woman then it would be sexual harassment. The other way round and it's nothing just banter.

Um, no. Men can be sexually harassed by women just as easily has women can be harassed by men. There is no distinction. If it would be harassment for a woman, it is harassment for men, as well.

 

[mickey]

The belief that women are somehow magically incapable of committing sexual harassment against men (or other women) is sexist and bigoted in the extreme. The fact that it's a core belief of Dianic Wiccans, who have ruled Canada with an iron fist for 180 years, doesn't change how offensive I find it.

 

[Triple Bogey]

On Saturday when I was talking about it to Julie she said if it was the other way round - 5 men making lewd comments to one woman then it would be sexual harassment. The other way round and it's nothing just banter.

Um, no. Men can be sexually harassed by women just as easily has women can be harassed by men. There is no distinction. If it would be harassment for a woman, it is harassment for men, as well.

In an ideal world maybe.

---

I agree with Skafishburger, you're reading too much in these things.

Possibly but that guy on the golf course was still a c**t.

 

[BeyondShy]

Um, no. Men can be sexually harassed by women just as easily has women can be harassed by men. There is no distinction. If it would be harassment for a woman, it is harassment for men, as well.

You're right.

 

[ardour]

Um, no. Men can be sexually harassed by women just as easily has women can be harassed by men. There is no distinction. If it would be harassment for a woman, it is harassment for men, as well.

The distinction is in terms of what's considered socially acceptable.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Nobody likes Karen. She is lazy and complains all the time. She is big as well. The minute she started working, Linda started ribbing me about her making all kinds of sexual comments when I wasn't interested.

Awe. I feel bad for Karen. Her negativity and laziness are probably because she feels like her situation is hopeless so there's no use in trying. Her size and how she feels about it is probably is part of the problem. I can be like that, myself, though I am trying to get out of it (I am not overweight, though).

Possibly but that guy on the golf course was still a c**t.

Still, that is something you could ignore. I remember as recently as a few years ago, I would get so mad whenever kids would drive past and shout insults at me from their cars or honk at me. I would flip them off and say the same back, I wanted to get into a fistfight. Nowadays though, I don't let it bug me. I really don't care what people like that have to say, because I've realized that it is a reflection on them, not on me, and if someone shows me that insulting people is what they do for fun, then they are clearly not anyone who matters. I don't care about fighting them anymore because I don't care what they think at all. They are just not worth my time. So I'd say it's the same for you. If he's a grown man still thinking it's fun to insult people, he is stuck in high school in his mind. Brush him off your shoulder like the nuisance he is.

---

I agree with Skafishburger, you're reading too much in these things.

Thanks for the new name hahaha hope all is well with you. Saw you were running on another thread lately. I used to do a bit of that. I need to get some new shoes though, before I get back in it again.

 

[ardour]

Thanks for the new name hahaha hope all is well with you. Saw you were running on another thread lately. I used to do a bit of that. I need to get some new shoes though, before I get back in it again.

Thanks. Last week I managed an 8K with a group after work (almost 5 miles). Not bad after only 2 weeks, and a good way to jolt you out of the 'woe is me' mindset.