ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Case said:Sci-Fi said:
You mean Lack of Direction?
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Do you change your physical preferences?
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I wouldn't say my physical preferences "changed", so much as I threw away any restrictions I had before.
It doesn't have anything to do with desperation, giving up, thinking anything will be "easier", "lowering my standards" or anything like that. It's more of a realization that the range of looks I'm attracted to, is more than I thought.
Earlier, while I don't think I actively suppressed my attraction to bigger women, I didn't really encourage it either, because I think I unconsciously went along with society saying it was basically "wrong". And I just didn't think about it a lot.
Nowadays, I don't do that. I just let myself feel what I feel.
So I wouldn't say that I "changed" my physical preferences, so much as it was that I realized that there is a wider range on them than I thought, that it's not always/not really in agreement with society's standards, and that I'm more honest with myself and the world about it.
It doesn't have anything to do with desperation, giving up, thinking anything will be "easier", "lowering my standards" or anything like that. It's more of a realization that the range of looks I'm attracted to, is more than I thought.
Earlier, while I don't think I actively suppressed my attraction to bigger women, I didn't really encourage it either, because I think I unconsciously went along with society saying it was basically "wrong". And I just didn't think about it a lot.
Nowadays, I don't do that. I just let myself feel what I feel.
So I wouldn't say that I "changed" my physical preferences, so much as it was that I realized that there is a wider range on them than I thought, that it's not always/not really in agreement with society's standards, and that I'm more honest with myself and the world about it.
ardour
Well known loser
When I was younger I was mostly attracted to the white middle-class girls I grew up around. Bad experiences happened. Now I don't even see european descent women that way. I've morphed into a Women of Colour fetishist...the worst kind of degenerate according to reddit/tumblr/X
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Bev Thornton
Member
I've never had any. It's only heart and mind for me. How that comes through in speech and movement. Sapiosexual.
I am lucky enough to have had a few relationships. I can think of two women who chased me down. Meaning a connection developed because they pursued me. At those times I was of the mindset to never turn down an opportunity. If someone wants to meet me, they were gonna get the chance.
By no means did I feel these women were not attractive, just not my type. But as an emotional bond developed, I became physically attracted to them. Like the greater the emotional bond the greater the physical attractiveness the greater the emotional bond…
Sadly, looking back I feel one of those women was abusive to me. Yet when I see someone with her body type I still see attractiveness when I wouldn’t have seen it before I met the abusive person. She had my heart. Its hard to untie that knot.
So of course I have a physical preference for a partner. As I get older I try to ignore that preference. Too many times have I chased physical beauty only to realize it was skin deep. I won’t do that anymore. Emotional bond first to guide what is physical attractiveness.
So I guess my physical attraction has changed over time. I have forced it to the back of the line.
By no means did I feel these women were not attractive, just not my type. But as an emotional bond developed, I became physically attracted to them. Like the greater the emotional bond the greater the physical attractiveness the greater the emotional bond…
Sadly, looking back I feel one of those women was abusive to me. Yet when I see someone with her body type I still see attractiveness when I wouldn’t have seen it before I met the abusive person. She had my heart. Its hard to untie that knot.
So of course I have a physical preference for a partner. As I get older I try to ignore that preference. Too many times have I chased physical beauty only to realize it was skin deep. I won’t do that anymore. Emotional bond first to guide what is physical attractiveness.
So I guess my physical attraction has changed over time. I have forced it to the back of the line.
NoxApex(N/A)
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Results are gonna be different per person.
In my own case, physical attractiveness is really nothing more than an instinctual yes/no factor. In which case, it's a sliding scale. My longest relationship was with a woman that was less physically attractive (although I obviously wasn't totally unattracted, either), and that ran from 16 - 24.
I'm more interested in the characteristic depth of an individual, or the lack thereof in some cases. In a bit of a stump one day, amid my own frustrations I asked a friend of mine why it is I'm attracted to "crazy women," because even my sister has pointed out that I'm attracted to women who are kinda mentally unhinged. And I hate to admit it but she's kind of right. The thing is, that I did not know this about myself. It wasn't a conscious decision.
So when I talked to my friend about it he explained that it's because I'm highly creative and I'm easily bored with the shallow and simple rudimentary roundabouts of predictive frameworks. He's right. I AM easily bored by that.
