Its not what I really want but what about single lonely women using a sperm donor...?

[dontwant2beelonely]

To have kids I know they won't know their father but its not like a guy won't hit and quit it anyway. I am just saving myself from future heartbreak, right?

 

[Badjedidude]

Wrong.

----Steve

 

[Luna]

I've always thought about adoption...
Please don't think that having children will rid you of your loneliness...because it won't.
I am working on certain things in my life...in 10 years time, I hope to be happy and ready to become a parent...so I will adopt.
I don't want to put my hopes of being a parent on a man...

 

[shells]

That's a decision that's up to you, my dear. But I hope you think long and hard about it.
Children are a huge and life-long responsibility, whether adopted or not.
If you can find a genuine man who will stick by you and not "hit it and quit it", then maybe you can grow your own family.
Not all men will flee at the first sign of a confrontation - it just takes time to sift through the ones that won't.

However, if you don't want to play the waiting game and are financially/emotionally ready to adopt - then that's only a decision that YOU can make.

I suggest volunteering/working at a local daycare or a program that aids school children in poverty in your local area to get a feel for what kind of responsibilities you may have ahead of you.

---

I also suggest that your heart be committed in it 100% as to whatever decision you make. Because if not, it won't be far to the child you adopt.

You have to remember, it's another life that you'd have to look out for - not just yourself.

 

[Danielle]

dontwant, I have thought about sperm donors myself. Not for the same reasons... but because i fear I wont meet anyone.... and I would really like to have children. In the next year or two.. if i don't meet that special someone, I think I will go ahead with the sperm bank...

 

[dontwant2beelonely]

dontwant, I have thought about sperm donors myself. Not for the same reasons... but because i fear I wont meet anyone.... and I would really like to have children. In the next year or two.. if i don't meet that special someone, I think I will go ahead with the sperm bank...

Yeah i have that fear to not meeting someone in time so to speak.

 

[h i]

is it cheap or does it cost a lot?

the guy way of having kids alone, sucks... surrogate mothers are expensive. cause youre suppose to pay for the whole time shes pregnant. food and housing and stuff. then you have to do court documents and stuff which costs money. and then, you have to raise the child... like sheeeesh. or you can just buy her a few beers...

im sure you could work something out with a decent fellow.


if i ever did something like that, id at least want it to be someone i admired for some quality, for the child to have. not just some random person. cause the childs like half theirs, even if its not legally, genetically its still part theirs.

 

[ftm0014]

First of all, the original poster said sperm donor NOT adoption, there IS a difference!

Second, this is a VERY opinionated and highly personal decision...a VERY serious matter for a woman to contemplate the sad reality that she may never become a mother, let alone via traditional, conservative means. Yall should be a little more sensitive in my opinion...some heavy stuff man!

Lastly, some advice that requires some introspect...you're assuming that ALL guys would treat you that way...I beg to differ. Learn to think outside the box and open your mind to all possibilities. Perhaps you need to re-examine what your definition of a real man is.

 

[Brian]

I know of a pretty inexpensive and respectful sperm bank in northern Idaho.


...Just sayin'.

 

[Badjedidude]

I know of a pretty inexpensive and respectful sperm bank in northern Idaho.

LOL XD hahaha

I hear there's one in Kansas, too.

 

[coricopat]

I know of a pretty inexpensive and respectful sperm bank in northern Idaho.

LOL XD hahaha

I hear there's one in Kansas, too.

If you go that route, at least you can be pretty certain your offspring will be internet savvy.

Joking aside, there's nothing wrong with going the single mom route. So long as you're doing it for the right reasons. If you live anywhere near a big city, you can probably find a 'Single by Choice' group, so you won't be completely alone in your child-rearing endeavors. Lots of women these days are deciding to 'go it alone' rather than settle for someone less than stellar.

 

[Badjedidude]

Lots of women these days are deciding to 'go it alone' rather than settle for someone less than stellar.

The problem with this sentiment is that not every guy is GOING to be stellar. It's just simply impossible, and for a woman to only seek the best of the best is actually sort of dumb. It would be smarter just to look for a few key qualities in a partner (loyalty, same interests, intelligence, etc)...and just let the rest be small cookies.

*shrug* My 2 cents, I guess.

 

[marfles7]

Anyone remember the Octomom? the reason for her to have kids was specifically because she felt lonely. Any woman who thinks having children will "cure" their loneliness really needs help. Loneliness is a feeling that comes from inside, NOT a situation. You can be married with 10 kids and still feel like a lonely flat honeysuckle on a sidewalk.

To the OP i really hope that's really not the reason you wanna have a baby. And one more thing, men aren't the only ones who can break your heart. A pain a man can give you, will never match the pain a child of your own may give you throughout your life. A man can break your heart and you can kick him out of your life. But not a child. So don't think that because you're avoiding the guy, you'll avoid a heartbreak.

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

but there are so many men walking around out there who could be your sperm donors, and the delivery method can actually be fun as opposed to clinical.

 

[h i]

I joined a surrogate site, just to see what my options were.