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How do you manage suicidal thoughts when you know you're not allowed to do it?
#11
"the truth of all our realities make it such that some people are more shafted than others and not all of us are evenly equipped to deal with it."
I completely agree. There is always going to be some one who has it better or worse than you or me.

The "not allowed" I got what you were saying. Which is exactly why I suggested trying to take a break of some sort. Can't afford to do anything like what I suggested... I get that... I'll probably be living off ramen for the next ten years (however long it takes me to pay back a student loan for a degree I'm not using because I can't find a job). At the very least take a walk, get some fresh air. Again not going to solve all your problems, but it might help provide a little relief from the stress and as far as I know they haven't found a way to charge for that yet.

Of course you'll still feel bad, about some things.
Whoever that guy is in the federal pen... sounds like something that might stay with you forever.

Everything else... will pass or it will get easier to deal with. How many of us actually get to work at a job we want to work at? The money issues will fade after you find a job (and I do wish you luck with your interview) but you'll still probably have issues with that from time to time (just like everyone else).
You can control money issues to a point, but you know what the difference is when you don't guilt yourself over financial problems?
Absolutely nothing, you'll still have the financial problems you just won't be forcing yourself to suffer the whole time you're waiting on a paycheck to pay whatever it is you need to pay.
The child support payments will end at some point... how old are your kids?
Your teeth will probably fall out some day (mine will too most likely, been wondering if I could just find a dentist to pull them all out and get dentures really early... would end up being less pain and money, I would assume - though maybe not)
Maybe you'll still be eating kraft dinners alone when your 90,( though you'll be missing your teeth maybe you should go with foods you don't have to chew.)
or maybe you won't be alone... or maybe you'll be dead long before then.

I understand family bullshit, Besides Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don't even see my sister or her kids (I could be dead for all she cares until she needs money or wants to cause problems) and they live on the same street (short street in a small town). I don't see my parents usually, and honestly it's probably better that way... I have a brother, older than you, who literally stopped talking to me altogether because I didn't run out and buy a Playstation 4 when he did, and another brother who just has no interest in talking to me what-so-ever. Typically, the only texts I get are the ones my credit card sends me to let me know how much I owe them.
I don't think there is anyone on this site that doesn't understand how it feels to be lonely.

You'll also probably have a boatload of new problems in two years... it's just how it is.
But you might have some nice moments in there somewhere too. Are there any pleasant memories you can focus on that might help? Remembering a time when your life was better might help you to have a little hope for your future.

There always going to be some things in our lives that we can control and A LOT more that we can't.
There's nothing wrong with feeling miserable or worrying about some things, just don't let it drive you to making decisions that you can't undo.
You can't fix anything when you're dead.


*I'm going to stop trying to help now. Whenever I've been as depressed as you probably are, (if you're having suicidal thoughts) there's nothing anyone could have said that would have helped. I wouldn't have heard it anyway.
#12
Sometimes when it's the most difficult, all that you have is the knowledge that you have to keep going - even when you're tired.


[Image: KdIMtMF.jpg]
#13
(01-09-2019, 08:47 AM)Pathfinder Wrote: Sometimes when it's the most difficult, all that you have is the knowledge that you have to keep going - even when you're tired.


[Image: KdIMtMF.jpg]

Yeah. I think that I just go forward for the sake of going forward. 
At least it’s going somewhere, even if I just am catching a ride with the present.
#14
Long story short, your life is what YOU make it. If you hang on to shit, not letting it go, you will be miserable. If you have a negative outlook, you will be negative. Change your attitude, change your life.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
#15
I go a little crazy, and then readjust my tiara. Like facebook told me to.
"You are as you are until you are not"

[Image: CooperativeWigglyArieltoucan-max-1mb.gif]
#16
I really thought that was going to say bra, not tiara. lol
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
#17
(01-09-2019, 08:27 AM)kaetic Wrote: "the truth of all our realities make it such that some people are more shafted than others and not all of us are evenly equipped to deal with it."
I completely agree. There is always going to be some one who has it better or worse than you or me.

