If a girl doenst find a guy "sexy", does he fall into the "creeper" category?

[tigerlily]

Wow Dr. Morlenheim you've had some bad experiences. Please realize the reverse is true. We women who are not in the average to ideal weight range also get no attention from men of any age. Even men in the mid to late forties range will continue to go for the plastic younger women rather than try to date women in their own age range. I was married or 24 years and you guessed it, my husband left me for an 18 year old girl. I have tried the online dating services. Most men my age (43) list their preference as someome 25 to 35 and slim or athletic build. The only men that tend to respond to my proile are between 55 and 70. So I guess it takes men a lot longer to stop making looks a priority than it does women.

Tigerlily

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Most men my age (43) list their preference as someome 25 to 35 and slim or athletic build. The only men that tend to respond to my proile are between 55 and 70. So I guess it takes men a lot longer to stop making looks a priority than it does women.

I can attest to this. From reading the profiles of the men in my age bracket, it seems as though many of the men my age want a woman who is 10 years younger, but who actually looks 20 years younger. Also, they want a woman with "no baggage," ie, no previous marriages or kids.

And? The best part? Many of these guys trying to order up a "slim" or "athletic" woman are themselves carrying around a pot belly that would have rivaled my belly when I was deep into the third trimester of my last pregnancy.

If there's anything I hate, it's a double standard, especially one so steeped in shallowness.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

oh man...blow up the Tube and burn de magazines

I guess I ma be smexy...
and hell no I wouldn't get into a relationship with an 18 year old...that's totally gross to me, my youngest daughter is 20.
Beside women in my age group are experienced MILF

Jenni was very pretty with a nice body...As beautiful as she was, she had image issues with her wieght...
Yet she can walk into a room and her presence catches all the male's attention.
For crying out loud...she was 5'8" and wieght 135lb

My duaghter is very pretty..she too suffers from self image issues. It's probably becuase the guys she had choosen
to get involved with treated her like honeysuckle or she recently just went through a break up. She felt rejected so her self-esteem
is not very good at the moment.
I'm positively sure my daughter wants a man the will truely love her.

My sweetheart is kind of concern of her weight becuase she dosn't have a body or mind of an 19 year old anymore.
Well...I still find her very sexy. I belive my love for her is more than skin deep.
We both in our 40's now...
I don't have a beer gut and still have plenty of hair on my head. (I wanna grow my hair out again...bring back the 80's ..man.)
I'm actaully kind of rip now too...becuase I work out and try to stay in shape.
I also don't belive my sweetheart loves me just for my looks and my smexmenist. Hahahaha...she loves my guitar playing..that's what it is.
We can have heart to heart talk and we actaully needed to get into some very deep issues about our relationship.
She actaully have been very supportive and had forgiven me for the pains I've cuased her.
And no...it wasn't about the money either....becuase I was unemployed at the time she reached out to me.

I can't throw a blanket statement or generalize anything...

For a while after a break up with my EX-GF...I honestly thought and felt all women are dirty fucken whores...
That's just how i felt at that time...I also relized just becuase I precieve life a certain way dosn't mean it was true for everyone else.
I grew out of that or I healed...Thank god, if all women on this planet r like my ex-gf, I ma totally screwed...cuz she be psycho *****.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

and hell no I wouldn't get into a relationship with an 18 year old...that's totally gross to me, my youngest daughter is 20.
Beside women in my age group are experienced MILF

LC you made me laugh out loud.

Happy New Year, btw.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Happpy new year Cheaptrick...
I hope you feel better soon.
May 2010 fill your life with peace, love and happiness
If not, at least hold on until 2012...Jesus might come back. Then long hair hippies will back in style again.

 

[packyourbags]

Or is there some middle ground?

Women, especially those within the average-to-ideal weight range, will essentially ignore any man that is not sexy.

This practice continues in wholesale fashion until
mid-late-forties, when a plethora of wrinkles sets in, making them question the value of "looks before everything else".

A creeper is a trendy tag developed by twentysomething females to add further insult to injury to the male dealing with loneliness.

Their logic: It's not bad enough to ignore someone when you can outright insult them instead!

Many times it is said within witness of other female "friends", a primitive form of female bonding.

Dr. Morlenheim

unfortunately, i can only agree

and i think that the worst part of it is, that when girls choose their guy, they don't even do it by their own criteria, but by their friends' ones.
if the guy is not someone they can brag to friends about - he stands no chance.

:/

idk.

that said - i HAVE seen some very pretty, and yes, skinny girls go for the shy, not sexy geek - so idk there are some decent girls out there, guys

s.

