If a girl doenst find a guy "sexy", does he fall into the "creeper" category?

[HMoon]

Kind and respectful aren't traits people find attractive, its traits everyone should be expected to have already. Your lack of confidence and utter belief that looks are the be all end all strike me as what makes you dire with women. Read my post somewhere above.

I know I know sorry I didnt mean it to come across that way. I just meant that many women go out with guys who aren't so much. Its just that many people don't have those traits and still find someone rather easily.Some people treat others like garbage and yet, still are liked by people. I guess its when you hate yourself like I do that people end up not liking you even though i try not to show it. I just mean I'm extremely kind and caring for other people but I treat myself like garbage which is probably the problem.

Well, if theres anything I would hazard to guess about women, it would be that they are more finely tuned to emphasize than anything else. And I think maybe, subconsciously, if you have that lack of belief in your heart then the woman would probably sense it as well but in a way that makes her go 'Hmm..I've got a funny feeling about him' rather than 'Ah precisely, he has this and that..'.

I wouldnt say that women go out with men who 'arent so much'. I personally think that it all has to do with personal value. Lets say a tramp comes up to you and asks you for change..i'm willing to guess that you'd on most occasions reject him off hand. If say..an attractive woman did the same, you might not give the change, but you'd be more inclined to listen. The woman has more personal value than the tramp..something that makes you reckon it'll be worthwhile to speak to her.

To put it to an example - I would much prefer to spent time with Will Smith than Eeyore anyday. Will Smith would most likely be of higher value (and in this case, its alot to do with presumptions) and brighten my life more than depressing and doubtful Eeyore would. I hope I make sense.

 

[ragiop]

Kind and respectful aren't traits people find attractive, its traits everyone should be expected to have already. Your lack of confidence and utter belief that looks are the be all end all strike me as what makes you dire with women. Read my post somewhere above.

I know I know sorry I didnt mean it to come across that way. I just meant that many women go out with guys who aren't so much. Its just that many people don't have those traits and still find someone rather easily.Some people treat others like garbage and yet, still are liked by people. I guess its when you hate yourself like I do that people end up not liking you even though i try not to show it. I just mean I'm extremely kind and caring for other people but I treat myself like garbage which is probably the problem.

Well, if theres anything I would hazard to guess about women, it would be that they are more finely tuned to emphasize than anything else. And I think maybe, subconsciously, if you have that lack of belief in your heart then the woman would probably sense it as well but in a way that makes her go 'Hmm..I've got a funny feeling about him' rather than 'Ah precisely, he has this and that..'.

I wouldnt say that women go out with men who 'arent so much'. I personally think that it all has to do with personal value. Lets say a tramp comes up to you and asks you for change..i'm willing to guess that you'd on most occasions reject him off hand. If say..an attractive woman did the same, you might not give the change, but you'd be more inclined to listen. The woman has more personal value than the tramp..something that makes you reckon it'll be worthwhile to speak to her.

To put it to an example - I would much prefer to spent time with Will Smith than Eeyore anyday. Will Smith would most likely be of higher value (and in this case, its alot to do with presumptions) and brighten my life more than depressing and doubtful Eeyore would. I hope I make sense.

You sound like your blinded by lust a little, but it's not your fault. I have the same problem. Woman have this problem as well. I think a majority of men would listen to the attractive female, but I also think women would listen to the attractive male.

The Will Smith, Eeyore thing is subjective I guess.

 

[Remedy]

Well, if theres anything I would hazard to guess about women, it would be that they are more finely tuned to emphasize than anything else. And I think maybe, subconsciously, if you have that lack of belief in your heart then the woman would probably sense it as well but in a way that makes her go 'Hmm..I've got a funny feeling about him' rather than 'Ah precisely, he has this and that..'.

I wouldnt say that women go out with men who 'arent so much'. I personally think that it all has to do with personal value. Lets say a tramp comes up to you and asks you for change..i'm willing to guess that you'd on most occasions reject him off hand. If say..an attractive woman did the same, you might not give the change, but you'd be more inclined to listen. The woman has more personal value than the tramp..something that makes you reckon it'll be worthwhile to speak to her.

To put it to an example - I would much prefer to spent time with Will Smith than Eeyore anyday. Will Smith would most likely be of higher value (and in this case, its alot to do with presumptions) and brighten my life more than depressing and doubtful Eeyore would. I hope I make sense.

