Do you change your physical preferences?

[MrLonely86]

that's not my point. my point is that a demisexual only has an attraction to someone after they have formed a strong emotional bond with them. it doesn't specify a gender. it can be for the same gender.

Aha, I think I got it. And yes, demisexual people can be both straight and gay.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Aha, I think I got it. And yes, demisexual people can be both straight and gay.

I agree… I think men and women are Demisexual alike

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Yea that's the problem though.

To be awful about it, past 45 or so a lot of people are totally unattractive, particularly white people, so the minimum requirement attraction isn't being met. Obviously this goes for men too but since I'm straight I'm not focused on finding a non-grandpa looking dude to settle down and go shopping at Ikea with.

Truthfully? If you're looking at a proper relationship with someone within at least a 15 year age gap, say a woman around 30 or so, in the 30+ range there's a pretty well-rounded understanding that looks don't last forever anyhow and that there are more important things to consider instead.

If you're going after women younger than that, than honestly I wouldn't advise it anyway. At 35, I don't even go after women in the 18 - 24 age range. I don't care how physically attractive they are, I can't converse with them. And if I can't converse with them, that's going to very easily kill my attraction to them.

The Laws of Attraction are all mental to begin with. All it takes is a few choice words or actions to make a person you once found deeply physically attractive significantly less appealing to you. Just ask anybody that has a love/hate relationship with their toxic although physically attractive ex. And the fact of the matter is, that ex, is kind of playing at a losing game as it is, eventually they're gonna get the boot and the doorslam.

On a personal level, I'm hard pressed to find a woman 4 years younger than me or more that I can really intimately talk to about the progression of our life together, in part due to the difference in lived life experiences.

Now obviously, this all gets scrapped if all you're looking for is a sexual experience with a younger woman. That's something entirely different, with an entirely different approach.

I'd actually wager that if all you're looking for is a sexual experience with a younger woman than that's, actually probably a little bit easier to satisfy. In modern times, very often people are sexually more casual than they are of non-sexual intimacy and/or actual romantic or emotionally-involved types of relations. Simply put: If you're a guy, and all you want is to get laid, now is kind of the time to be alive because doing so has never been easier. If you don't have money or muscles, you CAN learn game.

I guess the whole kind of depends on what you want.
I COULD run around and run game, but that kind of an experience isn't what I want.
See, what you want with the whole of it, really kind of dictates the path you need to take with it.

You DO also have to be mindful and respectful though, that just because you see an attractive woman does not necessarily mean that she is looking for the same kind of a relationship you are.
Or to put it simply: You can't really bargain or wager somebody who is entirely set in their will.
Or rather, you can't move a person out of their individually-chosen category of what they desire out of a relationship.
So if you find an incredibly attractive woman who is only interested in serious commitment, than you'll never bargain or or wager her out of that. Or rather, doing so is probably more impractical than it's really worth when in fact there are indeed other fish in the sea.
Inversely and of equal merit, if a woman finds a man who is just not interested in a committed relationship, she's never really going to be able to tie him down, because he doesn't want to be tied down in the first place.
Understand?
Ya gotta work with what's available.

 

[ardour]

Truthfully? If you're looking at a proper relationship with someone within at least a 15 year age gap, say a woman around 30 or so, in the 30+ range there's a pretty well-rounded understanding that looks don't last forever anyhow and that there are more important things to consider instead.

Aging appearances aren't such an issue when in the context of an emotional bond that developed over years. Finding a new person attractive at an already advanced age is different.

If you're going after women younger than that, than honestly I wouldn't advise it anyway. At 35, I don't even go after women in the 18 - 24 age range. I don't care how physically attractive they are, I can't converse with them. And if I can't converse with them, that's going to very easily kill my attraction to them.

I've met mid 20 somethings who seemed articulate and relatable, accepting the reality no woman this age should want anything to do with a middle aged loser. We don't all follow the same timeline anyway.

Einstein age 26. Think about your parents by that age; It was common for people to have a family and mortgage by mid-late 20s only a couple generations ago.

The Laws of Attraction are all mental to begin with.

Following that through to its conclusion and assuming you're straight, you'd be willing to be intimate with another man? We have innate responses and drives.

All it takes is a few choice words or actions to make a person you once found deeply physically attractive significantly less appealing to you.

Sure, but I don't think that necessarily works in reverse.

I'd actually wager that if all you're looking for is a sexual experience with a younger woman than that's, actually probably a little bit easier to satisfy.

No, that's not all I'm looking for. Full-on relationship or nothing, unfortunately.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Einstein age 26. Think about your parents by that age. It was common for people to have a family and mortgage by mid-late 20s only a couple generations ago.

