What romantic things are women known for?

[TropicalStarfish]

You look outside your window and notice a bag flowing through the air along currents of wind. You wonder to yourself, "Where did it come from?" "And where is it going?"

 

[Jaminacaranda]

I was thinking to myself the other day, and it occurred to me that although women are typically seen as the emotional, romantic, empathetic caregivers, I can't even think of anything romantic that women are known for in the mainstream.

I'm not just talking about one situational case (you, your brothers GF, a friend of a freind .etc), but anything they're actually known for, to give them that rep. They have lots of romantic stuff done for them, but as best I can recall, it's not like women are typically out there trying to romance men.

They do like to be romanced but it's not like they should gain any positive rep from that, besides being lazy, and entitled.

Though I'm not actually trying to lay offense to women with this thread, I'm just attempting to either uncover, or understand this apparent misconception.

I've never been too sure about what constitutes 'romance' but on the other hand I understand flirting and in that regard I think women excel.

 

[ewomack]

Well, to be fair, I haven't seen much evidence on these forums in general that would tell me that men got a lot going on upstairs, in general.. there's a few I suppose but when it comes to women, so many of them just shut their brains off, and let their dicks run the show.

As for being afraid, if you can't express your feelings from the other side of a screen to people on the other side of the planet (for all you know), that's about as 'unmanly' as one can get.

And I already displayed my distaste for, sex = romance" mentality, so to be fair, you kinda brought the backlash on yourself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total prude, but, sex comes after romance, as an unrelated cherry on top. Not as a reason for romance, unless you're doing some mutually agreed hook-up/prostitution. But in those cases, I don't think it could really be considered 'romance' if ur just gonna fresia n' ditch.

Sex shouldn't really be focused on at all in initial romance unless you're down with pointless, fail relationships.

And yea.. I'm a guy myself, so I'm hardly stereotyping all men like that, just the majority. And if women want sex just as much as men, then they really need to stop 'slut shaming' men..

As for me personally, I could give a honeysuckle less about sex. Right to the point that I could be with someone in a sexless relationship, and it wouldn't really bother me, so long as we clicked on an emotional/intellectual level.

I mean, no one knows my body, or desires better than me, so with the right toys and a good imagination.. honestly sex is the one thing I really don't feel I need a woman for.

As for the comment about imbeciles, tbh, hearing you and some of the other guys on this forum talk about women just brings me right back to the 90s.. and I find it beyond frustrating that there's been so little progression beyond that ape-like mentality.. especially with the internet.. Like, honeysuckle.. get outta your memes and click bait long enough to look up something that'll actually make use of your brain.

When I get frustrated, I often tend to slip and start using words like 'idiot', 'stupid', 'imbecile'; rather than the more grammatically correct term 'ignorant'. Which is to say that it's not so much that these men lack the brain compacity to think beyond their primal urges, but that they're willfully ignorant because it's easier for them that way.

I think you're possibly just judging people too quickly based on not enough evidence. And I think you might jump to conclusions. But be careful accusing others of "not having any brains" before you get to know them better. Give people a chance, loosen up, and you might find some great things even in people who do some things that you despise.

And I can honestly say that I've never, not once, "romanced" a woman to just "f*** and ditch" her. The story that I shared involved two people who, at that time, had a pretty fun and satisfying sexual relationship. We also read books together, studied languages together, ate a wide variety of food from all over the globe together and did far, far, far more talking and walking together than rolling around in bed. Neither of us were slobbering sex maniacs, but occasionally we enjoyed each other physically. We didn't need sex to enjoy each other's company. That story was a bit of an outlier in our short but mostly conversation-based relationship. We lived far away from each other, which was at least partially why it didn't last, but I enjoyed it while it existed, including that little snippet of naughtiness that I shared. I still find it cute. You probably "had to be there" as they say, but in this case it's definitely good that you weren't.

Just don't judge people so quickly. That won't serve you well in the long run.

 

[xephier102]

I think a lot of women will agree that getting them for Valentine's Day or the like is not so much romantic as it is "obligation."

In reality, if you want an actual equality between the sex's, the man isn't 'obligated' to do anything. That's the problem with society, is expectations. People should really learn to use their heads and think as individuals, instead of as part of some pre-established gender based construct.

