What men vs what women want

[ladyforsaken]

*hugs* Eve and Muse.

Sighs.

 

[RB46]

How were those tacos?

 

[Limlim]

******* delicious!

 

[frey12]

Oh single mother stories!
My dad died of cancer two years after my mother married him. I was 2 years old!

 

[ladyforsaken]

frey *hugs*

 

[perfanoff]

Do you still have the check "does not have children from another daddy" raab?

That is (and has always been) one of those second tier things - if everything else is together, I'm willing to date a single mother.

It's pretty much been the only concrete deal-breaker for me aside of drug usage. Wouldn't you feel abused/humiliated in that kind of scenario? ...I don't understand.

Why the HELL would someone feel abused and humiliated for dating a woman who had a child???

Simple, would have to care for some scumbag guy's child down the line. Not everyone has it in them to adopt children.

 

[Peaches]

poor scumbag guy's children, maybe some of them are awesome people

 

[perfanoff]

They probably are, but are not my children.

 

[painter's radio]

I have no issues dating a single mother. It would be more difficult if it was a baby, but anything over... I don't know, 2-4 years old? Would be fine with me. Personally I think it would be great if she didn't want anymore kids, too. If she's already experienced it once in her lifetime and it's not something she needs to do again, then yay! Because I don't want kids of my own, nor do I understand the incessant need to breed. I mean, I like practicing making babies! But not actually having them. I don't want to pass on my shitty genes to another soul... poor ****** wouldn't stand a chance. I'd much rather adpot, or be a dad to someone else's kid, giving someone a chance at happiness and a stable life that otherwise wouldn't have it, without actually bringing yet another **** human onto this already over-crowded planet.

 

[Edward W]

Been reading with interest, just for the record my daughter is adopted and I could not love her more, to me being a father is not knocking a girl up, it's how you care for, love and raise a child.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

This is why there are so many kids in foster care. Really, really sad.

 

[LonelyLola]

I feel really bad for anyone that would rule out a relationship just because the other person already has kids. Intesesting that no one seems to be complaining about dating single dads, just a closed minded, un-substantiated idea that single mothers are somehow damaged and that caring for someone else's kids makes you a chump.

However, altho we should expect it to be judged for things like sexual choices, behaviours, whether we are rich or poor or have kids or not, we can't expect people to change what they are attracted to. I hope that I am not judged for say, liking sex. It doesn't make me a bad person. But my freedom about sex might turn people off. They shouldn't think me less of a person, just not romance material for them.

 

[Regumika]

Some good talks.. and some... hasty responses.

Not to disregard the topics discussed, but it did went a bit off topic. I want to keep this discussion going, so let's keep on going with the current topic.

Single Mother vs Single Father

I don't know the statistic of SM vs SF. but obviously SM's are more often spoken about. When people mention 'single parent' most of us automatically turn to 'single mother'.

there has been some talk about what a single mother 'want' (and obviously a stereotype and in no way represent the entire population. again, i am not considering exceptions.) such as a role-model for the kids. or perhaps be the head of the household with income etc etc.. whether true or not. what about what a SF want?

lets discuss.

---

I feel really bad for anyone that would rule out a relationship just because the other person already has kids. Intesesting that no one seems to be complaining about dating single dads, just a closed minded, un-substantiated idea that single mothers are somehow damaged and that caring for someone else's kids makes you a chump.

However, altho we should expect it to be judged for things like sexual choices, behaviours, whether we are rich or poor or have kids or not, we can't expect people to change what they are attracted to. I hope that I am not judged for say, liking sex. It doesn't make me a bad person. But my freedom about sex might turn people off. They shouldn't think me less of a person, just not romance material for them.

i like this thought process. what if we were to think of single parent as a 'personlity' or a 'checklist' to personal yes/no, must have/cant have for our significant other. So, let's say I CANNOT be in a relationship with a girl who cant cook, which doesn't label them as good or bad. The same can be said that I CANNOT be in a relationship with a single mother, right?

 

[perfanoff]

Boy, did this thread go hostile so fast.

I guess in this world it's wrong to want to make and raise your biological children. Sex is strictly for pleasure now.

 

[LonelyLola]

Perf, no one said out was wrong to want your own kids, in fact, I am saying it is fine not to want to date someone with kids because you want to spend all your energy on your own... Just no need to think of them as broken or less than, which is the feeling I started to get from many posts in this thread.

 

[perfanoff]

Yeah you caught on that well. Hm. Sometimes the shadow of the past gives a good chase.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

They just have trouble understanding why someone wouldn't want to raise someone else's kids.

I am not faulting Eve, or anyone else, for feeling that way. But they have to see things from our point of view as well.

 

[EveWasFramed]

But they have to see things from our point of view as well.

No I don't and here's why: I don't expect anyone but ME to raise my child. I had her and she is my responsibility. Since her dad only sees her once a year and not on a daily basis, her care falls to me and me only. I wouldnt expect someone I'm dating to play dad to my child.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ And that is why you and I should not date.

 

[Limlim]

^ And that is why you and I should not date.

Yes *that* is why you shouldn't date. Not because... you were both at each others throats recently.