 

[HMoon]

Oh ffs guys, while I am willing to give the 'Doc' benefit of the doubt, he strikes me as someone who studies the subject but does not LIVE the subject. I get this feeling that he's letting his view towards women creep into his 'studies' and as a result, string together vague explanations of social interactions as a form of rationalization. I do not believe any academic/professional would (or should, given the benefit of doubt that he actually is one) take such an extreme view on things without even a nuance of debate. Instead, anyone who disagrees is 'closed minded'? You have to have an open mind before you expect others to have the same, not some arrogant, superior-than-thou attitude, 'Doc'.

Now, regarding this topic, I am not saying this to give blind comfort but while natural looks count, there are many other trait that I believe take precedence over it. Example of one is self esteem which I won't go into because a whole essay could be written about it. Another simple but often overlooked one is STYLE. I would hazard a guess and say that more than 80% of guys do not have an impeccable sense of style and this is something that makes a difference IMO. Clothes, hygiene, shoes,etc attaches a suggestive aura of confidence to any person, even those who are not 'good looking'. Think about it - Does a good, tailored suit ever let any man down? (not that you'd want to wear a suit everyday!)

'We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand' - Randy Paulsh. Its too easy to pinpoint looks when there's SO many other things you can improve on.

I happen to know people who are amazingly successful with women (unbelievable even right now to my eyes), and one of them doesn't look like a greek statue in any way or form. He's ugly in fact. He just works on his other traits that he can improve.

Thats my 2cents worth, anyway. No offense intended to anyone.

 

[viviana]

i had to do a little surfing to find out why so many people despise you. mostly because there was another thread title something like" women has it better than men" and i thought that was unfair but no women revendicate about it, so i thought why not give this guy a break he's saying the same thing as these old members who created the other thread.

now i see that where i faulted, you are a piece of work. to begin with it is so much harder for women and especially the less attracted one to find a mate because they have to wait to be picked out by the opposite sex, traditionally society frown upon women who make the first move in case you haven't noticed, and it's only now that women start going outthere to put themselves outthere, even sometimes propose to their boyfriend for the better or the worse. lol

it's hard for guys also i won't argue and i consider the possibilities that it might be, because they always have to be the one asking. but sometimes it's easier for them because the girls probably already given them a clue by smiling and making eye contact, at least that's what i do, only they don't have to be the embarrassed one when they are deceived and another girl get chosen instead of you, and they still have their dignity when they move on.
i have been so agravated by that thread i mention earlier, then to come across such proclamation.

i have seen time and time again in the store i work, and in the mall and in the street, lol beautiful, perfect figure, and young girl with guys that are not exactly in the range of hunks, i mean from what i have seen i could make a conclusion that most heavier, or heavy set guys have slim girlfriends cause those are many couples that are in my family and my friends and my clients. not very often i come accross over weight couples where both person are overwheight. and i stress weight because i think most people now are brainwash by the media and stuff that you have to be bony to be good looking, forgetting that facial and other figures count. and also because i think ugly is what anybody made it out to be. so maybe you should give your definition of unattractive because being lonely does not mean it's because you are ugly.

i use to tell myself i am pretty and tell people who compliment that i know i am pretty i don't need them to tell me when i know what they after is not in the best of my interest. now i would kill for someone to say that i am truly pretty or a lot of random people to say it to me to believe it. now i just tell myself that i love myself. i think from experience and from seeing a lot of beautiful girls, some from my highschool, and in general, fall in prostitution because they don't believe in themselves and want to be told they are beautiful, and that.... by any type of man to feel valuable, i can truly say girls are harder to find guys if they are not attractive like you put it, but mostly if they don't have the right attitude, and really stand out for the most handsome person to pick them out. i was gonna say safe for the golddigger, but why do you think they are willing to put up with old man with money. i think they go with whoever want them.

Or is there se ome middle ground?

Women, especially those within the average-to-ideal weight range, will essentially ignore any man that is not sexy.

This practice continues in wholesale fashion until
mid-late-forties, when a plethora of wrinkles sets in, making them question the value of "looks before everything else".

A creeper is a trendy tag developed by twentysomething females to add further insult to injury to the male dealing with loneliness.

Their logic: It's not bad enough to ignore someone when you can outright insult them instead!

Many times it is said within witness of other female "friends", a primitive form of female bonding.

