Struggling to approach women?

[TheRealCallie]

I don't think I've shaken my head in my entire life as I have in this thread.....

 

[randomguy]

Here's the secret, it's simple .A cheeky grin and a cucumber down the front of your jeans. You can have that for free.

 

[ardour]

The men who "can't" attract women are actually scared of success not of failure

So you're saying everyone is sufficiently attractive they somehow sabotage their chances because they're "scared"? (Of what... intimacy? Fear of having vulnerabilities exposed?)

For my ego's sake I wish that were the case, but some people either aren't attractive enough or too broken, and what discourages them is having that confirmed.

 

[ardour]

We were in the advantage from 200,000 years ago until the mid 1960s.
No wonder the West is now falling.
Society only works when men are forced to be better in order to attract women.
When women chase after the thugs and jerks, the "shiny objects" so to speak, men have no incentive to be better.
And society collapses.

It's a mistake to think being a "thug" or a jerk means being on low pay or unemployed. Plenty of those guys do well in the corporate world. Psychopaths love to ladder climb. And since they have money and status they're more or less the complete package.

An awkward guy in a mid tier IT role can't compete with that.

 

[Unsigned]

It's a mistake to think being a "thug" or a jerk means being on low pay or unemployed. Plenty of those guys do well in the corporate world. Psychopaths love to ladder climb. And since they have money and status they're more or less the complete package.

An awkward guy in a mid tier IT role can't compete with that.

Very true.
I've been working with Wall St firms since 1987.
Lots of Bond Traders were fratboys & sportsball player in college.
And I've heard plenty of r@pe stories about them over the years.
So yeah...thugs come in all races & classes...

 

[okidoke]

Here's the secret, it's simple .A cheeky grin and a cucumber down the front of your jeans. You can have that for free.

Lol funnily enough, a friend told me he just recently watched a doco on men with large cucumbers and the issues they faced every day and the rejection they faced by many women due to it.

 

[Cherubino]

So you're saying everyone is sufficiently attractive they somehow sabotage their chances because they're "scared"? (Of what... intimacy? Fear of having vulnerabilities exposed?)

For my ego's sake I wish that were the case, but some people either aren't attractive enough or too broken, and what discourages them is having that confirmed.

I think that if I'm honest to myself I admit that if I can't attract someone it's first of all because I don't properly love her which is because the subconscious (soul) knows better than the mind if it's genuine love ... love for someone else presupposes a sound self knowledge and a healthy self love ... once acquired those will orient people toward achievable goals and genuine matches and also cut the torment of longing for unachievable goals EDIT: so unachievable doesn't mean at all superior but unrealistic and unsustainable

 

[Unsigned]

I think that if I'm honest to myself I admit that if I can't attract someone it's first of all because I don't properly love her which is because the subconscious (soul) knows better than the mind if it's genuine love ... love for someone else presupposes a sound self knowledge and a healthy self love ... once acquired those will orient people toward achievable goals and genuine matches and also cut the torment of longing for unachievable goals

Nah.
You're overthinking it.
You gotta ether be a face man like Brady & Pitt...or a murderous thug like OJ. Simple.

 

[Cherubino]

nah you're under thinking it ... it's not in terms of superior vs. inferior ... it's plenty of for everybody

 

[Unsigned]

nah you're under thinking it ... it's not in terms of superior vs. inferior ... it's plenty of for everybody

Sure...if you are willing to accept the 6/10s & under...

 

[TheRealCallie]

It is extremely offensive to keep referring to women as that. How is that even allowed. We can't say the D word, but that kind of talk is okay?

 

[Cherubino]

is that pipes diameter ... cause love fills the gaps ... never mind

 

[Cherubino]

It is extremely offensive to keep referring to women as that. How is that even allowed. We can't say the D word, but that kind of talk is okay?

I would love to see you women talking about D

 

[Unsigned]

It is extremely offensive to keep referring to women as that. How is that even allowed. We can't say the D word, but that kind of talk is okay?

Do you man the cat icon?
Or the point system?
Honestly, I can see where the cat icon may be offensive...but not even 1/100th as offensive of being judged by females as a man who worked hard all his life to be a good provider being judged as "boring" and treated as invisible by attractive women...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Do you man the cat icon?
Or the point system?
Honestly, I can see where the cat icon may be offensive...but not even 1/100th as offensive of being judged by females as a man who worked hard all his life to be a good provider being judged as "boring" and treated as invisible by attractive women...

The cat.

 

[Cherubino]

actually the kitty is a very delicate and soft placeholder

 

[okidoke]

I think that if I'm honest to myself I admit that if I can't attract someone it's first of all because I don't properly love her …

Um, if you’re loving someone before you’ve attracted them, then you’re a stalker, probably. Sure you can love someone’s beliefs and their work and their looks, but you can’t genuinely love someone’s inner self before you get to know them. Love is something you build between you, but you attract them first. If you’re falling in love with women before you actually meet them, you have some s**** to sort out. Maybe that’s why you’re not attracting them, because they can sense that love in you already.

 

[ardour]

Um, if you’re loving someone before you’ve attracted them, then you’re a stalker, probably. Sure you can love someone’s beliefs and their work and their looks, but you can’t genuinely love someone’s inner self before you get to know them. Love is something you build between you, but you attract them first. If you’re falling in love with women before you actually meet them, you have some s**** to sort out. Maybe that’s why you’re not attracting them, because they can sense that love in you already.

He means he' not capable of love since he doesn't love and accept himself first.

 

[okidoke]

He means he' not capable of love in general, since he doesn't love and accept himself first. I disagree with the premise that self-love is a requirement for a healthy relationship, but everyone has their views.

Oh okay. I’m not sure above self-love being a necessity, but self acceptance is definitely a must.

 

[Cherubino]

Um, if you’re loving someone before you’ve attracted them, then you’re a stalker, probably. Sure you can love someone’s beliefs and their work and their looks, but you can’t genuinely love someone’s inner self before you get to know them. Love is something you build between you, but you attract them first. If you’re falling in love with women before you actually meet them, you have some s**** to sort out. Maybe that’s why you’re not attracting them, because they can sense that love in you already.

Love is an umbrella term and has many shades (like falling in love not attraction)... if the game of attraction is played only with the appearance then why one would "struggle" with it ... it is won or lost from the start and all you have to do is to play it within the right league