I used to wear a black hooded swear, baseball cap and shades.
Totally disconnecting myself from the world.
Plus I saw her beautiful face 24/7s everywhere I went
Covering up my tears. I was in love with a dead woman.
I hold my head up high. That's a consicous decision or military training I had.
For a while I notice I did staired at my shoes..to aviod eye contact or people.
The shades...aviod eye contacts. For a while I didn't care..and that was okay.
So it was just simple reflection of wheather i cared or didn't cared. (I'm just speaking for myself)
The military taught me alot about what it takes to be a man...
It was just a simple matter of me picking up those living tools and applying them in my life again.
Heck they use to make me march and run with my head held up high.
They used to make me stand at full attention for hours with my head held up high.
Then it was a matter of self disciplining myself.
Yes...I carry myself with a chip on my shoulder or prideful attitude.
That how and why some women asked me out.
Lately I've also incorporated an sort of propelling force pushing me forward.
It's gets me into moving forward mind set. Sometimes i have to make to body move
then my mind will follow.
Yeah...like Look !!!!! There's a pyshco ***** over there...go fucken ask her out anywho.
When I talk to people. I take off my shades now.
Alot of my friends are in recovery...We like to communicate eye to eye...without our eyes being
blood shot, glossy or dialated..lmao
It has something to do about being honest and real...lol
Hell people can usually tell if there's something going wrong with me just by looking at my face.
When you walk into a recovery room...it's like all of your BS, mask, lies, gets strip away.
You can't bullshit a bullshiter...everyone knows all the fucken lies and manipulations...
So...no piont in pretending..lol It's like you're naked to your soul....The fucken truth.
The songs gose like this....
You can't hide your lying eyes...and your smile..... in disguides.
I thought by now ..you'd relized, there ain't no way to hide your lying eyes.