So the OP, might be a little closer to the feminine side. That's probably a good thing. He can actually enjoy all the work required to lead up to sex. As for me, "I bought you flowers last Valentines Day. What more do you want?" That may help explain why I'm alone. Ha! ha!

I don't really think of myself specifically as a man. Don't get me wrong, I know I am a man; like, I got a dick, therefore my sex = male. And I'm not one of those trans types that feels like he's a toaster or w.e the F; but I don't strut around with my junk pressed forward going "I AM MAN!" I see through my eyes, and I see everything in the same way as I would if I was a woman. Though obviously I'd likely be a touch more biased on the female side of things if I were. But I don't wear it like some BS flag of pride; nor do I feel I should have to do anything to prove that I'm a 'man'.

If a woman is drowning, and I'm standing there with seven other women watching her drown, I shouldn't be shamed any worse than the seven others that stood there and did nothing. Though I know a lot of people would disagree with that concept, how badly do you want equality, really?

So, you say "feminine side", I say "new age". Because this is really the direction things should be going in (ideally).

I mean, if you really think that you haven't been passively brainwashed since you were a kid, into thinking a specific way in terms of your birth gender; consider this. Would it not be comfortable AF to wear a silk dress? I mean, it would be, that's hardly even a question, no one hates the feel of silk.. So why don't you?

Hell, open a **** jar for me if you know it needs opened so I don't have to struggle with it. That's romantic to me.

Wet down an abrasive dishrag, wrap it around the lid, and twist, or sometimes a dry towel will do. That's all I do, beats murdering your hand on it.

You sound HOT!!!!! I once bought new tires and repaired the AC in a girl friends car for her birthday. But, I didn't get her anything else. Huge Mistake! I actually thought I did something really nice for her because she kept complaining about being so hot inside her car. But, she was PISSED!!!!!! And we ended up in a fight over it. Then because of that she said I ruined her B-Day.

Yea.. Ditch her a$$... As lonely as my life has been, I'd never give way to the needy types like that. Those are the types of women that give women a bad name.. They're like the women version of incels (actual incels, not just the lonely types that get called 'incel').

Saying that women aren't romantic is more an issue with you, than it is a reality.

Not really, I'd hardly bother bringing it up if it was that subjective. The proof is all around in the mainstream media, and like the one guy pointed out; yes, things get more equivalent once into the relationship for a while, but on the entry point, the dudes deff get the shite end of the stick. Don't see too many women out there trying their asses off to get with a man..

Men do tend to have a physical advantage over women, but not always, and that doesn't exclude the possibility of women becoming violent or abusive.

Yep, and men are taught en masse, not to hit women. So there's a lot of men that get abused by women, and by their own built-in morals, can't even defend themselves.

I need to know them and trust them before leaping into the sack.

Yes, thank you.. This is how more people should be in general, like, objectively speaking. As it would have a profound positive impact on society if this were the case.

A lot of people have it in their heads that sex/booze is the be-all-end-all, and two things needed in order to be happy. But that's only because they've been brainwashed to think that way since early childhood. I've even noticed a lot of children's shows that passively hint at alcohol consumption. Then when ya hit 18 (or 21, depending on legal age in your state/province), it's shoved in your face like you've got to go and get drunk. Like some messed up right of passage bullshit.. Hell, the Simpsons has been advertising the consistent need for alcohol in one's life, since I was a kid, in the 80's..

And ya don't even gotta be 12-14 to start watching shows that push on you the importance of getting laid. But even before that the shows start to drip-feed it to you with constant emphasis on a partner's physical appearance, in relation to personal/intimate relationships.

I didn't find it erotic it all, in fact it scared the hell out of me

As it should.. Imagine the shoe were on the other foot.. The woman would probably phone the police..

no psychological algorithms or formulas will probably ever completely explain human behavior.

I beg to differ on that point. A lot of human behavior is passively dismissed as 'biological' but in fact is very much societal, but in the cases like yours, some would be to do with upbringing. The type of environment you were brought up in, your experiences, and how you chose to perceive those experiences, which gave you a more open mind, and allowed you to break away from the general stereotypes. I would even argue that a lot of the behaviors that we don't act out, are more human/biological, than the ones we do.

