What does 'good looking' mean ?

[ladyforsaken]

How you treat the people you know is the most important thing. But here's the thing. A good looking person can get away with being disrespectful to people a lot longer because of his looks. An average guy better not pull the same stuff because he won't be able to charm his way out of things that easy.

Speak for yourself here. If you're wise, you'll see right through a good-looking guy with a bad personality. Bad personality traits are not all that nebulous or hard to spot.

Back to the OP and I think some other responders have made the same comment - I think good-looking is subjective. Some people like tall blondes, some people like short brunettes and the list could go on and on. But there are some basics that most feel are attractive for both men and women - clean clothes, groomed hair and nails, brushed teeth. Beyond that, I think is mostly a matter of personal opinion.

-Teresa

+1

 

[Triple Bogey]

How you treat the people you know is the most important thing. But here's the thing. A good looking person can get away with being disrespectful to people a lot longer because of his looks. An average guy better not pull the same stuff because he won't be able to charm his way out of things that easy.

Speak for yourself here. If you're wise, you'll see right through a good-looking guy with a bad personality. Bad personality traits are not all that nebulous or hard to spot.

Back to the OP and I think some other responders have made the same comment - I think good-looking is subjective. Some people like tall blondes, some people like short brunettes and the list could go on and on. But there are some basics that most feel are attractive for both men and women - clean clothes, groomed hair and nails, brushed teeth. Beyond that, I think is mostly a matter of personal opinion.

-Teresa

This is most probably true but how many people on here blame their looks for their downfall ? eg the failure to attract somebody. It's a lot.
And why do people do that ? They don't want to admit their personalities are to blame ?

 

[TheRealCallie]

How you treat the people you know is the most important thing. But here's the thing. A good looking person can get away with being disrespectful to people a lot longer because of his looks. An average guy better not pull the same stuff because he won't be able to charm his way out of things that easy.

Speak for yourself here. If you're wise, you'll see right through a good-looking guy with a bad personality. Bad personality traits are not all that nebulous or hard to spot.

Back to the OP and I think some other responders have made the same comment - I think good-looking is subjective. Some people like tall blondes, some people like short brunettes and the list could go on and on. But there are some basics that most feel are attractive for both men and women - clean clothes, groomed hair and nails, brushed teeth. Beyond that, I think is mostly a matter of personal opinion.

-Teresa

This is most probably true but how many people on here blame their looks for their downfall ? eg the failure to attract somebody. It's a lot.
And why do people do that ? They don't want to admit their personalities are to blame ?

It's easier to blame looks than personality. The first requires a look in the mirror and using your own brain to see faults that may or may not be there. The second requires you to REALLY look at yourself and find traits that aren't exactly "good" and then figure out how to fix them.

This is, of course, my own opinion.

 

[SofiasMami]

Wow, you are asking some tough but interesting questions , TB!
I think most people are really just average-looking. Since I don't believe in fate or anything like that, I think many factors out of our control play into whether or not one finds a partner.

-Teresa

 

[Triple Bogey]

Wow, you are asking some tough but interesting questions , TB!
I think most people are really just average-looking. Since I don't believe in fate or anything like that, I think many factors out of our control play into whether or not one finds a partner.

-Teresa

I think 'luck' plays a great part.

---

How you treat the people you know is the most important thing. But here's the thing. A good looking person can get away with being disrespectful to people a lot longer because of his looks. An average guy better not pull the same stuff because he won't be able to charm his way out of things that easy.

Speak for yourself here. If you're wise, you'll see right through a good-looking guy with a bad personality. Bad personality traits are not all that nebulous or hard to spot.

Back to the OP and I think some other responders have made the same comment - I think good-looking is subjective. Some people like tall blondes, some people like short brunettes and the list could go on and on. But there are some basics that most feel are attractive for both men and women - clean clothes, groomed hair and nails, brushed teeth. Beyond that, I think is mostly a matter of personal opinion.

