What kept/keeps you from suicide?

[Firefly]

Pretty much what others have said:

Parents - I just couldn't put them through that.

Failure - I couldn't bear my life being worse than it is now by being left with a serious medical condition from a failed suicide attempt.

 

[SullenGirl]

1. Fear of death (the unknown).
2. The possibility of a "bright future"...someday I will find happiness and fulfillment in my life.
3. We're all going to die anyway, what's the rush?


Surprisingly, none of my reasons for not killing myself (when I romanticize the idea of suicide) have anything to do with family or friends, or anyone who might miss me. I don't know why, but I just don't even think about that.

 

[Fragile]

Fear I think. I do have a "plan" though, but it's been put on hold. Feel kind of sick to my stomach when I think about it from time to time.

Then again, living in this bs world all by myself seems far worse.

 

[lonelyfairy]

my family, fear, depression medicines and that im begin to believe that everything will go better.

 

[break-my-heart]

simply put, i am a chicken honeysuckle

 

[sevenacids]

Maybe this is not fitting entirely in this thread...

Well, I'm not suicidal (anymore) - but I ain't keen on living either.

I don't really care about what is going to happen. Really. I mean, I might just leave the house to get a bottle of coke, a car runs over me, and I die. And that's it. Would I be sad about it (assuming it's possible to have such a feeling after you died and have the ability to "look back")? No.

I lived the moments I wanted to live. I might have not been to all the places I'd like to see, but that's not such an important thing. Now, my whole life feels like the encore of the main line-up of the show - every new day, every new moment (good or bad) is a present, song after song until the definite end.

The point is that it sometimes makes me act quite suicidal in some cases. I mean, I used to rush down the hills with my racing bike at a speed around 90 kph (55 mph), without a helmet, just for an example. I mean, only the breaks need to fail, or a little rock is puncturing a tire in an uncontrollable way... and recently, I plan to go on a trip hiking through the Icelandic highlands, without food (water is easy to find) and minimal equipment, for about 400km through a periglacial desert, no one around for hundreds of kilometers... basically, I live each day like it's the last. And sometimes I like to take risks every "normal" person would consider crazy.

To come back to the question: Life. Life is keeping me from (passive) suicide. Until I might risk too much in living it.

 

[Weakness-]

The only reason I didn't try to kill myself at first was because I was afraid of death. However, in college, I got so depressed I almost committed suicide. Before I actually did it, I got a message from my best friend, telling me that he'd be devastated if I left him. Ever since then, I decided to try to keep the thoughts and urges away. I don't want to put him through that kind of pain.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well one method is not having a gun handy... However, having a garage is making that work less.

Otherwise, I tell myself I have spent too much money on changing myself to quit now. I need to live at least one year for ever $1000 I spent... I know I have at least 5 years to keep living probably more 0.0 now I have a math quest.

 

[yesm]

Only thing stopping me I guess is I'm not ready yet. I'm waiting for something, I'm not sure what it is, and i'm almost 100% sure I will never find it, but i'm still waiting anyway.

I think I'm still afraid to die... plain and simple. No more sun rises/sun sets... no more stars... no more thoughts... nothing...

The pain involved scares me, but once your dead you won't remember the pain, so it won't really matter.

Plus there are painless ways to go if you can find the necessary tools.

I figure I've got about 5 years of waiting and trying my best to move forward in life. I'll know by then...

I guess if my life was a hold-em poker hand right now it would be a 2-7... and funny thing is I always enjoyed playing a shitty 2-7 from time to time... only problem I see is that... the hand will probably not play out well... my 5 years will be gone... and i'll die wishing i had gotten more out of life...

 

[annexe]

Knowing how harrowing it would be if a member of my family was the first to discover my body. Plus, I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for a faint ember of hope that things will improve.

 

[lonelyfairy]

my family, fear, depression medicines and that im begin to believe that everything will go better.

I think my mind has changed. Only my family. I figured a lot of things and death is not what I'm afraid, but to living...

 

[IgnoredOne]

I remember then and still do feel that I want my death to be meaningful. I would like both my life and death to be meaningful now.

 

[Ahelpinghand]

I think most people don't commit suicide because they don't actually want to die, the suicidal are the desperate. All they really want is somebody to come along and sort their problems for them. I know, i have been there and now think suicide isn't something you think about or consider, it is something you either do or don't do. Killing yourself is easy really, if you want to die, you kill yourself, simple as that.

The first time i considered suicide i found myself thinking that the very fact i was considering it and not doing it meant something, i didn't actually want to die. Suicide is the easy way out, the selfish way out.

 

[sentiententity]

my kids.

 

[Luna]

Guilt for my family.

If I committed suicide my life insurance won't pay out as it's somewhat new; one family member would go into debt and lose her house; the others would have to suffer as well my because of my shameful death.

Instead of suicide, terminal illness etc, I'd love to be accidently shot in the head or something.
That way, they'll think of me as a victim as opposed to an ass that decided to burden them with my death.

Like I said...I've always wanted to go out with a bang.

 

[iSurf]

Time. Just the fact that I'm still a bit young, so I have the smallest chance of hope to have some meaningful things happen in my life. But of course I'm making sure not to expect anything or to have false hopes, given that nothing has ever worked out in my life I'm conditioned not to expect anything.

I don't care what people say about this whole idea of it being selfish, I think its selfish that everyone else looks down on me from the outside and they want to place judgement on me...? Also I never made a single friend in my life and I've become completely distant from my family, so I have no one anyway. Its not like if I were to drop down dead of a natural death that anyone would notice, because that's my reality, I have nothing.

There's not one thing or person that I'm afraid of leaving in this world. I've basically told myself to wait and see how these next 4 or 5 years play out. Maybe, just maybe I'll amount to something useful or I'll have someone/something that needs me. Its honestly empowering to know you can take your own life at any moment.

 

[flylikeplanes]

Because there are people who are sick and dying, who would kill to be in my healthy shoes right now. There are so many people, children and adults who are sick, or have some sort of debilitating condition who would do just about anything to be in my shoes right now-in the shoes of a healthy, perfectly capable being. Its not their fault that they are sick and will eventually die from an illness or a condition that they didn't choose or want to have. They are smart enough to value life more than a lot of pathetic adults in this society do. Life is a gift and we are lucky enough to have it. You were born for a reason whether you like it or not. Suicide is a pathetic way out. Flame me all you want, I don't give a crap what anyone has to say about it. That's my opinion on suicide.

 

[iSurf]

They are smart enough to value life more than a lot of pathetic adults in this society do. Life is a gift and we are lucky enough to have it. You were born for a reason whether you like it or not. Suicide is a pathetic way out. Flame me all you want, I don't give a crap what anyone has to say about it. That's my opinion on suicide.

There are plenty of pathetic kids as well, according that reasoning, since many young people commit suicide. I don't think those kids or adults are pathetic, especially when a lot of them do it from being bullied or are treated indifferently from their peers.

 

[aspeckofdust]

My parents. I imagine that if they weren't around and I didn't care about placing the burden of dealing with my death on them, I would've killed myself years ago. They're all I really have left in my life to care about. I feel like in my mind, I've already pulled the trigger and now it's just a matter of waiting for the right time to actually do it.

 

[Reggie Jected]

I'm afraid that I may be wrong and there really is an afterlife. If I could get proof that there only lies oblivion, I'd be gone before the sun came up.