Why do men only like women that are...

[packyourbags]

Oh and here's a shocker: Women can like sex too.

A lot.

Haha I never said that women don't like or want sex.

I'm not trying to make any sweeping generalizations, everyone.

It's just my opinion, based on personal observation and experience, that for some reason sex is a huge part of a man's drive in life...and that many men would go pretty far to get sex because they are so driven by it...including taking advantage of nice girls who fall for the tactics that those douchebags usually use.

What bugs me is that sometimes the moves or actions that ********* guys use are SOOOOOO obvious to me....it makes me wonder why some woman can't see it. I guess nice girls are flattered by the sort of things these guys do, but to me it just seems so bleedingly cheesy and smarmy and obvious. *shrug* Like cheesy one-liners and such. Come on...how can that honeysuckle actually WORK?

What I'm saying is that usually it's not hard for me to determine a guy's motives when he hits on a girl. Maybe it's in the minutae, but for some reason (and I think other guys might be with me on this) I can generally tell if a guy is fishing for sex or being sincere. Like I've said before, it seems obvious to me...but...*shrug* heh I dunno.

----Steve

yeah seriously, i agree with Steve 100%. it's sooo weird that things like that can be pulled off at all.

and sanal is right too. kinda eh.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

This really is an interesting thread.

I've talked to a lot of people - men and women alike - and gotten conflicting advice not only based on gender, but conflicting advice from people of the SAME gender sometimes from the same person.

First, I've had both men and women tell me that it is ridiculous that Americans are so Puritanical about sex, and I totally agree. I can be as "liberated" as I like, but still society will judge me based on my sexual actions. Ultimately, it's up to me to decide if I want to put up with it and do my own thing or cave and conform to sexual social mores.

Ok, but now the gripe:
Let's assume that we're working within the sexist double standard I referenced earlier. Ok, I'm 41, right? I don't feel like putting up with the same dating insecurities bullshit as I did 20 years ago. I've been on the other side so to speak. However, it's even worse now.

A male friend of mine mentioned the Holy Grail of the 3rd date, and I was clueless, "What's with the 3rd date?" I asked him.

Oh, well, according to him (and a few other guys I subsequently asked), "That's the time frame for sex to occur when you're dating a girl that you want to date." As opposed to a girl you just want to bang- he was clear about that.

"No honeysuckle?" I said, stunned, because I never got THAT memo.

He went on, "Yeah, I know after the first date if I like a girl or not, and basically I'm willing to wait until the 3rd date before getting any."

Ok, so this is a scenario where the guy actually "Like"- likes a girl... and he's imposing conditions on it? That ain't "like"- like, friends. That is opportunistically going after just the sex.

"So," I asked him, "If after the 3rd date and no sex, do you still hang in there with it? I mean, after all, you LIKE this girl, right?"

Him: "I don't know. I always ended up getting laid by the 3rd date, but probably not. If she really held out on me? No, I'd dump her."


What the fresia? Honestly, if you really LIKE her, it shouldn't matter if it's the 3rd, the 1st or the 10th date before you get down to the sex aspect of it.


OK so there's THAT joker giving me advice and a few other male friends who say never never never never until you've known each other a few months. "Guys," they say, "will automatically lose respect for you once you give it up."

And THAT is the gem of the sexist double standard. Really, who the hell is ANYONE out there to say that I am less worthy of respect if I engage in sex? That's a private matter.

So really, women are pretty much screwed either way you look at it: Give it up by a certain date or lose the "nice guy" who likes you, or give it up too soon and be labeled a whore.

If I thought it would be easier to be a lesbian I might consider it.

 

[abandonedwolf]

listen not all guys are like that. I hate strippers so much. I like girls with good personality's not because they are hot.

 

[Badjedidude]

What the fresia? Honestly, if you really LIKE her, it shouldn't matter if it's the 3rd, the 1st or the 10th date before you get down to the sex aspect of it.

I couldn't agree more. That 3rd date crap is the kind of stuff that dumb guys get from Maxim or Men's Health or whatever the hell is read by ******** these days....lol no offense to your friend, cheaptrick.

I'd be happy to get a bit of tongue on a third date...or hell, just a kiss. If I'm really into a girl, I'm not going to throw her aside because she doesn't put out after seeing me for a grand total of like 3 times in her entire life. That's ridiculous and fairly arrogant, if you ask me.

----Steve

 

[SophiaGrace]

So,when is an appropriate time to "give it up" so guys wont lose "respect" for you? :/

 

[cheaptrickfan]

What the fresia? Honestly, if you really LIKE her, it shouldn't matter if it's the 3rd, the 1st or the 10th date before you get down to the sex aspect of it.

I couldn't agree more. That 3rd date crap is the kind of stuff that dumb guys get from Maxim or Men's Health or whatever the hell is read by ******** these days....lol no offense to your friend, cheaptrick.

Oh, I wanted to flick him on the forehead for his observations. *sigh*

I half-wondered if the guy I was dating at the time had emailed him to get him to nudge me or something.

