Lesson # 1) Never ever trust anyone 100%
This is a sad point but unfortunately is one I have to agree with. I would love to trust
someone completely, but experience has shown me it is better always to hold at least a
tiny part of myself back.
Lesson #2) I am no longer welcome at home.
It is sad you feel this way. What has happened to make you think this? (I live alone, so
it doesn't apply to me.)
Lesson #3) Nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone, thus negating any reason to
be good.
It sounds as if you have lived your life pleasing others all the time. Where are you and
your needs in all this? I have generally done what people have wanted me to as well,
and have ended up with a way of life I hate, which I am now belatedly trying to
repair and change.
Lesson #4) Never hold onto any one person too tightly. you'll end up broken in the end if
you do, possibly beyond repair. Instead, have options.
Yes, I agree. If you come to depend on someone too such an extent, you leave yourself
open to total abandonment. Make sure you have a network, if at all possible.
The same
goes for social activities. Don't build a social life around one place, but find several
activities/groups you can join. Then if something goes wrong at one of them, you don't
lose everything.
Lesson #5) The world has no toleration for the unfailingly kind, generous or nice person.
They get eaten alive or discarded to the side.
Sometimes this is true, sometimes it isn't. The world is in many ways a cold and harsh
place, but there are also many good people in it who won't eat you alive.
Lesson #6) Any and all emotion a fragile person succumbs to might be their downfall into
broken pieces.
Yes, I agree. I fear dissolving into chaos if I really let out the feelings within to
their fullest extent. And few people can cope with the raw and undiluted pain of others,
thus adding to your pain because you feel rejected and also even more alone.
Lesson #7) Remember, anytime you are upset, to never share it because its emotional
pollution. In turn, you yourself are also emotional pollution.
It depends. You can share with some people but not with others.
Reasons why I (should and do) say I am fine:
1) the average person doesn't give good advice
I think that we all know in our hearts what we should do and want to do in most
situations. We know ourselves better than anyone else could ever know us. They advise from
where they are and from who they are. I often wish people would simply listen and not
advise.
2) the average person doesn't like dealing with depressed people.
True. It drags them down into their own pain. And society still has little tolerance for
those of us who have mental health issues.
3) the average workplace would hold it against me.
Yes, it is seen as an individual failing/weakness, evem if conditions at the workplace
are partially responsible for it. And the working world is so fast paced and stressful
nowadays that there is little room for those of us who are fragile.
4) people believe its not a real disease and that I am faking.
Many think it is the same as unhappiness which everyone suffers from from time to time.
They do not realise the depth and severity of the feelings.
5) most people do not understand, and buy into false preconcieved notions of what
depression is and what people need to do if they Want to get better.
Most people want to push you into a frantic round of activity so that you will 'forget'
your depression. I find that it can be good to maintain a certain level of activity, but
only what I can manage. Others tell you not to 'dwell on' things. If I could do this, I
would already be doing it. Others recomend medication some of which works, some of which
doesn't. I have never found it to be of much use, as it only masks the problems and
doesn't solve them.
6) if people with depression are low functioning they = worthless.
Yes, some people say you are self pitying and are not helping yourself. You have to be
seen to be 'making san effort# all the time so that people will see you as being worthy of
their time and effort. My therapist is a bit like this. I am pretty depressed now but one
of the reasons I am doing things is to stop her from critisicing me. Sorry to sound so
pathetic.
7) people believe "getting better" is a choice, and if people with depression don't get
better, well, then they're just choosing not to...
Depression feels so awful that we would never choose it.
All reasons to utter the words "I'm fine"
Continuation of Life Lessons pending...
ADV
This is a sad point but unfortunately is one I have to agree with. I would love to trust
someone completely, but experience has shown me it is better always to hold at least a
tiny part of myself back.
Lesson #2) I am no longer welcome at home.
It is sad you feel this way. What has happened to make you think this? (I live alone, so
it doesn't apply to me.)
Lesson #3) Nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone, thus negating any reason to
be good.
It sounds as if you have lived your life pleasing others all the time. Where are you and
your needs in all this? I have generally done what people have wanted me to as well,
and have ended up with a way of life I hate, which I am now belatedly trying to
repair and change.
Lesson #4) Never hold onto any one person too tightly. you'll end up broken in the end if
you do, possibly beyond repair. Instead, have options.
Yes, I agree. If you come to depend on someone too such an extent, you leave yourself
open to total abandonment. Make sure you have a network, if at all possible.
The same
goes for social activities. Don't build a social life around one place, but find several
activities/groups you can join. Then if something goes wrong at one of them, you don't
lose everything.
Lesson #5) The world has no toleration for the unfailingly kind, generous or nice person.
They get eaten alive or discarded to the side.
Sometimes this is true, sometimes it isn't. The world is in many ways a cold and harsh
place, but there are also many good people in it who won't eat you alive.
Lesson #6) Any and all emotion a fragile person succumbs to might be their downfall into
broken pieces.
Yes, I agree. I fear dissolving into chaos if I really let out the feelings within to
their fullest extent. And few people can cope with the raw and undiluted pain of others,
thus adding to your pain because you feel rejected and also even more alone.
Lesson #7) Remember, anytime you are upset, to never share it because its emotional
pollution. In turn, you yourself are also emotional pollution.
It depends. You can share with some people but not with others.
Reasons why I (should and do) say I am fine:
1) the average person doesn't give good advice
I think that we all know in our hearts what we should do and want to do in most
situations. We know ourselves better than anyone else could ever know us. They advise from
where they are and from who they are. I often wish people would simply listen and not
advise.
2) the average person doesn't like dealing with depressed people.
True. It drags them down into their own pain. And society still has little tolerance for
those of us who have mental health issues.
3) the average workplace would hold it against me.
Yes, it is seen as an individual failing/weakness, evem if conditions at the workplace
are partially responsible for it. And the working world is so fast paced and stressful
nowadays that there is little room for those of us who are fragile.
4) people believe its not a real disease and that I am faking.
Many think it is the same as unhappiness which everyone suffers from from time to time.
They do not realise the depth and severity of the feelings.
5) most people do not understand, and buy into false preconcieved notions of what
depression is and what people need to do if they Want to get better.
Most people want to push you into a frantic round of activity so that you will 'forget'
your depression. I find that it can be good to maintain a certain level of activity, but
only what I can manage. Others tell you not to 'dwell on' things. If I could do this, I
would already be doing it. Others recomend medication some of which works, some of which
doesn't. I have never found it to be of much use, as it only masks the problems and
doesn't solve them.
6) if people with depression are low functioning they = worthless.
Yes, some people say you are self pitying and are not helping yourself. You have to be
seen to be 'making san effort# all the time so that people will see you as being worthy of
their time and effort. My therapist is a bit like this. I am pretty depressed now but one
of the reasons I am doing things is to stop her from critisicing me. Sorry to sound so
pathetic.
7) people believe "getting better" is a choice, and if people with depression don't get
better, well, then they're just choosing not to...
Depression feels so awful that we would never choose it.
All reasons to utter the words "I'm fine"
Continuation of Life Lessons pending...
ADV
Don't know what to say to this because I don't know the circumstances, but sending you a hug.