-Teresa

This is most probably true but how many people on here blame their looks for their downfall ? eg the failure to attract somebody. It's a lot.
And why do people do that ? They don't want to admit their personalities are to blame ?

It's easier to blame looks than personality. The first requires a look in the mirror and using your own brain to see faults that may or may not be there. The second requires you to REALLY look at yourself and find traits that aren't exactly "good" and then figure out how to fix them.

This is, of course, my own opinion.

It is quite easy to become bitter though when you see a complete arse hole walking around with somebody nice on his arm. Especially when they don't treat their girlfriends nice in public. I see so many rude blokes with girlfriends. I'm sure they haven't 'fixed' their personalities.

I know I can be a arse on here but in the real world I try to be nice, polite, caring and kind to everybody I meet. And yeah women seem to like me, but they don't want to go out with me. And I guess that's because I'm not attractive, sexy, cool etc. Which then goes back to how I look.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It is quite easy to become bitter though when you see a complete arse hole walking around with somebody nice on his arm. Especially when they don't treat their girlfriends nice in public. I see so many rude blokes with girlfriends. I'm sure they haven't 'fixed' their personalities.

I know I can be a arse on here but in the real world I try to be nice, polite, caring and kind to everybody I meet. And yeah women seem to like me, but they don't want to go out with me. And I guess that's because I'm not attractive, sexy, cool etc. Which then goes back to how I look.

But, how do you know someone's an *******? Even if they act out in public, we had no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Even if the other person says they get hit and abused, how do we know that for sure? Just because someone treats someone a certain way in public, doesn't mean they're horrible. That might just be the dynamic of their relationship.

 

[Xpendable]

But, how do you know someone's an *******? Even if they act out in public, we had no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

Doesn't matter. If they do it in public they are ******** right away.

Even if the other person says they get hit and abused, how do we know that for sure?

If feminists heard you right now.

Just because someone treats someone a certain way in public, doesn't mean they're horrible. That might just be the dynamic of their relationship.

Stop justifying it, it happens. Sometimes total ******** can get nice partners and abuse them. They are ******** objectively and their behavior doesn't filter through any sort of mental gymnastics. ******** attract people to them. If that wasn't true ******** wouldn't exists.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes and sometimes people who are sweet as sugar in public kick the honeysuckle out of their wives/girlfriends in private.....

 

[ardour]

I know I can be a arse on here but in the real world I try to be nice, polite, caring and kind to everybody I meet. And yeah women seem to like me, but they don't want to go out with me. And I guess that's because I'm not attractive, sexy, cool etc. Which then goes back to how I look.

Maybe it does. Maybe you're polite and courteous in real life, but you've said some callous things here that I know for a fact have hurt people while seemingly being unaware of it, so I'm guessing you don't come across as well as you think you do.
Re women attracted to ********, those relationships are usually a train wreck waiting to happen.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Re women attracted to ********, those relationships are a usually a train wreck waiting to happen.

They aren't usually ******** in the beginning....Don't be too quick to make assumptions concerning that area.

 

[Xpendable]

Sometimes they are just waiting.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Sometimes they are just waiting.

And sometimes, people just change.

 

[SofiasMami]

I know I can be a arse on here but in the real world I try to be nice, polite, caring and kind to everybody I meet. And yeah women seem to like me, but they don't want to go out with me. And I guess that's because I'm not attractive, sexy, cool etc. Which then goes back to how I look.

I think you're being too hard on yourself, TB. It's not uncommon to have some relationship baggage once you're in our age demographic (over 40). That can be a big barrier to starting a new relationship even for people who are attractive, sexy, etc. A lot of men I've met who are over 40 have had some kind of issue with an ex - like just out of a relationship or their ex was the one who ended it and they have hope they will get their ex-wife back again.
You alluded to luck being a factor and I think that is a huge factor.
I've been unlucky with romantic love but, it's ok, I have other fulfilling things in my life.