But also at the same time, I'm certainly not excited about the potentiality for something that would create anxiety, panic and chaos within me, either. I actively try to avoid that.
I guess the TL;DR is that there's probably no answer for someone like me and what I actually want likely doesn't actually exist. Which is a hard pill I've come to learn to have to swallow, but that's just me though: I'd rather have a shitty reality than a bullshit fantasy.
In my own case, physical attractiveness is really nothing more than an instinctual yes/no factor. In which case, it's a sliding scale. My longest relationship was with a woman that was less physically attractive (although I obviously wasn't totally unattracted, either), and that ran from 16 - 24.
I'm more interested in the characteristic depth of an individual, or the lack thereof in some cases. In a bit of a stump one day, amid my own frustrations I asked a friend of mine why it is I'm attracted to "crazy women," because even my sister has pointed out that I'm attracted to women who are kinda mentally unhinged. And I hate to admit it but she's kind of right. The thing is, that I did not know this about myself. It wasn't a conscious decision.
So when I talked to my friend about it he explained that it's because I'm highly creative and I'm easily bored with the shallow and simple rudimentary roundabouts of predictive frameworks. He's right. I AM easily bored by that.
But also at the same time, I'm certainly not excited about the potentiality for something that would create anxiety, panic and chaos within me, either. I actively try to avoid that.
I guess the TL;DR is that there's probably no answer for someone like me and what I actually want likely doesn't actually exist. Which is a hard pill I've come to learn to have to swallow, but that's just me though: I'd rather have a shitty reality than a bullshit fantasy.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Physically I have only ever wanted to date a man that was tall, white, blue eyes... thats it. Mainly because thats the genetics I want to mix with mine for my children... no other reason. So people thought of some of the men I allowed to try and court me as... beneath me as well they may have been overweight or much older but I have only 3 physical boxes for men... the lucky dogs. Rest is obviously personality and monetary and blah blah.
MrLonely86
Well-known member
I'm demisexual, so it doesn't matter.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Awkward to read... when your name is Demi lmao
One more physical was no black hair, forgot to mention, very important
One more physical was no black hair, forgot to mention, very important
MrLonely86
Well-known member
Demisexual means what girl turns you on only if you feel emotionally connected with her, and then you are only attracted to her and no one else. In that case you much less care about looks than average person.
In that case you much less care about looks than average person.
CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
Demisexual …Demisexual means what girl turns you on only if you feel emotionally connected with her, and then you are only attracted to her and no one else.
I cant cope with this worldMrLonely86
Well-known member
Demisexual …
Trust me - this has more sense then 400 genders in American society. XD
ardour
Well known loser
Yea that's the problem though.
To be awful about it, past 45 or so a lot of people are totally unattractive, particularly white people, so the minimum requirement attraction isn't being met. Obviously this goes for men too but since I'm straight I'm not focused on finding a non-grandpa looking dude to settle down and go shopping at Ikea with.
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TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
That is not true. There are a lot of white people over 45 that are completely attractive.
ardour
Well known loser
I respectfully disagree.
ardour
Well known loser
And that's the best case '90s version of what average white forty somethings used to look like (add about 30 pounds now).
I know I'm not much to look at either (and probably aging)... but I could look like Father Christmas and it wouldn't change what was feasibly possible to find attractive. It's the emotional bond that keeps people together at this age.
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TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Considering Tim Allen IS Santa Clause, that's hilarious. And seriously, you pick Tim Allen, for what reason? Beacuse he's the most average celebrity you could find? Also, some people think he's good looking.
The "sexiest man alive" is often white and over 45. Patrick Dempsey (this year's choice) is 57.
It's like you only see what you want to see in the world to make your life and viewpoints "justified" or something. You should really stop doing that.
Demisexual isn't gender specific.Demisexual means what girl turns you on only if you feel emotionally connected with her, and then you are only attracted to her and no one else.
MrLonely86
Well-known member
HHmmm, I would kinda half agree. Being demisexual doesn't make you gay. If that is your point.
that's not my point. my point is that a demisexual only has an attraction to someone after they have formed a strong emotional bond with them. it doesn't specify a gender. it can be for the same gender.