The point of all this is don't fall for the stereotypes or popular psychology around these things. It might be right some of the time, but it can be really, really, really wrong sometimes.

Absolutely correct. It's rare for people to think for themselves, and to be true individuals. So they tend to idolize professionals, rather than considering the objective facts around them. And as such, we've got a lot of (relative) idiots, teaching idiots to be smart, lol.. Then masses of idiots beyond those, following their word like the bible.. Just because things are mainstream, they become 'normal' and accepted.. How quickly we forget the deeply negative impact, that mentality had in the days of slavery, or Nazi Germany.

^ I'm glad you are sophisticated enough to refrain from bashing others that don't think like you do. Hugh?

Said every Nazi ever, lol.. But all jokes aside, I'm mostly aiming at the mentality. Apologies if you were struck with any of the splash damage.

You look outside your window and notice a bag flowing through the air along currents of wind. You wonder to yourself, "Where did it come from?" "And where is it going?"

I've never been too sure about what constitutes 'romance' but on the other hand I understand flirting and in that regard I think women excel.

I don't, you must be good looking.

 

[xephier102]

(Apparently it's age restricted, so must be watched on youtube, but it's only 2 minutes. )

Equality!

 

[TheRealCallie]

In reality, if you want an actual equality between the sex's, the man isn't 'obligated' to do anything. That's the problem with society, is expectations. People should really learn to use their heads and think as individuals, instead of as part of some pre-established gender based construct.

Well, no honeysuckle, Sherlock. There's a **** reason obligation was in quotes...

I don't really think of myself specifically as a man. Don't get me wrong, I know I am a man; like, I got a dick, therefore my sex = male. And I'm not one of those trans types that feels like he's a toaster or w.e the F;

Yeah, that's not offensive at all.....

Would it not be comfortable AF to wear a silk dress? I mean, it would be, that's hardly even a question, no one hates the feel of silk.. So why don't you?

Wtf the fresia does this even mean? I'm a woman and I'm not about to wear a ******* dress, whether it's made of silk or gold. I don't ******* wear dresses, so this is bullshit and irrelevant.

Wet down an abrasive dishrag, wrap it around the lid, and twist, or sometimes a dry towel will do. That's all I do, beats murdering your hand on it.

Ever occur to you that I can't open jars for other reasons? Like, oh, I don't know, I have carpal tunnel in both wrists and I can't twist the ******* lid? Believe me, I know every **** trick in the book. Hell, sometimes, I even have trouble opening DOORS because of my wrists.

They're like the women version of incels (actual incels, not just the lonely types that get called 'incel').

This doesn't even make the slightest bit of sense.

Don't see too many women out there trying their asses off to get with a man..

Look harder. There's actually even a dating app where women HAVE to message the guys.

Said every Nazi ever, lol.. But all jokes aside, I'm mostly aiming at the mentality. Apologies if you were struck with any of the splash damage.

I don't, you must be good looking

Seriously....wtf....

 

[Finished]

Well, no honeysuckle, Sherlock. There's a **** reason obligation was in quotes...

You definitely have a gentle way about you. Ha! ha!

Hell, sometimes, I even have trouble opening DOORS because of my wrists.

Okay. That makes you seem even hotter. Get you in the bedroom, shut the door, and you can't get out. However, the other person probably wouldn't get out alive either though, ever. Ha! ha!

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay. That makes you seem even hotter. Get you in the bedroom, shut the door, and you can't get out. However, the other person probably wouldn't get out alive either though, ever. Ha! ha!

I have trouble with doors, but no problem at all with windows. But yeah, the second part is probably accurate. lol

 

[xephier102]

Well, no honeysuckle, Sherlock. There's a **** reason obligation was in quotes...

Lol!

Yeah, that's not offensive at all.....

If you're talking about the trans stuff, well.. I saw a video of this girl that cut off her legs because she felt like an amputee.. so yes, people have taken the whole trans thing to stupid lengths.

Wtf the fresia does this even mean? I'm a woman and I'm not about to wear a ******* dress, whether it's made of silk or gold. I don't ******* wear dresses, so this is bullshit and irrelevant.

Well duh.. to you! That was obviously aimed at the dude I quoted after you. Lol..

