Okay, so after talking to people on here and mulling the issue over a bit, I've come to the conclusion that impressing girls and being the kind of guy who they would like has a lot to do with your personality traits, how you act in situations, and the general air you give off. So basically a lot of it has to do with having confidence and "broadcasting" your best qualities, whatever they may be (being humorous, outgoing etc.) ...But that "broadcasting" seems to be the most difficult thing of all. Especially if you're extremely shy, have low self-esteem to the point where you're in some kind of therapy/counseling, and are generally freaked out in social situations. I have seen at least one case where I think I somehow have been able to impress a girl by being consistently confident/intelligent every time we met (at a political club at college), but pretty soon it fell apart because outside of that context I was the same shy loser who can't speak up that I always was.
So idk, I suppose I've kind of answered my own question here - girls are hard to impress because they are attracted to confidence and I have NONE... But...hmm...well I guess I'm hoping to just get some clarification on that. How goddamn "confident" do you have to act before any one of them likes you? Do ANY of them like shy guys? What about really shy guys? Because I swear if I keep trying to act like that (like at the club) I'll be so constantly nervous I'll probably develop a stomach ulcer and have nervous breakdown/panic attack (not joking - it's happened to me, but for a different reason).
Also I'm kind of conflicted as to if this is really the reason for my lack of connection with women. Is it because I'm so scared/shy that I never give myself the chance to talk to them? Or is it because the fact that they can tell I'm so scared/shy turns them the fresia off? Obviously it doesn't matter which is true because the solution is the same: stop being so shy and scared!, but I'd just like to know if I'm repulsive to women in my current state...
And another thing - girls I've talked to are so ambiguous about what attracts them. The only thing I know for sure is that they liked "cute" guys. The rest is all something like "chemistry", "a connection", "I just felt attracted to him". Which REALLY makes me feel like honeysuckle because it leads me to think I must be one of those losers who's made it to 20 years of age without a girlfriend simply because I either don't know HOW to display that "X factor" or I just don't have it at all...
So idk, I suppose I've kind of answered my own question here - girls are hard to impress because they are attracted to confidence and I have NONE... But...hmm...well I guess I'm hoping to just get some clarification on that. How goddamn "confident" do you have to act before any one of them likes you? Do ANY of them like shy guys? What about really shy guys? Because I swear if I keep trying to act like that (like at the club) I'll be so constantly nervous I'll probably develop a stomach ulcer and have nervous breakdown/panic attack (not joking - it's happened to me, but for a different reason).
Also I'm kind of conflicted as to if this is really the reason for my lack of connection with women. Is it because I'm so scared/shy that I never give myself the chance to talk to them? Or is it because the fact that they can tell I'm so scared/shy turns them the fresia off? Obviously it doesn't matter which is true because the solution is the same: stop being so shy and scared!, but I'd just like to know if I'm repulsive to women in my current state...
And another thing - girls I've talked to are so ambiguous about what attracts them. The only thing I know for sure is that they liked "cute" guys. The rest is all something like "chemistry", "a connection", "I just felt attracted to him". Which REALLY makes me feel like honeysuckle because it leads me to think I must be one of those losers who's made it to 20 years of age without a girlfriend simply because I either don't know HOW to display that "X factor" or I just don't have it at all...