To say honestly, i don't exactly know why i'm lonely and even if i'm not lonely, it sure feela a lot like loneliness. I'm not abused in my family, i'm not poor and at a first look in my life you'll think everything is okay...but it's like having everything you don't need. I'm not missing anything but i don't feel happy at all and i can remember the last time i smiled being really happy, i just smile to make people think i'm okay, but i think people see i'm not okay, recently they started asking me what happend , why i'm different; i used to hate being alone, i mean with no people around me, but now i enjoy being alone, to sit alone at my table, to sit alone in a room, just to be able to scream my anger out, but i stil hate being lonely, inside, with nobody knowing what i think, how i feel...it's not that i don't what to talk, i've tried so many times so say to other people how i feel, but NOBODY listened to me, nobody understood me...maybe i just didn't know how to tell them what i feeel, now i find myself crying with no apparent reason, sometimes just looking at something usual and starting thinking, that my life goes on but i just don't know what to do with it, the irony is, that i want to do so many things, i want to be succesful, i want to be remembered, maybe because i'm lonely i feel the need to make myself noticed...right now i'm really confused and i don't know what i'm talking...if you asked me about something from my books of school, i could tell you everything, if you asked me for an advice i could tell you a good one (i think), but don't ask me about myself because i can't answer you i'm confused and SOtiered of thinking and tierd of this whole situation...i have NOBODY to help me, not a single friend.... and nobody from my family because, i don't know why, but recently, not my mother, my father or my sister believe me, no matter what i say, they just don't believe me and they don't even listen to me...i guess they have their own problems and they don't have time for me...i didn't say you all the reasons why i'm lonely, i just told you what i feel right now...but i know for sure i didn't tell you at least half of the reasons why i'm lonely...now i'm just too tierd and confused emotionly, to think about the rest of the reasons...thank you for listening to me...and i hope it wasn't to boring...
a kiss and a big smile!