My extensive rant on women, relationships, dating, PUA, and society

[Ak5]

happiness is contagious

it's also a journey, not a destination

happiness is attractive

i don't think women are nearly as superficial as you think. sure, there is a certain segment that are. but that goes both ways, male and female

all this alpha male stuff will rot your mind

walk to the mirror right now, take a good hard long look at yourself, and say out loud "what do i have to offer as a potential mate?"

think about that^, work on that^, and quit wasting your time on philosophical reproductive tendencies of homosapiens.

if what you have to offer is:

- pessimism
- anxiety
- anger
- resentment
- desperation
- closed-mindedness
- obnoxiousness
- one-track thinking
- tons of unworked-on emotional baggage
- etc

... i can't possibly imagine why dates are not flocking to your doorstep.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Maybe the social scene in the UK or australia or NORWAY is different, but here in America it's really not all it's cracked up to be.

happiness is contagious

it's also a journey, not a destination

happiness is attractive

i don't think women are nearly as superficial as you think. sure, there is a certain segment that are. but that goes both ways, male and female

all this alpha male stuff will rot your mind

walk to the mirror right now, take a good hard long look at yourself, and say out loud "what do i have to offer as a potential mate?"

think about that^, work on that^, and quit wasting your time on philosophical reproductive tendencies of homosapiens.

if what you have to offer is:

- pessimism
- anxiety
- anger
- resentment
- desperation
- closed-mindedness
- obnoxiousness
- one-track thinking
- tons of unworked-on emotional baggage
- etc

... i can't possibly imagine why dates are not flocking to your doorstep.

The last bit was correct, but the rest of it was unbelievably generic and cliche.

 

[blackhole]

The last bit was correct, but the rest of it was unbelievably generic and cliche.

i was going for cliche!

some cliches are very true, that's why they are cliches.

besides, it wasn't horribly cliched, it was wonderfulllllly cliched.

 

[JamaisVu]

Also, you mentioned wanting "any" girl...do you think perhaps you're giving off a little bit of an air of desperation when talking to these girls? That's often subconscious, but can be a huge turn off. A girl will want to be with you because you want her, not "any" girl.

This is so true. I think it's one of the biggest mistakes men make in the way they approach women. Show interest in us as unique individuals.

 

[Equinox]

Also, you mentioned wanting "any" girl...do you think perhaps you're giving off a little bit of an air of desperation when talking to these girls? That's often subconscious, but can be a huge turn off. A girl will want to be with you because you want her, not "any" girl.

I'm not really a christian, but still: AMEN.

 

[firebird85]

intelligent, quiet, ANY girls really. Having worked in the workforce there were times where I'd be the only male employee and I'd talk about work stuff with the girls but that would be it, outside of that they'd want nothing to do with me. It's really hard to find girls my age, maybe it's just cause I'm not in college or working right now but that's just what I've seen. Another thing I've seen is how if you ever do see a girl who is in your age range it's like they are disconnected from guys.

I'm studying, so I tend to meet quite a few girls 19-22. Most of them seem interested in guys.

I reckon it's probably at least in part because you're not studying or working that you're not finding similar girls to you. I'm sort of lucky in one regard - working in a scientific field attracts intelligent girls (and very pretty ones actually, those "nerd" stereotypes can get out ) who share my interests perhaps.

Also, you mentioned wanting "any" girl...do you think perhaps you're giving off a little bit of an air of desperation when talking to these girls? That's often subconscious, but can be a huge turn off. A girl will want to be with you because you want her, not "any" girl.

Imagine if a girl went out with you because she wanted "any" guy. It suggests a lack of stability or commitment.

I had my own personal combat with being sort of "desperate lonely", then I realised that there was 0 point in kissing or going out with a girl for the hell of it. Once you get over that kind of rationalisation that feeling fades.

How do you carry yourself in general? Do you try to maintain an air of confidence, however flimsy it may be?

I'm not saying be fake, you must always be yourself I think, especially if you want someone that's going to care about you personally. But you should try to be optimistic and give off body language that is also positive.