 

[Badjedidude]

So,when is an appropriate time to "give it up" so guys wont lose respect for you? :/

Whenever you're ready. If the guy really cares about you, he'll wait. Just be open and tell him you're not ready yet and make it clear you won't let him push you.

Guys can wait, btw. It takes masturbation and a lot of punching walls, but they can. XD

I half-wondered if the guy I was dating at the time had emailed him to get him to nudge me or something.

Haha you should have confessed to some sort of weird, awkward fetish...and then see if it got back to the guy you were dating. XD

----Steve

 

[SophiaGrace]

So,when is an appropriate time to "give it up" so guys wont lose respect for you? :/

Whenever you're ready. If the guy really cares about you, he'll wait. Just be open and tell him you're not ready yet and make it clear you won't let him push you.

But what about the friendzone & being considered frigid? o_o

 

[cheaptrickfan]

So,when is an appropriate time to "give it up" so guys wont lose respect for you? :/

That is the million-dollar question, apparently.

I would think that it depends on the couple. The dynamic of their relationship is going to be different from any other relationship out there. I never go into a dating scenario with a set schedule in my head, but apparently there are some guys who do. I find it a little insulting, actually, that the same guy I went on a coffee date with is setting up a short term time-frame for sex that is going to affect my value as a girlfriend.

Dude, if you like me, you like me. Don't make it more complicated.
If I like YOU, I'm not going to have you by the blue balls for 5 years until you decide to put a ring on my finger. Perhaps I'd like a little assurance that you're not just going to screw me and run after that Holy Grail of a 3rd date.

Maybe they are so befuddled by women's alleged complexity that they feel that they have to make it easy on themselves by saying, "Oh if we haven't had sex by the __th date, she's not into me."

Who the hell knows.

 

[Badjedidude]

But what about the friendzone & being considered frigid? o_o

Tough cookies, that's all. If he's the right guy for you, then he won't automatically assume that you're frigid just because you respect your body.

----Steve

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Haha you should have confessed to some sort of weird, awkward fetish...and then see if it got back to the guy you were dating. XD

Now that would have been hilarious.

lol

 

[dreamer8]

This is true. I don't get why it happens to me. I think I'm more in tune to what's going on when it's happening though.
I can spot jerks from a mile away,but I still fall prey.
I see it happen to other girls too.

 

[Steel]

So,when is an appropriate time to "give it up" so guys wont lose "respect" for you? :/

For me, the idea that there is some rule is ridiculous. First date... tenth date.. what's the real difference? I view myself as a "well, I'm ready from the first date, when suits you?" kind of person, but that's me; I don't expect everyon to think in the same terms as I do.

I've never thought any less of someone for not having/having to wait.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

A male friend of mine mentioned the Holy Grail of the 3rd date, and I was clueless, "What's with the 3rd date?" I asked him.

Will Duh.....
Even I'm smart enough to know not to mention sex or bring up
a conversation like that when I'm on a date or dating someone

I know I talk about sex alot on here...but I not on a date with
any of you.

I've had sex on the first date or first encounter or after 5-6 dates.
It depends on the woman.

I had never actaully formally ask a woman to be my GF or if I can kiss
her...It just happens or it's a natrual procress.
I had nevered had to ask for sex for any women I've dated or had sex with...I'm not that stupid.lol
We might talk about it from time to time as a conversation after we're in a relationship already.
It pretty much gose like this..." you are so..so hawt, I can eat you all over"

To me ..if you ask, it ruin the moment. It takes all the romance out
of it. I mean if she's already making out with me...I let my body
or hands do the ask'in

If we havn't have anybody contacts...I can tell. Her body talks to
me in more ways than one. The tone of her vioce. Her general attitude.

 

[lonelycollegeguy00]

Yes Sophia is right.......sex is a want! I am a guy and yes, of coarse I want sex but I am not going to throw a fit because I don't get it.

Either way anyone wants to think about it, this is the truth!

Wants and Needs are two different things. Here are the examples!

Do you NEED sex?.........NO!!
Do you want sex?........YES!!

Do you NEEDfood and water?.......YES!!
Do you want food and water?................MAYBE!!

That's all there is too it. So think about it when you say you need something. You diffently don't need sex to survive!!!

---

Here is my my thoughts on the rest of the subject.

I am a nice guy and yes these days I know it doesnt get us "nice" guys very far with the ladies. But as far as I am concerned I will not change to being a complete jerk or ******* just to get it. I would rather be a nice guy with very few girls or friends then be a complete jerk that always deals with drama.

I would kill to have a really nice, sweet, loving girl not looking for a jerk and wants to be treated right!!

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

by the way,

tiger woods makes me sick. i can't even stand to look at him now. all i see is the way he hurt his wife and family. so not all guys were high-fiving.

 

[Badjedidude]

You diffently don't need sex to survive!!!

Speak for yourself, sir.

Heh every guy has a different sex drive...some guys are OK with having sex maybe twelve times a year, other guys have to have it considerably more often...so maybe it just depends on the person. I still think guys need it, though. And what's wrong widdat?

----Steve

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

maybe not need sex to survive.

but need to thrive.

there is a difference between surviving and thriving.

if we don't thrive, our species won't survive.

plain and simple. reproduction is a necessity, as is the act that causes it.