Dr. Morlenheim

to answer this thread, i don't think not finding a guy sexy categorized someone as a creeper. there are not only two categories out there you know: sexy or creeper?

that leaves a question for you, would you classify a girl as a creeper or maybe a weirdo, or an unfeminine loner if she was not sexy. i am lonely and always have been since i could remember, i wonder why guys would not talk to me and ask me out, they only flirt and wink but never approach me. like i have some kind of invisible wall that prevent them from getting closer.

meant for the doc

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I wonder why guys would not talk to me and ask me out, they only flirt and wink but never approach me. like i have some kind of invisible wall that prevent them from getting closer.

possible reason for that is your probably very beautiful inside
and out. As you stated over and over again you tell yourself that
you're beautiful and you know that you're beautiful. The self confidence
and respect for yourself....Truns on a lot of guys but it scars the living
honeysuckle out of them.

It's dosn't really have anything to do with you....it has more to
do with the guys...becuase of the internal conflicts that they have.
The same can be said when guys get rejected by women.
Some people will internalize other poeple's conflicts.

It's easier for some people to keep people at a distance, remain uncommitted or do the rejection
first so they wouldn't have to deal with themselves or are afriad of rejections becuase of the conflicts
they have within themselves...becuase getting into a relationship eventaully the truth will reveal itself.
All of the flaws that a person has...If a person can't accept themselves as who they are with all the qualities...
good and bad..that's when the drama and truama comes in.lol
Somewhere alone the line that's not going to be too smexy..and a women can smell that a mile away.
It's a paradox... being in a relationship will draw a person out or what type of relationship they have within themselves.

Relationships usually last longer than 3 sec.
Err wtf...a person can go round and round, read and write books about how to get a girl in 3.sec. WTF havn't they heard charm and carisma?lol
I guess ya gatta read differnent books of how to keep a girl after the 3. sec.lmao

The Valentine Principles is one those books that has the same values and principles that perhasp you can relate too.
It's about, true love, committments and being real. It's base off of a children book call the Valentine Rabbit.
It was Jenni's favorite book as a child. I just happened to have the Valentine Principles
It was a connection that we had. She found that very sexy about me.
Obviousely...it took a lot longer than 3 sec. for me to know what her favorite child's book was....

second...you're not going to do one night stands, which is in your best interest.
Men that arn't ready for a commitment knows that, so they don't bother or just flirt becuase that's about as far as they're going to get.

You will attract people who's more like you than you think.
It would take a man with good self esteem, self confidence,
knows what he wants and not looking for a one night stand to approch you...

In a nutshell you're not going to settle for a spineless whimp or someone that will use you.
A man with the same awarness as you is not going to see that wall becuase it dosn't exsist,
they're only boundaries, your gate keeper or filters. He'll have enough guts, knows what he wants..that's what you find very sexy.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Women, especially those within the average-to-ideal weight range, will essentially ignore any man that is not sexy.

And just because I'm feeling feisty... WTF is with the "average to ideal weight range?"

Does "ideal" mean "thin?"

Oh and women are the shallow ones? Give me a break.

 

[viviana]

I wonder why guys would not talk to me and ask me out, they only flirt and wink but never approach me. like i have some kind of invisible wall that prevent them from getting closer.

possible reason for that is your probably very beautiful inside
and out. As you stated over and over again you tell yourself that
you're beautiful and you know that you're beautiful. The self confidence
and respect for yourself....Truns on a lot of guys but it scars the living
honeysuckle out of them.

thin themselves.

Relationships usually last longer than 3 sec.
Err wtf...a person can go round and round, read and write books about how to get a girl in 3.sec. WTF havn't they heard charm and carisma?lol
I guess ya gatta read differnent books of how to keep a girl after the 3. sec.lmao


second...you're not going to do one night stands, which is in your best interest.
Men that arn't ready for a commitment knows that, so they don't bother or just flirt becuase that's about as far as they're going to get.

wow, i don't feel so very hopeful anymore
i can see where you going with this and your advice are from experience i see. but i am gonna have to say this one is not cutting it for me. i don't blame you i think everyone have different experiences in life and therefore different opinion on things. i just want to make sure i understand what you saying, if you don't mind.

i have to reiterate that i was conceited before knowing i was beautiful and did not need to be told that to be sure (although i liked it) but i am not sure i have been all that beautiful, really. that was way before when i was a gullible adolescent. i am older now.AND put on weight, i wouldn't tell myself i am pretty and forget those guys who don't thinks so. even though i want to believe that, it feels nice to hear someone say it, even if i am not interested in that person, nowadays.

i mean i know how you talk about things so is not such a surprise that you feel that way about my situation. are you basically telling me that most of these guys that i see are all ******** who are only looking for one night stand and nothing else. gosh that just so sad to hear, so then i guess i have to become a floozy sso i can get some action otherwise i won't find this Mr impossible that share all that i am looking for that are in the best of my interest.

