Why do YOU want to be in a relationship?

[Nyktimos]

Good one For me, I cannot have a relationship for now, though i would want that... I noticed lately that I'm getting somehow bored about my partner, it is not that I want so or I'm seeking games r one night stands... It bothers me, I don't want to hurt anyone... Really makes me think about the situation, is it something wrong with me?

That is the coolist sig I've ever seen!

My girlfriend is simply not dealing with my deteriorating mental issues. I think to her it is just another bad thing that's happening to her. I'm failing her! But she needs me too much to accept our relationship's not working, and I'm too soft to hurt her by walking out.

It's hypocritical advice coming from me, but if you feel that way it would be better to leave your partner than string them along. It's not something wrong with you. Two people are compatible for as long as they are both getting what they need from a relationship. When one isn't, the relationship is not healthy. A relationship in which only one person gets what they want is likely to go down hill.

 

[Aquila]

Thank you, this sig is the one i use on most forums Excuse my affirmation, but isn't that a little selfish to think only about her? It seems like that to me and I understand you perfectly as my ex was the same... I know the thing with compatibility, but what when that happens all the time when you are in a relationship? I mean it can't be a simple coincidence in my opinion, or am I overeating?

 

[wannabeXL]

Yes, if you have the same problem every time you're in a relationship, you're probably doing something wrong. Are you sure you know what it means to be in a relationship? It has nothing to do with your personal happiness (i.e., never getting bored with your partner). It's about compromising, it's about lowering your standards, it's about making sacrifices, it's about not always getting what you want, it's about putting up with your partner's antiques, it's about feeling like honeysuckle on most days... knowing you're trapped by this little thing called commitment and you can't get out because you're already emotionally attached to your partner.

Life sucks, I concur.

 

[Nyktimos]

Thank you, this sig is the one i use on most forums Excuse my affirmation, but isn't that a little selfish to think only about her? It seems like that to me and I understand you perfectly as my ex was the same... I know the thing with compatibility, but what when that happens all the time when you are in a relationship? I mean it can't be a simple coincidence in my opinion, or am I overeating?

Relationships are definately about both commitment and compromise. But if you compromise so much that you're unhappy most of the time, it's a compromise too far.

You probably don't feel it Lucian, but you're actually still quite young. You're probably still learning who you are, and each relationship will give you a better idea of what you need and what you can't put up with. Long term compatability isn't easy to find. I'm 35 and still haven't figured out for sure what I'm looking for, if anything.

My girlfriend is simply not dealing with my deteriorating mental issues. I think to her it is just another bad thing that's happening to her. I'm failing her! But she needs me too much to accept our relationship's not working, and I'm too soft to hurt her by walking out.

It's hypocritical advice coming from me, but if you feel that way it would be better to leave your partner than string them along. It's not something wrong with you. Two people are compatible for as long as they are both getting what they need from a relationship. When one isn't, the relationship is not healthy. A relationship in which only one person gets what they want is likely to go down hill.

Yes, if you have the same problem every time you're in a relationship, you're probably doing something wrong. Are you sure you know what it means to be in a relationship? It has nothing to do with your personal happiness (i.e., never getting bored with your partner). It's about compromising, it's about lowering your standards, it's about making sacrifices, it's about not always getting what you want, it's about putting up with your partner's antiques, it's about feeling like honeysuckle on most days... knowing you're trapped by this little thing called commitment and you can't get out because you're already emotionally attached to your partner.

Life sucks, I concur.

We're not making a very good case for relationships. Come on folks! The future of our species is at stake!

 

[Haven]

Humanity cant survive alone because we have a flaw that causes us to need others to define ourselves its sad but true.

 

[Aquila]

Yes, in my case I think I'm too young yet I hope the time will solve anything for me. I just hope I won't turn out a jerk...

 

[EveWasFramed]

I guess the life coach guy bumping old threads is catching.

*bump*

 

[Regumika]

Wait what Eve? I missed something. Did you just bump this thread? for discussion?

If so...

#1 I want to make someone happy.
#2 I want to feel needed/important.

 

[Nikki]

Haha yeah since you bumped this Eve, I'll bite.....Why do I want to be in a relationship?

I want to be with someone whom I can share my life with, where we can share our hopes and dreams, support each other when things get rough, laugh, cry and have fun together, the closeness and the sex - <--- I miss that.

^^Guess I now realise why I'm still alone.

 

[el Jay]

Because I enjoy intimacy. I crave it. I like being hugged, made to feel special to someone (and not just in a "friendship" way). It's the most wonderful feeling in the world, in my opinion, and I've almost never had it in my life. Even my longest relationship (of the two I've had), that lasted more than 3 years kept me starved of intimacy because she "didn't like it."

I'm just not someone who can be fully happy and content with my life without someone else. Probably because of how much time I've spent isolated and alone from other people.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Wait what Eve? I missed something. Did you just bump this thread? for discussion?

LOL, well the life coach dude bumped an old one so I followed his lead.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Because I want to love and to be loved.

 

[Gutted]

For the sex of course. What else?

I kid I think it would be nice to share life with someone. It might be a struggle at times and its hardly the most fun life I lead. But its simple and straight forward. A relationship would be fun. It would open doors to new things. Friends, family, adventure~ I want to do things like travel, camping, festivals. Would be more fun to do them with a partner. Oh and sex. Did I mention that?

 

[Peaches]

sharing, yes, someone to talk with - no talk, no relationship, for me - and covering each other's back

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

To be able to be really nice to someone in an intimate way. And I dont mean sex with that.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Ive changed my mind. It seems rather pointless (for me personally) to even attempt one.

 

[theraab]

I want to be in one mainly for the improved tax filing status

 

[EveWasFramed]

I want to be in one mainly for the improved tax filing status

lmao, you obviously don't do your own taxes. The reverse is true.
Only marriage changes tax status and in the opposite direction - the marriage penalty and all that.

Poor Raab. lol

 

[ardour]

I don't want to be in relationship. I want to be with a particular person.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I don't want to be in relationship. I want to be with a particular person.

hmm....isn't that the same thing - you're in a relationship with a particular person?