Is Suicide the Answer?

[mgill]

i think about this option many times a week and have for as long as i can remember but am far to cowardly to ever go through with it. the knowledge that you are unwanted and will be single & lonely for the rest of your existence on this planet causes such great suffering and despair. being in public and watching all of the happy couples enjoying each other with the knowledge that you are not good enough to ever be able to experience it yourself is so excruciating that it is almost too much to bear. 

i am quite envious of those who are able to follow through as say what you wish about it but one thing is for certain-it will immediately solve every problem you have for all of eternity.  in fact, it takes so much courage that everyone who is successful at it is labeled as mentally ill.  just the fact that it is considered a crime (commit suicide)  is as ludicrous as it gets.  the legal (what i like to call the injustice) system is so insane that every person's body is thought of as government property.  here are three of my favorite quotes on the subject which i think summarize things quite nicely:

“They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.”- Arthur Schopenhauer

“It is good to be a cynic--it is better to be a contented cat--and it is best not to exist at all. Universal suicide is the most logical thing in the world--we reject it only because of our primitive cowardice and childish fear of the dark. If we were sensible we would seek death--the same blissful blank which we enjoyed before we existed.” - HP Lovecraft

"Suicide is another thing that’s so frowned upon in this society, but honestly, life isn’t for everybody. It really isn’t. It’s sad when kids kill themselves ’cause they didn’t really give it a chance, but life is like a movie: if you’ve sat through more than half of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn’t gonna get great right at the very end for you and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early. "– Doug Stanhope

 

[humourless]

Ive supported a guy who failed suicide. He and his family now live in a kind of daily Hell.

---

This is a very sensitive and very much subjective subject. And no, I don't entirely mean in how it's dealt with or seemingly selfish/attention seeking.

But rather, everyone thinks, feels, experiences, and/or been through their own versions of agony and/or snobish attention seeking. I've had it cross my mind many times as well, most strongly recently and I have a very easy exit in mind that is painless. (for the sake of not giving ideas to other people, I won't indulge)

Like as ardour said, it can even be this very real feeling of a void. For others, it's the strong desire that either reincarnation or an after life is plausible. Or, the agony is so unbearable that you want out. And lastly, there's the attention seeking and devaluing everything around you. Personally, I'm a potent mixture of them all. I'm a firm believer in re-incarnation for many multiple personal reasons that I'll save for another time perhaps.

Anyways, Either way, I feel that it is judged entirely too strong for how serious it can be only because of the latter people. Why isn't the "don't let one bad egg spoil the rest" apply here?? Or are we just finding our own excuses for not having the empathy or understanding. For some, it's projecting themselves or some hidden form of jealousy and resentment.

Don't ever take such a thing lightly. Never. For me, the ONLY reason I haven't done it yet is because I give two fucks about what I'm going to do to people and scared of what my exit may do to them on many levels. Which is why I recently pretended I was fine and just ghosting... It's just harder and harder to keep a hold and a reminder of such a thing when your mind becomes this constant battleground that you just want to stop racing and constantly beat you down. No one knows you like you do, so don't ever let anyone take what you say lightly. I'm learning the hard way that people will be quicker to see you wrongly, or get stuck on themselves and feel wronged when you're too blind and lost to help yourself. It's not taken with the grain of salt it should be when someone is hurting and that far deep.... Yes, you may have been there and feel like if you overcame it they can but whose to say they aren't further down than you ever been? You DO NOT KNOW.

Again, you aren't taken seriously and if the other person feels wronged with what you're daring to say, then they turn insensitive towards you at the worst time possible. It's misunderstanding going round and making matters worse....

I'm treated with less respect and like I'm sort of child now because I was open and honest with my thoughts lately. Who I truly am was easily forgotten once I began to fall apart and lash out. Which in turns, makes it even more tempting to end it. When you have nothing left and you feel like you have no where to go and taken seriously, where to then??? Sorry, I know I'm rambling now or sounding conceded but this a passionate and very relatable debate.

I've personally been friends with a gay guy who committed suicide in my teenage years, and I think I was partly to blame as I didn't accept his advances and probably made his validation worse. Because of how awkward, mature for my age, and empathetic I was as a teenager, I was mistaken for being gay despite being straight. People can be very insensitive to this UNTIL it hits close to home. Then it's the, "Oh honeysuckle... I was wrong about them..."

Unless you lived in someone else's shoes, don't question a god **** thing about their reasoning's for ANYTHING. Even if it goes against your own core beliefs. Because you are you, and they are them. To be frank, go fresia yourself of what you think of a person whom is so far gone that they even think of ending it out of agony or their own reasoning. And there is infact courage in the act. Please, you try to overcome the BIGGEST AND STRONGEST instinctual fear that we all have. Unless you're an extreme stuntman, climbed mount Everest or done these crazy unbelievable things, who the fresia are you to call anyone a coward. In my opinion, it just hypocritically further shows how closed minded and caught on themselves they actually are. Double standards against the "attention seeking snobs", much?

