How to remain having confidence when no womans wants me?

[user 115627]

I mean how do you know they are useful?
Are we supposed to get something from everyone's advice?

Frankly, I don't know if they turn out to be useful. But at least they were on topic. At least some people rubbed their brain cells together trying to help someone else out based on their experiences. And most of the time it's reasonable enough to not make anybody jump off a cliff. That's all I expect to get. And Hawx didn't jump off a cliff yet from what I've seen.

Why am I even talking to you about that? You didn't even give any advice. I don't count that poor attempt at irony down there.

Don't just quit now, there's someone from everybody. Not all women are like that. If you just keep trying you will succeed. All it takes is to have the confidence to not care what anyone thinks of you. I used to think like you until I decided I could control everything that happens to me (fresia quantum physics) and believe everything I wanted to believe. So stop complaining, you're just generalizing.

Since you're so interested in science and the truth I had expected you to collect some statistics and to draw us a chart on how good Hawx odds are at getting a woman. So he can decide for himself whether it's worth it or not. Maybe that's something you should do for yourself as well.

Nobody expects anybody to take on the world or to ignore that the majority what's happening on this planet is pure chaos. But from personal experience I can say: It's tiring to play the victim of circumstances forever.

PS: This is not your personal meta discussion playground. I'm only having this conversation cause I'm pissed off by your constant hijacking, hoping that your thirst for answers will be quenched eventually.

 

[Xpendable]

Since you're so interested in science and the truth I had expected you to collect some statistics and to draw us a chart on how good Hawx odds are at getting a woman. So he can decide for himself whether it's worth it or not. Maybe that's something you should do for yourself as well.

Even if I did those kind of things get dismissed here.

Nobody expects anybody to take on the world or to ignore that the majority what's happening on this planet is pure chaos. But from personal experience I can say: It's tiring to play the victim of circumstances forever.

Playing the victim or not won't affect that caos anyway.

PS: This is not your personal meta discussion playground. I'm only having this conversation cause I'm pissed off by your constant hijacking, hoping that your thirst for answers will be quenched eventually.

Everyone has thirst for answers and for truth. The hard task is to accept when those answers hurt us. I don't know anything about OP, I wouldn't be so arrogant to say I know a solution. Maybe with more information. I don't want to hijack, I want to know the process on which people base their believes.

 

[user 115627]

Even if I did those kind of things get dismissed here.

Playing the victim or not won't affect that chaos anyway.

Yet you did it again with your former statement. You assume that everyone would dismiss it.

Everyone has thirst for answers and for truth. The hard task is to accept when those answers hurt us. I don't know anything about OP, I wouldn't be so arrogant to say I know a solution. Maybe with more information. I don't want to hijack, I want to know the process on which people base their believes.

I'm not here for the semantics or the philosophy. This is not a matter of arrogance. He didn't even ask for a solution - he asked for advice. Nothing more and nothing less.

I'll only say this once and won't bother replying afterwards. I advice you to do the same. Whatever your intentions are, they are overshadowed by your stubborn quest for truth at any sacrifice which usually puts your personal issues into the spotlight on the backs of other people.

 

[Xpendable]

Yet you did it again with your former statement. You assume that everyone would dismiss it.

No sir, not assuming. It has literally happened. People here have dismissed studies because they didn't like what they said. Maybe not everyone, but the ones that matters.

Whatever your intentions are, they are overshadowed by your stubborn quest for truth at any sacrifice which usually puts your personal issues into the spotlight on the backs of other people.

That's pretty accurate. I'm not being sarcastic, I think that's what usually goes on around my life. Nevertheless, I believe the sacrifice is worth it. I can't lie, I just can't pretend I can help people with issues I suffer myself. I can't retreat into myself so to believe the world would accept me if I do X or Y. Things are a lot more complicated than just being "confident". There's just a certain measure of information people can accept before falling into the usual bias. I'll take chemotherapy anyday instead of just a placebo. Anything else and I wouldn't consider myself free.

Sorry for replying anyway, but there's more people who can get something from this.

 

[BeyondShy]

Sorry for replying anyway, but there's more people who can get something from this.

I'm sure I would if I knew what you were talking about.

 

[TheRealCallie]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.
Should I keep continuing chasing women and spend energy on or just accept the life of singledom?

