Where do you go if you don't fit in at a forum for lonely people?

[cklove]

Don't leave.
Why do you feel unaccepted?
IS it how you feel? Did anyone here make you feel unwelcome?

Just be careful thinking thoughts that can sabbotage.

I've made a few friends on this site but I think it was me that made the first move reaching out to them. I'm glad that I did.
Hey if you read a post that you like try to pm that person. It's not that scary is it? The worse that can happen is that they don't reply. At least you tried. You have to put some energy into it it will come back . It's true for anything.

I also don't get the rating thing either. I just pay no attention to it.

Stick around change the way you're looking at it it will all change.

Hope you stay

chris

 

[Matha]

you know what that's a good idea.

 

[lonelyistheworld]

People feeling left out here should contemplate making the first move. I see a lot of "PM me if you like", "Thanks, you can PM me too" and wonder how much PM'ing is really going on behind the scenes. Find someone you like the sound of and say hello.

PM'ing behind the scenes? Heck, none! Or so it seems. Some of these people that 'fess up they are so lonely, need friends, you PM them, get them to add you as a friend to their Myspace, whatever, you send them a message, and you never hear a d*mn thing back...

Talk about feeling rejected among the rejected. Pretty much sucks. Then again, perhaps this is why THEY are so f*ckin' lonely, they don't know how to even REPLY to messages/PMs/emails... but they can come here and talk about how they have no friends, et. al... ad nauseam... *puke* :club:

 

[MTrip]

I don't fit in here completely myself, so I can relate. One solution to your malaise is misanthropy. Take all that dejection & heartache, turn it into a loathing for the human race. I came to that point in late 2010, & I've no regrets. You can hate your fellow humans with grace & style if you diligently learn from those pioneers of dislike who came before us! From at least one reply here I see you are a college student. You may be on the path to misanthropy already: If you take your studies seriously & develop your intellect to the fullest, you will be shocked & appalled after you get your degree & come face to face with the rampant ignorance of the ordinary masses. Go with it, & cultivate a distaste for humans in general. Feel free to PM me if the foregoing alternative interests you--I'd be happy to give you a few pointers.

 

[Alienated]

Did you ever think that maybe the people here are lonely for a reason ? I used to live in a Drug and Alcohol treatment center so I learned how to be a human lie detector ..... So IRL I get pissed off as soon as anyone opens their mouth, because nobody knows how to tell the truth anymore.... So when someone lies to me... I tell them the truth about how I feel about them ... LOL... That's why I am lonely ??

And that's the God's honest truth !! How about you ??

 

[MTrip]

Did you ever think that maybe the people here are lonely for a reason ? I used to live in a Drug and Alcohol treatment center so I learned how to be a human lie detector ..... So IRL I get pissed off as soon as anyone opens their mouth, because nobody knows how to tell the truth anymore.... So when someone lies to me... I tell them the truth about how I feel about them ... LOL... That's why I am lonely ??

And that's the God's honest truth !! How about you ??

Your reason isn't too different from mine. All I have to do is say exactly what I think, & people get offended, pissed off, or huffy, etc. In speaking my mind, the only thing I have to lose is prospective friends. Since most people can't be on the level anymore, as you said, I just weigh the risks & act accordingly.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I'm lonely because people are incredibly judgemental a lot of the time.

I don't say what I think most of the time, because I don't want to hurt people. But the few times I've actually told a bad friend how I thought of them, I've ended up damaging the relationship. Not that there was that much of a relationship there to begin with.

The few friends I do have are fellow introverts like me, though, which also leads to issues. When nobody wants to go out and socialize, I don't see my friends very often.

 

[WL7.3]

I'll join. I can't connect here either.

---

http://www.succeedsocially.com/lonely

I found this and the links very insightful. I just read it today so I can't cite any results.

 

[Gutted]

This topic is ancient!