Well its just hard you know because like being treated the same way all your life makes you hate yourself.Its just something that just doesn't go away.I always say encouraging things to other people but I don't say them about myself. I understand though because even being to negative about yourself gives off a bad vibe that someone can pick up.As for the tramp/beautiful woman I would probably listen to both of them the same and decide how I would feel after because everyone deserves a chance. If I ever shot down like talking with people that have a negative self-image I would have missed out on some pretty good people. Like I might put down myself a lot but like when someone gets to know me I do have stuff to offer or at least I would hope so.I don't know the world is just so cruel but I'm trying to change and I have a great friend who is helping me out.

 

[packyourbags]

Kind and respectful aren't traits people find attractive, its traits everyone should be expected to have already. Your lack of confidence and utter belief that looks are the be all end all strike me as what makes you dire with women. Read my post somewhere above.

I know I know sorry I didnt mean it to come across that way. I just meant that many women go out with guys who aren't so much. Its just that many people don't have those traits and still find someone rather easily.Some people treat others like garbage and yet, still are liked by people. I guess its when you hate yourself like I do that people end up not liking you even though i try not to show it. I just mean I'm extremely kind and caring for other people but I treat myself like garbage which is probably the problem.

Well, if theres anything I would hazard to guess about women, it would be that they are more finely tuned to emphasize than anything else. And I think maybe, subconsciously, if you have that lack of belief in your heart then the woman would probably sense it as well but in a way that makes her go 'Hmm..I've got a funny feeling about him' rather than 'Ah precisely, he has this and that..'.

I wouldnt say that women go out with men who 'arent so much'. I personally think that it all has to do with personal value. Lets say a tramp comes up to you and asks you for change..i'm willing to guess that you'd on most occasions reject him off hand. If say..an attractive woman did the same, you might not give the change, but you'd be more inclined to listen. The woman has more personal value than the tramp..something that makes you reckon it'll be worthwhile to speak to her.

To put it to an example - I would much prefer to spent time with Will Smith than Eeyore anyday. Will Smith would most likely be of higher value (and in this case, its alot to do with presumptions) and brighten my life more than depressing and doubtful Eeyore would. I hope I make sense.

Dude, Eeyore has a TAIL.

i mean, for REAL.

beat this, mr. smith!!!!!

 

[HMoon]

I was going for their attitudes rather than anything else. If I were to condense everything I meant, i'd just say that if you think of yourself in a negative light, so will others.

@packyourbags - I have no idea whether that is a joke or a swipe at me, either way I couldn't get your message at all.

My 2 cents worth anyway.

 

[packyourbags]

I was going for their attitudes rather than anything else. If I were to condense everything I meant, i'd just say that if you think of yourself in a negative light, so will others.

@packyourbags - I have no idea whether that is a joke or a swipe at me, either way I couldn't get your message at all.

My 2 cents worth anyway.

it was a swipe, although i DO agree that others will see you in a bad light if you do.

i do not, however, like people that judge others by their value to you.

 

[HMoon]

Fair enough, you're entitled to your own opinions. I would have preferred a counter argument rebutting my points instead of a rather cheap swipe at a person genuinely trying to help.

@Remedy - Hope you do well buddy. If you would prefer to talk more with controversial me, sticking to PM would be best from now on

 

[packyourbags]

Fair enough, you're entitled to your own opinions. I would have preferred a counter argument rebutting my points instead of a rather cheap swipe at a person genuinely trying to help.

@Remedy - Hope you do well buddy. If you would prefer to talk more with controversial me, sticking to PM would be best from now on

hey again

rather than a counter, i'd say that giving a not that-much-more-valuable-than-my-poor-tail-swipe kind ofadvice, that basically only says "obtain personal value and become fun" is well, not that much more valuable.

i think that it will be much more useful to actually give some ideas on HOW to become more desirable, more fun, and gain that self-confidence that is (i agree) so crucial in all communication.

there is too much of the first, and too little of the second kind of advice on the forums - and i think that if people like you that seem to be better versed in these matters would share their experiences and successes things will be slightly easier for the people you are trying to help.

s.

 

[HMoon]

Well that is a bit tricky I do admit but my post was to mention that there is things that you can improve on and in effect play the cards that you are given (whatever they may be). I mean, I find myself in a better position with women than most people (fortuitously), but I am no Don Juan, far from it!