Ever occur to you that I can't open jars for other reasons? Like, oh, I don't know, I have carpal tunnel in both wrists and I can't twist the ******* lid? Believe me, I know every **** trick in the book. Hell, sometimes, I even have trouble opening DOORS because of my wrists.

U mad bro? Lol.. obviously that didn't occur to me. Sure ya cant swap the knobs on everyone's building, but in-case you haven't thought of it already, it's fairly easy and not too costy to swap the knobs on your house/apartment doors to the pull down kind.

Not trying to paint you as stupid or anything, just not sure what you have or haven't thought of.

This doesn't even make the slightest bit of sense.

Simple comparison. Incels give men a bad name, and needy *****-types give women a bad name.

Look harder. There's actually even a dating app where women HAVE to message the guys.

Is there actually? Cuz I've never heard of it, but I remember making exactly that suggestion on a forum (mighta been this one) some time back. But even if there is one, that hardly compares to the dozens of sites in which women get on free, but men have to pay.

I mean, why would men pay if dating was as easy as sitting back and waiting for the women to roll in?

Seriously....wtf....

Not really, you ever see a woman hitting on an ugly dude? I sure ain't, and I've lived in multiple major metropolitan cities. And I'm 41..

However, the other person probably wouldn't get out alive either though, ever. Ha! ha!

What's she gonna do, palm him to death, lol...

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I've been romanced by a woman I believe. I think it's just that, as a man, I don't/didn't perceive the gestures as, 'romantic.' I guess to me they were, gestures of sentimentality. Which, I think is all romance is. It's games of courtship.

Just like the female anatomy is different from the male, the games of courtship are going to tend to look different as well. Just as the masculine principle differs from the feminine principle, etc.. etc..

But in response to OP, I couldn't come up with anything. Is that because a woman has never romanced me, women don't do romantic things as gestures towards men, society shapes things a certain way, or I, as a male, am not really trained to see things in that way?

It's a combination of many things I think. I'd love it if a woman bought me flowers. I also think, I'd feel it's a bit too much, if she bought that huge crazy boque that takes up a lot of room, heh, or that wild exotic flower you have to constantly tend to or it will die (i've done the latter before -.-). Also, I'd probably not want flowers very often, as they just tend to die; but, every now and then would be nice.

I've also tried to, 'dress to impress,' before; but, she never got the hint, and didn't really appreciate it. heh, she didn't notice anything special was done with her in mind, in that regard, and I'd always be a bit disappointed. Typically women do things like that, etc.. etc.. But it'd take a certain type of woman to be able to notice and appreciate something like that, as it does a certain type of man...

And we all know, men and women alike, there are those women who think the world exists to serve them; and likewise there are those men who behave in similar fashions.

I tend to think men get the short end of the stick in a lot of ways, and that society has a long way to go in regard to tending to those issues properly; but, unfairness is life. Women used to be traded by their families as basically currency, lol, so at least I'm not going to be sold off to some dude I never met, so my family can get some cattle and eat for the winter...

I'd rather not get bent out of shape about those things. All you really can do is vote, be active, and try to live by your principles/values.

I've liked my feminine side, for some time, and have for quite a while, felt it to be stronger than my masculine side, without seeing that as some sort of inherent problem in my social development. And I'd much rather make love than war, between the sexes.

There is an old saying; and it goes, 'the grass is always greener.' Some times you make it to the other side, and find out, keeping that grass so green isn't ******* worth it, lol.

 

[xephier102]

I've also tried to, 'dress to impress,' before; but, she never got the hint, and didn't really appreciate it.

Did you do it in the same sense as women do? Like, did you buy special pants that let your balls be half exposed? Cuz I don't think women appreciate seeing our danglies in the same sense that we're supposed to appreciate seeing theirs.

Women used to be traded by their families as basically currency, lol, so at least I'm not going to be sold off to some dude I never met, so my family can get some cattle and eat for the winter...

Aranged marriages are still a thing in places like India. But in Canada/America we're supposed to be so sophisticated and advanced..

I mean, I'm not going to accept men being shat on/ignored by society just because women were in the past.. That's just a seriously messed up mentality.. Punishing people that had nothing to do with the crime, just because they match the profile..

It's just the same damned thing all over again but worse, because this time around, we have the knowledge to do better.