/endvent

best post ive read of yours  great writing. in fact this whole thread is gold. mist forums wont let you talk about suicide like this

 

[humourless]

Its my life I can do whatever I want
just a moment .......would a Christian say that?
a Christian might say God owns us. We are His property. Its up to Him. Not us.

 

[Siku]

Interesting... Well, "God" gave you that brain to think with. Why make us sentient and self-aware enough to question our own existence or in fact end it? I guess some would say it's a extreme test of faith.

Don't Christians also believe that suicide is still considered murder? Isn't it difficult to not consider it a sin. (Exodus 20:13 & Job 1:21) And, is it maybe considered him helping you take your own life considered he made you? Is that him in fact taking your life away as intended? *scratches head*

In my humble opinion, with how easily corruptible or indifferent mankind can be; It is hard for me to accept a book written by men claiming to be an outlet, as some primary guide to one's life. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate many things from the bible. But it is also precisely why I take from and also ignore what I wish from religion. Regardless, I do respect what it's done for modern day society but also hate how many wars it's caused. And why I'm agnostic. To each their own, and what works best for them is what I say.

Personally, I believe that someone should not live miserably and empty because they are following others' rules, because then is it really 'living'? (With the exception of murderers, etc ofc) Then again, everyone has a different view of what living life to the fullest is or even require guidance in order to live it.

 

[GustavusMacer]

The body will die naturally. Why bother?

If there is a god, I imagine (it makes sense to me, I guess) that he expects that I endure and find ways of making of life something. If he doens't expect such a thing, well, maybe I do... I don't know.

The body is not in my favour. Youth goes by, and now it'll be descent...

I'm not sure I like life. It's getting weird every day, and I have no perspective of it getting any better... I don't know what makes me cling to it. Maybe it's the only thing I have, in a way, the only thing that is really mine, even if it's not really...

I'm not as sure of this body being mine as much as my breath. This body will die, and the breath will cease. While it breathes though, I'm here. And if I loose conciousness, well, then nothing will really care will it? I'm glad I can breathe and think. And write.

Body and breath being mine or not... Do I belong to a god? If I do, he doesn't seem to have told me so. You belong to the things or people (being a god a person) you give yourself to. So, if I belong to a god, I give myself to him, that's what makes me belong to him. If I give myself to death, I belong to death. I don't like death, so I don't consider this possibility. That's only me.

End your own life is, to me, failure in enduring. I am supposed to go to the last moment, in my view. This body will inevitably die. Sooner or later I know not. I hope I get to write some things I have in mind before it ends. But writing is so hard!...

 

[humourless]

True God gave us a brain to think with. I agree. And we need to use a lot of discernment whist respecting more obvious "rules" such as Thou shalt not kill."
Informed conscience is what they call it. There might be some valid exceptions to some suicides. Who are we to judge is exactly right. All we can do is focus on our own situation whether that be a predicament or not.
I doubt I will ever commit suicide. God created me and I need to respect that. I need to respect that his game plan is different to mine and that I don't understand it nor ever will.
Plus I don't have the nerve to go through with it anyway. Im a wimp. Let us all pray that everyone on this thread finds the courage to see life to its natural end. That we don't do anything hasty or irrational. And if we do surrender to the impulse of suicide that God understands and forgives us.

 

[Siku]

True God gave us a brain to think with. I agree. And we need to use  a lot of discernment whist respecting more obvious "rules" such as Thou shalt not kill."
Informed conscience is what they call it. There might be some valid exceptions to some suicides. Who are we to judge is exactly right. All we can do is focus on our own situation whether that be a predicament or not.
I doubt I will ever commit suicide. God created me and I need to respect that. I need to respect that his game plan is  different to mine and that I don't understand it nor ever will.
Plus I don't have the nerve to go through with it anyway. Im a wimp. Let us all pray that everyone on this thread finds the courage to see life to its natural end. That we don't do anything hasty or irrational. And if we do surrender to the impulse of suicide that God understands and forgives us.
'Amen' to that, sir.

 'Amen' to that, sir.

 

[ahsatan]

There r times when it is the only answer.
I get is why people do it. I had a close friend that did it. I miss him but he had too. No ******* god to help anyone.

 

[MissBehave]

There r times when it is the only answer.
I get is why people do it. I had a close friend that did it. I miss him but he had too. No ******* god to help anyone.

I think God is a choice.
A choice to have faith and to start the journey to look for him. 
Not that I’m doing it.

 

[ardour]

I'm ambivalent  to the idea of suffering so as to not offend an omnipotent being who needs nothing  What kind of God is that? On the other hand it's better not to present suicide as the ultimate answer.

 

[MissBehave]

Technically it is the ultimate answer.
Can’t get any bigger than that.
Unless you go out with a bang.

 

[Ecclesiastes]

....

 

[MissBehave]

I think so. If I were positive there were no consequences of it in the after life, and that I wouldn't botch it and wind up a vegetable, I'd have at least attempted by now. There is literally no purpose in me existing right now, and prolonging an inevitable pathetic end does not sound particularly titillating.

