honeysuckle! I think I found someone!

[TheRealCallie]

Edit: Although on second thought, the women aren't initiating that contact, they are more than likely responding to men who message them and therefore more likely to be in contact with those they consider beneath them attraction wise.

Anyway that doesn't change what they rate as unattractive vs. men, which I still find disturbing.

LOL, that edit is about as trustworthy as that study you posted. Girls are MOST LIKELY doing something, because clearly you know women so well.

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

 

[ardour]

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

They were considered significantly below average by the majority of women who responded. Think about what significantly below average implies, then look at the photos again.

 

[TheRealCallie]

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

They were considered significantly below average by the majority of women who responded. Think about what significantly below average implies, then look at the photos again.

Yeah, it says that. Now, why don't you show me where it says how many people responded to this study and who they are. Oh, it doesn't say that. All it talks about is percentages, not how many people in the study. It says at the beginning where it has the girls pictures that it took talking to over a dozen "beautiful" women to have them get back to them. And who decides whether they are beautiful? This so called study the guy who founded the site did? LOL.

Yeah, give me real evidence because this isn't it.

 

[jd7]

They were considered significantly below average by the majority of women who responded. Think about what significantly below average implies, then look at the photos again.

You won't win this one. But I'm sure you know that. It's probably best to bow out before the piling on.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

I hope it goes well for Hawk !

---

I think a lot more men are considered 'un-dateable' than women. I think it's fair to say that.

It's fair to say and there's evidence for it.

I just think some people have very little chance of finding somebody.
Why ruin your life looking and failing ?
I say find something else to do instead.

At some point, yes, it might be best to acknowledge that therein lies more misery and a very low chance of finding someone. Wouldn't say that to someone in their 20's though.

no, mid 40's something like that.

---

..

2 dots ?

It's half of a cootie shot.

What's one of them ?

---

I think a lot more men are considered 'un-dateable' than women. I think it's fair to say that.

It's fair to say and there's evidence for it.

Okay, let's see it then

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

Women rate 80% of men "below average" in terms of attractiveness.

Cool graph.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

Think this is what we should concentrate on again. Waiting for him with a possible update, though.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

Think this is what we should concentrate on again. Waiting for him with a possible update, though.

I hope it works out for him, I really do. Maybe it will encourage us negative people.

---

Edit: Although on second thought, the women aren't initiating that contact, they are more than likely responding to men who message them and therefore more likely to be in contact with those they consider beneath them attraction wise.

Anyway that doesn't change what they rate as unattractive vs. men, which I still find disturbing.

LOL, that edit is about as trustworthy as that study you posted. Girls are MOST LIKELY doing something, because clearly you know women so well.

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

I think I have better chance in the real world rather than online.
On a dating site a woman will reject me because of my photo (which are usually terrible). Real world I have the chance to say something funny or interesting or make a connection.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

Think this is what we should concentrate on again. Waiting for him with a possible update, though.

I hope it works out for him, I really do. Maybe it will encourage us negative people.

I just hope he finds some happiness in his life wherever that may come from...

---

Edit: Although on second thought, the women aren't initiating that contact, they are more than likely responding to men who message them and therefore more likely to be in contact with those they consider beneath them attraction wise.

Anyway that doesn't change what they rate as unattractive vs. men, which I still find disturbing.

LOL, that edit is about as trustworthy as that study you posted. Girls are MOST LIKELY doing something, because clearly you know women so well.

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

I think I have better chance in the real world rather than online.
On a dating site a woman will reject me because of my photo (which are usually terrible). Real world I have the chance to say something funny or interesting or make a connection.

I have a nice camera. I'd probably take as many candid photos of you as I needed until I got nice ones of you if I could.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

Think this is what we should concentrate on again. Waiting for him with a possible update, though.

I hope it works out for him, I really do. Maybe it will encourage us negative people.

I just hope he finds some happiness in his life wherever that may come from...

