Why do YOU want to be in a relationship?

[Case]

The only way I know to answer this is to list things I miss in a relationship:

* Offering my love and receiving her love in return.
* Knowing that the first person I see that day is the woman I love.
* Getting excited by texts and phone calls from her.
* Sharing cool experiences with her, like traveling.
* Holding hands with her.
* Rooting for her and supporting her creative interests.
* Watching a movie with her.
* Listening to her fears and offering my understanding and compassion.

(sigh) Maybe some day.

 

[mintymint]

The money. Oh, that sweet pay day.

 

[Chris516]

To know that someone would love me, despite my physical health problems.

 

[happinessforever]

i want to be in a relationship because i'm tired of being alone, but im scared to be in a relationship because 4 ive been in have left me heart broken. i just want somone to love me for me and not for what i can give them.

 

[Peaches]

have been thinking about this a lot lately - I really need someone to share things that happens, thoughts, ideas on a daily basis
someone to hug
someone to play with
someone to console me when I am sad
someone in whose presence I delight
someone to do (some) things together

a dog might do better, on second thoughts

 

[EveWasFramed]

^^ lol, Peaches!
At least the dog won't ask you for sandwiches during the Super Bowl and leave dirty socks on the floor!

(I'm kidding guys - don't beat me, lol)

 

[Minus]

But dirty socks belong on the floor, not on the table.

 

[jaguarundi]

Don't kid yourself about dogs. The 4legged love of my life is having a long-term relationship with my next door neighbour. If I am busy and not paying him enough attention he squeezes under the fence into her garden ... She fusses him and gives him biscuits (not allowed at home)... He is always sorry of course and looks guilty for a while. But we both know he can't give her up......

(trust me to have a dog that cheats on me!!!!lol)

 

[EveWasFramed]

But dirty socks belong on the floor, not on the table.

eeewww.... Minus, lol!!!!!

 

[TheSkaFish]

Lots of reasons. Here we go:

-Sex. Yes, I know it's not EVERYTHING but let's just get the obvious reason out of the way. Not just for physical pleasure either. I am not interested in the hookup thing because I want to experience a real connection.

-Companionship. The dynamic is just a different experience with a girl than it is with guy friends. Like others have said, animals are also great for companionship but again, that is also another experience in and of itself.

-Someone to make memories with. Friends and family have directions of their own that they want to take and sometimes it's not always the same. Someone to go on all sorts of adventures with and bounce ideas off of. I know that relationship partners do also have different ideas on what they want to do but it ties back in to the companionship thing. Someone to feel ALIVE with.

-Someone to watch movies with and cuddle.

-Someone to take silly pictures with.

-Someone who I can count on to bring out the best in me, and vice versa. I know that no one should NEED another person to do this, but it's nice to have someone around who believes in and encourages you and introduces fresh ideas to your life.

It's just one of many things I'd like to experience in my time on this planet.

 

[Triple Bogey]

it's the thought a woman has chosen ME and not some other guy.

 

[kamya]

C'mon bogey that can't be all you want.

 

[TheSkaFish]

it's the thought a woman has chosen ME and not some other guy.

Yea, I'd add that to my list as well. Just for ONCE I'd love to know that I'm the dashing hero that gets the girl (INbeforesomeonesaysgirlsarentobjects, itsjustanexpression) and the other guy gets the whole "there's plenty of fish in the sea, you have to learn to move on" bullcrap. Man. Especially if it's some "bad boy" too....I try to be a good guy but in this case, I really don't think I'd be able to be gracious in my victory. I'm tired of losing to these shmucks. Just freakin' ONCE, here! Come on Life, stop holding out on me!

 

[Hearmenow2012]

I would like to have someone to spend time with, to prove that I have something to offer, I would like to feel loved unconditionally, I would like to have someone that I can share moments/memories with, I would like to put someone else before myself more and I want to have proof that someone cares about me enough to actually date me.

 

[jaguarundi]

Skafish says ... Yea, I'd add that to my list as well. Just for ONCE I'd love to know that I'm the dashing hero that gets the girl (INbeforesomeonesaysgirlsarentobjects, itsjustanexpression) and the other guy gets the whole "there's plenty of fish in the sea, you have to learn to move on"

**smiles**

I guy I was interested in (and he knew I was) asked another - prettier - girl out. She was OK as a person, by the way, but they had nothing whatsoever in common. They lasted a few months, then he asked me. And I said no. Stupid of me? Probably. But I just couldn't stand being second best. . . .

 

[Truthfully]

I have never really considered being in one, but I guess sometimes when I lay in my bed at night I wish I had someone to cuddle with or someone who I was close to for once. It's nice to have someone "special" in your life or someone to call your own.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Sometimes, just to prove that I can get someone to like me. It's almost not even sexual at all, but rather it's another way that I want to prove that life isn't just random chance, that it's not just the lucky ones that get what they want and everyone else has to just accept what they're given, take it or leave it. That "luck" and being "special" be damned, I can do it if I set my mind to it. I mean, I KNOW I'm not that bad, lots of people with problems worse than mine get dates without any such resistance from the world.

 

[kamya]

Sounds pretty egocentric to me. :O

 

[TheSkaFish]

Sounds pretty egocentric to me. :O

But that's the thing though...growing up I was never very confident in myself. I never had any pride. I believed I was just one of "the masses" that had no strong suits, no advantages, and couldn't get further at anything than whatever life would float my way. That I couldn't influence the outcome of anything because I simply lacked the genes, luck, or favor from a higher power to do anything about it. Consequently, I didn't like myself or my life.

So perhaps in a way, being more egocentric, or as I would put it, having some pride in myself, could be exactly the special sauce I've been lacking. Not to offend anyone but I think that's what a lot of us who can't figure out how to get someone to like us or get a life we enjoy have trouble with. We've let our negative experiences justify a lack of pride or belief in ourselves, and it colors our entire narrative. What if all the limitations I grew up believing were wrong, and what if it's really a case of "whether you think you can or you can't, you're right"?

 

[jaguarundi]

FYI

Egocentrism is characterized by preoccupation with one's own internal world. Egocentrics regard themselves and their own opinions or interests as being the most important or valid. To them, self-relevant information is seen to be more important in shaping one’s judgments than are thoughts about others and other-relevant information.Egocentric people are unable to fully understand or to cope with other people's opinions and the fact that reality can be different from what they are ready to accept.