are some people too broken to have a significant other?

[mintymint]

I do not think people are too broken to have significant others. I think some people are too broken to be good significant others.

Yes, this. "Having a significant other" and "being in a healthy relationship" are not remotely the same thing.

I think that some people may have certain issues - whether psychological, addiction, trust issues, abandonment issues etc - which, unresolved, might make it very difficult for them to enter into or maintain a healthy relationship.

I highly doubt I'll ever be able to at this rate, but we'll see

Never say never, Minty!

Hey, I'm an eternal optimist; that's just my best educated guess

 

[Gutted]

I can feel slightly like this sometimes. I don't value myself very highly. But in some ways, I find that to be a good thing. I don't have a massive ego and thinking of myself the way I do makes me be extra nice to people I like.

Good can come from Bad~

 

[Evil_Genius]

Yes but is it being pleasant at the cost of actually being happy. Nice guys do finish last. Sometimes you need to be a little selfish.

 

[Lilith]

It's hard to get a significant other if you don't have confidence in yourself. Eating well and giving your body nice blood circulation (being physically active) will put you back in your natural place that you are meant to be in! That being said, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Good luck!

 

[Peaches]

What is troubling is the amount of people who are bitter, sexist, racist, and are generally terrible people, and they have no problem getting relationships. It makes me wonder what they have that I don't?

they have lousy taste too

***************
Joined this thread a bit late, the part about being bad in bed stuck with me: it's the 21st century, there are books, videos, cybersex lessons, animatrons, 3D simulations, salsa courses, tango lessons, tantra meditation, biofeedback, there is no excuse for being bad in bed! (I am sure you are not, but this is the point I wanted to make)

 

[VanillaCreme]

To answer the title question, I would say no. I think that anyone can have something to offer to someone who may feel too broken themselves. And that the person who believes they're too broken, can hopefully gain from having someone in their life that cares for them.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

What is troubling is the amount of people who are bitter, sexist, racist, and are generally terrible people, and they have no problem getting relationships. It makes me wonder what they have that I don't?

they have lousy taste too

***************
Joined this thread a bit late, the part about being bad in bed stuck with me: it's the 21st century, there are books, videos, cybersex lessons, animatrons, 3D simulations, salsa courses, tango lessons, tantra meditation, biofeedback, there is no excuse for being bad in bed! (I am sure you are not, but this is the point I wanted to make)

Let me know when they come out with virtual reality simulations.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I just learned that a family that I know of, who are full of low IQ people, hateful people, who abuse animals, abuse children, and generally are redneck hillbillies who have no good people in their family...

- Two new marriages
- 2 wives are pregnant
- One just got divorced, so that he could get with another girl

I feel so despondent. These idiots can get married and breed...why can't I? Do I have to lower my intelligence so that I can get in a relationship?

Please let me understand why mostly rejects of the gene pool are breeding and having multiple babies, and the smart intellectuals are the ones who aren't having relationship success? Not all the time, but most of the time, when I see something about a baby momma of 15 kids, the mother has an IQ lower than dirt.

 

[mintymint]

I just learned that a family that I know of, who are full of low IQ people, hateful people, who abuse animals, abuse children, and generally are redneck hillbillies who have no good people in their family...

- Two new marriages
- 2 wives are pregnant
- One just got divorced, so that he could get with another girl

I feel so despondent. These idiots can get married and breed...why can't I? Do I have to lower my intelligence so that I can get in a relationship?

Please let me understand why mostly rejects of the gene pool are breeding and having multiple babies, and the smart intellectuals are the ones who aren't having relationship success? Not all the time, but most of the time, when I see something about a baby momma of 15 kids, the mother has an IQ lower than dirt.

I think your desire to find correlations between your perception of your own intelligence and other people's intelligence to dating, love, relationships and happiness isn't going to bring you much.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Is it social intelligence or intellectual intelligence?

 

[mintymint]

Is it social intelligence or intellectual intelligence?

You seemed to be talking about IQ/intellectual intelligence, so I was just responding with that in mind.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Well, what did you think of my argument that the stupid people are breeding more?

 

[Moe'sTavern]

Well, what did you think of my argument that the stupid people are breeding more?

I'd rather not live in a world where idiocracy becomes prophecy.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

So you saw that movie?

I know there are a lot of intelligent, good people who are parents out there, but there are a lot of parents who have baby after baby because they don't know how to work birth control.

 

[perfanoff]

Meh. Everyone should have as many children as they want.

Now what bothers me is that I'm paying for some stranger's child right now, while I have none. I mean, seriously?

Might go to China just so I don't have to pay for other people's children.

 

[mintymint]

Well, what did you think of my argument that the stupid people are breeding more?

I don't really know what you mean by stupid. Do you mean a person without a high IQ? I would never call someone stupid for lacking a noticeably high IQ score. Do you mean a person with an average IQ? Well I certainly wouldn't call people with average IQs, who make up most of the population, stupid for that reason. Do you mean a person with a distinctly below average IQ? Because they are quite the minority, just like people with distinctly above average IQs. So why fixate on what such a measly percentage of the population does or does not achieve. IQ tests are clearly not the final authority on one's intelligence, anyway. I have to reiterate that I don't think fixating on this line of thought is helpful at all.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I mean people who have sex without protection, and then claim welfare for their 15 kids while saying they're too busy to go to college or work a job.

 

[mintymint]

I mean people who have sex without protection, and then claim welfare for their 15 kids while saying they're too busy to go to college or work a job.

I would say such issues are generally more endemic to poverty and a lack of education than a straight up lack of intelligence.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Now what bothers me is that I'm paying for some stranger's child right now, while I have none. I mean, seriously?

Oh, I feel you.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I mean people who have sex without protection, and then claim welfare for their 15 kids while saying they're too busy to go to college or work a job.

I would say such issues are generally more endemic to poverty and a lack of education than a straight up lack of intelligence.

This makes sense. I've noticed in areas of the city where there are more crime and less...money...there are more instances of this.

I am really grateful to be middle class in some ways. I'm able to afford what I can and throw some money at college. I know some families have really smart kids who can't go to college, can't afford it, and I wish that some of Bill Gates or Mark Z's money would be thrown towards those kids, so that they can go to school.

I'm not ungrateful for what I have. But, god, when I see parents who not only mistreat their kids, but don't want them, and I would do anything to be a father...well, that makes me kind of angry. As Robin Williams would say, you can go pogosticking on your penis, but I'd rather use my brain.