---

Edit: Although on second thought, the women aren't initiating that contact, they are more than likely responding to men who message them and therefore more likely to be in contact with those they consider beneath them attraction wise.

Anyway that doesn't change what they rate as unattractive vs. men, which I still find disturbing.

LOL, that edit is about as trustworthy as that study you posted. Girls are MOST LIKELY doing something, because clearly you know women so well.

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

I think I have better chance in the real world rather than online.
On a dating site a woman will reject me because of my photo (which are usually terrible). Real world I have the chance to say something funny or interesting or make a connection.

I have a nice camera. I'd probably take as many candid photos of you as I needed until I got nice ones of you if I could.

---

Candid photo's could work. I feel a bit self conscious when I pose for a photograph. Hence all the daft faces !

 

[SophiaGrace]

Are we going to focus on helping Hawx or are we going to just continue to derail his thread?

Wondering. . .

Think this is what we should concentrate on again. Waiting for him with a possible update, though.

I hope it works out for him, I really do. Maybe it will encourage us negative people.

I just hope he finds some happiness in his life wherever that may come from...

---

Edit: Although on second thought, the women aren't initiating that contact, they are more than likely responding to men who message them and therefore more likely to be in contact with those they consider beneath them attraction wise.

Anyway that doesn't change what they rate as unattractive vs. men, which I still find disturbing.

LOL, that edit is about as trustworthy as that study you posted. Girls are MOST LIKELY doing something, because clearly you know women so well.

As for unattractive, that was ONE person's comment. Not everyone shares the same taste in men, what is average or even below average to some is going to be outrageously sexy to others. An article written about OKC users only does not mean factual information about the world. It just means that they asked people and some (likely not ALL, definitely not the entire population) answered.

I think I have better chance in the real world rather than online.
On a dating site a woman will reject me because of my photo (which are usually terrible). Real world I have the chance to say something funny or interesting or make a connection.

I have a nice camera. I'd probably take as many candid photos of you as I needed until I got nice ones of you if I could.

---

Candid photo's could work. I feel a bit self conscious when I pose for a photograph. Hence all the daft faces !

---

This is why I prefer taking candid photos of people. It catches them in states of mind that aren't self-consious or self-hating. But instead captures who they are in their natural state.

 

[Case]

Also awaiting a Hawx update.

This is why I prefer taking candid photos of people. It catches them in states of mind that aren't self-consious or self-hating. But instead captures who they are in their natural state.

I prefer candid photos, as well. When I'm outside with a camera, I like to take photos of people. Faces, hands, couples in an embrace, parent and child hand-in-hand, someone smiling... I just like raw, unfiltered human emotions. They stir my soul, and they make for better content.

 

[SofiasMami]

Her self esteem did have some beating from past experiences, but she is pretty strong person.
Some would see it as a struggle to be with someone like that, but to me I'd just love to try to make her happy.

So perhaps it's just trust issues that made her seem cold towards you? If that could be the case and you like her then I'd keep at it.

Her having a kid could be a great thing providing she doesn't take advantage of you to get a male figure in it's life. But she could also be acting cautious to protect her child, too.

Good luck anyway

So what should I say in order to gain her trust regarding her son. Should I ask lots of questions about him so she sees that I do care for her son's wellbeing?

*Single parent who's been on the dating scene raising her hand*
If she is going to trust you, it will happen naturally and organically over time. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you're going to show up somewhere, show up. If you say you're going to call her, call her.
It's fine to ask a few questions about the kid - what's his favorite TV show, does he go to preschool, simple questions. If she's a good parent, when she's ready to let you meet him, she'll let you know.
A man who cares about my well-being will also care about my kid's well-being.

Good luck Hawk - if you like her, it's ok to put yourself out there. I hope you find what you're looking for.

-Teresa

---

As for OkCupid, or any dating site not being representative, that doesn't explain the gender discrepancy - why aren't men there equally as critical of women's appearance?