All you really can do is vote

Wow.. how American of you.. bury your head in the sand and expect that politicians will fix everything.. and if they don't then it was clearly because you voted for the wrong person.. so if that fails, what's next, take up religion, then when honeysuckle still fails, blame it on the obvious fact that you didn't pray hard enough, or that you chose the wrong god?

I'd much rather make love than war, between the sexes.

You and me both, but that's done through awareness, not ignorance, and that's what I'm all about.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well duh.. to you! That was obviously aimed at the dude I quoted after you. Lol..

And again I have to say it. Well no honeysuckle, Sherlock. I am aware of that, but I'm a **** woman and wouldn't wear a silk dress, so a man not wearing one is just irrelevant.

U mad bro? Lol.. obviously that didn't occur to me. Sure ya cant swap the knobs on everyone's building, but in-case you haven't thought of it already, it's fairly easy and not too costy to swap the knobs on your house/apartment doors to the pull down kind.

Not trying to paint you as stupid or anything, just not sure what you have or haven't thought of.

Pretty **** sure you are trying to paint me as stupid, like you do everyone who doesn't agree with you. lol

I never said what kind of knobs I have in my house, but I'm pretty **** sure that are doorknobs in more than just my own house. If I'm not mistaken, almost everyone uses doorknobs. Should I go around changing those too?

Not really, you ever see a woman hitting on an ugly dude? I sure ain't, and I've lived in multiple major metropolitan cities. And I'm 41..

Ugly is also subjective. But yes, I have. And I've done it myself.

Is there actually? Cuz I've never heard of it, but I remember making exactly that suggestion on a forum

Yes and because you've never heard of it, being the smart, know everything guy you are, it must not exist. Maybe do your research before you go claiming something? It's called Bumble and it's been around since 2014.

 

[ardour]

Hm. I think you're going a bit far and are getting into the realm of stereotypes. For one, if you consider my story an example of men being "sex hungry pigs," then you're assuming a lot about me and about my relationships, not to mention about men in general. Your use of the word "imbeciles" also makes me think that you're hiding some big presumptions and it also makes me not want to take your opinions seriously. Painting all men in this way also makes me think that you haven't been paying much attention or that you've been looking in the wrong places or for the wrong things. Yes, plenty of men like the ones you stereotyped above do exist. Plenty of women would also fall into that category. Women want sex as much as men and many consider "romance" a path to that. There's nothing wrong with that, but it also doesn't mean that that's all there is to a relationship. Couples need to clearly define their definitions of "romance" as well, because this vague term doesn't mean the same thing to everyone and it can easily cause frustrations and misunderstandings. Many men, including me, do want more than sex from women, but sometimes they don't know how to express those needs or they are afraid to for fear of appearing "unmanly." That doesn't make them "imbeciles" or "sex hungry pigs," unless you judge them shallowly. I think you need to look further and think deeper about this subject. You are showing a lack of originality yourself.

Imagine you stuck a plushie down your pants and told her "go fetch." She'd probably be disgusted with you. But we're thirsty half-wits who don't need much more than sex dangled in front of us so I guess that counts as romantic, right?

You may not fit the stereotype or agree with the assertion, but if that's the only example of a romantic gesture you can think of then it does add weight to his argument.

And I'd be very suspicious of any woman who 'rewards' a man that way.

 

[TheRealCallie]

. By the way I'd be very suspicious of any woman who 'rewards' a man that way.

Nearly every relationship that has a healthy sex life uses sex as a reward....I would say every, but I know there are relationship that have a very vanilla sex life and that's okay too.

ETA.....Oh and yes, men do it too.

 

[ardour]

When I tell many men these stories, I receive responses such as "that must have been awesome" or "guys would kill to be in those situations" or "I wish I had your problems." Some have seen my perspective and said "that must have been creepy," but that's been uncommon. We're all different and no psychological algorithms or formulas will probably ever completely explain human behavior. Just don't give into stereotypes or accept manipulative or abusive behavior, follow your gut and things should work out okay. For years I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't have "typical" male sexual responses. A few therapists, friends and girlfriends didn't help, either. They tended to make it worse. But I'm now comfortable with it. The point of all this is don't fall for the stereotypes or popular psychology around these things. It might be right some of the time, but it can be really, really, really wrong sometimes.

