The Best Places To Meet Women

[TheRealCallie]

Well, then that's my point. A woman will rarely ever experience rejection the way a guy will because they don't approach guys and actually ask them out. You become friends with a guy and then if he doesn't want more than that, then it's no big deal. You don't have to experience someone looking at you with pure disgust on their face or like you are a lower life form. You don't have someone just straight up ignoring you and looking through you the way I have. That kind of rejection is humiliating.

Um, I just said I ask guys out. I just prefer to actually talk to them and get a sense of them before I do so. And no, I don't "become friends with them." Talking to someone doesn't magically make them friends.

And you don't know what I've experienced, so maybe just speak for yourself and let others speak for themselves too.

 

[Unsigned]

You don't have to experience someone looking at you with pure disgust on their face or like you are a lower life form.

This actually happened to me before covid.
We used to go out quite a bit after work prior to the lockdowns.
I usually never approach anyone but the guys were cajoling me about a girl sitting at the bar with her friend.
So I went up, ordered a drink, and politely asked her what she was having (was dark like some type of Kahlua drink), just as a conversation starter. The look/face she gave me! And the curt, nasty response "It's coffee!". The nerve of me, asking her what drink she was having!

The guys saw this and agreed that she grossly overreacted given the politeness of my approach.
No big shakes.
I was only there to drink, anyways.

 

[TheRealCallie]

So I went up, ordered a drink, and politely asked her what she was having (was dark like some type of Kahlua drink), just as a conversation starter. The look/face she gave me! And the curt, nasty response "It's coffee!". The nerve of me, asking her what drink she was having!

Sometimes people just want to be left alone. Was it a bit much? Probably, but that doesn't mean it had anything to do with you as a person. She might have responded like that to anyone.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Well, then that's my point. A woman will rarely ever experience rejection the way a guy will because they don't approach guys and actually ask them out. You become friends with a guy and then if he doesn't want more than that, then it's no big deal. You don't have to experience someone looking at you with pure disgust on their face or like you are a lower life form. You don't have someone just straight up ignoring you and looking through you the way I have. That kind of rejection is humiliating.


It's pretty hard to chat with someone when they reject you right off the bat. But yes, I do try to start a conversation with them. But if by chat, you mean become friends with them for a while first before expressing romantic interest, that generally doesn't work for guys. Guys will just get put in the friend zone at that point.

I don't think you are quite right here. I'm fairly sure women know about the feelings of rejection you talk about (i'd wager on it); not all of them, sure, but some of them. I think they are less likely to be so forthcoming about it though...

As far as the, 'friendzone;' I think it's a faulty concept that needs to be dropped. It's sort of like, yeah, the, 'friendzone,' exists, technically, as a social phenomena; but, calling it that, is only hurting you. It's kind of like, 'men's locker room talk...'

I don't use words like, 'friendzone,' heh. It just sounds a bit juvenile... IMO, anyway...

If you think about it differently, lol, it's kind of funny. "Dude, I've been lonely for years, and I finally made a RL friend today!!" "Really!? You're in the friendzone now, bruh!!! Kiss that lonely life goodbye!!"

ehh.. anywho..

 

[Abstamyous]

Not that it counts, but I did a tally (because my vast amount of experience). I've asked out 8 guys and was turned down by all of them. 1 of them was married, so not all bad lol.

But I don't have to hold onto that because I have boobs

 

[WillPower]

Um, I just said I ask guys out. I just prefer to actually talk to them and get a sense of them before I do so. And no, I don't "become friends with them." Talking to someone doesn't magically make them friends.

And you don't know what I've experienced, so maybe just speak for yourself and let others speak for themselves too.

Well, I would consider this asking a stranger out. Even if you do talk to them for a bit. Good for you then, cause not many women do this. But again, I don't think your experiences are comparable to a guy's. The fact that you are even allowed to talk to them for a while shows that. Have you ever had the experience of just being straight up ignored and rejected right off the bat and not even given a chance to say anything?

This actually happened to me before covid.
We used to go out quite a bit after work prior to the lockdowns.
I usually never approach anyone but the guys were cajoling me about a girl sitting at the bar with her friend.
So I went up, ordered a drink, and politely asked her what she was having (was dark like some type of Kahlua drink), just as a conversation starter. The look/face she gave me! And the curt, nasty response "It's coffee!". The nerve of me, asking her what drink she was having!

The guys saw this and agreed that she grossly overreacted given the politeness of my approach.
No big shakes.
I was only there to drink, anyways.

Exactly. Even when women are rejected, guys are usually much nicer about it than women are. Women can be much colder and crueler. I try to be understanding at times, cause women are probably approached a lot more, so maybe they feel they have to be cold cause they are sick of all the guys approaching them. But at the same time, they can at least treat me like a human being.

