Despicable Me said:
Is it odd that I even forgive the insects? I feel bad killing any of them. I do not really want to hurt anything. I will still kill a mosquito biting me, but I know that it is only because she wants children. Do you know that mosquitoes only require blood to produce eggs? They normally eat flower nectar. Only the females drink blood, so that they can have a family. I cannot blame them for what they do. I can only stop them when they do it. And, perhaps for my own sake, I can try to understand why they do what they do.
I feel bad about killing insects and the like, as well. In fact, when I see them in the house, I try to catch them and toss them outside. In the cold months, I've been just leaving them alone entirely. I saw a spider inside yesterday but figured it was too cold for it outside, so I just left it be. I don't blame insects or similar creatures either. I just get irritated at the bites sometimes.
I knew it's only the female mosquitoes that bite, but I thought that's just what they ate. I didn't know that they mostly eat nectar. I learned something new today
Despicable Me said:
No one has to 'forgive their childhood bully', but they do need to forgive themselves for allowing themselves to get bullied, and for not standing up for themselves and fighting back. You cannot live a normal life carrying that kind of burden, with self-blame.
This I can do. I don't forgive my childhood bullies, though now that I realize that they never truly had the power to hurt me, I can forget them.
But I can and do forgive myself, like you said - for allowing it to happen, for not standing up to them, and for not fighting back. I didn't know any better. It wasn't my fault for being weak or awkward or anything else, because it wasn't my fault at all. It was their fault for choosing to be rotten people. I learned my lesson that while it would be nice if we could all get along, some people just like to be jerks. But most of the time, they aren't worth ruining my mood. And knowing this, I feel it has been resolved.
lonelypanda said:
Seriously I'm like a panda, cute to look at haha but at the end of the day I'm still a bear! Grrrrr don't mess with me.
^This made me chuckle
lonelypanda said:
I wasn't really bullied in school, there was a few instances of people starting with me but nothing major. I was a loner, haha to me it would be awkward. I have terrible memory, even now sometimes people will recognize me from school and I have to fake remember them. Also some of them were bullies, maybe not to me, but I don't want to hang around people who are cruel by nature. People usually don't change, theres bullies at my work and they were prob bullies in high school. They never outgrow it.
That's how it was for me too. I wasn't bullied by everyone. Some people would start stuff from time to time but it never really turned into anything. There was just one particular group of jerks who had it in for me.
I agree with you, I wouldn't want to hang out with bullies either, even if they didn't bully me. It's like you said, they are cruel by nature. I feel like there is something very wrong with someone who finds fun in tormenting someone. It's not right.
lonelypanda said:
ETA I don't know why I can't quote properly haha I suck at life.
It's because you're using the backwards slash, like this: [\quote]
Use the forward slash, the one on the same key as the question mark. That's the one you want, like this: [/quote]
There ya go
lonelypanda said:
I think that's a personality trait. My doctor said your personality is set from 5, thinking back I am the same way I was when I was in grade school. Stubborn, independent, never went with the flow, never cared what people thought, even if they teased me i was confident enough that it never phased me.
My daughter is going through some bullying and the schools don't do much. She's 7 and a boy punched her really hard, not the first time either and they've done nothing. It's taking every ounce of my being not to go over to the school and beat the honeysuckle out of a little 7 yr old boy. When I was her exact age that was happening to me, but I turned around and bit him so hard he bled, never bothered me again. My daughters so mousy though and sweet, she's not the "stand up for yourself" kinda kid and she's so obsessed with fitting in. It scares me, I want to toughen her up. Another little girl told her she looks like a boy because she wears pants, since then she refuses to wear pants and will only wear skirts and dresses to school
Eh, I don't know if I agree with this. I don't think our personalities are set from age 5 onwards. Lots of things can change a person's personality for better or for worse. I think personalities are just collections of habits, and we learn to believe these collections of habits are who we really are. I do believe it's changeable though. It might be difficult at first, like any new habit. But I do believe a person can change their personality at least to some level.
Oh man. I was the same way as your daughter when I was a kid, only I was a guy so that probably made it worse for me. I was a mousy, nice, and sweet person, not the "stand up for yourself" kind of person at all. I only started thinking that way later, when I realized that I didn't want to be treated that way anymore.
I hope things can get better for your daughter and that she can learn to stand up for herself, but I hope that she can do so without sacrificing her sweet side. I hope that the other kids don't make her turn out bitter and jaded. I hope she can find the balance between confidence and friendliness.