i also have to rectify, knowing that i am not the best catch now i'll settle for anything right now. only one thing that's stopping me is that i would not want to sleep with the biggest jerk, from my work place on a one night stand because after finding out this virgin mary "was really exactly not the sleeping around kind" i would make the news in the whole entire mall for as long as i work there.

about now i really wouldn't mind having a one night stand, if it's not going to turn around and bite me in the ass, i just choose who i think is really worth that, and i see good in people, if they only had given me a chance, i wouldn't be all that harsh to them for not wanting to settle down and commit to me already. i am not that stupid. and i am tired of waiting also so i wouldn't make someone wait until many dates to know what i am about, and whether i tend to go there or not.
it's easy to see how the world operate now, and who someone is, i think there are guys who actually want to start at least with a date first before they get to sex.

the guys i am talking about are not all about one night stand either, because i see that they provide themselves with a girlfriend few weeks later and they seem to treat the girl right, all pda and stuff. and they don't change them every week either.

i am not a conservative, but i am not a slut either, and i think it doesn't matter what i wear or how i carry myself i think all girls deserve a little respect from guys who think they are sexy, gees it;s not so hard to share a meal with someone before you can tell them you want to sleep with them.

i feel like it's no wonder all women are seen as slut because if they are not then they will die alone because guys don't need nothing else from a pretty girl but sex, if women are not flashing the right signals that they will sleep with a guy in a heart beat, then forget it. it must be about commitment.

i really do find this very sad and disturbing that you almost read me like an open book but not quite. i am not all about commitment, so enlighten me if you don't mind.

 

[Remedy]

And just because I'm feeling feisty... WTF is with the "average to ideal weight range?"

Does "ideal" mean "thin?"

Oh and women are the shallow ones? Give me a break.

Lets just face the fact that both genders are extremely shallow because like all human beings we are all visual creatures. No girl gives me the time of day even when I'm really kind and respectful toward everyone.On all the forums I've ever been on there has been many women that have talked about how important looks are as well as guys.

 

[HMoon]

Lets just face the fact that both genders are extremely shallow because like all human beings we are all visual creatures. No girl gives me the time of day even when I'm really kind and respectful toward everyone.On all the forums I've ever been on there has been many women that have talked about how important looks are as well as guys.

Kind and respectful aren't traits people find attractive, its traits everyone should be expected to have already. Your lack of confidence and utter belief that looks are the be all end all strike me as what makes you dire with women. Read my post somewhere above.

 

[Rustycar]

Most women are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's.
So don't feel too bad.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

And just because I'm feeling feisty... WTF is with the "average to ideal weight range?"

Does "ideal" mean "thin?"

Oh and women are the shallow ones? Give me a break.

Lets just face the fact that both genders are extremely shallow because like all human beings we are all visual creatures. No girl gives me the time of day even when I'm really kind and respectful toward everyone.On all the forums I've ever been on there has been many women that have talked about how important looks are as well as guys.

How about we "face the fact" that some people, regardless of gender, are shallow.

Big difference.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Most women are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's.
So don't feel too bad.

Please refrain from continuing to make these kinds of broad and insulting generalizations about women.

 

[Steel]

Most women are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's.
So don't feel too bad.

Oh joy, another bitter "expert".

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Most women are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's.
So don't feel too bad.

Please refrain from continuing to make these kinds of broad and insulting generalizations about women.

Most women are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's.
So don't feel too bad.

Oh joy, another bitter "expert".

Seriously, my head is ready to implode from the recent spate of misogyny around here.

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha well, we could always spin it the other way around:

"Most MEN are not too bright when selecting who they want to be with till about their 30's."

lol I'm a man and I wouldn't argue against that one, bitter generalization or not!

But seriously--With either sex, it takes life experience and experimentation to find the type or person that one wants to be with. There are many different sorts of people and some like to experience a relationship with every different type of person before making a decision to "settle down." Some figure it out earlier than others, that's all it is.

----Steve

 

[Remedy]

Kind and respectful aren't traits people find attractive, its traits everyone should be expected to have already. Your lack of confidence and utter belief that looks are the be all end all strike me as what makes you dire with women. Read my post somewhere above.

I know I know sorry I didnt mean it to come across that way. I just meant that many women go out with guys who aren't so much. Its just that many people don't have those traits and still find someone rather easily.Some people treat others like garbage and yet, still are liked by people. I guess its when you hate yourself like I do that people end up not liking you even though i try not to show it. I just mean I'm extremely kind and caring for other people but I treat myself like garbage which is probably the problem.