I used to look at the floor a lot and sort of walk around looking away from people, I've worked hard to turn that into standing tall and looking at people as much as I can, it helps a ton.

My suggestion would be, next time you're at work or whatever:

- Pick a girl you find attractive (whether a mix of physical or personality or whatever)
- Walk towards that girl. Think positively, be in as good a mood as you can be. Give her a smile. Not huge, mouth open grin. Just a happy, pleased smile.
- If she smiles back that's a good first step. If not, she may be distracted or not paying attention, so don't worry.
- Just ask "How's it going?" or something basic like that. Chat about what you did at the weekend, any good films you saw...
- When/if you feel that your confidence is waning, make a polite excuse (I have to go sort out blah blah) and move on. Give her another smile if you feel it's appropriate.

If you're confident and happy or seem confident and happy most of the time, that's naturally attractive.

I tried that before, with this one girl that worked for a couple days in my old department, what I did was I would single her out from everyone else and say bye when my shift was over and sometimes I would crack lame jokes and she would laugh but she never noticed me. I'm more interested in girls who are genuine and honest, not egotistical and shallow. Yeah I may not be in a good environment and I may not get out as much as you do but when I do I find it to be a dead end. I really can't put a finger on why I'm seen as this emotionless, quiet, creep when to others I'm just an easy-going, strong silent type genuine person. Working really brought me out of my shell but that was a job I was comfortable with and used to. It varies.

I think it's a shame that people who are introverted or have a harder time opening up are often stereotyped out unfairly. Isn't that what getting to know someone is for, isn't it supposed to be both people getting to know each other? why is it like the shyer person has all the burden pushed on their shoulders? Or am I supposed to be the one who does everything? why because I'm a male? and I have to follow gender roles? while a girl can be mute but have good looks and have tons of guys hitting on her everywhere she goes? I just don't know how to bypass the anti-social atmosphere I encounter here in the US.

You obviously aren't at the level I'm at..........anymore.....

I'm one of those guys who has really no true experiences or anything, and because of that it makes you stick out like a sore thumb when you do go out there, and the girls can't relate to you because of it, and they shun you.

 

[Equinox]

"what I did was I would single her out from everyone else and say bye when my shift was over and sometimes I would crack lame jokes and she would laugh but she never noticed me." Yes, and then what? Did you just leave it at that, expecting her to jump your bones because you said bye when your shift was over and cracked a few jokes? I'd never think that a guy who said bye to me and cracked jokes was interested - I'd just assume he was being polite and friendly.

And yes, it is a shame that extroverted people have it easier, but that's just how things are. It's like saying "it's a shame that fish are better swimmers". I wish I could swim as well as a fish, but I don't have that tail or those finns. Basically, I'm not a fish, and I can't blame the fish for that. I am what I am, and it's up to me if I want to evolve into a better me, or if I want to keep whining about not being a fish.

A do sort of agree with some of the things you're saying. Your main problem, however, is that you think these issues are only a problem for men, and that they don't apply to women. Even more, you BLAME women for these problems, and it's about time you realize how spaced and ridiculous that is.

"(...) while a girl can be mute but have good looks and have tons of guys hitting on her everywhere she goes". True again, women with supermodel looks have MANY options. So does MEN with supermodel looks. I've seen many a handsome man being hit on by tons of girls.

Your beef isn't really with women. Your beef is with those people who are above average physically attractive.

 

[firebird85]

It sucks being a guy who doesn't get the time of day from girls. It really does. I just see no comparison between that and a woman who isn't successful, but still gets the time of day from guys. What I'd like to see is women or girls who persue guys. That would be interesting. I think what would do it for me would be a real life scenario where I was in a social setting somewhere or school or a job or wherever and a girl went out of her way to get to know me, and was always persistant, bringing me out of my shell, girls like that are rare to find.

 

[Limlim]

Why would she do that though? Seems kind of a random thing to do. Pick a dude outta nowhere you know nothing about and aren't attracted to to see if he has something worth knowing about? That's a of a lot of work and I sure as hell wouldn't do that for a random girl.