I'm aiming for carrot

 

[TheRealCallie]

The better question is...is it the RIGHT answer.
It is AN answer, but I suppose one will never know if it's right or wrong unless they don't go through with it and find out.

 

[ardour]

NM

 

[QuietDesperation2.0]

Yes, it can be the answer, depending on the person and the situation. Suicide is easy for some, impossible for others. Unfortunately, I fall into the latter crowd.

It doesn't matter if I live, or if I die this minute. People treat me like crap, like I'm an ogress. I'm ugly, awkward, and the wrong ethnicity where I am, so people don't give a **** about me. It's the Halo Effect - ugly people are seen as bad and wrong in all ways, even if it isn't the least bit true. And pretty people are automatically seen as good, right, warm, kind, etc. Good Wiki article here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

I see on Suicide sites people who are in similar dire situations as I am - very ugly people that no one cares about. Much worse is that I'm treated with so much contempt and disdain that it's traumatizing for me to leave the house.

I have no real friends, online or IRL.

I do fantasize about my suicide note - though it won't be as eloquent or heartbreaking as I'd like it to be. Or maybe I won't leave one at all.

When I die, I hope my family will be able to uncover some of my better stuff and show it to all the people who have mistakenly thought I was extremely unattractive, dowdy, lowly, fresh off the boat, and worthy of abuse and exclusion.

I am not a good forum poster, so I never get anything out of it. Others who are better writers, or whose writing "hits" people more quickly, or have the right personality, or more relatable experiences - can happily post for years on a forum.

 

[humourless]

thats a well written post though

---

you cant advise others not to suicide. all you can do is face your own demons and make the decisiobs availavle.

 

[humourless]

I honestly think right now that suicide is a viable option. This week tension has been building up at work and finally exploded today. Im officially unemployable.
by the way I don't want to be responsible for triggering anyone else's suicidal tendencies. Just let me talk about suicide here. It really feels attractive sometimes. Oblivion. That's what people want. There are no more highs. Just low lows. Its like you get an insight into your future and it feels very dark and morbid. Maybe its Satan tempting you to join him. "Come on Humourless. Come over to the dark side. " yeah that's cliched too.

Suicide can address the doubting. No more doubting...yeah but maybe....you don't want to be conscious anymore. because consciousness just leaves you open to more pain, self inflicted or not.
Yeah Im more than capable of self pity here. Im not strong. Im weak . I wish I was the real Christian in action saving the poor but Im not. I wish I had the love but I don't.
Im not all evil and neither are you. im this weird mix of good and evil. Trouble is evil is winning at the moment.
If there was an easy way to go,. how many more of us would be dead by now? the fact that suicide is difficult must mean we shouldn't do it.
we all hold on to a shard of meaning of hope. and somehow place our trust in something other than our puny brain. life is not just about solving sudoku puzzles. It is about courage and insight. That we can admit to the world our failings and not be crushed by it.

 

[kaetic]

I can't answer the way I'd like to right now, not enough time. I just wanted to say, I hope it gets better for you soon, Humourless. I understand work problems, I've been laid off more times than I can count. You believe you're unemployable, I hope it's the stress making it look worse than it is. I don't have some great advice for you, only words I hope you take as encouragement. Just try to keep going. Good Luck.

 

[Siku]

I honestly think right now that suicide is a viable option. This week tension has been building up at work and finally exploded today. Im officially unemployable.
by the way I don't want to be responsible for triggering anyone else's suicidal tendencies. Just let me talk about suicide here. It really feels attractive sometimes. Oblivion. That's what people want. There are no more highs. Just low lows. Its like you get an insight into your future and it feels very dark and morbid. Maybe its Satan tempting you to join him. "Come on Humourless. Come over to the dark side. " yeah that's cliched too.

Suicide can address the doubting. No more doubting...yeah but maybe....you don't want to be conscious anymore. because consciousness just leaves you open to more pain, self inflicted or not.
Yeah Im more than capable of self pity here. Im not strong. Im weak . I wish I was the real Christian in action saving the poor but Im not. I wish I had the love but I don't.
Im not all evil and neither are you. im this weird mix of good and evil. Trouble is evil is winning at the moment.
If there was an easy way to go,. how many more of us would be dead by now? the fact that suicide is difficult must mean we shouldn't do it.
we all hold on to a shard of meaning of hope. and somehow place our trust in something other than our puny brain. life is not just about solving sudoku puzzles. It is about courage and insight. That we can admit to the world our failings and not be crushed by it.

I'm very sorry to hear about you losing your job.. and I'm sure the tension here lately (small in comparison I'm sure) hasn't been helping you either. I apologize...

You seem very much aware of your situation so I'm not going to give you any false hope or cliched response. Just.. I understand and I'm very sorry and I really hope things turn around for you soon instead of those constant lows. You are in fact, at least in this area, in very like-minded company lol. Misery loves company? heh.

Best of luck and I hope you eventually find inspiration instead of darkness in any of your foresight.