For that matter, 40 years ago a house and a new car didn't cost the same, and now a house and a new car cost about the same. If I spent all of my time comparing my life to the past of others, nothing would ever get done. Furthermore, there's an interesting video about what it would cost adjusting for inflation to rebuild the Roman Coliseum with the exact same methods we have that we understand how they built it and using the exact same materials. Conclusively, it would cost more than the entire construction of the Burj Khalifa in India. Also, if J.D. Rockefeller were alive today, he would be worth upwards of X27 the amount of Bill Gates. This is why comparisons to both the past and to the world outside of you, are not good measurements. Self vs. Self, and staying in my own lane, has tended to work better.

Following that through to its conclusion and assuming you're straight, you'd be willing to be intimate with another man? We have innate responses and drives.

What is a proper platonic friendship? Do you not have intimate conversations with your fellow man? We build friendships among our same genders through understanding and empathy of our challenges and struggles. Your friends should empathize with you, and help you, or at the very least try to. If they aren't trying to help you, than are those people actually really your friends?

Sure, but I don't think that necessarily works in reverse. At least for me it doesn't.

Oh, it totally works in reverse for me. My ex is a blonde bombshell who was an aeronautics student pursuing electro-mechanical engineering and airplane engines. She threw it all away over drug addiction and now has an arrest record warranting even county sheriffs to take note. Just because she looks beautiful, doesn't mean she actually IS beautiful. She's actually extremely dangerous and now has a history of grand theft auto, armed robbery and racketeering. Plus, her drug abuse has totally destroyed her appearance over the last like 5 years. Basically she's the IRL Joker.

...Not unless I'm willing to pay for it. And no, that's not what I'm looking for. Full-on relationship or nothing, unfortunately.

Yeah no, definitely don't go outside of what it is that you want beyond a certain threshold. There's a difference between stretching your comfort zones, and totally obliterating yourself. Don't do the later.

 

[ardour]

Do you not have intimate conversations with your fellow man?

Sure, sometimes. It's strange that I have to point this out, but since I'm not innately attracted to men it's never veered into anything other than platonic, and the topic was attraction/romantic interest.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Sure, sometimes, but, it's strange that I have to point this out, since I'm not sexually attracted to men, and point was about attraction/romantic interest.

Probably just because you're not used to it. I am straight. But it's easier for me to have those kinds of conversations with men in part because I was briefly involved in a local fetish community for a while. I've also done quite a bit of sociological research despite my natural disposition against socialites as an introvert. My thoughts, do not typically, or rather do not often, have feeling attached to them. I have mostly weightless thoughts and so a cognitive approach to problem-solving is nearly innate to me. Keyword being nearly. I'd be inhuman perhaps to have it become totally innate.

Think of it, like a big book wherein all of the pages have been torn from the spine and scattered into a clutter. Dudes like me, are just trying to put the book back together again in proper sequential and comprehensive order.

 

[okidoke]

40 years ago a house and a new car didn't cost the same, and now a house and a new car cost about the same.

What??? No way. Houses are so much more expensive than cars. 10x more expensive at the least.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

What??? No way. Houses are so much more expensive than cars. 10x more expensive at the least.

If you're planning on a multi-roomed house for raising a family than yes. A small 1/1 or a 2/1 though with what they just did to the pricing in my state that's a bit different. I guess I should explain how I'm coming up with this:

The governor of Florida gutted the FEMA program, which is what helps insurance companies and home owners rebuild and repair after hurricane season. So since FEMA was gutted, insurance companies are all leaving the state because they don't want to have to bear the full responsibility of the insurance claims since Florida is very prone to hurricane damages, so whole big time companies are leaving the states, dropping 100,000+ customers in the state at a time.

And so likewise, you've also got flooding-proned areas where there are some remanufactured homes for rock bottom prices, but they are that way in part because the area is prone to flooding hazards. And the whole insurance thing is .

Truthfully, if you look into the history of Florida, and even the landscaping history of it, it never made a whole lot of actual practical sense to begin with. It's just that we don't have loaded aristocrats like Henry Flagler and J.D. Rockefeller dumping oodles of money into Florida anymore. And that'll probably never happen again.

A whole bunch of people moved here for cheap cost reasons during the early COVID years, a whole bunch of more people moved here just to get out of the big cities and their impractical pricings up North, but also the insurance issue and the flooding and the hurricane damages, people are also starting to leave again.

Which I'm okay with because we also unfortunately have a growing Neo-Nazi problem that's gotten so bad state officials are having to get involved to fight against it. So hopefully, that gtfo's.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't know. I saw a guy who was driving a roughly $300K Mustang this summer. I thought to myself, this guy pretty much is driving a house.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I don't know. I saw a guy who was driving a roughly $300K Mustang this summer. I thought to myself, this guy pretty much is driving a house.