Might as well start digging a hole under your feet to see if there's gold buried there.

 

[Ak5]

Because we're stronger, that's why. No mean to be sexist; its just the way things are. Oh and girls do go after guys, only the select ones.

Hell, go homosexual if you don't like heterosexual relationships.

 

[firebird85]

Oh and girls do go after guys, only the select ones.

well that's the problem

 

[Ak5]

It's not a problem. It's the way things are.

 

[firebird85]

Not always. You're one of those egotistical guys who thinks defending bad female behavior will get you admired. Good luck. Just like the guy in the video said, you guys in your 20's listening to this who think it's just the way that it is, you don't have a rewind button to see the difference.

 

[Ak5]

Oh fresia, you have deep issues that a simple Forum will not mend. You need a good therapist. Instead of finding out what is wrong with yourself so you can fix the problem and have regular friends and girlfriends, you blame everyone else.

Your going to have to come to terms some day.

What I most fear from this is that one day your going to find the perfect girl.... And your just going to brush her off due to your cynical thoughts.

Just calm down, relax, be cool, and live. You will find a girlfriend, I can guarantee you 99%. Now, if you continue with this train of thought you won't; unless you find a saint-like girl, which there are few in this world.

Oh, and you can think whatever the fresia you want about me. I am going to get a girlfriend!

 

[blackhole]

women traditionally like to be adored.

as a man, that makes you the adorer.

not the adoree.

if you want to be adored...

i recommend homosexuality.

find some big bear who will hold you tight, stroke your curly locks, caress your sassy curves,

and give YOU ALL THE LOVE YOU NEED!

 

[Limlim]

Why would she do that though? Seems kind of a random thing to do. Pick a dude outta nowhere you know nothing about and aren't attracted to to see if he has something worth knowing about? That's a of a lot of work and I sure as hell wouldn't do that for a random girl.

Might as well start digging a hole under your feet to see if there's gold buried there.

 

[firebird85]

Why would she do that though? Seems kind of a random thing to do. Pick a dude outta nowhere you know nothing about and aren't attracted to to see if he has something worth knowing about? That's a of a lot of work and I sure as hell wouldn't do that for a random girl.

Might as well start digging a hole under your feet to see if there's gold buried there.

so you are saying a woman shouldn't have to approach and a guy has to? why the gender division? because men are "supposed" to? that's more of the unbalance.

let me ask you this, why does a man have to approach? because "that's the way things are"? give me a break.

Your main problem, however, is that you think these issues are only a problem for men, and that they don't apply to women.

and yes, I truly believe they don't apply to women. Because I really have yet to see or meet one in real life that is living a life where they can't find somebody (and never had anyone period).

 

[MikeSmith911]

Here dude, I'll add another video that's more fitting to this post:

[video=youtube]

Firebird85, you are getting so far wallowing in self-pity and complaining like a child. You're on the right track, keep posting your rants, surely they will get you laid bro! I swear to God if some people on this board invested even half the effort they do complaining into actually doing something productive - such as advancing their career, working on their social skills, improving themselves physically, etc, they would be rich, hot, and successful and then have no problem getting it in lol.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Why shouldn't there be a gender difference? Evolutionary psychology would also suggest that the male is to approach because it is more likely to select boys with courage and risk-taking, which which are actually more positive traits in men than woman by a pure genetic perspective; a risky lifestyle by a male selects him for traits such as strength, intelligence, etc and the death of the male is much less immediately harmful to any descendants.

I'm not really sure how its 'bad female behavior'; the moral assessment that choosiness is somewhat negative seems dubious. It also suggests that its not universal, but women more or less have always been attracted to certain types of men. I'm trying to get your point, but I'm not groking it.

 

[nerdygirl]

Eh... Guys often think they want a girl to be the one who initiates things, but when it happens, they're uncomfortable. I've been in this situation and I've known other people in it. Even if there's mutual attraction, a lot of guys just feel weird and awkward when the girl pursues him.