Yeah, you're exaggerating here. I'm sorry, but no, not all women reject you the moment they see you. It sounds to me like YOU reject you the moment a woman sees you and you pass it off as something like "well, obviously she hates me and wants nothing to do with me."

Why don't you stop focusing so much on girls and start focusing on yourself and why you seem to hate yourself (or at least dislike yourself) so much? You should accept that you are single RIGHT NOW and get on with your life. Stop worrying about other people and start worrying about yourself.



And on a side note. People can't hijack a thread if you don't help them do so. Don't engage the hijackers and they won't get far.

 

[Veruca]

I am guessing you don't mean all women, though I can understand how it feels that way. Rejection is painful and blows our self esteem, especially when it happens repeatedly. Even confident people can have trouble dealing with this.

I think the first thing to do is to look beyond the hurt, and see that even if a lot of people reject us, they do not represent everyone out there. Secondly, this affects us because its the people who we like who reject us? That means that there still could be people out there who are interested in us, and even if its not the same thing, its not so bad.

Rejection is often viewed as a direct insult to who we are, we take it personally. That can't be helped, I know...but I think its good to have a think about it too. We assume that people reject us because we are not worthy/good looking, etc. But people could be rejecting us for their own personal reasons. Perhaps their lives are too hectic, maybe that have too many responsibilities etc.

And even if we are rejected for who we are, it shouldn't make us doubt our value. After all, we too have rejected others. And its not always because the other person was terrible.

You asked a good question about remaining confident despite rejection. Rejection won't affect us if we are confident first. Confidence shouldn't depend on others. Building confidence is a different process for everyone. Some people engage in activities they love and excel in, some help others to feel a sense of purpose, some give themselves a makeover. A lot of the time, its about being able to accept and love yourself I think. I find that making choices with a clear conscience helps build confidence and self belief.

I know it feels awful, so many of us can relate on the forum, but its not so bad once you see it differently. Good luck!

 

[Xpendable]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.
Should I keep continuing chasing women and spend energy on or just accept the life of singledom?

What else?

I don't know who you are.
I don't know how you look like.
I don't know how you are as a person.
I don't know the women who have rejected you.
I don't know your cultural background.
I don't know the context in which the rejections happened.
I don't know how other people perceive you.
I don't know how you perceive the world.
I don't know you upbringing.
I don't know what factors have conducted your life to this point.

If we are willing to take the approach that everything is subjective and that no person is remotely similar to another, then how can we advise you? If we pretend all 7 billion people in the world have different experiences and we can't generalize anything, how can we give you a general response?

 

[SivaGCool]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.
Should I keep continuing chasing women and spend energy on or just accept the life of singledom?

I've been there, and it really sucks. I'd say, stop chasing.
Why are you chasing? For Whom? Yourself. Don't be afraid to be yourself, Don't be afraid to Love Yourself!

 

[Despicable Me]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.

Believing that literally no one will ever give you a chance is definitely not the way to maintain any confidence.
No point in generalizing. Just keep your head up and keep looking. There's no real trick to what you're asking other than realizing that failure in the past does not mean failure in the future. Take things for what they really are and move on.

 

[Batman55]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.
Should I keep continuing chasing women and spend energy on or just accept the life of singledom?

What else?

I don't know who you are.
I don't know how you look like.
I don't know how you are as a person.
I don't know the women who have rejected you.
I don't know your cultural background.
I don't know the context in which the rejections happened.
I don't know how other people perceive you.
I don't know how you perceive the world.
I don't know you upbringing.
I don't know what factors have conducted your life to this point.

If we are willing to take the approach that everything is subjective and that no person is remotely similar to another, then how can we advise you? If we pretend all 7 billion people in the world have different experiences and we can't generalize anything, how can we give you a general response?

Well I'm aware this will seem to be a strange response, but because you make some sense with your statements there.. is it not conceivable we could find a way to more clearly analyze Hawx's plight? Could the OP morally wear a camera pen (can be cheaply acquired on Amazon) on his shirt when he's in public, at the store, or whatever and record the response of women to his presence?

As for those who wonder if I'm actually serious with this idea.. I'd say "half serious." I'm aware it might be perceived as a creepy/stalkerish kind of thing... but look at it this way: wouldn't it be nice to try and identify someone's problem with greater accuracy, for once, rather than just talking about it?