 

[WillPower]

I don't think you are quite right here. I'm fairly sure women know about the feelings of rejection you talk about (i'd wager on it); not all of them, sure, but some of them. I think they are less likely to be so forthcoming about it though...

Yeah, I'm not saying a woman doesn't experience rejection. Just saying the way a guy experiences rejection is vastly different and can be a lot more cruel than the way women do. Just look at the example Unsigned gave. Most women don't have to go through something like that. And that's a reality for many men who try to approach women.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, I would consider this asking a stranger out. Even if you do talk to them for a bit. Good for you then, cause not many women do this. But again, I don't think your experiences are comparable to a guy's. The fact that you are even allowed to talk to them for a while shows that. Have you ever had the experience of just being straight up ignored and rejected right off the bat and not even given a chance to say anything?

So, I mean no offense by this, but I would reject you if you approached me. Not because of the way you look or anything like that, but because of the assumptions and disdain you have for women. And yes, it would almost certainly be "seen" in conversation. The fact that you have this opinion is likely part of the reason you don't have better results. That and the negativity you seem to have for the entire process.
Don't sit there and give me this crap that MY experiences aren't "comparable." First, NO ONE has the same experiences, so there's that. Second, women can have those experiences as well, regardless of whether or not you want to acknowledge it. And third, you want suffering and rejection? Try being married to someone who constantly told you that you were NOTHING and WORTHLESS and that they would be the only man who would ever want you because you were that much of a piece of honeysuckle. Try living with that for 8 years and see how you feel about that. Have I been rejected 50 times in a row? No, I haven't, but I HAVE been rejected. I HAVE been ignored. I HAVE been turned away from because I even got there. And that's not even what I went through in my marriage. Speaking of rejection. Try having all your friends turn from you and look at you in disgust because your husband was too jealous to allow his "property" to be friends with guys so he told them lies and those friends actually believed him. So yeah, I know rejection. I know it quite well. So do YOU ever experience THAT type of rejection?

 

[WillPower]

So, I mean no offense by this, but I would reject you if you approached me. Not because of the way you look or anything like that, but because of the assumptions and disdain you have for women. And yes, it would almost certainly be "seen" in conversation. The fact that you have this opinion is likely part of the reason you don't have better results. That and the negativity you seem to have for the entire process.
Don't sit there and give me this crap that MY experiences aren't "comparable." First, NO ONE has the same experiences, so there's that. Second, women can have those experiences as well, regardless of whether or not you want to acknowledge it. And third, you want suffering and rejection? Try being married to someone who constantly told you that you were NOTHING and WORTHLESS and that they would be the only man who would ever want you because you were that much of a piece of honeysuckle. Try living with that for 8 years and see how you feel about that. Have I been rejected 50 times in a row? No, I haven't, but I HAVE been rejected. I HAVE been ignored. I HAVE been turned away from because I even got there. And that's not even what I went through in my marriage. Speaking of rejection. Try having all your friends turn from you and look at you in disgust because your husband was too jealous to allow his "property" to be friends with guys so he told them lies and those friends actually believed him. So yeah, I know rejection. I know it quite well. So do YOU ever experience THAT type of rejection?

You're making quite a lot of assumptions yourself. Anyhow, I stand by what I said. Most women will not have to experience the same types of cruel rejections that men get when they approach. As far as other cruelties you have experienced, I never spoke on that. So not sure what was even the point of bringing all of that up.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Well, maybe get your hearing checked, because it happens quite a bit.

I've never been asked out and none of the guys I know have either. I'm not saying it never happens of course.

 

[TheRealCallie]

You're making quite a lot of assumptions yourself. Anyhow, I stand by what I said. Most women will not have to experience the same types of cruel rejections that men get when they approach. As far as other cruelties you have experienced, I never spoke on that. So not sure what was even the point of bringing all of that up.

It's relevant because it's rejection. I was rejected by my husband and by all my friends because of the lies he told them.
As for the assumptions about you....sure, I might be wrong, but I doubt it. You hide it well, but the way you talk about women, it seems you don't have respect for them and blame them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I've never been asked out and none of the guys I know have either. I'm not saying it never happens of course.

Now I could be thinking of someone else, but didn't you say you walk with your head down to avoid people? I mean, if you're not approachable, you won't be approached.

 

[okidoke]

There’s also the fact that women get sexually assaulted a LOT more than men, so they sort of have to be a lot more on guard and standoffish I guess.

Let’s not do the comparison thing. For a start, I would bet hands down that you choose not to approach certain women who don’t come up to your standard as well.

 

[TheRealCallie]

For a start, I would bet hands down that you choose not to approach certain women who don’t come up to your standard as well.