I don't think there's anything unusual or even "unmanly" about this. Being expected to perform on cue with someone who offers their body up to you like a prime steak would come off strange for all but the most mindless person.

 

[ewomack]

Imagine you stuck a plushie down your pants and told her "go fetch." She'd probably be disgusted with you. But that's okay for us being that we're thirsty half-wits who don't need anything more than sex dangled in front of us.

You may not fit the stereotype or agree with the assertion, but if that's the only example of a romantic gesture you can think of then it does add weight to his argument.

That is not romantic. That is just sex. And I'd be very suspicious of any woman who 'rewards' a man that way.

Heh - you're over-reacting as well and taking a single incident that you've heard and applying it to a relationship and to people that you know nothing about. My other posts had plenty of examples of "romantic things" that had nothing to do with sex or fleshiness of any kind that you could look at. Besides, "romantic" means many things to many people, but I thought we had gone over all of this before.

And I'm not sure where you're getting the concept of a "reward" from. Again, you're assuming something. It wasn't a "reward" for anything, it was simply an overture to intimacy. Not that there's anything necessarily wrong with "rewarding" your partner in that way. In any case, she wasn't manipulating me, I wasn't manipulating her. Believe it or not, people can have sex without ulterior motives. I've had other experiences where I felt that I was being manipulated and I was able to walk away from most of them, but that was not one of them.

I never tried a plushie down my pants with her, but I should have. She probably would have found it funny and things either would have gone further or they wouldn't have. If she didn't know me at all, then that would have been beyond creepy, but we were pretty established by the time any of that happened. Many of the women I've dated enjoyed sex and have enjoyed some playfulness along with it, too. Not everyone probably does, and that's their business. But when you have a deep relationship with someone, then sex can become more than just a physical, biological act. It can become an act of deep intimacy, trust and bonding and probably the ultimate in romance. It's rare, but it can happen with patience, understanding and trust building between two people of any gender or sex (some claim that it can happen with more than two people, but that's not an avenue that I've ever explored). The one night stands aren't even in the same galaxy. But, again, that's my take on it. Others may disagree, that's fine. Others may prefer little or no sex in a relationship and that's fine too, as long as all parties want that. We're thankfully not all the same, or the world would be a very boring place.

In the end, you don't have to find it romantic. That's fine and it's your business. I just wanted to give more details to prevent misunderstandings. All I can say is try not to judge people and things so quickly.

 

[ardour]

Heh - you're over-reacting as well and taking a single incident that you've heard and applying it to a relationship and to people that you know nothing about. My other posts had plenty of examples of "romantic things" that had nothing to do with sex or fleshiness of any kind that you could look at. Besides, "romantic" means many things to many people, but I thought we had gone over all of this before.

And I'm not sure where you're getting the concept of a "reward" from. Again, you're assuming something. It wasn't a "reward" for anything, it was simply an overture to intimacy. Not that there's anything necessarily wrong with "rewarding" your partner in that way. In any case, she wasn't manipulating me, I wasn't manipulating her. Believe it or not, people can have sex without ulterior motives. I've had other experiences where I felt that I was being manipulated and I was able to walk away from most of them, but that was not one of them.

I never tried a plushie down my pants with her, but I should have. She probably would have found it funny and things either would have gone further or they wouldn't have. If she didn't know me at all, then that would have been beyond creepy, but we were pretty established by the time any of that happened. Many of the women I've dated enjoyed sex and have enjoyed some playfulness along with it, too. Not everyone probably does, and that's their business. But when you have a deep relationship with someone, then sex can become more than just a physical, biological act. It can become an act of deep intimacy, trust and bonding and probably the ultimate in romance. It's rare, but it can happen with patience, understanding and trust building between two people of any gender or sex (some claim that it can happen with more than two people, but that's not an avenue that I've ever explored). The one night stands aren't even in the same galaxy. But, again, that's my take on it. Others may disagree, that's fine. Others may prefer little or no sex in a relationship and that's fine too, as long as all parties want that. We're thankfully not all the same, or the world would be a very boring place.

In the end, you don't have to find it romantic. That's fine and it's your business. I just wanted to give more details to prevent misunderstandings. All I can say is try not to judge people and things so quickly.