-Teresa

 

[Xpendable]

And sometimes, people just change.

That's observable and avoidable.

---

I know I can be a arse on here but in the real world I try to be nice, polite, caring and kind to everybody I meet. And yeah women seem to like me, but they don't want to go out with me. And I guess that's because I'm not attractive, sexy, cool etc. Which then goes back to how I look.

I notice the same. I've never argue so much in my life until I joined this forum.

 

[TheRealCallie]

And sometimes, people just change.

That's observable and avoidable.

Really? Ever been in the situation? Not that easy.

 

[Xpendable]

Really? Ever been in the situation? Not that easy.

I lost all my friends growing up for this. As soon puberty kicked in I could see how they started going down hill. They started drinking and smoking. I said "ok, not big deal", but little by little they behavior became worst. Too much "tough guy" attitude, harder and harder drugs, cheating on their partners, inability to treat others with respect, etc. I was out in matter of months. There were no hard feelings anyway, but the transformation was pretty clear. If it were for romantic relationships, I would be out in weeks. One just knows.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Really? Ever been in the situation? Not that easy.

I lost all my friends growing up for this. As soon puberty kicked in I could see how they started going down hill. They started drinking and smoking. I said "ok, not big deal", but little by little they behavior became worst. Too much "tough guy" attitude, harder and harder drugs, cheating on their partners, inability to treat others with respect, etc. I was out in matter of months. There were no hard feelings anyway, but the transformation was pretty clear. If it were for romantic relationships, I would be out in weeks. One just knows.

With friends it's different, because they don't hide things like that from you. Once you're invested in a relationship, once you are married and have kids, once they have slowly beat you down until you felt as you are nothing and it's done so subtly that you don't even realize until it's too late.....
No, with those relationships, it's a bit different.

 

[Xpendable]

With friends it's different, because they don't hide things like that from you.

Everyone hide things.

Once you're invested in a relationship, once you are married and have kids, once they have slowly beat you down until you felt as you are nothing and it's done so subtly that you don't even realize until it's too late.....

I would realize. I'm not afraid of losing them.

No, with those relationships, it's a bit different.

I'll say is easier because there's a lot more intimacy. You spend more time with that person that with any friend. The cracks start showing right away. The problem is when you get so attached to a person you start to justify their flaws. Is a matter of having a cold mind.

 

[TheRealCallie]

With friends it's different, because they don't hide things like that from you.

Everyone hide things.

Once you're invested in a relationship, once you are married and have kids, once they have slowly beat you down until you felt as you are nothing and it's done so subtly that you don't even realize until it's too late.....

I would realize. I'm not afraid of losing them.

No, with those relationships, it's a bit different.

I'll say is easier because there's a lot more intimacy. You spend more time with that person that with any friend. The cracks start showing right away. The problem is when you get so attached to a person you start to justify their flaws. Is a matter of having a cold mind.

It's easy to say that. Hell, I used to say that. But you can't know how you would react if you ever found yourself in the situation.
All I'm saying is to not be so quick to judge situations like that.

 

[Despicable Me]

Sometimes they are just waiting.

And sometimes, people just change.

And sometimes people don't change at all, despite many tries.

I actually have to agree with Callie here, for the most part.
Sometimes people do change, and it's not so easy to know they are changing. Other times they don't change at all, but everyone, often including themselves, have expected them to. The issues that result from such a situation is, perhaps, a change, but internally it is merely their real personality coming about after months or even years of repression. Sometimes these things can be all too convincing either way.

Maybe Callie doesn't explain it in a manner satisfactory to everyone, but I think the gist of it all is simply that in life there are many unexpected things. People who believe they will be able to expect everything are merely people who have not yet experienced enough about life to know. Of course even preparing for the unexpected leaves us unaware. The problem is still then assuming we can prepare for anything. The truth is that this is an impossibility.