Did you ever think that maybe the people here are lonely for a reason ? I used to live in a Drug and Alcohol treatment center so I learned how to be a human lie detector ..... So IRL I get pissed off as soon as anyone opens their mouth, because nobody knows how to tell the truth anymore.... So when someone lies to me... I tell them the truth about how I feel about them ... LOL... That's why I am lonely ??

And that's the God's honest truth !! How about you ??

Your reason isn't too different from mine. All I have to do is say exactly what I think, & people get offended, pissed off, or huffy, etc. In speaking my mind, the only thing I have to lose is prospective friends. Since most people can't be on the level anymore, as you said, I just weigh the risks & act accordingly.

Alas, this! The main reason I fall out with people is for being honest. You'd think people would value honesty but it seems not.

 

[Tiina63]

Can anyone answer my question? It's bad enough that I don't fit into any of the cliques at college in real life, but now I have to live with the torment of knowing I don't belong at a forum supposedly for people just like me. I thought it was universally accepted truth that it's easier to be one's self and make friends over the internet due to anonymity, so why do I never connect with anyone online? I've been a participant in two forums and I'm about as popular as a soggy baby's diaper in a scorching Arizona desert. Am I really that boring? Am I really that unlikable? I don't know, man, but it really hurts when I make a conscious effort to start a conversation with my classmates, get rejected (and even made fun of), then come to the lonely forum and feel even more rejected because everyone has online friends except me (F@#$ the reputation points system. What the hell is something like that doing on a forum for people who are easily hurt by feelings of isolation and exclusion?!)

So, what do I do? Do I start a new forum for rejects of the Lonely Life forum? Should I call it the Forum for Genetic Mutations in Humanity?

What makes you feel that you don't fit in here? Have you had some unpleasant replies to threads you have started? If so, try to ignore them and to concentrate on any nice replies you get. Sometimes I have had replies I have found hurtful, but often when this happens the person's own sadness and loneliness is making them lash out and it is nothing to really do with what I have written.

 

[Smokey]

Rogue Tomato.....

Badass user name.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I don't fit on this forum either, but I still stay around. There may be people on here who I end up meeting who actually needs a friend to talk too. I've met lots of wonderful people on here. Some of them left and somehow down the line we lost contact with one another. Know things like this happen, but it also helps me out in the process. For example, sometimes I feel very lonely and once I log on I feel better cause I don't get to socialize much to that many people. This forum helps me break out of my shell, open myself up and try my best in order to helps others who are suffering themselves with loneliness or need advice. May not always know what to say, but I continue to try. Deep down I have a great deal of compassion for people and it deeply saddens me when others are suffering in the world.

 

[Alienated]

What I don't understand is all the people here that claim they need and want to talk to someone, but the only way to get them to talk is send them a message... Sure they will answer, but rarely will they send one on their own. And then only after a few messages they just wonder away, and start a new thread that they have no one to talk to.

I don't think it's because I don't fit in here... I think it's just people don't really want any real friendships. Their actions don't match what they say they want.... Several even say.. " It hard for me to send a message on my own " People if you really want to be noticed, and get to know anyone.. try actually being friendly !!

It's one thing to comment on a thread, but that's not getting to know anyone.... If you are really lonely REACH OUT !! And stick with it !! Because I think definitely people want to stay invisible. And it's not like you are actually risking anything, or have to actually face someone. All relationship involve some risk, because you have to stick yourself out there.. But this is the safest way possible, so what's holding you back ?

 

[ForGrantedWife]

The truth is something no one wants or likes to hear. It literally drives people away from you in droves. I know this because I'm the same way Alienated. I've learned that if I stand any chance of making someone like me here in the real world I need to become deaf, dumb, and blind to the obvious and keep my mouth shut. People like flattery and someone to listen only. The minute you try to go in depth on anything personal in their lives they bail. Why? Deep down they know the truth already, but aren't ready to do anything about it. Or possibly never will and don't want to hear about it.