They are. BIG time. You're ignoring a crucial part of the OKC study:

---

"2/3 of male messages go to the top 1/3 of women.

When it comes down to actually choosing targets, men choose the modelesque. Someone like roomtodance above (a woman listed on the higher attractiveness scale) gets nearly 5 times as many messages as a typical woman and 28 times as many messages as a woman at the low end of our curve. Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten.

The medical term for this is male pattern madness."

---

And it is madness. Two-thirds of all men on the site are all fighting for the hottest women and ignoring the rest. Ignoring fun, cute, exciting, smart, adventurous women, all because these men perceive the women as less attractive. It's brain-damaged thinking.

The problem is that many people go on these sites with an entitlement complex that causes them to believe that they only deserve the best when the odds of them beating the crowds to win the hearts of the "models" on the site are quite remote.

---

---

Wow, Case, I LOVE this post! Wanna date?

-Teresa

 

[Batman55]

The problem is that many people go on these sites with an entitlement complex that causes them to believe that they only deserve the best when the odds of them beating the crowds to win the hearts of the "models" on the site are quite remote.

Sure, but this applies both ways.

 

[Peaches]

The problem is that many people go on these sites with an entitlement complex that causes them to believe that they only deserve the best when the odds of them beating the crowds to win the hearts of the "models" on the site are quite remote.

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

 

[Triple Bogey]

The problem is that many people go on these sites with an entitlement complex that causes them to believe that they only deserve the best when the odds of them beating the crowds to win the hearts of the "models" on the site are quite remote.

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

Really ? I think the exact opposite is true !

 

[ABrokenMan]

The problem is that many people go on these sites with an entitlement complex that causes them to believe that they only deserve the best when the odds of them beating the crowds to win the hearts of the "models" on the site are quite remote.

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

Danny DeVito is loaded with cash. Wealth will get you the hot gal, should that be your preference.

 

[Case]

Wow, Case, I LOVE this post! Wanna date?

-Teresa

Thanks, Teresa. High praise, indeed. And I'll PM you.

---

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

I agree with you, Peaches. There is a definite difference between how men see attractiveness and how women see it. Guys like Danny DeVito get by because they're hilarious, which is a big selling point for women. Some say the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think the path to a woman's heart might be her funny bone. But I could be wrong.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Wow, Case, I LOVE this post! Wanna date?

-Teresa

Thanks, Teresa. High praise, indeed. And I'll PM you.

---

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

I agree with you, Peaches. There is a definite difference between how men see attractiveness and how women see it. Guys like Danny DeVito get by because they're hilarious, which is a big selling point for women. Some say the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think the path to a woman's heart might be her funny bone. But I could be wrong.

---

you could be. I think money, power and status come into it. Who you are. But that's rare cases. 6 foot tall super models with little rock stars etc.
Humour does come into it. Lots of things do.

 

[Wanderer145]

Wow, Case, I LOVE this post! Wanna date?

-Teresa

Thanks, Teresa. High praise, indeed. And I'll PM you.

---

Sure, but this applies both ways.

it does, but traditionally women are much more forgiving about looks, and that is why you see many couples in which a girl with model looks accompanies a Danny De Vito kind of guy, but hardly ever the other way around.
I am pretty sure that a reflection of this can be seen in online dating behavior, although maybe not with really young girls.

I agree with you, Peaches. There is a definite difference between how men see attractiveness and how women see it. Guys like Danny DeVito get by because they're hilarious, which is a big selling point for women. Some say the path to a man's heart is through his stomach. I think the path to a woman's heart might be her funny bone. But I could be wrong.

---

Humour is important being funny breaks down the initial awkwardness between strangers for sure...it's a mix of things, confidence, being well kept, good dress sense and I really believe in honesty too. Mystery is important not showing all your cards to someone. These are things anyone can work on...it's just when demands such as those on dating sites. You can get turned down for not being not handsome enough, or not 6ft tall enough!