 

[h i]

:O girl vent. nice!

i wanted a serious relationship since 16. late bloomer i guess, matured early though. girls just werent into me like that for anything serious. i spent 6 months with a girl and her 'head aches' and 'theories' and all i got out of it was 'head aches' and 'theories' of my own... didnt even get laid... guys around me not even knowing girls, getting laid, and i didnt. worst now is most of the people ill meet have had sex and dont consider it a big deal. when its still a big deal to me. im suppose to accept and raise another mans child, or accept seconds... or thirds... or fourths... etc. i wont accept a non virgin, if shell have more experience with another man, but wont share that with me. she can go back to him, if she needs something. i have no problems with virgins, and can wait it out. but if im not getting something pure, then i expect... cause its obviously not a big deal.

i dont know how it is for teens, but 20+ is what im talking about.

---

i dont need sex to survive, or thrive, whatever... its just skin on skin. same thing as your hand. eww. but im not going to do more, for less, knowing others have done less, for more. girls who put out, normally have too, continue putting out. id hope they would be in a comfortable relationship before doing so though. no first date stuff... trashy. but no, waiting until marriage crap...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yes Sophia is right.......sex is a want! I am a guy and yes, of coarse I want sex but I am not going to throw a fit because I don't get it.

Either way anyone wants to think about it, this is the truth!

Wants and Needs are two different things. Here are the examples!

Do you NEED sex?.........NO!!
Do you want sex?........YES!!

Do you NEEDfood and water?.......YES!!
Do you want food and water?................MAYBE!!

That's all there is too it. So think about it when you say you need something. You diffently don't need sex to survive!!!

---

Here is my my thoughts on the rest of the subject.

I am a nice guy and yes these days I know it doesnt get us "nice" guys very far with the ladies. But as far as I am concerned I will not change to being a complete jerk or ******* just to get it. I would rather be a nice guy with very few girls or friends then be a complete jerk that always deals with drama.

I would kill to have a really nice, sweet, loving girl not looking for a jerk and wants to be treated right!!

---

errr...my body needs sex just as much as it needs air and food to live
a healthy life.
Of course Cilvilizations would have you belive that you don't need it.
Population CONTROL, Power CONTROL, disease CONTROL.

Obviousely your parents wanted to had sometype of control over you life.
When it comes to sex..it's a no brainer that they wouldn't want you to have sex until you're a responsible aduilt
that can stand on your own two feet. To be able to take care of yourself and if you get a girl..pregnant that you would
be able to take care of her and the child...Of corse..be a virgin until that time comes...perhaps through fear, guilt or shame.
Or that might say..girl that have sex are sluttly whores. Your friend was riased the sameway. They agree with you. You accept it as normal.
Never the less it's still a control issue.
However if you're a young adult and havn't had sex. You'll still retain some of that programming. It might be subtle or it might not that you're afriad to touch a woman or have sex with her.

But here's the thing...You had to have training wheels when you first learned how to ride a bicycle...You sure as hell didn't know how to pop a wheelie your first time out.
Your parents eurge you on..They encourage you to get up and try and try again becuase it's through failing that you learned how to ride you bike...you practice ..practice
until the day came when you were able ride your bike without a training wheel..then you progressed to popin wheelies...And you sure as hell didn't feel guilty about it.
You are afraid of eating honeysuckle or crashing...however your parents supported you and help you get over your fears..

SEX is not any differnt. You learn as you go.
Relartionship is not any different...you learn as you go. You learn through making mistakes.
Life is the same....

Will...fresia, how come it's okay for women to say...sometimes she has to kiss a bounch of frogs before she finds a prince...(sugar coating girly stuff)
Oki Doki...but it's not okay for a guy to fresia a bounch of slutty whores before he finds Mrs. right. (caveman talk ) He belongs in the Duche baggies section...Errr wtf???

You should have self CONTROL..if not, then there's something wrong with ya or you'll get burn with brimstone in a lake of fire in hell(GUILT & SHAME).
Holy fresia...I saw a lot of visions too when i was messed up out of my fucken mind. If you strave yourself for 3-4 days..you'll start seeing honeysuckle too.
If you surpress your natrual sexaul drive...you'll get depressed as messed too. When you're depressed you're not thinking too clearly.
PURE spiritaul being don't need sex. fresia me with a screw driver...I'm too pure and too good for this life. WTF???
Err..did you know that Budhad suffered from a disease in the last years of his life???

Man can't live on bread alone. Wonder who gave that advice???
Living and surving are two different things...That's like eating a fucken cake without the frosting or eating food without flavor.

Treat a woman right by having sex with her without making her feel
like she's an object, guilty, dirty or something TO HAVE....
Share your sexaul experince with her. Share your love with her. Share your life with her.

Yes...yes tell her what she wants to hear...that you're going to
make love to her..You're still going to have sex with her no matter
how you say it or go about it.

ok..the prince charming Mr. Nice guy role playing stratagy...how's that working out for ya?
The world is a stage...Err!!! So ACT RIGHT