I think as a whole, clothing make a very strong lasting impression on people. Style is always lacking in most cases even among the more physically gifted among us. I used to dress badly, and I absolutely believe that I was judged before I could even talk and reveal who I truly was. Its shallow of society, I know, but we live in an age where time is of essence and I guess instinctively everything we do nowadays is to hasten the screening process (for lack of a more suitable word). I have for example, an amazing friend as sincere as can be...but he dresses like a hoodlum for some reason and I know people avoid him on the street 'just to be safe'. On the other hand, dress decently (say, more fitting clothes if you feel confident enough..some accessories..some really good pair of shoes...) and the inverse is true. You can stand out in two ways, make it the good way. How many people here honestly don't enjoy wearing a good suit (or dress) and not get more attention from it?

Well, far from trying to sound that style is the main component here, I mentioned it because it is (money permitting) the most easy option to improve on that effects people's impressions of you. A good haircut, a nice pair of jeans/trousers (and the female equivalent ofc), some t shirts and dress shirt will go a long long way and last a long time as opposed to buying alot of average stuff.

I really don't want to touch on confidence because this is something that everyone is really searching and its not something you can just 'go out there and get'. And I probably don't have the ability to talk about it and suggest improvements without sounding like a quack. However, best to fake it till you make it with stuff like: good straight posture; slow, assured and composed movements; eliminating 'umms' and 'errs' where possible (read a report that a crowd responds more to quiet contemplation as it shows composure and thought processing rather than absolute lack of idea what he's talking about) among other things.

Theres more, but this is what I feel is relatively more easily improved upon. I would suggest looking at the body language of people that are confident and naturally draw people in and see what it is they do, action wise.

 

[sb8686]

I personally never found a guy to be sexy until I got to know them! I never base my relationships with people on how goodlooking they are. I can't decide if someone is sexy until I know them lol. For instance my boyfriend to be HONEST I didn't find him VERY attractive when we first started dating but I saw something in him. He was kind warm hearted easy to talk too and I could tell right off the bat he was everything I was looking for...And sure enough two years later I find him to be the sexiest most attractive guy EVER!!

My opinion. If a guy isn't sexy upon first meeting he is NOT CONSIDERED A CREEPER.

 

[packyourbags]

Well that is a bit tricky I do admit but my post was to mention that there is things that you can improve on and in effect play the cards that you are given (whatever they may be). I mean, I find myself in a better position with women than most people (fortuitously), but I am no Don Juan, far from it!

I think as a whole, clothing make a very strong lasting impression on people. Style is always lacking in most cases even among the more physically gifted among us. I used to dress badly, and I absolutely believe that I was judged before I could even talk and reveal who I truly was. Its shallow of society, I know, but we live in an age where time is of essence and I guess instinctively everything we do nowadays is to hasten the screening process (for lack of a more suitable word). I have for example, an amazing friend as sincere as can be...but he dresses like a hoodlum for some reason and I know people avoid him on the street 'just to be safe'. On the other hand, dress decently (say, more fitting clothes if you feel confident enough..some accessories..some really good pair of shoes...) and the inverse is true. You can stand out in two ways, make it the good way. How many people here honestly don't enjoy wearing a good suit (or dress) and not get more attention from it?

Well, far from trying to sound that style is the main component here, I mentioned it because it is (money permitting) the most easy option to improve on that effects people's impressions of you. A good haircut, a nice pair of jeans/trousers (and the female equivalent ofc), some t shirts and dress shirt will go a long long way and last a long time as opposed to buying alot of average stuff.

I really don't want to touch on confidence because this is something that everyone is really searching and its not something you can just 'go out there and get'. And I probably don't have the ability to talk about it and suggest improvements without sounding like a quack. However, best to fake it till you make it with stuff like: good straight posture; slow, assured and composed movements; eliminating 'umms' and 'errs' where possible (read a report that a crowd responds more to quiet contemplation as it shows composure and thought processing rather than absolute lack of idea what he's talking about) among other things.

Theres more, but this is what I feel is relatively more easily improved upon. I would suggest looking at the body language of people that are confident and naturally draw people in and see what it is they do, action wise.

hmmm, i have to say - i agree, on all points, especially on posture and the way you carry yourself.

guys, anyone can think of more things?

 

[viviana]

i did not get an answer from, LC

i am trying to think "how to be desirable", otherwise an easy girl so that everyone or someone would want to talk to me and evenually make me their girlfriend
like that new floozy girl scenario i talk about in another post about resenting people.

helllooooo anybody there