The alternative is he can go to a dating coach. But I get the impression that Hawx does not want a coach, or a therapist, to help him with this "anti-women repellent" he seems to deal with. It's up to us, on the internet.

Just a thought, anyway..

 

[Triple Bogey]

How do I remain my self worth when no woman wants me?
When they all reject me the moment they see me? I may be rich or really funny lol. The moment they see me its hate on first sight for them.
Should I keep continuing chasing women and spend energy on or just accept the life of singledom?

What else?

I don't know who you are.
I don't know how you look like.
I don't know how you are as a person.
I don't know the women who have rejected you.
I don't know your cultural background.
I don't know the context in which the rejections happened.
I don't know how other people perceive you.
I don't know how you perceive the world.
I don't know you upbringing.
I don't know what factors have conducted your life to this point.

If we are willing to take the approach that everything is subjective and that no person is remotely similar to another, then how can we advise you? If we pretend all 7 billion people in the world have different experiences and we can't generalize anything, how can we give you a general response?

Well I'm aware this will seem to be a strange response, but because you make some sense with your statements there.. is it not conceivable we could find a way to more clearly analyze Hawx's plight? Could the OP morally wear a camera pen (can be cheaply acquired on Amazon) on his shirt when he's in public, at the store, or whatever and record the response of women to his presence?

As for those who wonder if I'm actually serious with this idea.. I'd say "half serious." I'm aware it might be perceived as a creepy/stalkerish kind of thing... but look at it this way: wouldn't it be nice to try and identify someone's problem with greater accuracy, for once, rather than just talking about it?

The alternative is he can go to a dating coach. But I get the impression that Hawx does not want a coach, or a therapist, to help him with this "anti-women repellent" he seems to deal with. It's up to us, on the internet.

Just a thought, anyway..

great idea, would be very interesting.

 

[Tiina63]

Some people have suggested here that the op's sense of worth should not depend on how others see him. However, although this is on one hand good advice, on the other hand I think that most of us need others to think well of us and to accept us in order to feel confident and to accept ourselves fully. It is hard to feel lovable and worthwhile if you face being ostracised, bullied and/or otherwise rejected by multiple people and in many different environments.

 

[Rosebolt]

^ It becomes alot harder, that is true. However, i think alot of the OP's troubles will disintegrate when his self worth gets up to healthy standards. Sadly, he is the only one that can do that. We me feel alot of the times that people need to accept us in order for our self worth to stay healthy, but this is not the case. The answer is in the term, self worth.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If you put it into perspective, everyone gets rejected. Steve Jobs got fired from Apple before it was successful. Walt Disney was told he had no imagination. Etc.

I sometimes think like you, but I know some women like me...as friends. I haven't met anyone who likes me more than that, but am I just going to give up? I know I would make a good boyfriend, but there is a time and place for everything.

I disagree that you can control everything. You can't make someone like you if they don't. But every person is different, and one person may like you when another one doesn't like you. Nobody is universally liked in this world, and you just have to keep trying.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you put it into perspective, everyone gets rejected. Steve Jobs got fired from Apple before it was successful. Walt Disney was told he had no imagination. Etc.

Disney stole nearly every story they've ever done. But I get your point. Rejection is simply a part of life.

 

[Xpendable]

Well I'm aware this will seem to be a strange response...

I was partially joking, especially in the last part. About how we can't generalize people when we make questions, but we all get the same general answers as if the solution was the same for everyone.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well I'm aware this will seem to be a strange response...

I was partially joking, especially in the last part. About how we can't generalize people when we make questions, but we all get the same general answers as if the solution was the same for everyone.

No one ever said the solution is the same. But when someone asks for advice, all we can give is those that we feel are best or that we think might work. It is then up to the OP (or anyone) to decide which method might work for them, or even a combination of all of them.
No one is the same, but giving advice or things that worked for us as individuals might give them a place to start to find the right path for them.

 

[Xpendable]

No one ever said the solution is the same. But when someone asks for advice, all we can give is those that we feel are best or that we think might work. It is then up to the OP (or anyone) to decide which method might work for them, or even a combination of all of them.
No one is the same, but giving advice or things that worked for us as individuals might give them a place to start to find the right path for them.

That's good I guess. Sadly we can't know if it works.

 

[Paraiyar]

I really think the fear of rejection is often worse than the actual thing.