The OP was pointing out a dynamic where women assume men will be satisfied with the odd bit of sexy times thrown their way like a bone (no pun). Nothing you've said is counter to that, although maybe I missed the other examples.

Another question would be how often women message at the beginning of relationships. The last person I dated (very briefly) said outright she thought having to message a man was demeaning to her. I dismissed this as a product of being from a traditional culture she grew up in since she was from the far north east of Russia, but really her attitude was just the extreme of how a lot of people think. It' lonely being forced into the role of the pursuer no matter how hot the "prize", and curious this social norm refuses to die after half a century of progressive social change.

 

[xephier102]

I'm a **** woman and wouldn't wear a silk dress, so a man not wearing one is just irrelevant.

Not really, you have clear reasoning for not wanting to wear one, likely due to expectations placed on you when you were younger. But as a matter of pure comfort, nothing would feel better than a silk dress on a cool summer day.

Either way, all you're attempting to do is deflect my point, which has very strong relevance. Gender based expectations are a very real thing in society, and you're pretty much the only one here trying to disagree with that point.

If I'm not mistaken, almost everyone uses doorknobs. Should I go around changing those too?

Sure ya cant swap the knobs on everyone's building

Maybe read what I say before preemptively preparing attacks..

Seriously, I thought we were past this..

Ugly is also subjective

That's bullshit mostly said by good looking people as an excuse to push ugly people to the bottom of the food chain, with zero repercussions.

I mean, it's a half truth. I mean, ya don't see a whole lot of ugly people on TV/movies. Not as main characters anyways. And typically if they're in them at all, it's based on the fact that they're ugly, and therefore they fit the ugly person role. And the person playing that role is often made fun of, especially in comedies.

Ugly may be subjective, but most people tend to agree on pretty mainstream profiles when it comes to what's considered good looking. Few would disagree that tom cruise or katy perry are good looking.

Yes and because you've never heard of it, being the smart, know everything guy you are, it must not exist.

I literally asked you if it really existed. It was a serious question. No need to be snarky. For as much as you judge me for judging others, you're pretty quick to judge, yourself.

I don't think there's anything unusual or even "unmanly" about this. Being expected to perform on cue with someone who offers to body up to you would come off strange for all but the most mindless person.

Is true. I don't love bashing other people's intellect (as often as I know I do so), but it's so damned hard not to when this mentality is so mainstream.. If I didn't know better, I'd think that sex kills more braincells than weed..

I mean, no one should be throwing their body at you within hours of knowing you.. It only shows that they're either a mindless pervert, and/or too brainless to interact with you in a non sexual manner.

Besides, "romantic" means many things to many people

To further clarify once again, I was talking about actual romance, not that modern Hollywood crap, in which good looking guy meets good looking girl, her eyes go part crossed, it's love at first sight, then sex happens.. cuz that's not romance, it's bullshit, and doomed to fail a good percentage of the time when the people are forced to actually talk, or spend time together in a place in which sex isn't possible.

My other posts had plenty of examples of "romantic things" that had nothing to do with sex or fleshiness of any kind

Then why not use those examples here, rather than following up with sex based nonsense, after I'd already expressed my distaste for it?

It' lonely being forced the role of the pursuer not matter hot the "prize", and curious this social norm refuses to die after about half a century of progressive social change.

Yea.. It's actually very degrading to men.. hard to see value in yourself when no one ever pursues you.. And when one's self perceived value drops to zero or below, it becomes exponentially more difficult to bother pursuing anyone else..

 

[Sunless Sky]

Replying to OP here.

I have been romanced by a woman before. She took me out on a date and even asked me if I would marry her.

She didn't say it was a date straight away of course, she was the shy type after all. She took me to fancy dessert place and would smile a look away whenever I looked at her.

That being said though, I agree that mainstream media doesn't put that much of a focus on the girl romancing the guy. I vaguely remember one romcom I watched where the woman was romancing the man but can't recall the name.

 

[kaetic]

Well, if we're going by the media... everyone is beautiful and promiscuous, or slightly unattractive with a quality that makes up for it (intelligence/humor). They have unlimited amount of money, clothing, and live in amazingly decorated homes.
But don't worry if you don't, because buying something from the commercials will probably help.

media is designed to make you feel less than, to sell honeysuckle. not to represent reality.