Regumika
Well-known member
Let me explain. given the example of smoking. If 1 smokes and meets 2. 2 does not smoke but would prefer that 1 does not. Should 1 work to stop smoking for 2, to make 2 happier? Should the reason to change ever be the other person?
Or should change only happen before you meet the person. That they accept you "for who you are". Another example. If 1 drinks and meets 2. 2 does not drinks but would prefer that 1 does not. 1 feels that they are starting to be addicted to drinking and decides to stop.
3rd example. If 1 drinks and meets 2. 2 does not drink but would prefer that 1 does not. 1 and 2 do not work out because 1 drinks too much and becomes unreasonable too often, causing real issues. 1 and 2 decides to split. 1 decides to stop drinking and meets 3. but if 1 just stopped drinking earlier, 1 and 2 would happily be together.
is there a line as to when you should change? is a line for what reasons you can change for? are there reasons that you shouldnt change for?
Or should change only happen before you meet the person. That they accept you "for who you are". Another example. If 1 drinks and meets 2. 2 does not drinks but would prefer that 1 does not. 1 feels that they are starting to be addicted to drinking and decides to stop.
3rd example. If 1 drinks and meets 2. 2 does not drink but would prefer that 1 does not. 1 and 2 do not work out because 1 drinks too much and becomes unreasonable too often, causing real issues. 1 and 2 decides to split. 1 decides to stop drinking and meets 3. but if 1 just stopped drinking earlier, 1 and 2 would happily be together.
is there a line as to when you should change? is a line for what reasons you can change for? are there reasons that you shouldnt change for?