BUT BUT BUT...that's OKAY. Because us evil womens can get any guy we want...as long as they are in the top 10%, of course.

 

[WillPower]

It's relevant because it's rejection. I was rejected by my husband and by all my friends because of the lies he told them.
As for the assumptions about you....sure, I might be wrong, but I doubt it. You hide it well, but the way you talk about women, it seems you don't have respect for them and blame them.

It's completely different situations though. You telling people that they can't be humiliated unless they allow it when you haven't been through what they have been through is silly to me. And that's the main point I was making. Not that you haven't suffered in any other way at all.

If we are going by posts, you seem more angry at men then I am at women. Every little thing, you're crying chauvinism, sexism, and misogyny. But I'm going to stop because once again you're trying to derail my thread with personal attacks.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's completely different situations though. You telling people that they can't be humiliated unless they allow it when you haven't been through what they have been through is silly to me. And that's the main point I was making. Not that you haven't suffered in any other way at all.

If we are going by posts, you seem more angry at men then I am at women. Every little thing, you're crying chauvinism, sexism, and misogyny. But I'm going to stop because once again you're trying to derail my thread with personal attacks.

It's silly because I was rejected by the person that was supposed to love and honor me until we died. It's silly because I suffered through 8 years of emotional abuse, physical abuse AND rejection and I got over it. Do you honestly believe that someone telling you that you are nothing and you are worthless isn't rejection? And I've been rejected by people other than my husband too.
And no, I have no issue with most men, just the ones that blame others and try to make their situation so much worse because us evil womens couldn't possibly understand anything that a precious man might endure. Fix your issues ( and that goes for women too, EVERYONE has issues), get rid of the negativity and treat women like they are people, not something to win/trick and maybe you'll have better luck.

 

[user 139760]

If we are going by posts, you seem more angry at men then I am at women. Every little thing, you're crying chauvinism, sexism, and misogyny. But I'm going to stop because once again you're trying to derail my thread with personal attacks.

That's twice now, you've associated a differing, honest opinion with personal attacks.
I wouldn't want to be misconstrued as doing the same, so I'll try to chose my words carefully. She's been in relationships and has children. I've been in several and have children. You may have videos and be knowledgeable and insightful in your postings, it's not bad advice at all, but I'd like to suggest that when we talk about mentality and approach, maybe me, her, anyone who actually has been in several relationships, or has had children, maybe we actually know what we're talking about.

We're also probably not as angry as you think we are. That's really just an assumption.
Your advice is good, but your presentation does tend to lend towards a dehumanization of women. I don't feel it's an accurate representation of reality. Devil's advocate, you're addressing yourself to a wide base, but you're kind of falling in the same trap as I reproach most media of being guilty of; focusing on the divide between men and women. I think that's an error.
Men and women have much more similarities than disimilarities.

 

[okidoke]

Look, the answer to the OP is simple.

Wherever women are.

How you approach them is an art.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Hmm I actually appreciate this thread, found it very respectfully written from a personal stance.

Heres my girl tips for any that care I can only vouch for women like myself.

Best place to meet and approach women like me would have to be when I'm in a friendly mood pursuing a hobby of some sort.

What is something a man could do that will push up his success rate? Say nothing about how I look, nothing at all. Unless its about the clothing because we are at a comic con or something lol

If I talk to you, offer to buy me something, I don't care what it is, could be a keyring just make me see you are serious about wanting to get to know me. Proof is in the purchase lads!

If someone is rude to you during rejection, be stoic, walk away, so your chances with other women will go up rather than down.

Awh and @WillPower I don’t see many posts from you, but I enjoy ones I do see so I hope you wont get discouraged.

 

[user 148069]

First off, I think the list you have written is very good and comprehensive. The volunteer and classes are great suggestions.

Speaking as a shy and introverted person who has had a fair share of difficulties in dating I wanted to highlight a good point Tropical has made.
The part of about constancy and just being around other people.

The best I could realize for myself, is, it's about constancy in a routine that involves being around other people. A few years ago, for me, that was community college. There was constancy (important for some one like me, who is shy, and needs some time to build up to initiating social congress), and I was out and about in a place where people my age, and of the opposite sex, were also engaged in similar function.

I met my partner while volunteering. We talked, found out that we had similar interests and things just developed from there. When I look back at this, I realize a couple of things. One, I didn't choose to volunteer for the sole purpose of meeting someone. Two, I probably was just in the right place and right time. What I mean to say is that there may be some element of luck there involved. I found that when I just accepted that certain things were out of my control and stopped trying to force a certain outcome that is when I had success.
I want to add that there was no instant attraction when I first met my partner. It built over time as I got to know him better. Sometimes a relationship just develops organically when you least expect it.