The "not allowed" I got what you were saying. Which is exactly why I suggested trying to take a break of some sort. Can't afford to do anything like what I suggested... I get that... I'll probably be living off ramen for the next ten years (however long it takes me to pay back a student loan for a degree I'm not using because I can't find a job). At the very least take a walk, get some fresh air. Again not going to solve all your problems, but it might help provide a little relief from the stress and as far as I know they haven't found a way to charge for that yet.

Of course you'll still feel bad, about some things.
Whoever that guy is in the federal pen... sounds like something that might stay with you forever.

Everything else... will pass or it will get easier to deal with. How many of us actually get to work at a job we want to work at? The money issues will fade after you find a job (and I do wish you luck with your interview) but you'll still probably have issues with that from time to time (just like everyone else).
You can control money issues to a point, but you know what the difference is when you don't guilt yourself over financial problems?
Absolutely nothing, you'll still have the financial problems you just won't be forcing yourself to suffer the whole time you're waiting on a paycheck to pay whatever it is you need to pay.
The child support payments will end at some point... how old are your kids?
Your teeth will probably fall out some day (mine will too most likely, been wondering if I could just find a dentist to pull them all out and get dentures really early... would end up being less pain and money, I would assume - though maybe not)
Maybe you'll still be eating kraft dinners alone when your 90,( though you'll be missing your teeth maybe you should go with foods you don't have to chew.)
or maybe you won't be alone... or maybe you'll be dead long before then.

I understand family bullshit, Besides Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don't even see my sister or her kids (I could be dead for all she cares until she needs money or wants to cause problems) and they live on the same street (short street in a small town). I don't see my parents usually, and honestly it's probably better that way... I have a brother, older than you, who literally stopped talking to me altogether because I didn't run out and buy a Playstation 4 when he did, and another brother who just has no interest in talking to me what-so-ever. Typically, the only texts I get are the ones my credit card sends me to let me know how much I owe them.
I don't think there is anyone on this site that doesn't understand how it feels to be lonely.

You'll also probably have a boatload of new problems in two years... it's just how it is.
But you might have some nice moments in there somewhere too. Are there any pleasant memories you can focus on that might help? Remembering a time when your life was better might help you to have a little hope for your future.

There always going to be some things in our lives that we can control and A LOT more that we can't.
There's nothing wrong with feeling miserable or worrying about some things, just don't let it drive you to making decisions that you can't undo.
You can't fix anything when you're dead.


*I'm going to stop trying to help now. Whenever I've been as depressed as you probably are, (if you're having suicidal thoughts) there's nothing anyone could have said that would have helped. I wouldn't have heard it anyway.

Don't sell yourself short lol. I am receptive. I listen. I agree. But you're totally right, I don't feel it matters anymore. Your fixing thing analogy really touched me. I hadn't realized how long I've been fixing things other people, sometimes me, have been breaking. And how tired of it I am. Just came back from a walk. About 4 a day now. Doesnt really help. But I figure it cant hurt. Thanks for the advice.

I can't wear a tiara. Some might accuse me of innapropriate workplaçe behavior. Or cultural appropriation. Or whatever the flavor of the month it is.
#18
(01-09-2019, 10:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I really thought that was going to say bra, not tiara.  lol

I can hardly adjust my bra when I'm feeling great Club
"You are as you are until you are not"

[Image: CooperativeWigglyArieltoucan-max-1mb.gif]
#19
(01-09-2019, 12:53 PM)AmyTheTemperamental Wrote:
(01-09-2019, 10:02 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: I really thought that was going to say bra, not tiara.  lol

I can hardly adjust my bra when I'm feeling great Club

Neither can I Big Grin

............
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
#20
According to certain members on ere I have a big rack Cool.If  I did I think I'd just let them float..if you know what I mean..braless is that right

God I need a job today Clubbetter get down the gym..
  Our greatest Glory is not in never falling , but
       in rising every time we fall


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