Yeah my Robs car costs more than my victorian house with original victorian fireplace beforeI get in it he reminds me that fake tan will stain the interior when I dont wear fake tan just makes no sense having a car that you have to treat like a crystal

 

[ardour]

Considering Tim Allen IS Santa Clause, that's hilarious. And seriously, you pick Tim Allen, for what reason? Beacuse he's the most average celebrity you could find? Also, some people think he's good looking.

Yes that's why I chose him. Anyone who looks at average middle aged people in public will tell you that the vast majority of these individuals aren't attractive. Common sense and being out and about is all that's required to know this.

The "sexiest man alive" is often white and over 45. Patrick Dempsey (this year's choice) is 57.

Typical. A celebrity who would look good at almost any age. Edge of the bell curve stuff. Being in that kind of shape would be incredibly rare in his age let alone having his face.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Anyone who looks at average middle aged people in public will tell you that the vast majority of these individuals aren't attractive.

So, literally NO ONE would say that they are attractive? Common sense would say otherwise, considering how many have a wife or a girlfriend....

Being in that kind of shape would be incredibly rare in his age let alone having his face.

Actually, it's not as rare as you think it is. Fitness is making a comeback, especically in the older communities. Hell, I regularly see people in their 70's and 80's running down the road.


Is it hard to be this cynical? You must have to go well out of your way to accomplish this. Seriously, just get over it. The world is essentially run by "average" looking people, whether you think it is or not. Most of whom, are perfectly able to get a wife, family, girlfried, etc. Hell, some even have a wife AND girlfriends. You really need to let go of the excuses.

 

[ardour]

Common sense would say otherwise, considering how many have a wife or a girlfriend....

And when do you think most of these relationships started. 40s? We're supposed to pair up when we're young and more attractive with the emotional bond carrying it through into later life. Most 40/50 somethings aren't attractive because their hormone levels are dropping, the sex characteristics that make someone attractive are disappearing: Men look less masculine; women less feminine. Life is going down a gear. It's incredibly strange to be entering into new sexual unions at that age. The only people who do are those who need a companion.

 

[TheRealCallie]

And when do you think most of these relationships started. Their 40s? We're supposed to pair up when we're young and more attractive with the emotional bond carrying it through into later life. Most 40/50 somethings aren't attractive because their hormone levels are dropping, the secondary sex characteristics that make someone attractive are disappearing. Life is going down a gear. It's incredibly strange to be entering into new sexual unions at that age. The only people who do are those who need a companion.

Are we forgetting about the divorce rate in the world? Sure, people have relationships when they are younger, but only like half (or less than? I don't know the actual number) of those remain in that relationship when they are older, so that means a lot of them start over, get remarried, date. What's your next excuse?

 

[okidoke]

......so that means a lot of them start over, get remarried, date.......

um, not necessarily. maybe they try or want to, but doesn't mean they achieve that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

um, not necessarily. maybe they try or want to, but doesn't mean they achieve that.

Correct, but that also applies to women, right? So those women who have trouble finding someone and those men who are trying to find someone.....eventually, they find each other. But if they give up or make excuses, they will never find each other. Hell, I'm supposedly "attractive," yet I haven't found anyone yet. Why? Because my standards are higher than just wanting sex, which is what a lot of those "tall dark and handsome" guys or the "bad boys" that men think are stealing all the women seem to want. Obviously not all of them, but a lot of them. They want to have fun, they want those notches on the bedpost, they want one night stands, FWBs, whatever. A lot of them aren't looking for serious relationship. So I have to weed through them to find the guys that do. It's difficult at any age, but people of every age/generation/culture/whatever are looking for someone. That's why every group has their own dating site. Farmer's Only, SilverSingles, etc.....

 

[ardour]

Are we forgetting about the divorce rate in the world? Sure, people have relationships when they are younger, but only like half (or less than? I don't know the actual number) of those remain in that relationship when they are older, so that means a lot of them start over, get remarried, date. What's your next excuse?

Companionship is usually the main incentive for remarriage.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Yeah my Robs car costs more than my victorian house with original victorian fireplace beforeI get in it he reminds me that fake tan will stain the interior when I dont wear fake tan just makes no sense having a car that you have to treat like a crystal

Well, not to get too far offtopic here, but now I just have to know what it is.
Guessing it's some kind of special edition from one of the thoroughbreds, because I'm sure your house isn't cheap either.

My car was just a tiny fraction of any of that, but I treated it like a crystal too. It's the passion. It becomes a part of your character.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, not to get too far offtopic here, but now I just have to know what it is.
Guessing it's some kind of special edition from one of the thoroughbreds, because I'm sure your house isn't cheap either.

My car was just a tiny fraction of any of that, but I treated it like a crystal too. It's the passion. It becomes a part of your character.

Loool Ska red lambo something with custom this and remapped that he loves it more than me honestly

Oooh men and their cars

Could you be into a girl that hates cars and wants you to cycle ? oh and she never shaves either … because … “the environment”…