The Best Places To Meet Women

[Unsigned]

EVERYONE gets rejection. Even the "cool people."

As for humiliation, you can only be humiliated if you allow yourself to be. It's a state of mind.

Yes I understand this.
But what some may not understand, especially if they had not been through it, is that if from the first day of kindergarten until the last day of high school, there was some of public humiliation for you (often more than one per day) done by others for their own amusement, the VERY LAST THING YOU WOULD EVER DO is open yourself up to more humiliation.

Here's a very simple personal anecdote. As I was the "skinny weakling" back in school, whenever we had teams in gym class, they would wait to see which one I would get picked for (I was usually picked last or next to last) and make that team be "skins" -- so I would have to take off my shirt so everyone could make fun of me. I was 35 before I started even wearing short sleeve shirts again in public.
That s**t lasts a long time.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

I'm "tallish", 6'1".
I've had women in grocery stores ask me to get things for them off the top shelf.
And then act very appreciative when I get it for them.
I suppose if I had wanted to continue the conversation, make small talk and perhaps a couple of jokes, I could have.
So yeah...even I can see that once in a while, you can try to chat up a female at the grocery store.

Also, in a retail store, you could be buying a present like perfume or something for your mother or sister, and ask a female for advice. Thus starting a conversation that way.

I don't do these things because...it's just not what I do or have ever done.
But I know that's on me, not some "unspoken rule of shopping".
But the opportunities are there in those places. Maybe not all the time, but they are there.

I don't remember anyone ever asking me to reach anything for them. Maybe at 5'9 I'm not considered tall enough.

 

[user 190541]

As for humiliation, you can only be humiliated if you allow yourself to be. It's a state of mind.

I'm not sure I agree with this, but to me the problem isn't the humiliation in itself, it's actually the sufering that it entails. Suffering is the problem, not humiliating yourself as, indeed, you only see something as humiliaiting if you believe it is, but the suffering is very much real regardless of what you think about it. Once you have suffered, there's no amount of mental gymnastics that will erase that suffering. Best you can do is try to give it meaning.

 

[WillPower]

EVERYONE gets rejection. Even the "cool people."

As for humiliation, you can only be humiliated if you allow yourself to be. It's a state of mind.

Yes, but cool people get rejected much less if at all. If you get rejected fifty times in a row, your spirit is going be broken. You don't develop an immunity to it.

For most women, they never really have to experience this because for the most part, guys are the ones expected to approach. So they really don't understand this.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm not sure I agree with this, but to me the problem isn't the humiliation in itself, it's actually the sufering that it entails. Suffering is the problem, not humiliating yourself as, indeed, you only see something as humiliaiting if you believe it is, but the suffering is very much real regardless of what you think about it. Once you have suffered, there's no amount of mental gymnastics that will erase that suffering. Best you can do is try to give it meaning.

Sorry, but I have to disagree with that. People get over suffering all the time. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's also nowhere near impossible.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes, but cool people get rejected much less if at all. If you get rejected fifty times in a row, your spirit is going be broken. You don't develop an immunity to it.

For most women, they never really have to experience this because for the most part, guys are the ones expected to approach. So they really don't understand this.

I've been rejected plenty of times, thank you very much.

 

[WillPower]

I've been rejected plenty of times, thank you very much.

How many times have you approached a stranger and asked them out?

 

[Abstamyous]

Do strangers like being straight up asked out? I can see how that would be off putting.

 

[WillPower]

Do strangers like being straight up asked out? I can see how that would be off putting.

If you can't ask a stranger out or for their number, what else is left? Just online dating? Being introduced through friends? What if you don't have a lot of friends who can introduce you? Seems really limiting.

 

[Unsigned]

Do strangers like being straight up asked out? I can see how that would be off putting.

It's rather subjective, I would say...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It's rather subjective, I would say...

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Never understood this, everyone allows different boundaries for different people. I feel like copying someone else and expecting to be treated the exact same as if you are them is creepy

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's rather subjective, I would say...

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Unless the dude is my boyfriend, I'm calling HR on both of them.

How many times have you approached a stranger and asked them out?

I don't ask random strangers out. I talk to them, get a sense of whether or not I actually want to ask them out and then, if I do want to, I ask them out. If they say no, it's fine because not everyone is a match. Also, I have been rejected by the "not cool" guys too.

 

[Abstamyous]

If you can't ask a stranger out or for their number, what else is left? Just online dating? Being introduced through friends? What if you don't have a lot of friends who can introduce you? Seems really limiting.

Or you can generally chat with people and get to know something about them first.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Unless the dude is my boyfriend, I'm calling HR on both of them.



I don't ask random strangers out. I talk to them, get a sense of whether or not I actually want to ask them out and then, if I do want to, I ask them out. If they say no, it's fine because not everyone is a match. Also, I have been rejected by the "not cool" guys too.

I've never heard of a woman asking a man out.

 

[randomguy]

I'm confused, why are we asking total strangers out?, That's just weird and creepy innit

I've never heard of a woman asking a man out.

Seriously?

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I once met some one at a protest for sunsetting the PATRIOT ACT. I think it's kind of the first time I've ever really met some one at a mutual, 'place of interest.' Our time together was brief; but, on the whole, was pretty interesting.

It's not likely I'm going to meet anyone in my bedroom; but, that's where I remain mostly, these past few years...

I think both men and women will have their different styles. Some women are visually stunning. Some men can make almost anyone laugh in any situation. Some people are shy. Some are snappy dressers.

The best I could realize for myself, is, it's about constancy in a routine that involves being around other people. A few years ago, for me, that was community college. There was constancy (important for some one like me, who is shy, and needs some time to build up to initiating social congress), and I was out and about in a place where people my age, and of the opposite sex, were also engaged in similar function.

I've never really gone on, 'dates.' I know I'd be terrible at it, unless there was mutual interest before hand, going into it.

 

[user 139760]

I've never heard of a woman asking a man out.

I'm with Random.
Hell, I'm not that pretty anymore and I get that on occasion. Last time I went out for drinks with the family and offspring, I was asked to buy someone a drink.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I've never heard of a woman asking a man out.

Well, maybe get your hearing checked, because it happens quite a bit.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Or you can generally chat with people and get to know something about them first.

Yes, exactly. Lol

 

[WillPower]

I don't ask random strangers out. I talk to them, get a sense of whether or not I actually want to ask them out and then, if I do want to, I ask them out. If they say no, it's fine because not everyone is a match. Also, I have been rejected by the "not cool" guys too.

Well, then that's my point. A woman will rarely ever experience rejection the way a guy will because they don't approach guys and actually ask them out. You become friends with a guy and then if he doesn't want more than that, then it's no big deal. You don't have to experience someone looking at you with pure disgust on their face or like you are a lower life form. You don't have someone just straight up ignoring you and looking through you the way I have. That kind of rejection is humiliating.

Or you can generally chat with people and get to know something about them first.

It's pretty hard to chat with someone when they reject you right off the bat. But yes, I do try to start a conversation with them. But if by chat, you mean become friends with them for a while first before expressing romantic interest, that generally doesn't work for guys. Guys will just get put in the friend zone at that point.